Kai

KAI

I wasn't surprised that Hunter grew silent when the ride showed up to take us back to his apartment. Or even when he didn't say a word when we got back, and he walked to his room, closing the door behind him. I was worried, of course, but his silence made sense.

It was hard not to feel some sense of bitterness at the way our night had ended. It seemed like we were finally going to have something good to share between us, but the universe seemed intent on ruining every opportunity. I wasn't sure if that was the universe or something else messing with us.

"I really hope it isn't you," I muttered to the picture of Lucas on the coffee table. "Because I'm trying my best to help him. And if it isn't you, and you can do something about it, I'd appreciate the interference."

Unsurprisingly, the picture remained silent, and I sighed, dropping onto the couch. I'd changed into more comfortable clothing and put the suit back in the bag. Now, loose pants and a shirt hung loosely on me as I curled my feet beneath me.

It took precisely five seconds for a familiar orange fluffball to find its way into the crook of my legs. He curled up, squinted pleasantly at me, and immediately began to purr.

"Hey, big guy," I said absently, scratching gently behind one of his ears. "I've had kind of a rough one. How have you guys been faring?"

He continued to purr, and I resigned myself to being his petting machine for the night. Not that I hadn't been assigned the role when I arrived at the apartment.

We sat there, a couple of the other cats showing up to warm themselves on me, but I scrolled mindlessly through my phone while they made themselves comfortable. Time trickled by, and I never heard a sound from Hunter's room while I sat in the low light from the nearby lamp. That wasn't surprising; he'd looked haunted and was probably working through everything, though I wished he'd do it with me to help him.

Deep down, I suspected I knew what was going through his mind. His last words had been a vow that the man, Callum, would never find his way into the mayor position. He hadn't elaborated, but I didn't think he needed to. I thought about his research, which hadn't been all that thorough if he'd missed a detail like that. And I thought about the knife that had gone missing, even though I suspected I knew where it was…or who'd hidden it.

"Do I help him?" I asked aloud, whether to the cats, the picture, or anyone listening. An answer never came, but I knew deep down what my answer would be if asked.

After all, it wasn't a case of three men who had simply hurt or wronged my best friend. These were three sick individuals who'd violated Hunter in the worst way imaginable and then tried to kill him after already killing the man he loved. All that pain and suffering, and for what? For Hunter to be forced to try to make his life make sense again while he healed numerous wounds, and they got to live their lives free, clear, and happy?

No, in Hunter's position, I'd be thinking the exact same thing. The difference between us, though, was that my soul had already had pieces removed by taking lives. He had only taken the one, and that had been on the spur of the moment. Could he really find it in himself to follow through on his bloody plan? To plan out and execute three murders?

It was a tall order, but I saw the dark look in his eyes when he swore the man would never become mayor. Hunter was a good man and gentle by nature, but there had been nothing kind or soft in his face. And that kind of rage could either burn itself out once there was nothing left to feed on, or it could dig deep and find a place to fester and twist inside.

As dark as my thoughts were, I still found myself nodding off, my phone falling in my lap. At some point, I became vaguely aware I was not alone. Stirring back to the conscious world, I opened my eyes to find Hunter standing next to the couch with a blanket in his hand and a blank expression.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he said softly. "You looked comfortable."

"As comfortable as someone can be slumped over," I said with a chuckle, checking the time on my phone. "Shit, have you gone to bed?"

"Yeah, right," he said with a snort. He scooped up the little cat so he could drop down onto the couch beside me. "I kept thinking about that news report and hearing his voice again."

"Yeah, I…pretty much figured that was going to live rent-free in your head for a while."

"That's putting it mildly," he said, leaning against me as he finally settled in.

I wrapped my arm around him, holding him close. "If I had a way of making this better for you, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

When he didn't respond, I felt a pit form in my stomach as he frowned in thought. "Yeah…I guess."

I looked him in the eye. "Are you going to tell me what's going on in your head? Because I'm pretty sure I caught the hint earlier."

"Hint, what hint?"

"When you swore he wasn't going to get to be mayor."

"Oh, that."

"Yes, that."

He pushed his head against my arm and sighed heavily. "I've been in my room, wishing this feeling would just…go away. That I could go on living my life as best I could, continuing to rebuild the life I left behind while starting to build new ways in this place…with you."

