Library

21. Kira

21KIRA

“I’ll go.”

Elody grins at me, surprised. “Damn. Miss Kira Lyons is coming out of her shell.”

Heat rushes to my face. She’s not the only one who’s shocked here, because the top of that list would be me. I hate spin the bottle. There are too many variables, too many potential disasters, just like, well … anything that could get into make-out territory.

But maybe it’s the way Elody was looking at Max just now, like she wanted to eat him whole, or the way Max was looking back, like he wanted to be eaten. Maybe it’s everything that’s happened today, the slowly suffocating vise of panic in my chest, or maybe … you know what? Maybe I just want Elody to wipe that shocked look off her face.

Tonight, I’m choosing chaos.

I reach for the bottle. For a second, Elody tightens her grip, both of us holding on before she lets go, and the bottle gives way.

She smiles. “All you, babe.”

I smile back at her, like a girl whose heart isn’t hammering against her ribs, and set the bottle on the floor.

“Okay, before we start,” I say, “I feel like we should make sure we all give consent.”

We go around, and everyone says they’re cool with standard spin the bottle kissing. But when we get to Zane, he rolls his eyes.

“Come on, man.” He smiles, lopsided. “I’m all for consent, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just spin the bottle. It doesn’t have to be so intense.”

The same disgust I felt earlier today sizzles inside of me.

“Pretty fitting statement for someone who’s trying to convince us he’s not a predator,” I snap.

“Oh my god.” Elody puts a hand on her heart, her jaw open in exaggerated surprise. “Who is she?”

Corinne looks to Logan and asks gently, “Are you okay with playing this game if he’s here?”

She shrugs. “Fine with me.”

Still, an uneasy feeling starts to brew.

“Maybe this is a bad idea,” I say.

“I said it’s fine,” Logan insists.

“See?” Zane smiles at me, so calm and normal, it’s unnerving. “It’s just a game, right? I consent.”

I glare back. “Fine.”

Swallowing my anger, I give the bottle a twist. It spins, and spins, and …

Graham takes his vape out of his mouth. “Uh, that’s me, I guess.”

I can’t ignore the little dip in my heart, because physics has failed me. One more shift to the left, and it would have been Max. As soon as I have the thought, I want to crawl right back into the carefully constructed shell I’ve just started to creep out of. There are so many more immediate, terrible things to worry about than how I feel about a boy. But I can’t ignore the war of feelings deep in my stomach, fear fighting my need to release it, overthinking at odds with how badly I want not to think.

So stop thinking,I tell myself.

I look at Graham. He doesn’t seem all that excited about this game or the prospect of kissing me, so we might as well just get it over with. I lean across the circle, give Graham a quick peck, and hand him the bottle, forcing myself not to glance at Max.

Graham spins, and it lands on Aaron. Elody “oohs” excitedly as the guys glower.

“Seriously?” Aaron mutters.

“Hate to tell you, dude, but you’re not my type,” Graham deadpans.

Zane gives him a shove, a little too hard. “Come on, guys. Lighten up.”

He holds out a hand for Graham’s vape.

“Fine.” Graham passes it to Zane, leans across the circle, and gives Aaron the quickest, least enthusiastic kiss I’ve ever seen. Aaron spins, and when it stops, he groans like the entire universe is against him.

“Sorry, Logan, but I’m twenty-one years old. I’m not kissing a high schooler.” He looks pointedly at Zane, who’s hitting the vape, mist swirling from his lips.

Logan laughs. “You’re a good man, Aaron Tyler Banks. But technically, I’m a dropout.” She takes a messy swig from her wine.

Zane grabs the bottle out of her hands.

A sharp, sober look cuts through her tipsiness. “What the hell?”

“I think you’ve had enough,” he tells her.

Logan glares, and suddenly if looks could kill feels less hyperbolic. And I don’t blame her. But it seems like she wants to move on. Logan sets her half-full bottle down between them and grabs the empty one, spinning it. It lands on Elody, and Logan gives her a quick, sloppy kiss.

My heart beats faster as Elody lets the bottle fly. I know exactly who she’s hoping it lands on. When it’s Zane, she doesn’t even try to hide her disappointment.

And then I see Max watching her. A sick feeling spreads through me. I hate thinking of other women as competition—I had more than enough of that during Dance It Out—but it’s hard not to compare myself to Elody. It’s not even that I’m insecure. I like the body I’m in, the person I try to be. It’s just that Elody’s whole thing is that she’s everything I’m not: loud, fun, and fearless. It’s hard not to focus on that.

Elody sighs and gestures at Zane. “Come here, babe.”

She gives him a reluctant little kiss, and then he takes his turn. The bottle goes around weakly until it wobbles to a stop.

Corinne looks down the bottle pointed right at her. “So actually, I’m gonna pass.”

“All good.” Zane reaches for Logan’s wine bottle, the half-full one. “I might tap out. I’m a little old for this game, anyway.”

