Chapter 26

The next morning,the doorbell rang as I was finishing my first cup of coffee. Good thing it wasn't a half-minute earlier, as I concur with the message on my favorite coffee cup: "DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL THIS MUG IS EMPTY." I set the mug in the sink and headed to the front door.

Elle stood on the porch, jogging in place. Her constant motion reminded me of a little girl who had to use the bathroom.

"How goes the running?" I said.

"You up for a lap or two this morning? Get the blood pumping?"

"I've got to be at work by nine and I was out past two last night." I yawned so widely my jaw creaked.

"A short jog might be good for you. I've got to be at the hotel by eight thirty, but that doesn"t mean we can't put in a mile or so."

I considered my options. With my healing ribs I'd neglected even the most rudimentary exercise for the past week. "I'm still under doctor's orders to take it easy," I said. "So go easy on me."

"Fine. We'll take it slow. Any time you want to turn back, just let me know."

I had dressed to stretch in a jog bra and yoga pants, so I slipped on my white Nikes. They appeared sadly worn next to Elle's high-tech gold and black sneakers.

For the first ten minutes we said little as we trotted along the smooth curving asphalt streets of New Ohia. I focused on getting in rhythm with Elle's quicker pace, trying to keep my breathing shallow and even. If this is what she considered taking it easy, I was in for some pain.

Elle glanced back at me, and my expression must've given me away. "Tell you what," she said. "I'll bring it down a notch and provide some entertainment."

Unsure as to what that meant, I nodded. A few beats later, Elle spoke. "You want to hear how I really ended up out here in New Ohia? An eight-year Army medical professional now advising couples on flower arrangements and cake options?"

"Tell me." She'd slowed down just a bit but the fog of weariness was ebbing away. My side was beginning to ache.

"I'd been at Schofield for nearly two years. We were doing some cool research on blood replacements: you know—artificial blood to keep soldiers alive while they're being transported. I worked on a dengue fever project out here in Hana during my first year there, but the artificial replacement stuff was more of a priority. Dengue is pretty much limited to tropical environments, and right now the Army doesn't have much going on in those parts of the world.

"Anyway, my team was cleared to publish a breakthrough paper in a prestigious hematology journal when it all came to a halt. And nobody knows the word halt better than a smarmy lieutenant colonel with an agenda."

The stitch in my side now screamed for mercy. "Speaking of halt," I said. "I've got to take a breather."

"Of course." Elle slowed and we stopped.

I bent over and rested my hands on my knees. Elle wasn't even winded though my breathing was ragged. "Sorry, but according to the doctor, my rib cage is still pretty messed up."

"Got it. You want me to go on?" she said.

"With your story, yes. With the running, no. Give me a minute more."

"Well, my immediate superior at Schofield got transferred and in comes this colonel who should never have been there in the first place. I was a good soldier. I'd been all ‘yes, sir,' and ‘no, sir,'—whatever it took to get the job done, for my entire career."

I motioned that we could start moving again.

Elle pointed back to the way we'd come, and I nodded in gratitude. We moved out at a brisk walk.

"We both need to get to work, and this story is too long," she said. "What do you say we put it on pause until another time?"

"Sure. Your tale might have something in common with mine. There's a reason I ended up as postmaster of Ohia from the Secret Service." I prayed I had enough gas left in my tank to make it through the day at work.

"You did great," Elle said as we approached the turnoff to my cul-de-sac.

I snorted. "No I didn't. Swimming might be better for me until I recover more. Do you surf?"

"Nope."

"Want to learn?"

"I'm afraid that's another ‘no.' I appreciate the offer, but I'm strictly an earthbound organism. No water sports for me." She waved as she picked up speed past our turnoff.

Under a cold shower designed to wake me up further, I replayed our conversation.

Earthbound organism? What was that about?

* * *

Later,I unlocked the front door of the post office just as a red Ford Mustang tore into the parking lot, flinging gravel around like party confetti. It screeched to a stop four feet from the front door.

I stood back as Lola charged up the steps. Lola was a short woman, about five feet if she stood on tippy toes, but her blue eyes blazed with the ferocity of a warrior doing a haka war chant before going into battle. Her bleached blonde hair stuck out like a fright wig and her barrel-shaped body was packed into a lavender velour outfit with pants that puddled around her ankles.

"Good morning, Lola," I said keeping my voice level. "I see you've got your favorite rental car again. Are you here to pick up mail?"

"Don't ‘good morning' me, you traitor. I thought you and me were good. And now, you're all cozied up with my mom and that, that . . ." She thrust a finger at me, ostensibly to intimidate. That wasn't frightening since it barely reached midriff level, but her glittery nails were long enough to make me step back. I could smell the remnants of her bender the night before wafting off of her, strong enough to make my eyes water.

A customer had followed Lola, and she stopped and stared. I didn't know the woman's name, but it didn't matter: the gossip mill would be firing up big-time after this.