"Tonight was kind of a shock," I told him gently. "It's not surprising that it's taken you off guard and is bothering you."

"It's not that I don't know that, but I mean, ever since that night…with the dealer."

"Well, that also makes sense. That was a pretty big event for you as well."

"And I still haven't felt any regret."

"I've heard you have a few dreams."

He looked up. "Really?"

"I still don't sleep through the night, and sometimes I roam. Sometimes I hear you. Nothing I can make out clearly to know what you're dreaming about, but…I do know you weren't doing it until after that night."

"I…" he sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I'm dreaming about that night. Not about the dealer but?—"

"When you were attacked," I said softly, hating that that was even a possibility.

"Yeah," he said, swallowing hard. "Not…clearly, but I'm dreaming about it again. Have been ever since that night. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep again because I'm going to keep dreaming about it now I've seen what Callum has been up to."

"Have you kept up with your research?" I asked because it wasn't like we could pretend he hadn't been doing it when I wasn't around.

"It's how I've kept myself busy for several hours. I thought doing all that digging, finding out what they've been doing, what their lives are like now, I might be horrified by what I was doing and thinking."

"But you weren't."

"No. Instead, I found out all three of them are fucking thriving . You saw Callum, little rich boy asshole, using his family name to get into politics. One of his buddies took over one of his daddy's businesses. Of course, he's got a whole team to make sure he doesn't fuck it up, but he's looking to expand out of Port Dale and maybe go west. And another one? Lawyer. Christ, a CEO, a lawyer, and a politician, can you imagine?"

"Wow, if there were a pack of assholes to be monsters, that would be the three I'd pick."

"Tell me about it. It's like a bad joke."

"A lawyer, a CEO, and a politician walk into a bar?—"

"Ugh."

I chuckled. "I'm afraid I don't know the rest of the joke."

"The joke is that they murdered someone and tried to murder their lover after raping them. Which isn't a very good joke."

"I…sorry. Sometimes, it's easy to forget I'm around normal people in the normal world. Dark humor is kind of our go-to over there."

He looked at me and winced. "I should be the one saying sorry. And if there's anything normal about the past two years, show me what."

I stared at him for a few seconds before sighing. "Which part? Someone being raped and almost killed? Someone they love being killed in front of them? And them getting away with it because at least one of them is rich and has connections? That's…more normal than you think, Hunter. It's pathetically more common than anyone wants to admit."

"Yeah," he said with a snort and a shake of his head. "The lowest stay low, and the high get to stay high."

"I'm not blaming you, considering the circumstances, but that's awfully bleak coming from you, of all people."

"I know," he said with the weariest of sighs. "I've been trying to tell myself life will get better, that things can…well, they can't go back to the way they were, but there's got to be a way for me to improve things. But then I think about this stuff more, and I just?—"

"Stop believing it," I guessed.

"Worse, I start believing a whole lot of other things that would have horrified me once upon a time."

"Like what?"

"Like the idea that there's no real justice in this world, just the kind you make yourself," he said with a low savagery to his voice. "And the only way I'm going to know peace is if those three never again get the chance to hurt another person."

I watched him for a few heartbeats, not surprised but sad to find I wasn't shocked by his words. Gone was the man I'd grown up with. Parts of that man were still around. I could see it more often than I couldn't. But parts of him had also been replaced or simply disappeared.

"Are you…set on that?" I asked him.

His gaze drifted to the window as he stared, a distant look in his eyes. I watched for a hint of sadness, regret, or hesitation. Instead, there was quiet contemplation, more unnerving than any savagery or rage. It wasn't the face of a man stuck in a fury or of a man doubting his own beliefs. I was left feeling that he was gearing himself up for what he was about to say and do.

"I think...I'm never going to know the peace I need without something drastic," he admitted softly. All I can think about is how much they took from me and how most of that I'll never get back. And then I find myself wondering if there are others like me—others who lost everything to their foulness, to their greed, their...monstrous urges."

"You did listen to me when I told you that story, right? This isn't a path that's easy to come back from. And the idea that it will give you peace is questionable at best."

"I already don't have peace, . It's gotten better, but every day has been a struggle to find peace. Before, it was a constant fight just to function in a way that wasn't terrifying to people."

"And I bet once upon a time, you thought that would never come, and you'd never find a chance to even strive for peace. Yet here you are, trying."

