8. Drunk at a Demon Drag Show

Chapter eight

Drunk at a Demon Drag Show

Together, Toni and Oliver managed to carry all the drinks back to the table and pass them out. Oliver sat down beside Gem and tasted his cocktail. It was fruity but not too sweet, and he settled more comfortably in the booth as the lights on the stage started to flash. The music lowered in volume a moment before a booming voice spoke over the speakers.

Everything was obviously in their demonic language, so Oliver followed Gem's reactions, clapping when he did.

"You're gonna love this," he whisper-shouted in Oliver's ear as all the stage lights winked out.

Since they were so close to the stage, Oliver could see several demons step onto it and take their positions. They all had long hair and looked female. When the lights flared to life, the glittering jumpsuits they wore sparkled like disco balls.

Zef wasn't on stage, and Oliver shot Toni a confused look. The shark demon waved his hand as if to say, "be patient." The music started, and the glittering women began to dance.

The song was unfamiliar, but Oliver found himself tapping his foot to the beat. When the women struck a pose at the same time, the curtains parted, the spotlight landing on a tall, thin figure wearing a slinky, sparkly evening dress. Their white hair was curled, and their green skin had been polished smooth, their face painted femme.

"Oh my god," Oliver said as Zef opened their milky white eyes, raised their four arms, and began to sing.

Their voice was airy and smooth, sultry in a way Oliver hadn't expected. They stepped forward, the slits in their dress revealing their smooth, green legs and strappy heels that nearly rivaled Gem's in height.

"Demon drag show!" Jude shouted as everyone in the audience whistled and cheered. He pointed emphatically and grinned at Oliver. "It's a demon drag show!"

Cupping his hands around his mouth, Oliver cheered as Zef and their back-up dancers—who Oliver suspected were also in drag—began to dance. Gem and Willow sang along, knowing all the lyrics to the demon pop song. Toni tucked several fingers into his mouth and whistled as Glyma clapped along to the beat.

Quin and Rusty held the table down as Tad jumped to her feet in the center of it and started screaming and flailing in excitement. The energy of the audience, as well as the performers on stage, was contagious, and Oliver found himself joining in, whooping and hollering as Zef and their dancers put on a show.

"Are they lip-syncing?" Oliver shouted at Gem over the music.

"No, that's their voice," Gem yelled back.

"They're so good!"

"I know! I perform with them sometimes, but I can't sing for shit."

"This next one, my lovelies," Zef said in English, their voice deeper and sexier than normal, "is for my new friend, Oliver."

They pointed right at him and waved, and Oliver's cheeks ached from smiling as he waved back.

The music changed to something familiar, but Oliver couldn't place it right away. That is until Zef brought the microphone back to their mouth and started singing the pre-chorus to It's Raining Men by The Weather Girls. Jude jumped to his feet, reaching over Gem to drag Oliver with him, and they cheered and sang along, screaming about getting absolutely soaking wet when Zef pointed the microphone in their direction.

The demons at their table laughed at them, Gem nearly crying as he slapped the table with several hands. Toni had his phone out, clearly recording every moment, but Oliver couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed, even with the crowd of demons in the audience behind him.

Zef didn't sing the entire song, the music transitioning smoothly back into a demon number that had Gem dancing in his seat. Oliver and Jude fell back into the booth, laughing and clapping. Oliver gulped down his drink, throat already sore from his shouting as the Mantodea continued their set.

They performed several songs, most of them sexy and sultry, moving their lithe body in ways Oliver honestly hadn't believed them capable of, especially given their distaste for sex. But Oliver knew enough about drag culture to know that the persona on stage didn't always match the personality of the performer in real life.

And Zef was clearly enjoying themself, moving in synchronized rhythm with their dancers as they belted into the microphone. The dancers interacted at times, moving and touching each other, but even with Zef matching their sensual energy, no one made physical contact with them.

When they sang their final note and everyone on stage struck their poses, the club erupted with cheers and whistles. Everyone at their table rose to their feet and clapped, Tad shrieking like a lunatic as she chanted Zef's name. They smiled and blew her a kiss.

Struggling to catch their breath, Zef introduced the main performer for the night—an Orc demon drag queen of immense size called The Madame—then slipped backstage. Toni and Rusty, who had disappeared at some point, returned with another round of drinks.

