23. Asher

23

ASHER

A lthough it’s early in the morning, I have a smile on my face. Sure, I’m still tired, but I also feel rejuvenated. Not only did Isla agree to spend more time with me, but I also had a wonderful dream last night, and she was starring in the film. I would have been pissed if my alarm had gone off during it.

I check the time before getting out of bed. Coach will have my head if I’m late to practice. Plus, I can’t tell him the reason I’m late is because I’m dreaming about banging his daughter.

But it’s more than that.

Do I want to have sex with Isla? Yes, without a doubt, but it’s so much more than that. I want to wake up next to her every morning, be the reason she smiles, support her dreams, and be her rock when life slaps her in the face. I caused one of those challenges she experienced, and I will never get over the look that appeared on her face when I told her I was done. However, I meant it when I told her I would prove she could trust me again.

With a heavy sigh, I throw on clothes for practice and grab my hockey bag. As I walk down the stairs, I hear my roommates getting ready, but I don’t bother waiting for them because I want to be alone.

The drive to the rink is unremarkable, and when I get there, I notice that Coach Johnson and Levi are here before me. Levi didn’t mention coming in early, so I’m curious about what that is all about. The locker room is quiet because most of the guys haven’t arrived yet, but I see Levi standing there, half-dressed in his gear.

“Hey, man, you’re early,”I say as I drop my bag on the bench.

“I could say the same for you.”

I shrug because he’s not wrong.“Everything good?”

“Couldn’t sleep. I figured I might as well come in and get some extra shots in.”

“Hailey wasn’t there to help knock you out?”

Levi chuckles. “She pulled an all-nighter last night to finish a paper. She was still awake when I left my place to come here.”

“I know the feeling, man. Last night wasn’t too bad, but my sleep has been screwed for a while because my mind’s been all over the place.”

Levi raises an eyebrow, and I already know where this is going.“Does this have anything to do with a certain blonde photographer we both know?”

I’m not shocked that he picked up on it.“Is it that obvious?”

“Only to those who know you well,”Levi says, sitting on the bench to lace up his skates.“Want to talk about it?”

I hesitate for a moment because I don’t know if I’m ready to unleash my thoughts about what happened the night of the team bonding event. Or how that moment has lived rent-free in my mind ever since. I check the time and realize that our teammates will be coming in at any minute, so it makes sense not to discuss this here. Plus, if Coach or anyone else on staff hears me talking about Isla, I’m screwed.

“Not now, man. The guys will be here soon, and I don’t want anyone to overhear. Especially not Coach.”

“Got it. But hey, if you need to talk later, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.”I clap him on the shoulder before starting to gear up for practice.

As predicted, the locker room soon fills up as everyone tries to make sure they are on time for practice. I keep my head down, focusing on suiting up and trying to push thoughts of Isla from my mind. I need to focus.

But even though I’m happier than I’ve been in days, I know I’m off my A-game. My passes are sloppy, and my shots are wide of the net. Coach blows the whistle, his eyes narrowing as he watches me fuck up another play.

“Bennett! Get your head out of your ass and focus!”he barks.

I grit my teeth, frustrated with myself because I can’t stop thinking about his daughter’s ass.“Yes, Coach.”

My gaze lands on Knox, who I figured would have a smirk on his lips, but his face is blank. I try to shake off Coach’s words, but my mind keeps drifting back to Isla. However, I get it together enough that I don’t experience the wrath of Coach anymore during practice.

As I’m unlacing my skates in the locker room after practice, Levi plops down beside me on the bench.“Okay, spill. What happened with Isla?”

I glance around to make sure no one’s within earshot before turning to face him. I lean forward to whisper in his ear.“Our relationship, or whatever this is, is so chaotic that she goes from hating me one minute to wanting me to fuck her the next.” I don’t elaborate because I know I don’t need to.

Levi’s eyes widen. “Whoa. We’ve had some wild moments, but this might top it.”

“It’s like whiplash, but I’m not going to lie and say that the moments where things are great haven’t been fantastic. Everything I’ve ever wanted and more.” I run a hand through my sweat-dampened hair. “But then she pulls away, and then she’s back. And I know it’s because we’re both working on our own stuff.”

“Which we all are, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t rough.”

“Tell me about it. I can’t stop thinking about her, but I don’t want to push too hard and scare her off for good. Plus, we’re still filming content, so we have to be around each other.”

“I hear you, and letting her take the lead so you can figure out where her headspace is and supporting her that way is the right way to go. Let her sort through her feelings without feeling pressured.”

“But what if she decides she doesn’t want anything to do with me?” I can’t help but sound desperate because I am.

Levi rubs a towel over his face before looking at me again. “It’s a risk, yeah. But you’ve got to trust that if it’s meant to be, giving her space won’t change that. Sometimes, you have to step back and let things unfold naturally.”

I pull off my pads and jersey, tossing them into my locker. “I know you’re right, but it’s difficult, especially when I have to see her often.”