"And failing miserably."

"I know, but each step?—"

"I am tired of constantly fighting for scraps while those bastards get to live their lives without so much as a shred of worry, concern, or pain. While they could have been out there for the past two years, leaving even more people shattered and broken because they can't behave like normal people."

"I'm not sure they even know the concept of normal," I said. You don't do what they did to two ordinary people and have a ‘normal' view of life and people.

"I understand if you don't agree with me," he said, giving me a sad smile. "It isn't as if what I'm...I was going to say suggesting, but that doesn't cover it, does it? I'm making up my mind whether I want to hunt those three down and make them regret ever seeing me right before I kill them.

And there it was, the truth spoken aloud instead of alluded to or hinted at. It was strange, but that kind of bald truth-telling, although hesitant, told me more about his mindset than anything else. If he could put it into words, then he was bound and determined to put it into action.

"And I'm not asking you...anything," he added quickly. "Probably shouldn't even be telling you. Something, something, accessory before the fact if I remember my random semester of law in college."

I had to turn to face him head-on, putting my hands on his shoulders and squeezing. "Listen to me. I'm not bothered by what you're contemplating or that it sounds like you're committing yourself to that course. Not because of the legal trouble we could get into, and not because ‘ oh no, revenge is always wrong ' but...you do know this is revenge, right? Not some form of justice."

"It can be both," he said, his eyes lighting with the fire I'd seen on the street corner. "Bloody justice is still justice. Just with sharper edges and a nastier intent."

"Yeah, I guess you have a point there," I said with a wince.

"Like I said, I get it, you?—"

"No, you don't."

"Then what?"

I sighed heavily, reaching up to run my hand over the top of his head and down to the back where I held him. "When I first joined the military, it was because...well, it was a whole mess of things. I hoped it would help me get my shit together, which in its own messy way, it did. I also hoped it would give me something to work toward, to strive for, rather than drift like I was before. And it did."

"I never told you this, but," he bit his lip lightly, "I always thought the military suited you. A place for you to put all that anger into a productive space, but also because I always saw you as kind of a protector and fighter wrapped into one. Even when you told me what you'd be doing over there, yeah, I was worried, but another part of me thought that was perfect for you."

"And you were right," I said with a mirthless laugh. "I found my place in the military, and I excelled at it. I was a warrior, and maybe you could call it protector, but I'm not here to argue. At the end of the day, I always found myself thinking, even knowing that I was good at what I did, that if I had to do those things, let it be so other people wouldn't have to."

"People like me, I'm betting."

"And you'd be betting right. You were always the person I thought of. It was enough, even in the worst of times, to know that if I had to do those things so people like you and even Lucas could live normal lives, to have your little café, your apartment, your happy lives untouched by the darkness and awfulness in this world, then that's the price I would willingly pay over and over again."

"But that's not what happened."

"No, something I couldn't prevent happened to you both, and now...now you're setting yourself on a path that will bring you into the darkness I wanted you never to have more than a glimpse of."

"Would it help if I said I was sorry?"

"Not really. This isn't you doing anything wrong...well, not by my standards. Truth be told, I can't say I'd think any differently than you are right now. This world is filled with a lot of bleak shit that ruins lives left and right like they don't matter. You, Lucas, and those four men are a case in point of how good people suffer unnecessarily, and the evil ones get away with all their misdeeds."

Hunter scoffed. "Yeah, and if you do try to hold them accountable, their family pressures the cops and everyone else to give you a hard time."

"I remember you saying you were given a hard time, but you didn't go into details."

He sighed. "They threatened all sorts of things. Between the cops agreeing it was harassment since there was no evidence left to support what I said, to the family lawyers sending cease and desist letters, and even the city starting to call into question my business license."

"Christ, they went after you from every angle they could."

"And not one bit of it ever touched the news either," he said bitterly. "It was that last thing that finally made me give up trying to get help. The café was the last thing I had left of Lucas, and they were going to rip it out of my hands because I wanted the system to do its job."

In all fairness, I should have been trying to dissuade him from his current course. Common sense and decency told me that. When your best friend came up with a revenge scheme that ended in misery and death, you were supposed to step in and talk some sense into them before they went overboard.