He takes a long swallow before Logan snatches the bottle back.

“I think you’ve had enough,” she snaps, throwing his own words back at him.

Zane laughs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Don’t worry. It’s all yours.”

“I think Max should go,” Elody says, totally casual and inconspicuous. “He hasn’t had a turn yet.”

Max gets red, and I clench my teeth. I don’t care about this boy. I am immune to his messy hair and crooked smile, and the disarming effects of his blue eyes. I am definitely not noticing the little freckle on his hand as he reaches for the bottle, or the way my heartbeat is kicking up again as he spins it around. It spins, and spins, and—

Elody stops the bottle with her hand, a wicked smile spreading on her face. “Oh, look. Me again.”

“That’s not how you play,” Aaron says.

“Sorry, babe.” Her stare is locked on Max. “Can’t argue with the bottle. It’s the rules.”

It’s not the rules and she knows it, but that’s why she’s already won—because it is just a game, and it doesn’t really matter. I can’t argue without making it embarrassingly obvious that I like Max.

Elody crawls forward and pulls off his glasses. His face flushes.

“What?” she asks, low and raspy. “You scared?”

Elody inches close enough that there’s barely a breath between them, but she won’t close the gap. Instead, she dares him with her eyes, waiting. Max starts to lean in with a blank look on his face, like he’s just caught in her gravitational pull. Then, with a swallow, he shuts his eyes, and I swear, in the millisecond before their mouths meet, Elody looks at me out of the corner of her eye and smiles.

And then they’re kissing.

At first, Max barely moves, mouth closed, but then Elody digs her fingers into his hair, and I can see the exact moment his resolve breaks. Her pink acrylics scratch down his neck, and he kisses her harder, his hands finding her hips, the small of her back. She bites his lip, hard, and this low sound comes out of his throat, and I can’t watch this. I can’t believe I’m letting myself feel like this over a boy who never even liked me to begin with. A boy who I already knew I couldn’t trust.

“You guys want to get a room?”

For the first time ever, I’m grateful for Aaron’s interjection. Like his voice broke them out of a spell, Max and Elody pull away. Max laughs like he isn’t sure what came over him, her lipstick shining around his mouth. She grins, wiping a finger across her bottom lip, eyes on fire.

Elody’s gaze slides from Max to Zane. “Damn, babe. Are you that much of a prude? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

For once, Elody isn’t being dramatic. Zane’s pale, almost green, and there’s this distant look in his eyes. He reaches for the full wine bottle and takes a sip, and then another. He swallows. Swallows again.

“Zane?” Graham asks.

The bottle slips out of his hand, gurgling onto the floor.

“Oh my god.” The dazed look falls from Max’s face. “Are you—?”

Zane claws at his throat, wheezing.

“Peanuts.” Graham’s eyes get big. “He’s allergic to peanuts. Did anyone…”

“There shouldn’t be any in the house,” I say. “Tilly said so, didn’t she?”

But even as it comes out of my mouth, I’m not sure. I remember Tilly saying everyone’s dietary restrictions had been considered, but I don’t know if she said there weren’t any peanuts in the house. Zane gasps, falling onto his side.

“Do you have an EpiPen?” Corinne asks him.

Graham jumps up. “It’s in his bag.”

“Go,” Corinne orders.

Graham runs for the stairs, almost slipping as he goes.

I shake my head, like it might reset my brain, make it find the logic. “But Zane didn’t even eat anything. Where would he have…”

And then my eyes land on the wine bottle. Logan’s bottle. Her gaze locks on mine, and the look in her eyes is pure shock, terror.

“I didn’t … I don’t know how he…”

“It’s not there.” Graham calls down from the second floor, running out and gripping the balcony railing. “It’s normally in his front backpack pocket, but it’s not there.”

Zane’s face is swollen, his throat rattling, and his lips look blue. Oh my god, his lips are blue.

“Did you look everywhere?” Corinne asks.

“It’s not there!” Graham screams.

This can’t be happening. Tilly said …

The first-aid kit. I jump to my feet and run, throwing the closet door open. There are cleaning supplies, some old raincoats, and—there, on the top shelf. A plastic red box. I reach up and grab it, throwing it open. There’s an EpiPen box inside. I could cry with relief. I drop the first-aid kit and open the box, reaching for—nothing. I turn the box over and look inside. It’s empty.

“Kira?” Corinne calls. “Is there an EpiPen in there?”

I turn, feeling like I’m moving through water. Zane is lying on his back now, still. Way too still.

“He’s not breathing,” Logan says. “Oh my god, he’s not…”

Corinne bends down and starts CPR. She goes through the motions, steady and sure, and time is an island. We’re hovering in the middle of the sea, watching, waiting, I don’t know for how long—maybe two minutes, maybe twenty.

I still don’t know how long it’s been when Corinne sits up. Shakes her head.

Gone.

Zane is gone.

For the second time today, the person we voted for is dead.

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.