Halfway through The Madame's performance, she invited Jude on stage where she tucked a hot pink shot between her large breasts—real or fake, Oliver couldn't tell—and told Jude to "dive right in, morsel."

Jude, of course, dove right in, and when he stumbled back to the table, face flushed, smile wide and loose, Oliver shook him by the shoulder and laughed. "That was awesome!"

"I don't know what was in that shot," Jude wheezed, pupils slightly dilated, "but it was strong."

The drinks kept coming, and by the time the performance ended, Oliver was feeling good. Granted, Jude was feeling even better because he leaned over the table at Toni and slurred, "You're sexy and frightening."

Toni grinned darkly. "Oh baby, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Oliver wrapped an arm around Jude's shoulders and scowled at Toni, but the demon merely shrugged and nursed his drink.

As The Madame and Zef—who had returned for the final number—left the stage, Oliver slumped back into the booth and exhaled heavily. "That was the greatest thing I've ever seen."

Gem nodded as he sucked his ice-blue drink through an orange straw. "Right? The Madame is one of the most popular performers in Lust, and Zef has been her opener for about a year now." Gem waved down a passing server, and a few minutes later, they returned with a tray of shots. "Shots, motherfuckers!"

Quin and Glyma rose and shimmied out from the booth. "We're gonna head out," Quin said as Glyma giggled, her purple cheeks flushed a darker shade of lilac.

"No!" Gem wailed, but Quin was already leading Glyma away.

"Tell Zef they did great. We'll see you all Monday. Try not to get yourselves in trouble." Quin glared at them all as Glyma snorted, clearly a lightweight.

"I'll keep them in line," Rusty said.

They bid their bosses farewell, then Gem passed out the shots. Since Glyma and Quin had left, they had two extras, which Gem and Toni claimed. No one offered one to Rusty, and he knocked back the rest of his tonic as Gem raised his two shots into the air.

As music blared over the speakers, Gem shouted, "Bottom's up, bitches!"

Everyone except Rusty threw back their shots, and fuck, if the liquor didn't burn all the way down.

Time grew blurry after that. At some point, Zef joined them, no longer dressed as their femme, stage persona, though their hair was still curled. When the bar gave a last call, Gem declared that everyone was coming back to his place to keep the party going, and no one objected.

Being the only sober one, Rusty wrangled them out of the bar. Tad—who was the only demon Oliver had seen Zef touch—had climbed up Zef's body and was now perched on their shoulders, feet dangling down their chest. Willow and Gem walked together, linked at the elbows as they sang one of the songs Zef had performed. Loudly.

Toni had his arm slung around Jude's neck, and they were cackling about something Oliver had missed. Rusty walked at the edge of the group, eyes alert as he kept them together and made sure no one stumbled out into the street.

"So, like, they just chopped 'em off?" Toni asked, and Jude nodded.

" Chop, chop, chop! " Jude said, popping his p's drunkenly. "Tits be gone, bitch."

"That's fucking wild!" Toni said with a lazy grin. "Like, don't get me wrong, I like tits just fine. But if you don't want 'em, then, like, fuck them tits, you know?"

"Fuck them tits!" Jude hollered as he started unbuttoning his purple llama shirt. "You wanna see my scars?"

"Don't take off your clothes!" Oliver cried, and Jude scowled at him.

"I'm just showing him my scars! God, what are you, my mother?"

"Yeah, are you his mother?" Toni echoed.

Oliver flipped them both off. "Shut up, Toni. You just want him to take off his clothes so you can sleep with him."

"That's offensive to my… dignity or something," Toni sniffed haughtily, before grinning down at Jude like he wanted to take a bite out of him right there on the street. "Though, baby, you fine as hell."

Jude giggled. "Thank you. Oliver, Toni thinks I'm fine."

"Gross," Rusty muttered at the same time Oliver said, "Do not fuck my co-worker, Jude!"

Pouting, Jude stumbled into Toni's side. "Whatever. Just 'cause you haven't had sex in eight months doesn't mean the rest of us should suffer."

"Eight months!" Gem shrieked, spinning around with Willow still linked to his arm. "You haven't had sex in eight months?"

Since the sidewalk was still teeming with people, Oliver blushed under the immediate attention of everyone on the block. "Why don't you say it louder, Gem!"

"Oh, sorry," Gem whisper-shouted as he released Willow and staggered toward him. "Sorry, I just—eight months is a long-ass time. You got to get laid. I'm gonna get you laid!"