The problem was I had always considered myself someone who lived outside the norm for a long time. I only wanted him to back off from this whole scheme to try to save what spark of light was left inside him. Going down the dark path was hard. Eventually, knowing when to stop was even harder, and not getting lost along the way was nearly impossible.

"I have a bad feeling I know what you're about to say," Hunter said, his eyes dropping. "You're going to help me."

I snorted. "You're goddamn right I'm going to help you. There's no way in hell I'll let you go through with this and not help. There's a lot of shit you need to do beforehand, and two heads are better than one."

There was also the nagging feeling that if he tried but failed to perform the coup de grace, it would require me to be there to ensure it happened. Even if I was blatantly opposed to the idea, which I wasn't because the bastards deserved whatever painful death was coming their way, I would have volunteered to ensure Hunter got through it in one piece. And if that meant me having to deliver the final blow so there were no witnesses to hunt down my best friend, then so be it.

"Shit," he said with a sigh. "I probably shouldn't have said anything."

I snorted. "Right...because I would have never been able to figure out what you were doing."

"Yeah, I guess I was pretty obvious."

"You guess?"

"Fine, then I was. Happy?"

Not particularly, but at the very least, I could tell he wasn't going to argue with me. "But, I do have a few things I need you to look at as requirements."

"Of course. Shoot."

"We plan. We plan properly, and we plan well. Do you understand? We need to make sure we plan for every eventuality. It isn't something we're going to do in one night."

"That makes sense, so you won't hear me arguing."

"And pulling off crap people don't normally try to pull off is my expertise. I get to veto any plan that's destined to get us in trouble, hurt, or killed. Even in the middle of that plan."

"I...okay, that also makes sense. I'm not happy about it, but it's hard to argue with the logic."

"As if I'm going to leave you out of the planning," I said, feeling my chest tighten. God, I was going to have him participate in an attempt to try to murder three men with planning and thought. If there was a God, then I hope he was the understanding type. "And second to last, if you want to bail out at any point, you tell me, you got it? Even if we put weeks of planning into shit, we'll drop it and go on with our lives."

He chewed on his bottom lip. "And the last thing?"

"We sit on this tonight, and if we're still for it, we start planning tomorrow. But not tonight."

I'm unsure what he expected, but relief broke over his face, and he nodded. "I think I can agree to all those."

"Oh wait?—"

"Damn."

"I also get to add rules in the future."

Hunter glared at me. "We'll discuss any new rules. I'm not agreeing to that kind of carte blanche rule."

"Pfft, fine. We'll discuss them, but if we can't agree or at least compromise on anything new, then we have to stop."

"So many rules," he said with a sigh. "But that's fine. My head is too full of...noise. I can't find it in myself to argue."

"You won't hear me complain," I said with a snort, pulling him close. "Why don't you try to get some sleep? You're not going to be of use to anyone if you can't sleep."

He eyed me with a small smile. "That seems like a tall order, considering where my head is."

"You should at least try."

"Or maybe you could come lay down with me. I could use the company."

"You sure?"

"Definitely."

"Alright, lead the way."

Which, of course, involved having to disturb the cats. Clem might be attached to me, but when it came to the others, it was pretty obvious who it was they loved the most. They all attempted to follow, but Hunter shooed them off gently before closing the door behind us.

"You realize they're going to cry and claw at the door, right?" I asked as I watched a small paw slip under the door and wiggle around as if that would magically provide a solution for the stubborn animal.

"Nah, they're pretty good after an hour," he said, pulling off his shirt and sitting on the edge of the bed. "Come get comfortable. I plan on using you for your body."

"From anyone else, I might think that was a come-on," I said, pulling off my shirt but leaving my pants on as I joined him on the bed.

"Do you normally sleep with clothes on?" he asked, looking me over as I spread out on my back.

"Weird question, but when I'm back in the States, I usually do at someone else's house."

"Wait, you slept in the buff in the military?"

I laughed. "Let's just say temperature-controlled barracks and tents weren't a thing for the military. Most of us chose to sleep naked or with underwear on. Since laundry wasn't exactly a priority, you got used to sleeping with everything hanging out."

"Interesting," he said with a laugh, surprising me by lying on his side and wrapping an arm around me. "Ever do any manly cuddling for warmth if it got cold? Wait, does it get cold?"

"It can, at night, in the cooler months," I said, curling an arm around him and feeling how warm his skin was against my hand.

