Chapter Four

Killer

IT'S BEEN A long fucking day and I'm ready to get home and be with my girls. My wife and daughters are the best things in my life and I've done everything in my power to protect them over the years. Especially Hope and Faith. Hope is more like me and wants to be doing something at all times. Faith is more reserved and would rather be alone than out surrounded by people. Even if it's only the other kids from the club that they're hanging out with. Faith is more like her mom in that aspect. However, she always goes with Hope and does her best to keep her sister out of trouble. Hope always manages to find it and doesn't listen to anything when she gets her mind stuck on something. It's one of the few things I don't like about my daughter and Gwen is always laughing when I bitch about it. My wife tells me that Hope is all me and it's payback for all the shit I've put her through over the years. Especially when I've been an asshole and forbid her from doing something when it goes against keeping her safe.

Walking in the house, I find Gwen and Hope sitting on the couch in the living room with the TV off and them looking up at me. I know the looks on their faces—they've got something to talk to me about and I'm not going to like what they have to say. Rubbing my hands down my face, I take a deep breath and make my way over to my chair and take a seat.

"What's up? I know you wanna tell me somethin'. How pissed am I gonna be?" I question two of my girls but keep my focus on Hope because I have a feeling this is about something she's done or wants to do.

"Dad, first of all, I love you and I love everything you've done to protect me since the day I was born. Even before that if I'm being honest. I've heard so many stories about you from when Mom was pregnant with us and then we were born. Sometimes, you take the whole overprotective thing too far and I haven't had a chance to live my life the way that allows me to figure out who I am. I'm over eighteen now and I've decided that I'm going to move to Pine View with everyone else. I can't be myself here and listen to what you want me to do on a daily basis. I think I've proven that over the years by getting in so much trouble," my daughter says, looking up at me and giving me those puppy dog eyes that typically get her what she wants depending on the question she's asking.

I'd like to think I've become immune to it over the years, but that would be a lie. Hope has mastered the puppy dog look and uses it often. Most of the time, I don't give in to her because of it. This is one of those times. I can't protect her if she's out of my sight. It's not time for her to leave the nest yet.

"No. You're not movin' to Pine View, Hope. There's nothin' there for you and the only reason you wanna go there is to pull the same bullshit you do here and think I don't know about," I state, my voice hard as I look at her eyes filling with tears. "How long have you known this is what she wants to do?"

"She talked to me less than two weeks ago," Gwen answers me, her back straight from the tone of my voice as regret fills me. "You're not even listening to her, Tristan. Hope isn't a baby anymore and what would you say if she were leaving for college instead of wanting to go to Pine View with the guys she's grown up with?"

My wife is trying to get me to see this situation in a way that will benefit Hope. I'm not going to. Hope wants to go to Pine View for one reason—Carson fucking Busch. Playboy's son has been her crush since she learned what one was. My daughter wants him and he wants her. Carson hasn't made a move with Hope, but he's been with every other fucking girl in Benton Falls. He's always going out with one girl after another and I'm not going to have him break my daughter's heart because he's a manwhore who only wants to fuck her before leaving her alone to deal with the consequences on her own.

Carson isn't a bad kid. He's no different than the rest of us were when we were his age. He's in his early twenties and single. He can fuck anyone he wants. My daughter deserves to be more than a notch on a bedpost though. Hope is one of the good girls and deserves to be treated like a queen. I don't think Carson has what it takes to be faithful to her and not break her heart into a million pieces that Gwen and I will have to put back together again. Other than that, I've got no problems with him. Carson is a hard worker and has done everything we've ever asked of him when he was Prospecting. Hell, he did more than we asked of him. All the boys did.

"So, you thought you'd drive a wedge between your Mom and me by talkin' to her first and then bringin' this shit to me? Hope, you're better than that shit and you know it. What did you really think you'd accomplish here today?" I ask my daughter, anger filling me at the thought of her trying to get Gwen and I on opposite sides of this situation.

Gwen and I have always worked together to raise the girls. Yeah, I've been the bad guy when I need to be and have never had an issue doing that. Gwen has always been the softer one and tried to help our girls do more than I want them to. This is the first time one of the girls has tried to pull this shit and I don't like it. It's fucking shady and I won't tolerate someone trying to come between Gwen and me.

"That's not what I did, Dad. I went to Mom first because I wanted help talking to you about this. You're so fucking overprotective that you can't see you're making me hate you. I've been miserable most of my life and have plastered a fake smile on so no one knows how I feel. Honestly, I don't even know who I am or what I like because you never let me do anything to find the person I could become with some freedom and guidance. How is that fair? I don't want to stay in Benton Falls because of you! Faith and I can't do a damn thing because it's too dangerous or you say no. That's no way to live and I'm sick of it. I'm leaving and moving to Pine View and there's nothing you can do to stop me!" Hope screams, pain filling her voice as tears roll down her face before she jumps off the couch and races from the house before I can tell her to stop.