Trapping Oliver against him with several of his arms, Gem fell into step beside him, a drawling accent bleeding through his normally carefully constructed voice. "So, like, what are you into? You like dick, right? Wait, of course you like dick. You sang that Raining-Men song with way too much gusto for someone who doesn't suck cock. But are you only into dick?"

"Um, I'm into vibes more than genitals."

"Aw, that's beautiful," Gem said with a hard pat to his cheek. "I know a lot of hot people. I can hook you up. You into tails or wings or fur? Or like… spikes? I have this friend, but they have spikes on their back and they, like"—Gem pantomimed nonsensically—"shoot out when they come. So either they have to top you all the time or ride your dick. If you fuck them from behind, they'll probably impale you. You into that?"

"Being impaled?" Oliver squeaked.

"I mean, I'm not gonna kink-shame, babe."

"No, Gem, I don't want to be impaled during sex. I don't want to be impaled ever!"

"Good call," Toni said sagely. "Smort."

"Okay, fine," Gem said. "I'm just trying to be helpful. No spikes!"

Gem stumbled on the uneven pavement, shoving Oliver into the oncoming flow of pedestrians, and he yelped as he collided with one. Their shoulders knocked, and had Gem not been holding onto him, Oliver probably would have gone down.

The demon he'd smashed into did not have that luxury, however, and Oliver watched in horror as they tumbled to the sidewalk with a yelp.

"Oh fuck! I'm sorry," Oliver crouched down and reached out, hand hovering over his arm. "Are you okay? That was super shitty of me, and I am so, so sorry."

"You should probably watch where you're going," the demon said in a smooth but annoyed voice.

"Yes, you're one hundred percent right. I'm sorry. Here, let me—" Oliver grabbed the demon's arm to help him up and nearly jerked away. His skin seemed to buzz with static electricity, and it caused the hairs on Oliver's arm to stand on end.

Gritting his teeth against the odd sensation, he helped the demon to his feet, releasing him the moment he could, that instinctual fear of getting shocked sending his heart racing.

"You're kinda shocky, you know that?" Oliver slurred, and the demon made an unimpressed noise as he brushed the dirt from his pants.

He was shorter than Oliver, but not by much, and his hair was flat and thick, reminding Oliver of seaweed. His skin was murky brown, though the color lightened the farther down his body it went. The tips of his fingers were entirely yellow, and though Oliver couldn't see his legs or feet, he wondered if they would be yellow too.

Not that it was any of his business what color this demon's legs were. That was a weird thing to wonder, and he blamed it on the alcohol.

"Oh shit, that was definitely my fault," Gem said as he lurched over, derailing Oliver's inebriated train of thought. "I tripped and totally pushed him. Don't blame the human. I know they're usually super uncoordinated, but this one is definitely on me."

With a sigh, the demon tilted his head to look up at Oliver and Gem. His bright yellow eyes clashed with Oliver's, and the demon stiffened, surprise coloring his expression.

"Seriously, it was so my fault. If you ruined your clothes, I'll totally CashApp you," Gem continued to ramble, accent thickening with every word he spoke. "Well, depending on the price tag. What are you wearing? Oh shit, that's Kipsie Killer. I cannot afford that! Maybe we can set up a payment plan or something? I can't get a loan. Trust me, I've tried. But I already have too much credit card debt."

Oliver tore his gaze away from the yellow-eyed demon and gaped at Gem. "What are you even talking about?"

Gem shook his head. "I don't remember, but now, I'm super bummed out."

"It's fine," the demon interrupted, bringing Oliver's attention back to him. "No harm, no foul."

"You're not hurt?" Oliver reached out to touch him again but stopped himself. Touching strangers, especially strangers who had static electricity humming along their skin, was a bad idea.

"No," he said, offering Oliver a slightly uncomfortable smile. "I'm quite alright."

Oliver heaved a sigh of relief and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "Okay. I am really, really sorry."

"Don't worry about it," the demon said graciously.

Gem hovered, eyes jumping between the two. The demon watched Oliver with an odd expression on his face. Expectant, like he was waiting for something. Oliver offered him a sheepish smile, his drunk brain trying to figure out what exactly the demon was waiting for. He'd already apologized, right?

Honestly, he couldn't remember, so he opened his mouth to apologize again, but what came out instead was, "Your eyes are wicked cool."