His fingers began rubbing small circles against my side. "I didn't get to say it earlier because we were rudely interrupted, but...I had a fantastic time with you tonight."

"Barring certain things," I said with a chuckle.

"Yeah," he said dryly. "But everything other than that...even the talk we just had."

"Really? That makes you feel better? No, wait. That actually makes sense."

"It's like being able to fool around with you earlier," he said, his hand slipping down to rub my hip. "Talking about that, deciding to do all of that, it's...freeing."

"That's...okay, sure."

"I mean it. In a kind of fucked up way, it's like taking control of my life again. So much of my life over the past couple of years has been out of my control, with me scraping for every piece. But today? Today, I found so many pieces lying around like they were there the whole time, but I didn't realize it until now."

"Well, that's a good thing, at least."

"It's amazing, is what it is. My life is coming back into my hands, and a big reason for that is you."

"I'm just...here."

He pushed upright, and even in the dim light, I could see him glaring at me. "Don't do that. From the moment you got back, you've been by my side, helping, supporting, and showing me there's still the possibility of good things in my life despite what happened. Not to mention, I haven't felt safe in two years. Not until you came through the café doors and smiled at me. That was the first time I remembered what safety felt like, and that's because of you ."

I couldn't help but reach up and stroke his cheek as he stared down at me with the same intensity he'd shown me multiple times today. Even if I didn't want to believe him, he gave me no choice but to accept his words. I didn't know how I managed to gain the trust of someone like him and hold onto it for so long, but I was going to do everything in my power to ensure I never lost it.

I couldn't help but pull him toward me slowly and carefully. He came willingly, letting his body drape across mine as I kissed him. His warmth spread over me as I reached out to steady him by his hip, keeping one hand on the back of his head. A new warmth curled in my gut, tugging me toward him as I held on, our lips parting and tongues sliding gently over one another.

"Hunter," I breathed, feeling him growing hard against my hip. Not that I was doing much better, pressing steadily against his thigh. But the last thing I wanted was to pressure him into more sex than we'd done, considering how sensitive and out of sorts he had to be feeling after the day we'd had. "I know you're a big boy and all, but?—"

"Actually," he said, reaching down and making me stiffen in surprise when his hand wrapped around my shaft. " You're the big boy around these parts."

"Fuck," I breathed, my body tingling.

"Not tonight," he said in a low voice that sent a flash of heat rushing from my toes to my head. "Especially when I haven't had anything bigger than my dildo in the past year."

"Dildo?" I wondered.

"Yes, , sex toys exist."

"Shut up," I said with a laugh, rolling him over before realizing it was a little forceful. Yet all he did was flop onto his back and stare up at me with a smirk, demonstrating that sense of safety he apparently had with me without saying a word. "I just know you were a little off about me messing with…that area."

"With my ass."

"With your ass."

His smirk softened, and he reached up to cradle my face. "I want to want you to fuck me. And one day, it'll happen, I know that. But having another person penetrate me, even with their finger, is...that's too much right now."

"I understand," I said, kissing his neck softly. "I wasn't trying to convince you of anything."

"I know. I'm just explaining so you understand."

"We go at your pace. I was just curious."

"Just curious, huh?"

"Why don't you sound like you believe me?"

His hand slid down my side, pushing under the waistband of my pants, and wrapped around me eagerly. "Because, unless I'm mistaken, it sounded like you were more than just curious. More like...interested."

I had to take a moment to respond, considering he chose to punctuate his sentence by giving my cock a gentle stroke along with running his thumb over the head. "Y-you could say that."

"I wonder if I'll be able to pull that off," he said, sounding genuinely intrigued. "Wanna find out?"

As much as I wanted to be cautious, what came out of my mouth instead was, "Fuck yes, I do."

He chuckled at my enthusiasm and pointed toward the drawer beside his bed. Considering I was the one pinning him to the bed with my weight, I took it upon myself to roll over and open it to see what he was gesturing at. What I found was a drawer dedicated to sex, with more than one dildo, cock rings, handcuffs with leather wrapped around the cuffs, rope of some sort, lube, and a whole number of other things I wasn't able to take inventory of.

"Uh," I began. "Which...one?"

"You pick. Any of them will work."