"What's going on?" I said, keeping my voice low. "Are you still upset over your mother's wedding? Or is it something else?"

"Don't act like you don't know what's going on here, Kat," Lola bellowed in response. "My so-called mother and that crazy Hawaiian woman are doing this to mess with me. This isn't just a wedding, it's a slap in the face. First, Edith dumps me off as a baby. We go through years of estrangement and now, when all I want is for her to act like a mom and make things right, she's dumping me again. And you're egging her on. Last night she called you to run me off when all I wanted was to talk to her." Lola punctuated her speech with her pointy-nailed finger jabbing away at my middle like she was putting in a passcode at an ATM.

"Lola, you were drunk and you scared your mom. She called me because you were about to break down her door." I tried to defuse Lola by raising my hands in a surrender gesture. "Okay, tell me your side."

"I asked nicely for her to let me in. She wouldn't. So, I had to find a way to get her to listen to me."

"Lola, will you admit that you had been drinking?"

"I may have had a nip or three, but that doesn't give my own mother the right to lock me out and refuse to talk to me."

"It gives her every right." Two more customers had come through the door; they goggled at the confrontation going on.

"Edith owes me," Lola shrieked. "And I'm not losing out on anything more on account of her marriage."

"I think you're jumping to conclusions. You need to calm down." The customers were making faces as if they'd come upon a pile of dog poop that hadn't been scooped by the pet parent. After months on Maui I'd learned that "living aloha" doesn't condone airing your ‘ohana private matters in public. "Lola, you're making a scene in a federal government facility. If you have no postal business to conduct, you need to leave."

"Oh, I've totally got ‘postal business," as you call it. Mark my word. Mom ran my sweet daughter into the arms of a narco criminal and now I may never see my darling Ana again. I don't care what happens to me—whatever it takes, Edith Pepperwhite will not be getting married next weekend."

She reached out and with one swipe sent everything on the counter flying. A pen holder with half a dozen pens, a stack of green change of address forms, a tent sign promoting the newest commemorative stamps, and a pile of flat rate cardboard envelopes all went flying to the floor.

"Back off or get caught in the crossfire," Lola threatened, with one last finger shake. And then she slammed out the door. A minute later the Mustang roared off—but not before I'd memorized the license plate.

I was definitely calling Lola's sponsor and her parole officer. She'd just made a serious threat as well as a scene in public.

The clock on the wall ticked off a few seconds as we all stood frozen. I turned to the customers with a forced smile. "Sorry we all had to start the day that way, folks. Anything I can get for you this morning? Stamps? A general delivery package? A new set of eardrums?"

Nervous smiles and a titter from one of the ladies got us all moving again. Pua, pristine in a cream-colored linen sheath, lifted the counter flap for me to step behind. One of the customers who'd come in, clearly trying to break the ice, spoke. "Wasn't that shower last night intense? The weather report says we're due to get more rain in the next day or two."

"I heard that too," Pua said, with a glance to me that said she would handle the front so I could go back to my office. "Sounds like we all need to batten down the hatches."

"In more ways than one," I muttered, as I unlocked my office door and headed for the phone.

* * *

I made my calls,leaving messages for Lola's probation officer and her sponsor. I also called Edith and ended up waking her; I told her to order the fence and gate today, and then to go to Josie's, which already had one. Lola was on the warpath, and I wanted everyone safe and alert.

Edith regretfully agreed. She told me she had a lot to do today already, and that included prep for the upcoming wedding. "Thanks for keeping me informed."

"And so you know, I called Lola's parole officer and her sponsor," I told Edith. "Sorry, but after the way she acted in the post office this morning, I had to."

"I understand," Edith said, her voice heavy and sad. We ended the call.

After that, the rest of the day was uneventful, but by four o'clock I was ready to crash. After dealing with Lola trying to break down Edith's door the night before, the early morning run with Elle, followed by the altercation in the lobby and a full day's work, I was drained.

I ate an early dinner with Aunt Fae. We cleaned up, she turned on her favorite TV program, and I headed toward bed with a romance novel that had arrived from the "Lust of the Month Book Club" subscription Auntie had given me for my birthday. I called Tiki out of the kitchen to keep me company. "Hey, sweet girl. Come snuggle with me."

Tiki seemed more than pleased to accompany me to my room. She and Misty scampered up the stairs and gazed back down as I took each step one at a time, leaning on the banister for support. Tiki's expression seemed almost empathetic, and she rubbed against my leg with a purr when I reached the top. "Thanks for the encouragement, Tiki. Only a catastrophe of epic proportions will get me out of bed for the next nine or ten hours."

I took a shower and climbed in bed. Tiki hopped up beside me, and this time Misty clawed her way up onto the bed, too. The two were a comforting presence beside me as I started Chapter 1 of The Scotsman's Sexy Kilt—and immediately dozed off.

Unfortunately, the next sound I heard was the phone ringing.