Chapter 5

Note to self: Don't be a dick today.

Failure. He'd not even made it to work, and he'd failed on the one thing he wanted to do today. He'd left the sticky note on his steering wheel, and still, he'd come in to get coffee and showed his ass instead of being a decent person. Shit, he was screwing everything up. His gaze stayed on the man he'd just run off, realizing he didn't recognize him.

"Hey, Ryan, I'll take your order," Brock said.

With the subtlest shake of his head, he turned away from the door, his attention shifting to Brock. "I'll have a coffee."

"Sure thing. How is the world of retail doing?"

Ryan glanced around, noticing the place was too full to tell the truth. "Good. I'm looking forward to this next year."

"That's good to hear. I always enjoy seeing the decorations you guys come up with for the winter holidays."

Ryan nodded and smiled. He'd forgotten about the decorations. His mom usually handled that. She was gone and he had to figure out what they would put up. If he ended the decorating thing people would be angry. Too many townsfolk stopped by to see the window. Heck, some people didn't even live here and drove miles to see it. If he didn't decorate…he didn't want to think about what would happen.

"It's going to be interesting." Ryan hoped his smile was convincing. He had no clue what to do this year. His mom usually went over the top.

"I bet. So you're going to the charity auction, right?"

Ryan hadn't planned on it, but he guessed he needed to. As a business owner in town, he had to show up at the events. His father had that part handled when he'd been alive. It was the one thing Ryan hadn't wanted to take over. All the glad-handing and going to events wasn't his thing.

"Sure, I'll be there." It was just one more thing taking his focus. He could do it. His heart just needed to start matching his actions.

He turned to leave, but he needed information, and since no one was in line behind him, he decided to ask Brock. He moved back to the counter, stepping close so he didn't have to shout for Brock to hear him.

"Everything okay?" Brock asked.

"Yeah. Who was that guy in here before I ordered?"

"Oh, Doc Engle. He's the new dog doctor over at the animal clinic. I guess he does more than dogs. He's a great guy. Have you met him yet?"

Ryan shook his head. "No, I haven't met him." The door dinged behind him, which was his cue to leave.

"Oh, Ryan, when are you starting on the window?"

He recognized the woman but didn't have a name for her. "Um, I'm still thinking it over."

"Well, I used to help your mother. I'll stop by later."

"Sure, that would be great."

Now, he needed to figure out who the woman was who helped his mom do the window decorations for the holidays. He needed a lot of help. His parents had done the extra stuff which was turning out to be more than he could handle along with running the main part of the business, cleaning out their old house, and taking care of filing paperwork with banks and other institutions who needed to know his parents had passed.

Maybe he needed to hire someone. If things kept going the way they were, he would absolutely have to bring on one or two more people just to free him up to do the glad-handing and extra decorating. He needed a break, but he didn't think he would get one anytime soon.

Close to four that afternoon, once Jenna arrived and took over, he headed over to his parents' house, sadness filling him. He was about to step inside when his phone vibrated against his thigh. He answered, unsure why the store would be calling him. Jenna should have everything under control.

"Hey, boss man, Mrs. Iden is here about the window."

"Crap, I totally forgot. Could you get her information and ask her when a good time is to meet? Then put it on my schedule so I see it."

"Sure thing. I'll set it up. And Ryan, you know I used to help with the window, too. I can work with Mrs. Iden to create something special this year."

His lips thinned. He hated putting pressure on his employees, but Jenna had volunteered to work on the decorations.

Frustration filled him, and he blew out a breath, knowing he couldn't do it all. "Yeah, you're right. I need help."

"Cool. I'm excited. I love doing the window. We'll work up a plan and then schedule a meeting for you to approve."

"Gosh, is that too much?"

"No, I'm totally looking forward to doing this. Thank you."

The call ended, and he shook his head. He was thrilled Jenna was excited about working on the window decorations because he'd been dreading having to come up with something that would match his mother's creativity. No way would he have done the window crowd proud.

He keyed open the door and stepped inside, closing the door with a solid click. Sadness and panic twisted in his belly. No way would he move into this house. There were too many reminders, some good, but also the bad. Plus, he needed to split the proceeds with Brett. They both could use the extra cash and if he kept the house, it wouldn't be fair to Brett.

The clatter of dishes filled the kitchen as Ryan stacked the dishes on the counter. He needed to take them to the local resale store and see what he could get for them. Neither he nor Brett wanted them, which he knew would kill his mom.

"Need a hand?" The voice came from behind him, warm and tinged with concern.

