Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

BAILEY

I t’s been over a month since I let Tanner back into my bed. I’m not sure I realized just how much I needed him until I had him again. He’s with me every single night, loving me, giving me anything and everything I need. It’s been breathing life back into me, making me feel whole in a way I haven’t in nearly a year.

The intimacy between us grows every single day. Even Kam hasn’t been on my case about it. She sees how much I need him and how much my closeness to him has helped me.

On the recovery front, I feel like I’m getting stronger every day. I’m finally able to be more independent. We had a bonfire to burn that damn shower chair. I never want to see one of those again.

My friends have all been amazing. I think they must have some sort of schedule because the house is always full of people and laughter.

Even though my workouts are getting more strenuous and lasting longer, I don’t get as tired as I used to. My fingers are working, enabling me to get back into writing. I initially resented Tanner for pushing me on that front, but writing in the afternoons has become therapeutic for me. One book is just about done, and I’ve come up with a new concept for my second. Tanner said he knows a few publishers and will happily contact them on my behalf.

Kam mentioned us moving back into our apartment. I know we need to have this conversation with Tanner. He’ll be more than happy to get rid of Kamryn, but I don’t think he’ll warm to the idea of me leaving. The truth is, I don’t want to leave this house. My mind has been swirling with thoughts of my future maybe not looking exactly like I always thought it would. Do I need marriage? Do I need children of my own when Harper fills me with so much joy?

With my physical strength and abilities gradually coming back to me, I’m able to do some of the smaller things that bring me happiness, like getting up early and making breakfast for Harper every morning. I can’t believe how much I missed cooking for her. I’ve also been making dinner for everyone at night. It’s equally as therapeutic for me as anything else I do. I love our big group meals so much. I feel like we’re back to a general place of happiness as opposed to feelings of sadness over the accident.

It’s a Saturday morning. I’m at the stove in Tanner’s huge T-shirt and my shorts, making a big batch of pancakes for our full house. Tanner is behind me in only flannel pajama pants, unable to keep his hands off me. That’s something that he’s become more liberal with as the weeks have gone on. Except in front of Harper, he’s always touching me and no longer cares who’s around. I can only hope no one realized what he was doing to me under the blanket while we all watched a movie the other night. I drew blood on the inside of my cheek as I bit it, trying to keep quiet through my orgasm. The crazy man then sat there subtly sucking on his fingers. All it served to do was turn me on again. I can’t seem to get enough of him. I don’t think I’ll ever have my fill.

I slap his hand as it slips up my shirt to grab my braless boob. “Stop distracting me. Don’t you want breakfast? ”

In his sexy, gravelly morning voice, he responds, “I already had breakfast. It was delicious.”

I smile. “Not that , you sex maniac.” I reach back and make a small grab for his very hard cock. “You better take care of this before anyone else wakes up.”

He thrusts it onto my ass, kisses my neck, and mumbles into it, “Why don’t you take care of it?”

I giggle. “I already did.”

Suddenly I see Fallon’s legs appear, walking down the stairs. I try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. Maybe he hasn’t seen her yet.

Nope, it’s obvious. He just doesn’t care.

She arrives at the bottom of the steps and stops short when she sees us. “Umm, sorry.” She fidgets a bit. “Ooh, this is awkward, but it’s a good opening for me to tell you that I’m moving back to my house tomorrow.”

Tanner doesn’t make any attempt to remove his body, currently glued to mine, but looks up. “Do you think it’s time?”

She nods. “Bailey is more than ready for outpatient treatment. She’s doing great. I’m not going back to work for another two weeks. I’ll come by in the mornings for physical therapy until then.”

I wish he wasn’t groping me in front of her. It feels disrespectful. I elbow him away a little to create some space.

He softly whispers, “I like when you’re rough with me.”

I try to ignore the sex machine attached to me and look at Fallon. “I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done. You gave up your life for me over the past three months. I’m so appreciative of you and know I wouldn’t have come as far as I have if it wasn’t for you.”