That was the best and worst thing he could have said because my brain was running wild with the possibilities. After a moment's deliberation, I grabbed two. One looked pretty average in size, but the other was the biggest of the bunch. I noted that he hadn't been kidding when he'd said he didn't have a toy as big as me, but it was close enough to entice me. I may not be able to feel him myself, but I could enjoy the sight of something big entering him while he enjoyed himself, and that was about as close to the real thing as I was going to get for now.

"Ha," he said when he saw my choice. "Both predictable and absolutely gentlemanly."

"What?" I asked, feeling a little defensive.

"The biggest one I have so you can see what it might be like to see me opened up by your dick," he said, plucking the big one from my hand and holding it up. Then he grabbed the second, smaller one. "And one that you probably thought was small enough for me to take easily but would warm me up for the bigger one. I expected the bigger one, but the smaller one is a very polite inclusion."

"That's me, the picture of perfect manners," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Now, are you done making fun of me?"

"Hmm, for the moment," he said, undoing the string to his pants and pushing them down so he could kick them off. The result was his cock bouncing back to smack audibly against his stomach before he rolled over and came toward me.

"Hey," I protested playfully as he pushed me onto my back and grabbed hold of my pants to yank them down. My dick wasn't quite as much of a show off as his, so it only languidly slid back to rest against my stomach. It didn't have much time to rest, however, as Hunter quickly reached down and wrapped his hand around it. "I retract my complaint."

"Thought you might," he said, his eyes catching the light in the room. Which reminded me I was on the edge of the bed and reached over to turn the bedside lamp on as his mouth descended toward my dick. He blinked owlishly in the light, looking a little silly as he stared at me in confusion. "W-why?"

"If you're about to suck my dick and put on a display for me with those toys, I absolutely want to see it," I told him, holding back from asking if that was okay and letting him make that call without my butting in.

"You're so lucky I got over some of my shyness before you came along and decided to sex me up," he said and then added a wiggle of his delightful ass into the mix as if that was somehow going to help make his point.

"I will hereby consider myself luckier than I already do," I said, and then, to add some levity to the moment, I propped my head up with my hands, watching him with a smirk.

His brow shot up. "I know you're trying to be a jackass, but Jesus Christ, you pull off naked and cocky really fucking well."

"Noted," I said calmly, hoping I didn't give away that I was insanely jittery and excited like a teenager being given his first chance at some over-the-shirt action with someone.

And for someone who had supposedly struggled with shyness when he was younger, that certainly didn't show itself as I watched Hunter's mouth slide over the head of my cock. I had no idea how many times I was going to experience the rush of realizing that doing these things with Hunter was the realization of so many deeply held and hidden fantasies. Still, I hoped it didn't go away anytime soon. Just the sight made my body feel alive and more aware of every sensation than I could ever remember feeling with anyone else.

I let out a low groan as I watched him inch more of me into his mouth, performing his own little magic trick as my dick disappeared with apparent ease. That was until about the halfway point when I watched his mouth work and then grunted when I felt the head pop into his throat and be squeezed by the muscles. That was apparently all he needed, and he began to bob his way down. I gripped the sheets as I watched something I had only seen a couple of times in my life. Someone managing to successfully take my entire cock into their mouth and throat without losing control.

His eyes flashed open, and if it wasn't for the fact that his mouth was full, I could have sworn the little shit smirked. As it was, he reached for the bottle I'd grabbed earlier. Now I was torn between watching him reach back to finger himself and the sight of him still bobbing on my cock, albeit with his focus split.

That was until he groaned, sending waves of pleasure up and down my spine as I had to fight to stay in control. It was a good thing he hadn't chosen to put this little display on earlier when I was so tightly wound. I would have lost control right then. As it was, I could feel myself getting closer to the edge when he picked up the smaller toy and began to push it inside him.

"Jesus," I groaned as he held my cock in his throat, letting the muscles do the work for him as he slid the last inch of the toy in.

With that done, he gripped my hip with his free hand, leaving the toy embedded as he began to suck me in earnest. My head fell back against my hands as I let out a low groan, wanting to reach down and grip him but not wanting to overdo it. At the same time, I was riveted, watching as he thrust his hips against the bed, grinding his dick against the comforter for friction and probably moving the toy inside him at the same time.

