34. Asher

34

ASHER

M y house is quieter than usual, a rarity in a place shared by four guys, let alone hockey players. There’s still some clutter, like empty Gatorade bottles and textbooks we need for our classes, which shows that there are college students on the premises. However, the constant noise that is around is absent. The atmosphere feels different, but I could be projecting because no one is talking. The only sound in the room is the hockey game on TV.

I glance around at my teammates. My best friend, Levi, is lounging on one couch, his legs kicked up on the coffee table, focused on the television in front of him. Blaise is sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring at his phone, but he looks up at the game every once in a while to check on the score. Knox is leaning back with his arms crossed, and while his eyes are on the screen, I’m not sure how much he’s paying attention to it. Wilder is sprawled across the other couch with the remote in his hand, and I can’t help but wonder if he’s about to piss everyone off by switching the channel for a joke.

Then there’s me, who has been sitting around plotting about this moment for days. Isla and I have talked about it many times, and I need the support of my brothers before I talk to Coach.

I wait until the game goes to commercial before I clear my throat. All eyes are on me.“Guys, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Levi sits up straighter, Blaise sets his phone down, and Wilder even stops fiddling with the remote. He does mute the television before turning toward me. Knox is the only one who doesn’t move, his eyes still fixed on the TV screen. But I know he’s listening. He always is.

“Isla and I... are dating. Again.”

The silence stretches on for a moment before Wilder speaks.“In the wise words of Jade, no shit.”He shares a look with Blaise before he points at Knox and says,“And you owe me fifty dollars.”

Wait, they’d bet on Isla and I getting back together?

The first one to laugh is Levi.“You didn’t actually think we didn’t know? Come on, dude.”

I blink, not sure how to take their reactions.“You... you all knew?”

Blaise shakes his head and sighs.“Bennett, man, you weren’t subtle. The way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching? Dead giveaway.”

I’m a fucking idiot, and the amused looks on my teammates’ faces confirm that fact. My face is growing warmer as I try to keep cool. I thought Isla and I were being discreet, but clearly, that is a lie. It’s like they’ve all been waiting for me to catch up to what they already knew. The realization makes me want to laugh at myself but also cringe because that is what this situation has become.

Cringe.

Wilder clears his throat and snaps me back to what’s happening in front of me versus the internal dialogue happening in my head.“Plus, that’s not even mentioning how you were ready to kill Knox over his teasing. It was a matter of when, not if.”

I roll my eyes.“That was, what, weeks ago at this point? Come on now.”

“So? We still knew then,”Knox says, finally deciding to join in on the conversation.“But now you have to think about what Coach is going to do when he finds out.”

Well, that stops us all dead in our tracks as all eyes turn to him. He seems surprised by our reaction.“What? I’m just saying,”he continues just before he takes a deep breath,“when Coach finds out, it might not be pretty. You know how he is—he’s not just Isla’s dad. He’s the guy that controls your ice time. Just… make sure you’re ready for that conversation.”

I know he’s right, but I’ve been down this road before.“I know,”I say.“Believe me, I’ve thought about it. A lot.”

Levi leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.“How are you going to approach this?”

I run a hand through my hair and then shrug. “I don’t know,”I admit.“Well, I know I have to tell him. Well, Isla and I have to tell him. But…”

“But you’re scared shitless,”Wilder finishes for me.

He isn’t wrong. I don’t say a word because I know they all get it. They understand what this could mean—not just for me, but for all of us, especially as a team.

“Coach is tough, but he’s not totally unreasonable,”Blaise says.“If you’re honest with him, if you make him see what Isla means to you…”

Sure, but the most significant factor in all of this is the fact that one of his daughters is involved. We all know there are no guarantees here because of that.

Hockey is everything to me and has been everything to me for years. And with this being my senior year, I’m closing in on the goals that I want to achieve and the milestones I want to hit. The thought of losing it—losing everything I’ve worked for—because of how much I love Isla… it’s almost too much to handle. But then I think of her. Of her smile, her laugh, the way she looks at me like I could be better than I am. And I know that, without a doubt, she’s worth it. Worth every risk and every fight to make all of this right in the end.

“I’m not giving her up,”I say as I look each of my teammates in the eye.“No matter what happens, no matter what Coach does… I’m not letting her go. Not again.”