The demon somehow looked even more at a loss. "How is this happening again?" he whispered, and Oliver frowned.

"What?"

"You… I…" Understanding dawned on the demon's face, and his brown cheeks darkened in a blush, expression somehow betraying disappointment. "Never mind."

"Right," Oliver said.

"Okay," the demon said.

"Your hair looks like seaweed. Or is it tentacles? I can't tell," Oliver slurred, and the demon blinked at him. "Also, you have a nice face. Like it's a really nice face."

"Seriously, how is this happening again?" the demon said.

Leaning in between them, Gem grinned giddily. "I am sensing some vibes!"

"Oh my god, you're still here?" Oliver glared at Gem as he wriggled in excitement.

"Um, of course, and a good thing too. I'm gonna wingman the shit out of this!"

Horror like Oliver had never known washed over him. "Oh Jesus, please don't!"

"Ignore him, he doesn't know what he's saying." Gem said to the demon, propping an elbow on Oliver's head. "Hey. Hi. I'm Gem. But enough about me. I want to know about you. Are you into humans? More specifically, humans with dicks? 'Cause Oliver here, he's human. He has a dick. And he's literally the best."

"Um, Gem, maybe you should—" Rusty started.

Gem waved a hand at him. "Shush, I'm wingmanning!"

"Oh shit, he's bad at that," Toni called from somewhere up ahead of them. "Someone stop him!"

"Now, Oliver has had a bit of a dry spell," Gem continued like he hadn't heard, patting Oliver's head condescendingly. "He's a little sensitive about it, but it's nothing a bit of lube won't loosen right up."

"Oh my god, please tell me this is a nightmare," Oliver whimpered.

"Gem, I don't think—" Rusty tried again.

"Seriously," Toni yelled. "You gotta stop him early before he really gets going!"

Completely ignorant of everything else happening around him, Gem carried on talking, "He's funny and cute, and—how's your head? Like giving head?" Gem said in Oliver's ear without lowering the volume of this voice. "I don't wanna make promises you can't keep, you know? So, you up to date on your oral skills?"

"Gem," Oliver seethed, and Gem's eyes widened.

"Oh, you're not? Fuck. That's fine. I can still spin this." Turning back to the demon—who was now looking at Gem and Oliver like they were insane—Gem said, "Okay, so maybe he sucks at blowjobs, but he's good at other things. Like… math!"

"I don't suck at blowjobs," Oliver cried.

Stepping back, looking entirely offended, Gem said, "Do not yell at me! How am I supposed to know if you're good at blowjobs? You've never blown me. You've never even offered."

"Because I don't want to blow you, Gem!"

Somehow, Gem had the audacity to say, "Well, that's hurtful."

"Rusty, do something!" Oliver begged, and Rusty looked around in a panic.

"Uh, Gem, look! Shirtless Incubus with an eight pack."

Gem spun around with a gasp. "Ooh, where!"

Facing the yellow-eyed demon, Oliver searched for something— anything —to say to make this better. But really, there was no fixing any of it. So he said, "I'm so sorry. You're way too hot to remember me this way, so maybe you could get blackout drunk and forget all about this? You'd really be doing me a solid. 'Kay, bye."

Then he helped Rusty drag Gem away, leaving the demon he'd knocked over—and probably traumatized forever—standing frozen on the sidewalk, gazing after them like he was contemplating calling a mental hospital to come pick them up. Honestly, Oliver hoped he did. A lobotomy sounded like the most logical next step after the absolute disaster he'd just survived.

"There is no shirtless Incubus," Gem hissed, ripping free of Oliver and Rusty's grasps. "How dare you promise me something so beautiful and then just take it away!"

Gem glanced back to where the demon had finally rejoined the group he'd been walking with before the whole debacle. "Oh, he's leaving! Did you get his number?"

"In what universe would anyone have given me their number after what you just said?" Oliver screeched.

Blinking his many eyes, Gem rubbed at his ear. "That was shrill." He cleared his throat, then cupped a hand around his mouth and shouted down the sidewalk, making everyone in the vicinity stare. Again. "Oliver works at the Passing Through Cafe in Purgatory."

"Don't tell strangers where I work!" Oliver whined.

Ignoring him, Gem finished his shout with, "You know, in case you want his number."

Oliver glared at the Araknis.

Gem beamed back at him proudly.

Then Tad clapped and crowed, "This is the best night ever!"