"Okay," I said with a shaky laugh, reaching down to pull him off. "Sorry, but shit, I'm going to lose it. I'm a little out of practice at holding myself back."

He laughed. "That bad?"

"That good ," I growled, twisting so I could grab his face and kiss him. "Do you mind?"

I reached around him to make my question clearer, grabbing the base of the toy. He stiffened momentarily but didn't push me away or tell me to stop. Hoping that was a sign he was still on board, I slid it back, feeling how much he had loosened up from how smooth it went. When I pushed it back inside him gently, his eyelids fluttered, and I watched some of the tension bleed out of his face.

"I'm not...not the real thing," he said after a moment.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I'm not here to fuck you, then roll over and go to sleep. Enjoy this. I need you to enjoy this."

There was still hesitation in his expression, but he no longer looked torn between taking off and trying to ride it out. I did the only thing I could and continued fucking him with the toy, letting him figure things out for himself. If the leaking of his cock was any indication, he was enjoying it, and as I watched, he reached down and began to stroke himself.

"Okay," he said after a moment, swallowing hard. "Let's try the next step."

"You want to put the next one in?"

"I want...you to try putting the next one in."

I paused and then kissed him. "You know the drill."

"If I need out, I'll let you know."

"Good."

I grabbed the second toy, held it up, and turned it around to get a feel for the dimensions. It was smaller than me, but damned if it wasn't close enough that I was about to get a damn good show of what it would look like if I were the one fucking him. I applied plenty of lube before finally pulling the other toy out of him, earning a soft noise from him and little else.

Placing the head of the dildo against him, I carefully pushed in, watching his face carefully and his muscles for any signs that I might pick up on. After a few seconds, he shifted, and the head slipped in, making him grunt softly but he flashed me a quick smile. I took as much comfort as I could before slowly inching the toy forward. There was resistance, which was probably uncomfortable for him, but I did my best to take it slow. I'd never used a toy on a guy before, and it was trickier to measure how tight someone was without your dick inside them, but he never protested.

"Weird," he said as the last of the toy slipped into him, the silicone balls flush with his body. "That...wasn't that bad."

"Don't overthink it," I said, turning the toy slightly and smiling when he gave a soft whimper. "Just enjoy it. I know I am."

"If this is our foot in the door, maybe we should consider getting one of those molds of your dick."

"Yeah?"

"Come to think of it, even if I was able to let you fuck me, I'd want one of those. That bad boy would get so much use."

"Dirty," I said, sliding the dildo back into him, noticing immediately the difference in tension inside him.

"God," he groaned, pushing against my hand. "It feels...so much better when someone else is doing it. Fuck."

"As you wish," I said with a chuckle as I began using the toy in earnest. I wasn't using force, not wanting to trigger anything in his head when he was already taking chances. There would always be time for us to be more adventurous. Right now, we were making more progress than I thought possible, considering the problems he'd faced already.

If the pace I built was too much for him, he was doing a damn fine job holding in his discomfort. Instead, I was being given a preview of what it would be like if it was my cock inside him instead of a toy. His body was wire tight as his legs curled up, clearly eager to give me as much access to the toy as possible. His eyes were barely open as he groaned, hands gripping his thighs with enough ferocity I could see red marks forming on his skin.

"Oh God," he groaned. "I don't want to jerk off. I'll come right now."

"Then do it."

"I want you to come."

That hadn't been on my mind, even with the aching hardness of my dick, but I wasn't in the right state of mind to argue. Instead, I rolled to my knees, almost like I was the one fucking him. He pushed against my shoulders without hesitation as I gripped the toy with one hand and my dick with the other.

Looking down as I continued to fuck him with the toy, I could feel the pleasure I'd been ignoring finally come back to full strength. He was stretched out beneath me, his face flushed, twisted with pleasure, as his cock smeared all over his stomach, and he took the large dildo like an absolute champion. With a heavy groan, I felt my orgasm slam into me as I pulled the toy out so only the head was inside.

I aimed my cock down, and I watched as Hunter's eyes grew wide, understanding what I was about to do. His legs shook against me as I came hard, splattering the dildo with my cum as I hunched forward, my body trying to bury itself into a hole it hadn't touched yet. Ecstasy rolled through me, but the real pleasure was pushing the cum covered toy into him and watching the ecstatic pleasure wash over his face as he realized what I'd done.

