Chapter 21

Breathing hard, I stumbled to my feet and resumed my fighting stance. Wiping away the trail of sweat running down my forehead with my arm, I stared down my opponents. In a two-on-one situation, it was best to observe first, defend second, and attack last. A plus of this situation? I’d trained with these two for years. The downside? They had pinned me to the floor more times than they should have been able to. I was out of shape. Serves me right for bailing on my training sessions with Mer in the lead up to the Royal Forum.

‘Didn’t we say best of five? I think we’ve well and truly won, no?’ Rynelle taunted, before launching towards me, his fist aiming straight for my head. I ducked, swinging my leg under his knees and he landed on the floor. Mazyr was immediately behind me, arms coming around my neck. I lifted my foot and shoved it into his groin. He staggered back, surprisingly staying on his feet, but only for a second as I hooked my fist into his jaw, sending him sprawling into the walls of the training arena.

‘We did. But I like the feeling of kicking your asses so much I decided to stop counting,’ I threw back as they got to their feet and resumed circling.

My statement wasn’t entirely true. They’d handed me my ass significantly more times than I had them in this session. But hey, I had managed to get a few knocks in there, and considering it was two-on-one with no magic allowed, it was fairly even. I had had to take magic off the table to even entice them into the ring with me. The Goddess knows I needed to let off some steam tonight.

Mazyr scoffed. ‘I think you’ve been hanging out with your sister a little too long, Val. You’re starting to sound as delusional as her.’

When he found me outside the palace after Ramone left, Mazyr stayed with me before I had to put my Queen hat back on and head to the meeting room. He used his knowledge of the fight to lash out at me now, intending to spark my rage. And it did.

I launched towards him. He raised his hands to defend himself before returning to engage in some old school hand to hand with me. At that moment, I felt Rynelle come up behind me so I stepped to the side and watched in amusement as he fought to stop himself from barrelling Mazyr over.

Capitalising on the distraction, I landed a punch under Mazyr’s jaw, splitting the skin and sending him to the floor right as Rynelle approached me. I noticed he was stumbling. Maybe I’d hit his legs a little hard. Oh well. I executed the same move as before, homing in on his weakness, knocking him down.

When it seemed they both wanted to stay on the floor, I allowed my bruised body to sink down too. I lay on my back trying to catch my breath, grinning as the two men groaned. I had missed this.

‘They may have won the best of five, but I think overall performance has to be handed to you, Valare,’ Amire called from the stands, casually filing her nails, not even bothering to look up at the spectacle. She’d been here the whole time, politely declining to make the match three versus one. She claimed tonight was her night for self-care, not self-destruction.

‘Please, you just want to say you won the bet. Hand your coppers over, Amire,’ Rynelle spat out.

‘I specifically said that she’d have you on your asses crying like little schoolboys while she walked away relatively unscathed. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but from my vantage point, you’re lying on your asses moaning in pain and she’s rather casually trying to level out her breaths. Plus she’s got that sadistic smile on her face,’ Amire stated as she moved on to painting her nails.

Mazyr managed to roll onto his side to face me. The blood running down his chin didn’t stop the tired, sloppy grin on his face. ‘Do you feel a little better?’

A sound of contentment left my mouth. ‘I feel amazing,’ I replied.

His eyes crinkled at the sides, warm adoration shining in those mossy green depths. ‘Good,’ he whispered, resting his head to the floor.

‘Another round?’ Rynelle joked, tucking his anger away and getting a round of laughs.

‘With all due respect Valare, you’re out of shape,’ Amire commented when the laughter had died. You can always trust her to say what you don’t want to hear. And it’s always the truth.

‘Yeah, yeah. I’m getting weak in my old, queenly ways. Still managed to take these two losers down though.’ Brushing off her comments was usually the best way to end the conversation. But not tonight apparently.

‘How are you planning on defending yourself against your enemies if you’re not training? Yes, you have your magic, but eventually you will need to rest and regenerate. Maybe not as quickly as us, but you don’t have infinite power. You need to keep up your hand-to-hand combat as well,’ she finished.

She was starting to sound like Varqel with how she was lecturing me.

‘Says the assassin who chose ‘self-care’ over training,’ countered Mazyr.

True to form, Mazyr had my back in these situations. With words, at least. With action? He was a bit useless on the best of days.

‘It’s a very important part of maintaining one’s body. Which, if you’d attended the classes instead of hooking up with anything that had a pulse, you would know.’

Well damn, Amire. She wasn’t playing.