"Tristan, you've gone too far this time. Hope doesn't have to get your permission to move to Pine View. Yeah, you can make it hard on her by telling Vault to not let her stay at the clubhouse or whatever you have to do, but it won't stop her from going. If anything, it will only push her farther away and make her go somewhere else she won't have the protection of the club. Is that what you really want?" Gwen asks me, disappointment filling her voice and hitting me straight in the heart because I hate disappointing any of my girls. "And she wasn't trying to drive a wedge between us. She literally wanted to know the best way to approach you about this so she didn't make you mad or hurt you. Hope loves you so much and it's time for us to step back and let her spread her wings so she can fly. We've taught her all she needs to know and you've made sure she can take care of herself. That girl has only ever wanted your love and to give her a little freedom. You've hurt her deeper than ever before and I don't know if you're gonna be able to come back from this."

Without another word, my wife gets off the couch and leaves me alone in the living room. I drop my head in my hands because she's right. They're both right. I've been so overprotective of my girls because eventually I won't be here to protect them. Part of me wanted them to always depend on me and not to move too far away so I could selfishly keep them close. In the long run, I've only hurt Hope and that's not what I've intended to do. I want my girls to live their lives, but I also want to protect them from the evil in the world. That's not something I can do if she moves to Pine View. Taking a deep breath, I stand from my chair and head outside. I've gotta talk to my daughter and make this right with her.

I've searched the entire compound for Hope and haven't found her yet. I thought she'd be with the guys who are loading the U-Haul , but she wasn't. None of them have seen her. Worry fills me as Carson steps up in front of me.

"Killer, I might know where Hope is if you've looked all over and can't find her," he says, fear filling his voice because I intimidate the hell out of him since he wants my girl. "You know where the field of wildflowers is? Go to the edge of that and head right toward the trees. She's got a spot in the clearin' out there where she goes to sit alone and think. Not many people know about it so they leave her alone there."

"And how do you know that's where she goes?" I question him, crossing my arms over my chest and widening my feet as I look at Carson with his Dad standing behind him and watching us.

"I watched her go there one day and followed. I know you wouldn't want her too far from the clubhouse, so I made sure she didn't get lost or wander too far away. I didn't want her to get hurt. She doesn't know that I've seen her out there," he answers me, truth filling his voice as he remains looking at me and only me.

"Thank you, Carson. You're a good man," I state, taking off and leaving the boys to finish packing their things for the move in a few days.

Walking to the field of wildflowers, I turn right and head for the trees. The closer I get, the easier it is to hear Hope crying. My heart is breaking knowing I'm the reason for her tears and that there's nothing I can do to take back what I've said to her. My baby girl knows how to break me and I hate that shit. Quickening my steps, I walk through the trees and come to the clearing. Hope is laying in the middle of it on a blanket. Her face is buried in her arms as she sobs so hard her entire body is shaking from the force of it.

"Baby, you're killin' me," I tell her, moving closer to her blanket but not wanting to scare her if she doesn't hear me approaching her. "Hope, look at me."

"I don't want to talk to you, Dad. Can't you just leave me alone? Let me get over this so I can continue to be miserable where you want me. I won't move to Pine View. I'll stay here, alone for the rest of my life because it's what you want," she says, tears making her voice hoarse as she keeps her head buried in her arms instead of looking at me.

"I'm not gonna leave you alone, Hope. I love you and I've only wanted to protect you so you didn't have to grow up knowin' how truly evil some people in the world around you are. We've all seen and been through so much over the years and I never wanted that for you and Faith. You know how your Mom was raised and I didn't want that to happen to you. I thought if I kept you close and was strict as fuck, you would want to stay close so I didn't have to worry about you girls gettin' hurt and me not bein' there to make your world right again. That's all I've ever wanted from the second I learned your Mom was pregnant with you girls. You're what makes my heart beat and you add to the light your Mom has brought into my life," I tell her, watching as my daughter finally lifts her head from her arms and looks at me with tears still rolling down her face. "I never wanted to make you miserable or hear that you hate me."

"Dad, you can't protect us from everything bad in the world. I could literally be with you, crossing the street, and something bad could happen. I do know how Mom grew up and I hurt for her. You've given us all the tools we need to protect ourselves to the best of our ability. We have a large family who will burn the world down to protect us. Now, it's time to let me go and find my place in the world. You know Kingston won't let anything happen to me. He's almost as bad as you are with Faith and me," Hope says, reminding me that my nephew will be with her and will take over protecting her the way he knows I'd want.