Levi’s about to respond when Wilder walks over to us, already dressed and ready to head out. He’s got a grin plastered on his face, completely oblivious to the conversation Levi and I are having. “Are you guys planning on staying here all day, or what? Coach is gonna start wondering why you’re holed up in the locker room.”

Levi and I exchange a quick look, realizing we’ve been deep in conversation longer than we thought. Shit, had that much time passed? The last thing I need is for Coach to catch on to anything related to this.

“Yeah, I was just talking to Levi about something that I need to get done,”I respond without hesitation. I’m proud of myself for thinking of a vague comment on the fly like that.

Levi gives me a look as he picks up what I’m putting down.Don’t say shit.“Right, that thing… Well, I’m here to help if you need it.”

“Appreciate it.”

Wilder’s eyes jump from me to Levi and back to me before he raises an eyebrow.“Alright, just don’t take too long. Blaise and I are grabbing breakfast. You coming?”

“Yeah, I just need to shower first. I’ll meet you guys there.”I can guess which dining hall they’ll eat at since they often go to it for breakfast.

Wilder shrugs, tossing his gear into his bag.“Cool. See you soon.”

As Wilder heads out, I turn to Levi.“I’m going to hit the showers.”

“Alright, dude. I’ll see you later.”

I grab my towel and head toward the showers. What should be a relaxing shower is anything but because I know that Levi’s right. I need to give her space and let her sort through her feelings without me hovering over her. But the thought of losing her again fucking sucks.

I finish my shower and get dressed. I allow myself to have this one shitty practice, but I can’t let this affect my game and, in return, affect my teammates. They’re counting on me to be focused and to be there to help lead them to victory.

When I walk into the dining hall about fifteen minutes later, I spot Wilder and Blaise seated at their usual table. I grab a tray of food and join them, grunting a greeting.

“About time,”Wilder says just before he stuffs his face with a mouthful of eggs.“We were starting to think you’d drowned in the shower.”

I roll my eyes, stabbing at my food.“Yeah, yeah. I got into the showers late. It’s fine.”

Blaise raises an eyebrow at me as I start shoveling food into my mouth.“You good? You seemed a bit off at practice today.”

“Just didn’t sleep well last night. It’s nothing. Need to finish so many assignments.”

“Fucking tell me about it,”Wilder mumbles.

I look up, and I swear he hasn’t taken a second to breathe the way he’s inhaling his food.

“Speaking of finishing things, when are you and Knox going to cut the bullshit?”he asks bluntly.

I glance at Blaise, who’s stirring his coffee slowly, but his eyes are on me, waiting for my response. I let out a deep breath.“What?”

Wilder is not buying it.“Cut the crap. You can’t keep pretending there’s not something going on between you two. It’s like walking on eggshells at practice sometimes.”

Blaise nods as he sets his coffee cup down.“He’s right. The tension’s bleeding into everything, including how we function in our house. You and Knox need to figure out how to work this out before it affects our games.”

I toss my fork down, and it lands on my plate with a loud clack. Thankfully, the dining hall is loud enough that no one around us seems to notice.“It’s not that simple. Knox… I’m not even sure why he keeps trying to press my buttons. And I’m allowed to defend myself.”

Wilder’s expression is serious for once.“Look, I get it. But we are all on the same team, fighting for the same goal. We need to be united, or it’s gonna screw us all over. You don’t have to be best friends, but you need to coexist.”

Once again, I’m willing to admit that my teammates are right. I promised to figure it out, but other shit has come up, and I pushed it to the back burner. None of this is fair to the rest of the team. I know Wilder and Blaise are right. Whatever this is with Knox, it’s not just affecting me, it’s affecting the entire team. And that’s not fair to any of them. They shouldn’t have to deal with the fallout of whatever the hell is going on between us.

This is something else that I need to own up to. “I get it, and I’ll figure it out. I’ll talk to Knox.”

Blaise nods, a small smile on his lips.“Good. That’s all we’re asking. We’re a team, and we need to act like it. Especially as we get deeper into the season.”

“Speaking of the team,”Wilder chimes in, his mouth finally empty of food,“we should have a game night or something at our house. Maybe we can play video games, because I’m ready to kick your asses in every single one.”

This is a good idea, but I should focus on working things out with Knox. However, I choose to concentrate on Wilder’s cocky declaration for the sake of conversation.“You really think you can beat me at COD? In your dreams, maybe.”

Wilder leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face.“Bring it on, Bennett.”

Blaise chuckles, picking up his coffee again.“I’ll believe it when I see it. You two are both so full of shit.”

This feels good; it feels normal. It shifts my attention from the issues I have with Isla and Knox to the background, which is what I need for the time being. The trash talk continues as we finish our breakfast. It’s a welcome distraction, but before we leave the table, I pull out my phone to send a text to Knox.

It’s time to get this over with.

Me: We need to talk. Let me know when you’re available.

There. I’ve made the first move to squash whatever this beef is. Now, it’s up to him to respond in kind.