She smiles. “Tanner didn’t really give me a choice in the matter, but it was honestly my pleasure. You’re a medical marvel at how quickly you’ve recovered. I’ve never had a patient work this hard. It’s not surprising that you’re an accomplished professional athlete. ”

“I feel like a normal person now, but I still have a long way to go to get back into game shape. I can’t grip the bat quite right.” I make a show of my reduced grip strength. The doctors had mentioned to me that minor things might take longer or might never return. My ability to grip smaller items tightly seems to be one of those things.

I’ve been in that batting cage every afternoon trying to get my swing back. It’s not even close yet. The bat keeps flying out of my hands.

“Give it time. You’re still healing. Your body is working on reconnecting everything. Playing any sport will be tough for a little while longer, but if you keep up with your therapy, I truly believe you can get there. Your being in such fantastic shape beforehand was certainly a contributing factor to your accelerated recovery time.”

“Speaking of playing sports, guess who’s coming over today for a little one-on-one rehab on the basketball court?”

Fallon’s face lights up. “Sulley?”

Sulley moved back to her hometown during the off-season but did visit once shortly after my accident. She checks in with me all the time though. She’s very sweet.

Fallon fangirls over my friendship with Sulley and is dying to get on the basketball court with her.

I nod. “Yep, I told her she was going to have some major competition in Fallon Montgomery.”

“Eek. I’m so excited.” She jokingly narrows her eyes at me. “I’m still going to work you hard this morning. You’re not getting out of that.”

I smile. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

We hear the familiar footsteps of Harper running down the stairs. She’s surprisingly loud for a little kid. Tanner backs away from me just before she comes into sight.

Her eyes light up. “Pancakes?”

I nod. “Yep.”

“Pineapples in mine, please. ”

“As you wish. You’re going to turn into a pineapple.”

“I want to be like you and Kam. You two always eat pineapples.”

Tanner smirks. “Yep, Bailey sure does eat a lot of pineapples.”

I ignore the innuendo and ask Harper, “Did you go to the bathroom?”

“Yes. Dad definitely won’t know the word today.”

Tanner grumbles, “It’s Daddy, not Dad, and you haven’t stumped me yet, bug.”

Harper rubs her hands together and raises an eyebrow. “Taradiddle.”

Fallon, Harper, and I all turn to Tanner. His face falls. Oh my god. He doesn’t know.

Fallon and I look at each other wide-eyed. Holy. Shit.

Realization hits, and Harper’s face breaks out into the biggest grin I’ve ever seen.

Kam walks in and winks at Harper. I think she may have had something to do with this word.

She pops a pineapple slice into her mouth. “Looks like you stumped him, Harper. Tell your ignoramus father what it means. Better yet, use it in a sentence.”

Harper crosses her arms. “When someone says Daddy knows every word in the dictionary, that’s a bit of a taradiddle.”

Kam nods emphatically. “Truth.”

Two hours later, we’re in the gym where Fallon has been kicking my ass. Kam had plans this morning. It’s rare she misses a session. It actually makes me feel good, like she thinks I’m progressing and don’t need constant support from her anymore.

I’m doing a few free weight drills when I look at Fallon. “I’m really sorry about Tanner being so handsy with me in front of you. I’ve told him to stop, but he doesn’t listen.”

She shrugs. “You two should act how you want in your house. I’m the outsider now.”

“It’s not my house, and you’re never an outsider here. You belong here more than I do.”

She exhales heavily. “He’s different with you than he was with me. He’s a…better partner.”

“Does it bother you?”

Her lips twist a bit. “I’m not going to lie and tell you that I don’t have moments of hurt, because I do, but it’s not because I still want him or anything along those lines. I’m under no illusion whatsoever that I’ll be getting back together with Tanner, whether you’re in the picture or not. I irrevocably broke our marriage. It’s on me. Frankly, I’m happy to see him this way. I was afraid that I broke him in my shame spiral.”

“He doesn’t blame you for anything.”

She tilts her head to the side. “What has he shared with you about the end of our marriage?”

“He told me that you were unfaithful one night, but that he was an absentee husband and father leading up to it. He feels he’s equally, if not more, to blame for the destruction of your marriage.”

