1. Isla

1

ISLA

THREE YEARS AGO

W e’re going to get into so much fucking trouble.

It’s the only thought going through my head as I watch my best friend, Selene, check out her reflection in the mirror. She appears incredibly confident, as if this is her moment, while I wonder if I’m on the verge of throwing up. I tug at the hem of my crop top as if that will make the fabric grow longer. I should be vibing along to the playlist that Selene created for us to get ready, but I can’t. I swear my stomach is twisting up like a pretzel, leading me to whisper, “I don’t know about this. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It’s going to be fine for the fifty-millionth time,” Selene says with a dramatic sigh that almost makes me want to roll my eyes. “You are always worrying. We’re going to have the best time ever. Just trust me.”

I force my hands to land in my lap, but before I can blink, my fingers fidget with my blonde hair, picking at my ends nervously. There is much more at stake for me than for her.

I glance around Selene’s bedroom, trying to distract myself. I take in the delicate fairy lights strung along the walls. They cast a warm, calming glow over her room, contrasting sharply with the unease growing inside me.

Or it could be that I’m starting to get what I know are signs that my period is coming. After complaining to my doctors over the years about my irregular periods and painful cramps, I can’t help but feel frustrated that there’s still no clear answer as to why. I just have to deal with this, apparently, even though sometimes it leaves me curled up in a ball, unable to do anything but cry.

Instead of that, I choose to focus on the art and pictures on her wall, many of them taken by me. Several of them feature both of us, smiling and carefree. Eventually, my eyes land on the mirror she is standing in front of once more.

Although I haven’t uttered another word, Selene stares at me through the mirror, probably sensing the doubt that is still within me.

“Relax,” Selene says, turning to face me. Her dark eyes lock with mine. “We’re going to blend right in. No one will even know we’re still in high school.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I mutter, even though that’s definitely part of it. Getting caught underage at a college party would be bad enough. But if word got back to my dad that his daughter was there, he would ground me until graduation. And if I’m being honest with myself, that’s if I’m lucky.

“Then what?” Selene crosses her arms, her perfectly arched brow raised in question. “What’s up?”

“It’s just... if we get caught, you know shit is going to hit the fan. And with my dad being the hockey coach and all...” I trail off, not wanting to voice the rest of my fears aloud.

It will be an embarrassment to him. How could he keep the hockey team in line when his underage child was partying and drinking? His reputation will take a hit. I’ll prove I’m not the perfect, responsible daughter he thinks I am. The weight of those expectations feels heavier than ever.

Selene’s expression softens, and she sits beside me on her bed, bumping my shoulder with hers. “Hey. I get it, okay? But, Isla, we aren’t going to get caught. I promise.”

I chew my bottom lip as I consider her words. Selene is right—we’ve been planning on doing something like this for well over a year before the opportunity presented itself through my older sister, Grace. If we’re careful, we can pull it off and return to her bedroom before her parents are any wiser.

I think about the lie I told my parents. The words easily fell from my lips. I told them the only thing Selene and I would do tonight was stay at her place and watch movies. Yet here I am, sitting on her bed, waiting for her to finish so we can sneak out.

With a big, deep breath, I push the guilt that I’m feeling down to the pits of my stomach. It’s just one night, I tell myself. One night of freedom before senior year starts and the pressure of everything that comes along with that comes crashing down.

“Fine,” I say, finally meeting Selene’s gaze. “Everything is going to be fine.” I don’t believe those words, but she doesn’t need to know that.

A grin spreads across her face as she grabs my hand and stands up, pulling me with her. “Yes! We are going to have so much fun tonight,” she says as she squeezes my hand.

I force a smile, trying to match her enthusiasm as we grab our purses. I run through a mental checklist to ensure I have everything I need for the night. Selene glances at me before she turns and leaves the room, giving me two choices: follow her or throw myself back down on her bed and toss the covers over my body.

I choose the former.

“Wait, I have another idea,” she says before walking over to her closet. She rummages around in her closet for a moment before emerging with a triumphant grin, clutching a large bottle of vodka in her hand.

“I swiped this from the liquor cabinet!” she announces. “This will help you loosen up.”