‘Alright, well, it’s been a pleasure,’ I interjected loudly, cutting off any further conversation. I’d reached my quota of sibling spats for the day. ‘But I have places to be, people to see. You know how it is.’ I brushed off my pants as I stood up.

‘Why don’t you ever stay around to hang out with us like the old times?’ Rynelle whined.

‘I promise once this is all said and done with Eliasson, I’ll make time for us to hang out. I miss you guys, I really do. I know we see each other fleetingly but –’ I cut myself off before I got emotional. ‘It’s not the same. And I acknowledge that. But I appreciate all your hard work. And there’s only just over a week to go with the Forum, so we’re almost there.’

It was true. I wanted nothing more than to find a rowdy Solistan bar and forget about all of this, even if it were just for a night. Just me and my Sol kicking it like the good old days.

‘I’m sure you could make a bit more time for us,’ Rynelle scowled.

Amire frowned, unimpressed with his comment. ‘No need to explain yourself, Queen. Go do what you need to do. We’ll be here when you need to let off more steam,’ said Amire, shooing me away.

I looked at the boys, ignoring Rynelle’s comment. ‘Same time, two nights from now?’

‘Can’t wait,’ Mazyr winced, clutching his rib where I had landed a nasty punch earlier. I think I may have broken it. Ah well, he’s been through worse.

‘Your bacon and eggs were bang on today. Keep up the good work, chef,’ I quipped.

The last thing I saw was a raised middle finger aimed straight at me.

I didn’t bother changing out of my clothes, instead opting to land straight on the palace roof above Qynthia’s room. After last night’s successful (or not so successful depending on how you want to look at it) snooping, I decided it wasn’t ideal to test my patience with another round of the Marlyst twins.

Varqel had told me off earlier in the evening for the storm I’d created throughout the Isles. Afterwards, the ground was so muddy the trainees weren’t able to get outside for their usual classes, despite having multiple earth and water mages working on the mess. I didn’t bother pretending that it wasn’t me. Sometimes a girl’s got to let off some steam, and I sure as hell couldn’t bring myself to use Eliasson as the usual outlet. Not after everything that went down with Xylan. The guilt was still gnawing at me.

‘Well, this is definitely a look I haven’t seen. Not going to lie, I’m surprisingly into it.’

Xylan’s voice broke through my thoughts.

Where the hell had he come from? I hadn’t sensed him at all.

‘Just kicking back,’ I quipped, sitting down, refusing to look at him and be distracted by his beauty.

‘On top of the palace? In fighting leathers? Interesting place for that. Interesting time of hour, too,’ said Xylan. He sat down next to me but kept an appropriate distance, so we weren’t touching.

I didn’t answer. I did not owe this guy any explanation.

‘You have blood running down your neck.’ I sensed his hand reach towards me, only for him to retract it quickly when he realised what he was about to do.

‘I do?’ I ran a finger down my neck, wincing at the bruise that must be forming, pulling away my finger. ‘Huh,’ I said, seeing the blood.

‘Shall I get you a healer?’

I swung my head to look at him finally, accusation in my voice. ‘Why do you care?’

‘Probably not a good look strolling into the meeting room tomorrow all banged up,’ he smirked. I wanted to wipe that smirk off his face. Maybe I should’ve stayed longer at the arena.

‘Well, I can always add a couple of battle scars to your face and we can stand in solidarity with one another, hmm?’ I replied.

Somehow the snort he let out was attractive. ‘You wouldn’t be able to go through with it.’

Clearly, he didn’t know me very well and I could still use a punching bag to let out my frustrations. The sparring with my Sol had barely satisfied it. ‘You want to test that theory? Because I easily have another ten rounds in me.’

I moved my neck from side to side, cracking it as I went, preparing for him to call my bluff.

‘You’re a bit wilder than I was expecting,’ he mused. His appraising glances gave nothing away as to whether my being wild was a good or bad thing. I wasn’t offended. It wasn’t the first time I’d been called that, nor did I expect it would be the last.

‘Is that meant to be a compliment?’ I asked, my words spilling out a little too quickly.

I waited for the blow to come, the one where he admonished me like most other men I’d known. Aside from a select few, a lot of the men I knew felt it was their right to put a woman in her place. They were too scared we would be uncontrollable, wild, emotionally erratic.

I was surprised when my question was instead met with a feral grin.

‘Absolutely,’ he responded.

His primitive look made me pause. Xylan portrayed himself as jovial and carefree, flinging jokes around, giving as good as he got. But beneath that mask I could now sense a thrumming, tightly restrained power. There was a ruthless, unforgiving edge to Xylan I was beginning to notice. It screamed ‘fuck with me or mine and I will obliterate you’. Of course, he wouldn’t be deterred by my ‘wildness’. His look showed me all I needed to know. He wouldn’t control me or my power. He’d match it. I longed to experience the beauty of that. To have an equal.