Tears fill her eyes. “He’s always been so classy about it.” She shakes her head. “I don’t deserve it.”

I start to defend her, but she holds up her hands.

“He’s spent the past six years against marriage and more kids because of my actions. That’s very clear to me. It’s a burden I’ve carried for what feels like forever.”

“Fallon, you had a moment of weakness with a stranger. Stop beating yourself up about it.”

She takes a few calming breaths. “Have you heard the name David Schumaker?”

I shake my head. I haven’t.

“He was Tanner’s best friend. They were close since their freshman year of college, and they originally moved to New York together. He was the best man at our wedding. He always had a bit of a thing for me, but I laughed it off as harmless flirting. Tanner wasn’t the jealous type over me, and he, too, thought it was innocent.” She pinches her lips together, overcome with emotion before continuing. “I can’t begin to express my feelings of loneliness at the time. I lived in a city with no family and very few friends of my own. After grad school, all my friends moved away from New York. My husband was never around. One night, Tanner and I were supposed to go out to dinner. I was so excited. I planned a whole fun evening and even bought a new dress. I had a babysitter and was standing by the door ready for him to come home and pick me up. He texted that he was caught up and needed to cancel. That was it. A text. At the time we were supposed to be leaving. I was so embarrassed in front of the babysitter that I pretended like he was downstairs waiting, and I left. I took a cab to a place we had been to a million times. Here I was, out at a bar, drowning my sorrows over the state of my marriage, and in walked David. He sat with me and let me cry as he fed me drink after drink. He kept saying things along the lines of he’s never realized what he has . I would never treat a woman like you that way. You’re one in a million, Fallon. Before I knew it, we were in an alley around the corner where I let him fuck me against a brick wall.” Her eyes drift away as tears leak from them. She whispers, “I cried the whole time.”

I pull her into my arms. “Oh, Fallon. It sounds like you were forced into it.”

She shakes her head on my shoulder. “No, I knew what I was doing. Was I trashed? Yes, but part of me wanted to hurt Tanner as much as he hurt me. I don’t blame David. Is he a piece of shit for doing that to his best friend? Absolutely. Am I equally a piece of shit for doing that to my husband? One hundred percent.”

She pulls away and wipes her eyes. “I came home, and he was reading some contracts in bed. He didn’t ask me where I was. He didn’t apologize for missing dinner. He didn’t even look at me. Here I was, doing something terrible to our marriage and my husband didn’t care enough to stop reading his damn contracts. It made me snap. I’ve never felt more unseen. I first got into the shower and physically scrubbed my body clean until it was red and raw. Then I walked out and scrubbed my conscience clean. I told him what had happened. I think I wanted him to yell and scream at me, to show that he cared, but he didn’t. He calmly got up, got dressed, and went to David’s to beat the shit out of him.” She lets out a laugh. “I think he was more impacted by the end of his friendship than he was by the end of our marriage.”

“I’m so sorry, Fallon. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

She gives me an incredulous look. “Me? You feel sorry for me ? I was in the wrong. He was the victim.”

I shake my head. “I think you were both in the wrong, and you were both victims. Neither of you are bad people. It was an unfortunate situation. Maybe the marriage didn’t work out, but you got Harper out of it. Something wonderful came from it. You shouldn’t regret anything.”

She wipes her eyes. “Christ, you’re like a damn ray of sunshine. Is there any situation where you can’t find the positive?”

I giggle. “I haven’t been feeling very sunshiny and positive the past few months.”

“You’ve handled it with grace. We’re all entitled to our moments.”

“Back at you, Fallon.”

She nods in understanding.

Suddenly realization smacks headfirst into me. “I suppose I now better understand Tanner and why he keeps people at arm’s length.”

“He does. You’ve made a lot of progress with him on that front. Don’t give up on him. Honestly, Bailey, when I see him happy with you, it helps my own recovery. For over half a decade, I’ve carried around this guilt that I ruined his chance at happiness, but he’s happy with you. I want that for him.”

Our conversation leaves me wondering if we can’t one day be more than what we’ve been.