The guys exchange glances, talking without saying a word to each other. Then Levi stands up and holds out his hand to me to give a man hug.“I think I can speak for everyone here and say that we’ll always have your back. No matter what.”

The others nod, even Knox. I can’t stop the feeling that swells in my chest. I’m so grateful to have these guys in my life. We’re more than a team. We are a family.

Wilder holds the remote up and un-mutes the TV.“Now that you’ve gotten that off your chest, I want to get back to the game.”

Typical.

Everyone turns their attention back to watching the game more enthusiastically than before I made my announcement. I try to focus on what’s going on, but my mind is still stuck on our conversation. Although it’s something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, having Knox warn me hit a different chord.

A few minutes later, the period ends, and the guys start to stretch. I catch Knox’s eye, and he tilts his head toward the hallway. We both get up, and he follows me into the kitchen, where I lean against the counter.

I cross my arms over my chest and brace myself for what he’s going to say.“What’s up?”

Knox shifts his weight from one foot to the next before he rests his body against the far wall.“Look, man… first, I want to say that even with our issues this year, I still want what’s best for you. With that being said, I just wanted to make sure you really get what you’re risking here. I know you love Isla and how painful it was for you when you broke up with her years ago. But are you sure this is the road you want to go down again?”

“Yeah, I know. Knox, I’ve thought about it a lot, and I’m serious about her. This isn’t just some spur-of-the-moment thing I’m diving into headfirst without thinking about. She’s it for me, and I’m ready to face whatever comes along with that.”

He shakes his head, his eyes narrowing a little.“I know you think you are. But it’s not just about you. It’s about her, the team—hell, even Coach. If this blows up in your face, it can fuck up things for a lot of people. We need you on the ice, not sitting on the bench or off the team.”

I study him for a second because I’m reading between the lines, or his words, for that matter.“This is about more than just me and Isla, isn’t it? Because you know this is my senior year, and once the season’s over, he won’t be my coach anymore. Isla is forever, man.”

Knox sighs and looks away for a moment before meeting my eyes again.“Back in high school, I was with someone. It got complicated, and it screwed everything up—my game, my head, the team. It got to me, and it almost cost me my future. I don’t want that for you.”

I’m surprised. Knox isn’t the type to open up about this kind of stuff or share much of his life outside of the basics. He hides behind sarcasm, and I don’t blame him, but this feels like a new chapter I’m being let in on.

“Is that why you don’t do serious relationships?”I ask.

He hesitates for a moment. “Yeah. I guess so. I learned the hard way that getting too close can fuck everything up. And I just… I don’t want to go through that again.”

The gravity of his confession hangs in the air as I try to wrap my head around it. I’m floored because he’s opened up to me. Does anyone else on the team know about this? There’s a new level of trust there that I never expected, especially given what we’ve been through with our relationship.

I push off the counter and take a step toward him.“Thank you for telling me. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”

Knox shrugs, trying to play it off, but I can see it’s all a facade.“Yeah, well. I just don’t want you making the same mistakes I did.”

“I hear you, and I promise, I’m going into this with my eyes wide open. Isla and I are not rushing into anything, given our history. She and I know what’s at stake.”

He searches my face for a long moment before he says,“Alright. I’ve said my peace, and I hope everything works out for the best.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.”

Knox walks up to me and places a hand on my shoulder.“Anytime, Bennett. Let’s get back in there before Wilder starts placing bets on what we’re talking about.”

I chuckle because there’s a good chance that is next on Wilder’s to-do list. We walk back into the living room, and sure enough, Wilder’s attention is on us, and the smirk tells me everything I need to know before he says a word.“So, what was that all about?”

I roll my eyes and plop down on the couch.“It was nothing important.”It’s obviously a lie, but I hope it’s enough to dissuade him from prying further.

Levi jumps in before Wilder can respond.“Not everything’s got to be your business, anyway.”

“Fair enough, fair enough,”Wilder concludes, but the smile doesn’t leave his face.

Levi shoots me a knowing look, and I nod in silent thanks. I appreciate that he jumped in to deflect because I already have enough shit on my mind. The conversation shifts back to the game on television, and things start to feel almost normal again.

Almost.