"Okay, Hope. I'm not gonna stop you from movin' to Pine View with everyone. I love you and you will always be my baby girl. I'm just a phone call away and you better check in every few days so I know you're okay," I tell her, letting the words sink in to my daughter's mind as she jumps off her blanket and races to me so she can pull me into a hug. "Just know I've never wanted you to suffer and I know I'm not an easy man to live with. Your Mom has told me so many times over the years. I've done the best I can with you and don't want you to resent me bein' your Dad. That's the reason I'm not gonna stand in your way, Hope. I will always do what I think is best for you even if it kills me to let you go and fly on your own."

Wrapping my arms around my daughter, I hold her close and take in this moment.

"I'm not leaving to hurt you, Dad. I do love you and I haven't been miserable every day. It's just when I see kids my age doing things I want to do and knowing there's no way you'd ever agree to me doing the same things. It kind of made no one want to be friends with me because I always had to say I couldn't do this or that. Now, I'm going to live and find out who I am. I'll make decisions based on what I know you'd want me to do even if you're not right there with me," she says, pulling back and looking up at me as I see her as nothing more than a baby when Gwen first had her and I held her in my arms.

Hope is a beautiful young woman. Her long, pitch black hair is curly today, framing the large blue eyes that shine so bright it blinds me some days. Hope is the perfect combination of Gwen and me while Faith tends to look more like their Mom. She dresses in jeans and tank tops when I'm around, but I'm not dumb. I know my girl changes when she gets away from the house so she can look more like the other girls her age. I've caught her more than once, but never said anything after Gwen explained it to me. Even when she hides what she's wearing, Hope always covers her body more than most other girls. She barely wears make-up on her flawless skin and has just gotten her first tattoo. I went with her and we bonded as Irish inked her skin with a skull surrounded by three large roses. The tattoo represents our family with the skull being me and a rose for each of my girls. I was touched when she explained it to me and might have shed a tear when I was alone. Only my girls can bring me to tears. Anyway, any man who finally gets her will be lucky. As long as they can get past me that is. In my eyes, not only will Hope always be my baby, but no man will ever be good enough for her.

"We gotta talk about one more thing before this happens, Hope," I say, letting her lead me over to the blanket she's been laying on. "I know you like Carson and that he likes you. We've all seen the way you two look at one another. How are you gonna handle that situation when you both move to Pine View?"

"Dad!" Hope cries out, shock filling her voice as she looks up at me with a blush covering her face. "There's no situation to handle, Dad. Carson doesn't see me like that. He has a type and it's not me. He likes them blonde or blonder with a porn star body who will cling to him like a fucking monkey. That will never be me. I need to have some kind of independence and will find a man who understands that I won't ever cling to him because I don't have a life outside of what he can give me. Carson is a good guy and a friend, but it won't ever be more than that."

"Baby girl, that boy is goin' with every single girl who is the complete opposite of you. He wants you but isn't ready to stake his claim on you yet. Carson will end up bein' my son-in-law and there isn't a doubt in my mind about that shit. You will love him and he'll be the man you need. Playboy and I have already talked about this shit in detail and know what we're gettin'. I have a feelin' Carson will be wantin' to talk to me before too long about startin' a relationship with you. How do you think I found you out here? I never even knew this clearin' was here," I tell Hope as she looks up at me in astonishment with wide, innocent eyes that slowly fill with tears once more.

"How does Carson know about this place? Faith doesn't even know this is where I disappear to when I want to be alone," she asks me, her voice a whisper.

"He followed you here one day. Said he wanted to make sure you didn't wander too far from the compound or get hurt. Or lost. Yeah, that was one of the things he threw in there. Your secret is still safe because I'm the only one he told. Playboy might know, but he's not gonna say anythin'. Carson loves you, Hope. I know what I'm talkin' about. I want you to take shit slow and don't let him pressure you into doin' more than you're ready for. No, I don't want to hear anythin' about your sex life. As far as I'm concerned, you're gonna die a virgin and that's where we're gonna leave this," I answer her, a smile on my face as I pull her in for another hug and hold her close as the silence of the woods surround us.

Hope talks to me about asking Vault to work for the club in the various businesses so she can figure out what she likes and doesn't like. She talks about the possibility of taking some classes online instead of attending a college somewhere. School isn't really Hope's thing so I'm impressed she's talking about taking classes at all. It's another thing she gets from me and I've never blamed her for how she acts when it comes to homework and going to school. When it starts to get dark, Hope and I finally start to make our way back home. For the first time in a long time, I feel closer to my daughter than I have before. I regret making her cry and run out of the house, but today did end on a good note. I will miss my baby when she leaves, but this is the right decision to make. Hope deserves to be happy and there's no reason to think she won't ever come back home. Even if it's just for a visit.