Chapter 9

Note: Don't forget the desserts.

Alex started unpacking the food. He laid out the meats and cheeses along with the fruits, thinking it all looked good. He grabbed the bottle of wine and met Ryan's gaze.

"Do you like wine?"

"I sure do. I can open it while you do the food."

"Sounds great."

He handed Ryan the bottle, liking the zing that shot up his arm when their fingers touched. Was Ryan gay? He hadn't said anything about a girlfriend, but he also hadn't mentioned anything about a boyfriend, either.

The jokes about balls could have been just jokes, but based on the looks that had passed between them, he was beginning to suspect that Ryan might have been interested in something more than just winning the food basket.

Once it was all unpacked, Ryan's smile widened. "Wow, this all looks amazing."

Heat crept up Alex's neck. "I hope you like it."

"I do. I think this is the nicest picnic I've been on."

Thunder rumbled above, and they both laughed. "The tent inside is different. I'm glad you came up with this idea. It's cozy, which I never thought of a warehouse as cozy before."

"Well, I'm a master at staging things. It comes from working at the store for years. Back when I was in high school, I set up a lot of the displays. At first, my father thought I was a jerk when I set up a tennis display with the mannequins that seemed to be stumbling, but everyone who came in thought it was funny."

Alex put some cheese and meats on a plate, along with some crackers, and passed it to Ryan, who flashed a smile of thanks.

"That sounds like you are very creative."

"I'm stuck right now, though."

"How so?"

Ryan's lips thinned. "My mom always does a holiday display and people come from all over to see it. She was good, like real good. I'm bogged down with the business side, and I don't have time to dedicate myself to it. Also, since I'm responsible for the store being a success, I think my creative side is just taking a hit. And maybe a bit guilty because my dad didn't like my creative side."

"Really? Why didn't he like your creative side?" Alex asked between bites of food.

Ryan's lips screwed up to the side. "Well, my older brother had just come out as gay, and my dad was pissed. He said some stuff and then other stuff happened. It's a mixed up story."

Alex froze, worry filling him. "Oh."

"Yeah, he tried to keep it quiet—my dad, that is. Said Brett being gay wouldn't be good for business."

"Ouch."

Ryan nodded. "My mom and I kept in touch with Brett. He didn't come home for the funeral, since he's still angry. I'm trying to get him to come back to see me, but it's a long shot. He and his husband are getting settled in a new house on the East Coast, so getting them to fly out here might be a bit much."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No reason for you to be sorry. It is what it is."

Alex set his plate down, unsure if he should say anything. "So you stayed here, working with your dad. You didn't branch out and leave."

Ryan nodded. "Brett took it hard. My dad's anger and stuff, but I saw it differently, plus I love the store. I'm not saying I'm stronger than Brett. Actually, I'm weaker. I kind of fell into being who they wanted me to be, but I never let him say negative things about Brett. I pushed and pushed, letting him know Brett wasn't doing anything wrong."

"That was brave of you."

Ryan ate another bite of food and shrugged. "I don't know if it was brave or not. I didn't want to leave town. And like I said, I gave in on some stuff."

"Like what?"

Ryan picked up his glass of wine and took a long drink. Their gazes held as Ryan set the glass down. "Um, well, though I was engaged to a woman last year, I was more like Brett than I even admitted to myself."

Alex's hand hung in midair as shock pulsed through him. Was Ryan saying what he thought he was? "More like Brett?"

Ryan ate another cracker and nodded. "Yeah. I didn't act on it, but…"

Alex didn't know if he should finish the sentence or not, but something about being in the tent in a locked-up warehouse had him speaking out when he normally wouldn't. "You wanted to date guys?"

Ryan bit his lower lip and then nodded. "I have a gay brother, and he is unabashedly gay. He does drag, sings in a cabaret, and does all the marches and pride parades. He is out there. And I'm not. I feel like a fraud when I think about it. Like he's really gay, and I'm just me over here liking women and men."

"Being bisexual isn't being a fraud."

Ryan shrugged. "My dad wouldn't hear it. He told me it was just a phase, and I dropped it, believing that maybe he was right. Maybe I was a fraud for never acting on it."

Alex picked at the blanket below him, staring at the grapes and cheese. His heart picked up speed as he contemplated saying something.

"Maybe me bidding on your date was a mistake, but I?—"

Alex's head whipped up, and he met Ryan's gaze. "No, it wasn't a mistake."

Ryan let go a heavy sigh and smiled as he picked up some cheese then popped it in his mouth and chewed then froze, his eyes going wide. "Wait, are you dating someone?"

His stomach cramped as he shook his head. "No, not now. I was in a relationship. It wasn't good."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry."

"He used anger and gaslighting to control me."

"Oh fuck, and the first two times you met me, I was angry and rude. I'm sorry. I was being an ass."

Alex thought about staying quiet, as he would have with his ex. But he wanted to know what made Ryan tick. "So what was up that night you were changing your tire?"