TANNER

I’m standing at the window watching Sulley, Bailey, Fallon, and Harper all happily play basketball on the outdoor court. It’s a little cold out, but it doesn’t seem to bother them at all.

Bailey looks so happy, even though I can see that some movements are still a little off for her. It’s clear she takes joy in playing. She has a great shot. I know she was an all-state basketball player growing up.

Kamryn walks into the kitchen. I turn to her. “You don’t want to play with them?”

She scrunches her face. “Nah. I suck at basketball. That was her thing.”

“Why didn’t she play in college?”

“Because we wanted to play together.” She toggles her head from side to side. “Well, I possibly wanted her to play softball more than she actually wanted to play softball. The prospect of going to separate colleges wasn’t palatable for me. I had to do something about it. She’d be good at any sport. She’s the better athlete of the two of us.”

“As much as it pains me to compliment you, you’re an elite athlete, Kamryn. I’m sure you know that.”

“I have my days, but it’s true that she switched to softball because I begged her to.”

“I’d make a comment about her always doing everything for you, but there’s no denying you’ve been here for her the past three months.”

“I’d do anything for her.”

“I realize that.” I smile. “It’s why I tolerate you.”

“You tolerate me because you’re in love with her.”

“Hmm. I suppose that’s true. ”

“Listen, I want to tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for my sister. This environment was so much better for her than a rehab hospital would have been. I know that’s why she’s doing so well.”

“I’d do anything for her too.”

“I’m glad you feel that way because I think it’s time for her and me to move back to our apartment.”

My face falls, and she notices.

“I assumed you’d be happy to get rid of me.”

“You? Yes. Her? No.”

She blows out a breath. “Again, I’m appreciative of what you’ve done for her. Don’t take what I’m about to say as any lack of gratitude for everything. The rekindling of your relationship has been good for her mental health during this difficult time, but it’s not good for her long-term mental health. I’m asking you as someone who just said he’d do anything for her to please let her go. It’s time.”

My jaw tightens. “I can’t do that.” I nervously scratch through my beard. “I was planning to call your father soon, but I bought a ring. In fact, I bought it before the accident. I want to marry her.”

Her eyebrows pinch together. “What happened to you never getting married again?”

“Bailey happened.”

“What about kids? She loves Harper like her own, but she’s meant to mother a gaggle of kids, not just one.”

“Can I ask you to keep something between us for one more week?”

“I can try. I’m not very good at secrets.”

“Fair enough. Also, before the accident, I had my vasectomy reversed.”

She’s got a look of pure shock on her face. “What?”

“When you guys were in the playoffs, a few weeks before the night of the accident, I had a procedure done to reconnect things in hopes that I could give her the children she should have.”

“Why doesn’t she know this?”

“I was supposed to go back a month after the surgery for them to test me to see if…the pipes are reconnected properly. At first, I didn’t go because of everything going on with her. Then I just wimped out. If the answer isn’t what I want, I know I need to let her go. But the appointment is set for next week. I’m going to find out one way or the other. If it’s what I hope for, I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

She sits down. I think she’s in shock. “Wow. I didn’t see this coming.”

“I love her, Kamryn. I want to be with her. Whatever it takes.”

She’s quiet for a few long beats before she stands, seemingly eager to get away from me. “I…umm…have a few errands to run. Tell her I’ll be home for dinner.”

She walks out the front door, but the doorbell rings less than five minutes later. Maybe she forgot her key.

I open it and nearly fall over in shock. “Linc?”

He smiles and opens his arms. “No hug for your baby brother?”

BAILEY

I’ve had the best afternoon shooting hoops. I can’t do everything I once could, but my shot isn’t bad. For some reason, it makes me happy to know that I haven’t completely lost it.

It was Sulley and Harper against me and Fallon. Fallon is great, and Harper isn’t bad. She’s such a natural athlete. I smile at her as we walk back toward the house. “You got your mom’s basketball skills. You should play on a team.”

She shakes her head emphatically. “I love softball. I’m a softball player.”

“You’re young. You can play both. In fact, at your age, you should play both.”

She turns to Fallon. “Do you think I’m dexterous, Mommy?”

“Yes, baby, and I agree with Bailey. You should play lots of sports.”