"Oh fuck ," he groaned loudly, reaching for himself.

I beat him to it, though, taking him in my mouth and continuing to fuck him with the cum covered toy as I took him down to the root. His body spasmed beneath me, his cock twitching in my throat as he came hard. His voice rose into a shout that made me glad we were the only people in the building while looking forward to making him do that again soon.

When it was done, he collapsed bonelessly onto the bed, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his eyes closed. Carefully, I pulled the dildo out, smiling when I heard the noise I'd heard a couple of bottoms make in the past. The soft sound of discomfort and a little protest as they were left feeling empty. Maybe one day I would get to experience the smug pleasure of knowing he was making that noise because it was my dick being pulled out of him, but for now, I was looking at a well fucked Hunter, and there were few things in life as good looking as that.

As shaky as I was from the powerful orgasm, it also looked like I was the only one who could move. So I took it upon myself to clean us both up as best I could before getting into bed with him. After giving the comforter up as lost, I replaced it with another one.

"Gonna need a towel next time," he finally said once he recovered the ability to speak.

"Probably should have thought of that."

"I got lost in the moment."

"Same."

He rolled to face me, wrapped in my arms, and looked content and cozy. "Did you just find a way to come inside me without actually putting your dick in me?"

"Seems I did, always was good at improvising on the fly."

"Mmm, I thought my brains were going to leak out of my ears after that orgasm. Didn't see that coming."

"Well, well, someone has a breeding kink."

"It's hardly a kink. A lot of people I know like it when a guy comes in them. I'm not special."

"You are to me," I told him, placing my forehead against his and breathing deeply as I held him. "Thank you for trusting me with...everything."

"There's no one I've trusted as much as you," he said, and then probably because anyone would have wondered in my position, he added, "Lucas. I loved him, and I always will. But I've also always loved you. In my own way, in a way that was held back, I don't have to hold back anymore."

"No, we don't have to, do we?" I asked with a smile. "We can just...be ourselves now. Completely."

"Absolutely," he said, closing his eyes. "If you meant what you said earlier. Then I think you should know there's a good chance I won't change my mind about all this. I'm done living in a world where those three get to walk around, floating in their perfect little bubbles where their crimes go unpunished. Where they might be able to do it again."

"I understand."

"For all we know, they could be out there doing the same thing to someone else. Some poor fuckers who don't even know what's coming their way until it's too late. How likely do you think that is?"

There was no way to avoid the truth; we were already deep enough that lying didn't serve either of us. "I think...that if you weren't the first ones, you definitely weren't the last. I don't think people like that can do something like that to people and ever behave normally again. If you were the first, you two were the first taste, but I don't think that's the case."

"What do you mean?"

"Because people usually don't just snap and do something that...methodical. It starts small. Little cruelties, learning what you can get away with or how to get away with them. As they get better, they expand and start doing more, doing worse things. You don't hop from rape to murder in one go."

"Or, maybe beating the shit out of two guys and raping them finally gave them the courage to kill someone."

It could be, but I doubt you two were the first people they hurt. Maybe the first ones they hurt that badly, but not the first."

"And those kinds of monsters don't stop."

"No, not usually. And with a family like Callum's at his back?—"

"They could keep on going."

"Yeah."

"And probably have."

"Yeah."

There were a lot of things I could tell him, but now wasn't the time to open the mental files I'd built up over years of working with the military. I'd had to work with Intelligence several times, and the things I'd learned would probably prove very useful. For now, though, I wanted us to finish the night with something other than the upcoming revenge.

"We haven't said it since I got back or since everything...changed between us," I told him, holding him tightly. "I love you. I haven't stopped loving you for as long as we've known each other."

His eyes never opened, but his lips curled into a gentle smile. "I love you too. And I don't picture that changing anytime soon."

"That's good to know," I chuckled, kissing his forehead. "Sleep. We've got busy times ahead of us if you're right about where your head will be tomorrow, and we'll need the rest."

He didn't argue, just nodded silently and curled up against my chest. I held him there for an unknown amount of time. My hand curled around his neck, where I could feel his heart begin to slow. Eventually, his breathing evened into a monotonous pace, and I smiled, sensing calm in him, which probably hadn't been there for quite some time. I hoped he would be free of the nightmares that often plagued him, at least for the night.

Especially because more death and pain were coming our way.