The noise of a door opening followed by the sense of two presences in Qynthia’s room ripped my attention away from his captivating gaze.

I could tell clothes were being taken off at a rapid pace, lips mashing together in a heated embrace. I sensed a person on their knees beside the bed, while another was lying down in front of them on the bed, legs wide open. Heavy moans soon sounded. A lot of ‘Oh yes, right there. Oh, God right there. Oh, that’s good. That’s very good darling,’ following.

I felt my face heating. Looks like Qynthia has found herself a buddy in Arlom. And it wasn’t Xylan. Not tonight, anyway.

‘Well,’ I quipped, breaking the awkward silence forming as we listened in on the fun. ‘At least someone’s getting a happy ending.’

His deep chuckle stirred desire in me.

No, it wasn’t him. It was Qynthia and her friend stirring it.

‘What’s your favourite food?’ Random question from him, but okay.

‘Any baked goods. And raspberries. Oh, and chocolate,’ I answered. My mouth started watering.

‘That’s more than one,’ he noted.

‘Well, you have a lot to learn about me. That question is like asking a mother who her favourite child is. Impossible.’ I shook my head at him.

Surprise and a hint of jealousy lit up his face before he carefully masked his expression. ‘You have children?’

‘Well, no, but –’

‘So how do you know?’ he countered.

I rolled my eyes. ‘This game’s getting off to a good start.’

‘If simply getting to know you is a game then I hate to say it, but you’ve got some trust issues.’

I scoffed, irritation spiking. This man was talking to his sister last night about getting me on side. And he’s going to pretend him being up here with me isn’t a game? And comment on me having trust issues? Un-fucking-believable. Of course, him not knowing that I knew was irrelevant.

‘Look, in case you aren’t aware, I didn’t come up here to be psychoanalysed. So, spare me,’ I shot back. ‘Which reminds me. What are you doing up here?’

He feigned innocence, ‘Just taking in the serenity. What are you doing up here?’

‘Oh, you know, leaning into my voyeuristic side. Strolling the roof hoping to listen in on someone getting lucky,’ I said biting my lip, dramatically moaning at the same time one sounded from the Queen. Qynthia followed it by releasing a scream and whimpering as she came down from her climax.

‘Fuck,’ Xylan groaned as he watched my every move, clearly reacting to the sounds and restraining himself.

I threw him a wink. ‘See? It’s a lot of fun.’

‘Apparently,’ he said, gritting his teeth.

I eyed him as he shifted his pants to make way for what looked like his hardening dick. Damn. I was joking but seems like he’s right into the listening thing. I’m into that. But, I resisted the urge to store that information for a later date. ‘It looks like you may have a problem there.’

‘Are you offering? After the show you put on today, I’d say you’re quite adept at resolving problems,’ he purred, leaning into me.

I simultaneously hated and loved the challenging glint in his eye. ‘I think I’ve had enough for one day. But I’ll take the compliment, thanks.’

He huffed out a laugh before creating more space between us. ‘Blue or Green.’

‘Oh? We’re going back to this, are we? Shall we place bets on us lasting more than one round of questions?’ I really tried not to taunt him, but I couldn’t help it. It was too fun. Plus, I think he secretly loved it.

‘Blue or Green, Minx.’

I guess that’s a no. And I guess I have a new nickname. ‘Blue.’

‘Interesting.’

Was it really?

‘Not for any political reason,’ I rushed out. ‘I just … I love the crystal clear ocean blue of the shallow waters of the Isles, right where the water meets the sand. The push and pull so great between the two that they are tied to one another, always coming back for more. The sand is stable, unmoving, while the water is erratic, at times calm, gentle, lapping at the sand. And other times? It’s fierce and untamed in its relentlessness to never stop moving. For the world to see it for the powerful force that it is. But the sand never cowers, nor ever tames it. It welcomes the water with an open embrace for everything it is. It’s beautiful.’

My heart ached as I thought of the symbolism of waves crashing on the shore and how obvious I’m sure it was to Xylan. It’s how I envisioned my true love. Someone who would accept me in all my wildness, never diminishing my power, but rather holding steady and staying by my side through it all. Always having my back, never afraid or thinking I was too much. I had known deep in my heart for a while that person was neither Eliasson nor Sir. Definitely not the latter. That had become increasingly apparent over the last few weeks. And Eliasson? He didn’t know the full extent of who I was. And if he did, I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He would constantly be on edge, bracing for a tsunami to hit and wipe him out with everything else around him. It would never work.

