36. Max

36MAX

Corinne shouts my name.

I push wet hair out of my eyes, squinting to see without my glasses, which are stowed in my pocket. Kira and Logan are behind her, all three fighting their way through the rain.

My jaw tightens. I don’t know why I’m annoyed that they followed me, but I am. It’s like I haven’t had a second to breathe since I stepped off the boat, except for last night with Kira. Kira, who won’t even look at me.

Corinne catches up first. “Have you seen anything?”

I shrug. “Haven’t gotten very far.”

“Should we do a loop around the house?” Kira asks. She’s still not looking at me.

I know whatever we had is probably over, and maybe it should be, but it still gives me this hollow feeling in my chest. The truth is, I’m pissed. At myself. At her, for giving me exactly what I deserve.

“Fine,” I say. “Let’s go.”

We start a half walk, half jog around the house, straining our eyes through the rain for anything that looks like a generator. It’s not until we get to the back patio that I realize I don’t even know what I’m looking for. Elody was right. I’m no expert. Even if we found one, what would I do? Electrocute myself, probably.

Lightning splits over the sea, lighting up the mannequin still lying on the beach, that stupid message dripping across its chest. YOU’VE BEEN #CANCELED, like a goddamn joke. It’s idiotic, and still, I know whoever dragged it out here must have been so satisfied with themselves, what they knew was in store for us.

Rage rushes through me, hot and fast. I stop and rake my soaked hair out of my face, a growl dying in my throat.

“Max?”

Kira. She’s standing a few feet away from me, looking at me in a way I can’t read, but maybe—maybe there’s a hint of concern there. Of the Kira who doesn’t hate me.

“Do you see anything?” she asks, and all at once, it’s gone, a trick of the light. Now, there’s nothing but distrust in her eyes.

Corinne and Logan are behind her, pulling their hoods tight around their faces.

I look away. “We should go inside. This is pointless.”

“Seriously?” Kira says, annoyed now. “This was your—”

“Do you know how to fix the power on an entire private island?”

She blinks at me, her lips parting like she wants to say something. Instead, she presses them together, looking hurt. Angry. She wipes the rain from her eyes and turns to march away.

Wait, no. Jesus, why do I keep making this worse?

I call her name, but she doesn’t answer, so I run after her and reach for her hand. Kira flinches and steps back, glancing at her palm like I shocked it.

“I’m sorry.” The words spill out, desperate. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I—”

I take a breath, lost for words. Corinne and Logan can probably hear me floundering right now, but I don’t care. I need Kira to know that I’m not who she thinks I am. I can fix this. I step closer and lower my voice.

“Kira, I know I look like a hypocrite right now. And a jerk, and an ass, and any of the things you can think of to call me, and maybe I am, but … but I’m not like the rest of them. Jared Sky. Everyone else here.” I reach out, but I’m not sure what for. My arm falls to my side again. “I want to be better. I’m doing everything I can to fix this, because you make me want to be better. Because you’re not like them, either. You’re different.”

Something changes in her expression. Hardens.

“I’m different?” she repeats.

I don’t know how, but I screwed up. “You’re…”

“‘Not like other girls,’ right? I’m better?” Kira laughs drily.

“No, wait. That’s not what I meant.”

“But you did.” Her mouth twitches like she wants to laugh again but can’t. “That’s your problem, Max. You want to be better than everyone. Different. You came here to make a documentary exposing the rest of us, but you forget that you’re one of us. And so am I.” Something passes through her eyes, maybe surprise. Doubt. Then, they’re fiery again, her words coming sharp and certain. “We’re not different from everyone else. Every single person here turned content creation into a career. And it doesn’t matter if it’s fitness or thirst traps or hard-hitting journalism. We all need followers to survive. Sure, you call people on their bullshit, but that doesn’t excuse your own. It doesn’t make you above us just because you’re better at lying to yourself.”

I want to say something else, but I’m rooted to the ground, my tongue thick and unmovable. Kira’s stare is unrelenting, her shoulders moving up and down with quick breaths, and she’s right. Here I was, trying to figure her out, while she’s seen right through to my dark, twisted center and pulled it out to analyze in high definition.

Kira turns back to the other two, who stand stunned. Equally disgusted with me.

“Let’s go.” Kira starts walking, and Logan follows, but Corinne stays put.

“We all go together.” From the way she looks at me, it’s clear she isn’t worried about my well-being. Corinne’s gaze flicks to my pocket, and I realize. She’s afraid of me. She thinks I did this.

Logan gives me a dark look over her shoulder. “Let him stay out here if he wants. He won’t kill anyone until he’s got his camera to take it all in.”

Corinne relents, following the others, and I watch them go, letting the rain soak through my jacket. Anger shoots through me, making my teeth chatter. Logan, of all people, thinks I’m the bad guy. They all do. They don’t care if I follow them back to the house. They might as well be leaving me for dead, all because of one mistake I made three years ago. One mistake that I didn’t even get to defend myself for, because …

Because instead of trying to fix it, I did nothing. I let Lacey disappear.

Thunder booms overhead, and it shocks me into my senses. I jog to catch up with the rest of them, and we sink back into the shadows of the house.

As Corinne and Logan go deeper inside, Kira stays by the door, locking it behind us with a little click that feels final.

“Kira,” I beg. “I…”

I need you to forgive me,I think. I need you to tell me I’m not unsalvageable. It’s what I want to say, but I can’t make the words come out, not when she’s looking at me with those eyes. I take a breath.

“I just—”

The gun goes off before I can finish.