My stomach drops because it might have the opposite effect. “Um, I don’t know…” my voice trails off.

“Oh, come on, don’t be lame,” Selene says, rolling her eyes. “It’s just one shot.”

I bite the corner of my lip. The guilt is creeping up again. Then again, it’s not like it went anywhere. My best friend looks at me like she’s daring me to back down.

“Okay, fine. A shot won’t kill me,” I say, hoping I don’t end up regretting those words later.

Selene holds out the bottle for me. “I forgot to bring up cups for us to drink out of… or any chasers. Just take a swig from the bottle.”

How sanitary of her.

I eye the bottle warily as the clear liquid gently sloshes inside. This is another bad idea to add to the tally of bad ideas for the night.

“Well, let’s fucking chug this thing,” I say with a false sense of bravado. I take the bottle from her and raise it to my lips. The smell makes me wince. Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a quick swig, trying not to taste it.

The vodka sears a fiery trail down my throat, and I burst into a fit of coughing. Selene laughs and hits me on the back.

“Wow, that stuff is strong,” I rasp out, my eyes watering. I pass her back the bottle while shaking my head. It takes a couple of seconds for me to open my eyes, but I witness her take a long pull without flinching.

“Alright, it’s go time!” she announces, tucking the vodka back into her closet. Taking my hand, she leads me out of her room and into the hallway. My head is already feeling fuzzy from the liquor.

Selene and I tiptoe down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. The coolness of the hardwood floor beneath my bare feet sends a slight shiver shooting through my body. I’m hyperaware of every tiny creak and groan her house makes. Selene’s parents announced they were heading to bed about two hours ago, so we are assuming they are fast asleep. Even though their bedroom door is closed at the end of the hall, my heart still races at the thought of it swinging open and us getting caught.

We make it to the bottom of the stairs, and I sigh. Step one is complete.

Selene slips on her sneakers first and heads for the front door. A loud bang comes from upstairs as I reach for my shoes. We both freeze, eyes wide as we stare at each other in the dim light shining in the window from the streetlamp outside.

“What was that?” I whisper, my mind unable to figure out which emotion to feel.

Selene replies, “I’m not sure. Maybe something fell over in my room.”

My heart is pounding so loud I swear it will wake up the entire neighborhood. I strain my ears, listening for other sounds or indications that Selene’s parents are awake. But the house remains still and quiet.

“Let’s just get out of here,” I mutter, grabbing my sneakers and jamming my feet into them. The sooner we leave, the better. This isn’t what I signed up for.

Selene nods in agreement, carefully unlocks the door, and turns the doorknob. The door opens with a soft click that sounds much louder than it should. We both cringe as we stand there, almost as still as statues, but no other noises follow.

I step outside into the warm summer air, feeling slightly relieved. Selene gently closes the door behind us, and we exchange a look. Phase two is complete. Now we just have to get to the party without anything else happening.

“See, I told you it would be fine,” Selene whispers with a grin as we make our way down the porch steps.

“But we haven’t gotten there yet,” I remind her, glancing over my shoulder at her house. When she walks away, creating distance between us, I move because I don’t want to be left behind.

The streets are relatively quiet as we walk, lit only by the occasional streetlamp. I keep expecting to see a light flick on in one of the houses we pass or to find someone peeking out their window and have them see us. But the neighborhood remains dark, and the only thing that surrounds us is the sound of nature in the summer.

“How much further?” I ask after a minute of silence.

“Just a couple more blocks,” Selene replies.

Envy rises in my mind as she pulls out her phone, most likely to confirm the address. Judging by how she looks, she’s completely at ease, while I’m convinced I’m about to have a heart attack because of panic surging through my body.

“Didn’t Grace mention that the party is at some dude named Tyler’s house?”

I nod as she talks about the conversation we overheard my sister having, but I’m only half-listening because I’m scanning our surroundings. We’re getting closer to Crestwood University’s campus now. I can hear the distant thump of bass growing louder as we cross another street and get closer to a set of homes that I assume are off-campus housing. It would make sense, given that Crestwood’s semester hasn’t started yet. I don’t think students are allowed into the dorms yet unless they have special permission. My stomach twists into another knot. This is really happening. We’re about to crash a college party.