Xylan watched me in quiet contemplation, lost in his own thoughts.

I broke the silence, not wanting to linger on the analogy of love. ‘Pink or Orange.’

My question snapped him out of his thoughts. ‘It wasn’t a political question, for the record,’ he clarified. ‘But if I had to choose, pink, of course.’

‘Wow. Someone’s comfortable in his sexuality,’ I joked, not pushing the political part any further. We’d made it all of two questions, I wouldn’t want to ruin it when we’re on a roll.

‘Well yes, I am. Very comfortable, that is. But that whole pink is a girl’s colour thing is bullshit. You get over it pretty fast and stop subscribing to that ridiculous notion when you have pink eyes.’

Those pink eyes were staring into my soul.

‘Fair enough.’ I winced at my less than great response.

‘Pink reminds me of the sunrise over the Hudrielle Desert. As kids, Orlandia and I would often wake up early to catch the splashes of light pink. It complements the blue sky as the sun rises over the sand. The sight is … it’s hard to explain how beautiful it is. It’s one of those things you need to see to appreciate its beauty. My words will never do it justice.’

He’d relaxed as he started opening up to me, allowing me to see another side to him. It was … nice.

‘Are you able to see the sunrise from your palace? Or do you have to venture into the desert to see it?’ I hoped he didn’t feel I was probing. After all, I’d never been to the Kingdom and I had heard the Marlyst Royal Forums were held in the blacksmith villages rather than their palace. I didn’t know why, but no one knew where the palace was located. I know I should’ve been gathering information to use, but I found myself simply wanting to know. I wanted to understand where he came from. And maybe … maybe it would help me better understand him.

‘We see glimpses of the sunrise depending on where we are in the palace. The dunes on the outskirts of the city are quite tall though, so it cuts off the view a fair bit. It’s best to be in the desert itself to see the full effect.’

‘I imagine you’d have outposts in the desert then? If you have to get up so early to be able to see it. Or do you go camping?’ I couldn’t think of anything worse than camping surrounded by sand and in that kind of heat. At least in the Isles there’s plenty of cool water to dive into to cut through the humidity.

‘I’ve done my fair share of camping, yes. But these days I tend to stay in one of the … outposts when I can get away from royal duties. I’ve spent too many hours in the cool climate of the Kingdom to favour the heat of the desert anymore.’

Interesting. I’d taken a guess mentioning outposts, as in truth, I had no idea if there was any infrastructure out there. I wondered why they would need buildings in the desert. There was nothing there.

‘So, what I’m hearing is that you’ve become soft,’ I teased. He raised an offended eyebrow at me. I held up my hands in an innocent gesture, ‘Just reading between the lines.’

He chuckled. ‘I suppose that’s how your kind would view it. I tend to see it as favouring comfort over hardship.’ He flashed a rueful smile. ‘Sand in your clothes? Sticking to you as you sweat from the blistering heat? At least in the Isles you’re surrounded by water to wash off. But in the desert? Waterholes are few and far between. It leaves us craving water, driven by this insatiable need to quench our thirst,’ he said. His voice had dropped sensually. He leaned towards me.

Warmth spread through me, heating up my body despite the cool nip of the night air. My eyes lowered to his lips, remembering the feel of them on mine. The flick of his tongue, the bite of his teeth, his groans as he had tilted my head and pulled me deeper into him.

I cleared my throat, mentally shaking myself. ‘I guess you make a valid point. Water is important,’ I responded lamely. Here I was worrying that my analogy had taken it too far. But Xylan? Give the man an inch and he’ll run a mile.

‘It’s as vital as our next breath,’ he breathed into my ear, sending a warm buzz through my body. If I moved my head a fraction, I knew his lips would brush my cheek. I craved the contact like my body craved its next breath.

What I needed, though, was to get out of here before a repeat of our kiss happened. ‘Well, sleep is also vital. So, on that note, I best be off,’ I said, not particularly smoothly.

I felt Xylan cock his head to the side, gifting me a sliver more space as he listened to the activities in Qynthia’s room. ‘Are you sure? You’re about to miss orgasm number four.’

‘Consider my thirst quenched,’ I paused, turning to look, my eyes lingering on his perfect form. ‘For now.’ I shouldn’t have said that last bit. I knew he would hold onto that.

‘Suit yourself,’ he grinned. ‘Until the next rooftop hangout, my Minx.’

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reply as I left. I was too busy reeling over his last words. Oddly, the possessive my didn’t feel suffocating when it came from his mouth.