Ryan turned to find Hugh, his parents' neighbor, leaning against the doorway. "You're a brave soul offering to help me. The place is a mess, not because of them, just decades of accumulated stuff."

Hugh chuckled. "Thought I'd stop by, see how you're holding up," Hugh admitted as he began boxing up pots and pans. "You know, the local shelter could use some of this stuff."

Ryan shook his head. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, it's something that can help others, even in the midst of a tragedy."

Pain circled his heart. He didn't like thinking too much about his parents' wreck. Too many things had been left unsaid, mostly to Brett, but still it weighed on Ryan. His relationship with his father had been strained after he ended the engagement. His dad blamed him and said some awful things that made Ryan realize that his dad never unconditionally loved or supported him. His mom tried to cover for his dad, but the harsh words had left Ryan with a very unflattering memory of his father.

"You know, parents can be...complicated," Hugh said as he packed away more pots. "But in their own way, they did love you."

A plate slipped from Ryan's fingers, shattering against the tile. His chest tightened, anger flaring hot beneath his ribs. "Love shouldn't leave you broken," he spat out, the words tasting bitter on his tongue.

Hugh paused and held still. The room filled with the sound of the ticking tick-tock clock he always hated. Ryan's gaze dropped to the fragmented porcelain, its sharp edges catching the light.

"Sorry," Ryan murmured after a moment, the fire in his chest simmering down to embers. "I didn't mean to—it's just..." He trailed off, unsure how to articulate the storm within.

"Ryan, it's okay to be angry." Hugh set the box to the side. "I know your father was harsh when your engagement ended. He came to me and asked me if I thought you were like Brett."

Ryan hadn't known. "What?"

Hugh blew out a breath, sympathy shining in his eyes. "I know your dad didn't handle that correctly. I talked to him, trying to get him to see it didn't matter."

"Ugh, I don't even know what to think. I'm sad he's gone, but with everything that happened, I'm still angry."

"He had issues."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "You think?"

Hugh chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah, he had some shitty ideas. I remember talking to him about that and telling him he would regret cutting Brett off."

"I'm glad you got him to simmer down. Jesus, first Brett, then he wanted to cut me out, too. I'm so angry at him."

"You handled so many things well. I know not having Brett at the funeral was difficult."

"I don't blame him for not coming back. My dad was harsh on him."

"I supported Brett's decision. I called him up and told him so. I know he may not ever come back for a visit, but I hope he comes to see you at some point."

Ryan shook his head. "Yeah, he might. I don't know." He glanced around, taking in all the stuff that still needed to be sent somewhere. "God, this mess needs to be cleaned out. I need to be finished coming over here."

Hugh chuckled. "You've made a good dent. Are you going to the charity event this weekend?"

Ryan shrugged. "I hadn't planned to attend, not really."

"I ran into Alex, you know, the new veterinarian in town. He's one of the bachelors involved with the auction." Hugh raised both eyebrows.

Ryan's face heated. Alex, the man he'd been so shitty to, was going to be participating. He hadn't planned on staying at the event. He thought he could go and be seen, then slip out. Maybe he would stay.

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do."

"Just saying…" Hugh's eyebrows shot up. "You know, there will be loads of people there, lots of opportunities to meet people.

Ryan shrugged, embarrassed that he thought Hugh was taking about him purchasing Alex's date.

"You could meet that new doctor guy. I'm sure you two have a lot in common being around the same age. Maybe he's someone you could double date with."

Ryan shook his head. "No, there's no way. I was a jerk to him recently."

"Really?" Hugh asked.

Ryan blew out a breath. "I was rude when I was getting coffee, and I was also rude when I was changing a tire. I've been a jerk as far as he's concerned."

"Well, maybe you could win his date and make it up to him."

"How would that work?"

Hugh shrugged. "You know, making stuff up to people doesn't have to be difficult. Sometimes, just being there to support them is enough. Then if you win, you could tell him you were sorry for behaving like an ass."

Ryan blew out a breath. He didn't know, but Hugh was right about one thing, he had to let go of the anger. Going through his parents' stuff churned up memories he wasn't sure he wanted to look at again. Maybe he should attend the charity function. It would do him good to get out.

The idea of bidding on Alex in the auction hit, and he brushed it off. But the thought stayed in the back of his mind. What if he went out with a guy? What would people think?

Hugh said goodbye, and Ryan decided he was done for the evening. He could clean out more on Sunday. Soon, the house would be up for sale, and he wouldn't have to deal with this stuff anymore. He could focus on other things, like the hot new doctor working at the animal clinic.