Sulley blinks a few times. “What word did she just use?”

Fallon and I giggle. I answer, “Harper learns a new word every day. She amazingly remembers them and uses them appropriately in conversation.”

“What does that word mean?”

Harper answers, “Having skill at something with your hands or limbs. Like ambidextrous is having skills with both hands.”

Sulley twists her lips. “Hmm. I think I need to study more if I’m going to hang out with you, Harper.”

We’re all laughing as we walk back toward the house. I invite Sulley to stay for dinner, but she says she has plans. Before leaving, she turns to Fallon. “Have you ever considered working with athletes?”

Fallon nods. “I work with them all the time.”

Sulley responds, “I mean on a permanent basis. I know the Beavers are in the market for a full-time dedicated physical therapist. We told management we want it to be a woman. A woman like you with a basketball background would be perfect. And look at what you did for Bailey. Obviously it’s more intense during the season, and you need to travel with the team, but you’ll be able to set your own hours in the off-season. Something to consider. We’d love to have you.”

Harper’s face lights up. “Does it mean courtside seats for her daughter?”

Sulley laughs. “I don’t see why not. ”

Harper jumps up and down. “Yes, Mommy. You should do it.”

Fallon smiles. “I’ll think about it. Thanks for asking, Sulley.”

Sulley nods and says her goodbyes as she makes her way toward her car.

When the three of us walk back inside, I notice a familiar-looking man sitting with Tanner.

Fallon stops short and her face falls. “Linc? What in the hell are you doing here?”

Harper gasps. “Mommy. Language. That’s ten dollars.”

Linc. Linc. It takes me a second, and then I remember that it’s the name of Tanner’s younger brother. The one he rarely sees. The one he doesn’t think highly of. I don’t remember seeing a photo of him beyond the age of eight, but I feel like I’ve seen him before. Maybe it’s because he resembles Tanner, though he’s not nearly as attractive.

Linc rolls his eyes. “Warm as ever, Fallon. I didn’t think I’d see you here,” he wiggles his eyebrows, “but I certainly don’t mind the view.”

He then oddly stares at me. It’s kind of making me uncomfortable, but perhaps I’m reading too much into it. I hold out my hand. “Hi, I’m Bailey. It’s nice to meet you.”

He tentatively shakes it. “You too…Bailey? Did you say your name is Bailey?”

“Yes.”

Tanner stands behind Harper. “Bug, you probably don’t remember him, you haven’t seen him since you were really little, but this is your Uncle Lincoln.”

Harper shakes her little head. “I don’t remember.”

He smiles at her. “Maybe we can do something to get to know each other. Do you have dolls? We can play with them. Or maybe a make-believe kitchen? We can have a tea party.”

Harper scowls at him. Fallon and I smile at one another. Harper doesn’t have a single doll or engage in tea parties. She’s a tomboy through and through .

Tanner bites back his own smile. “Linc, she’s not four, and she happens to be into sports. Mostly softball. She probably throws harder than you ever did.”

“Oh, I didn’t know. Aren’t sports for boys? You should play princess dress-up, polish your nails, or other things like that.”

I mouth to Fallon, “He’s a douche.”

She nods and mouths back, “Yep.”

Fallon grabs Harper’s arm and grits out, “Why don’t we go get cleaned up for dinner? Perhaps we can find some noise-canceling headphones for you.” She gives Lincoln a death stare.

I point toward my room. “I think I’ll go get cleaned up too. Nice to meet you.”

His eyes move up and down my body. It’s creepy as hell. Tanner definitely notices. I can see him getting uptight.

After I shower, I’m sitting on my bed in my towel when there’s a knock at the door. Assuming it’s Harper, I say, “Come in.”

Linc walks in. I immediately tighten my towel around my body, feeling very exposed and uncomfortable. “Oh, I thought you were Harper. Can you please wait outside? I need to get dressed.”

He gives me a smug smile as he disregards my request and steps further into my room. “Nothing I haven’t seen before, sweetheart. Tanner tells me you’re a bit of an item. Are you going to tell him we’ve had sex, or am I?”