4. Welcome to the Freak Show

Chapter four

Welcome to the Freak Show

The train through the veil rocked under Oliver's feet, and he checked the time on his phone for what felt like the millionth time just to make sure he wasn't running late this time. He wasn't, and since his destination was Purgatory itself, he wasn't too worried as he crossed through the veil.

He didn't know how it worked exactly. It had taken a lot of collaboration between humans and demons to build it, and he was sure some sort of demon magic was involved since humans had yet to invent inter-dimensional travel before demons made themselves known to mankind. All he did know was that it worked, because ten minutes later, the train rolled to a stop in Purgatory station.

Nerves bubbled to life in his gut as he left the station and crossed the teal sand toward the cafe. It was just before two thirty in the afternoon, so the cafe wasn't too busy. A few tables were full, but there was no one in line waiting to order. Gem was hunched behind the espresso machine, and judging from the parts strewn across the counter, he was taking it apart to clean it.

Rusty was wiping down the bakery case, and Willow was checking cupboards and measuring supplies with a clipboard in her hand. She spotted him first, and she sent him a shy smile and a soft, "Hello, Oliver."

At the sound of Oliver's name, Gem's head popped, his eight eyes locking onto him. "You're here!" he shrieked before literally climbing over the counter. Given his ridiculous height, he managed it easier than anyone had a right to, and his long legs ate up the distance between them in seconds before he was hauling Oliver off his feet entirely and into a suffocating, six-armed hug. "I was so excited when Glyma told me you were coming."

"Hey, Gem," Oliver wheezed, patting the demon's back awkwardly.

The hug was over almost as quickly as it began, and Gem set him down and stepped back, gray cheeks darkening in a blush. "Sorry, that was inappropriate. Toni says I'm bad at the whole ‘personal boundaries' thing. I'm working on it, though, I swear."

"It's fine. I don't mind."

Gem made a strange, low sound—more of a vibration than anything actually audible—that Oliver took to be satisfaction as two of his right arms reached for him again. The lower arm hooked through Oliver's, linking them at the elbows, as the middle arm wrapped around his shoulders.

Apparently Gem had meant what he said about them being best friends. It made Oliver's chest warm.

"So this is the human," a smooth baritone said, and Oliver turned away from Gem's animated face in search of its owner.

A pair of pure black eyes met his, and Oliver swallowed thickly as the obsidian gaze raked down his body, then back up, locking with Oliver's again. Those eyes were endless pits, like the deepest recesses of the Mariana Trench; if Oliver fell into them, he didn't think he'd ever find his way back out of that abyss.

The demon's skin was a bluish-gray with darker stripes along the sides of his face, neck, and exposed arms. Gills framed his throat, fluttering slightly with every inhale, and thin, fragile looking fins flared out along his biceps and forearms, exposed by the sleeveless shirt he wore.

"Well, aren't you a tasty morsel?" The demon grinned, revealing jagged shark teeth, and Oliver may have squeaked like a mouse, though he'd deny it to his dying day.

Gem huffed. "Toni, don't be an asshole. You're scaring him!"

Between one blink and the next, Toni's entire demeanor changed. His predatory posture melted into a relaxed pose as he lounged against the counter, deranged smile taking on a bro-like grin.

"Aw, Gemmy, you never let me have any fun," Toni pouted, shooting Oliver wink. "You should have heard the way his little human heart was racing."

"He's already scared of demons wanting to eat him," Gem snapped. "Let's not perpetuate harmful stereotypes!" Once they were within touching distance, one of Gem's arms shot out and smacked Toni's shoulder.

The shark demon laughed and jumped out of Gem's long reach. "Okay, okay, damn. I was just teasing." He rounded the bakery case and swaggered over in a pair of well-worn, unlaced shitkicker boots, extending a gray and blue striped hand. "Sorry, man. I was just fucking with you. Welcome to Purgatory, baby."

"Uh, thanks." Oliver chuckled warily as he shook Toni's hand. "I'm Oliver."

"I know. Gem wouldn't shut up about you last night."

Gem's eyes widened as his face darkened in another blush. "Wow, way to make me sound like a psycho."

Clearly unapologetic, Toni shrugged and flicked an indigo wave of hair out of his eyes. The rest of his hair had been slicked back, but the stubborn chunk fell right back over his forehead. He gestured for Oliver and Gem to follow him as he turned and headed back around the counter. A large shark fin protruded from the center of his back, his shirt split to allow it freedom. This, too, had dark grayish-blue stripes.

"Toni's full of shit, you know," Gem whispered as he tugged Oliver along. "He wouldn't hurt a fly."

Eyeing the demon's sharp grin, Oliver didn't think he believed him, but he kept his thoughts to himself.

As they rounded the bakery case, Toni held the swinging hip-high door so Gem and Oliver could pass. Oliver grabbed the corner with a grateful smile, and Toni gave his shoulder a good-natured smack. The jolt caused him to lose his grip on the door, and it swung violently, but instead of continuing its pendulum rotation, it smashed into something hard with a crunch.

The demons all winced, and Oliver froze.

"You killed Bob!" Willow shrieked a moment later, and Oliver whirled around in horror.

"What? Who's Bo—ahh, what in the holy hell is that?" he cried as he staggered back into Gem, who automatically wrapped several arms around him.

Squashed between the swinging door and the bakery case was a ginormous burnt orange bug the size of a large rabbit. Its exoskeleton dented in where the door had squished it, and its many spindly, segmented legs twitched feebly before going still.

"That's Bob," Toni said with a shake of his head. "Oh man, Glyma is not gonna be happy. The last thing we need is another dead body."

"Another?" Oliver said at the same time Willow burst into tears.

"Oh, Willow, calm down. Bob's not actually dead." Gem patted Oliver's side in comfort. "I don't think a nuclear bomb could kill that thing."

"What is it?" Oliver demanded again.

The other demons exchanged looks, then they all shrugged.

"We don't actually know," Rusty said, scratching behind his ear.

"He just showed up one day and started cleaning," Gem added. "Glyma didn't have the heart to kick him out, so he stayed."

"He sleeps in Quin's office," Willow said.

"And eats the food people leave on their plates," Toni said.

"That's disgusting," Oliver said.

Gem flicked his ear. "Don't judge. Bob is a valued member of this team."

"Even if he doesn't get paid," Rusty said.

"Free lodging and food is payment," Willow countered.

"Yeah, but he gets stepped on all the time, and the new guy just squashed him!" Rusty pointed emphatically to the still pinned bug.

"Is anyone gonna free him, or are we all just gonna stare?" Toni said.

Pushing past Oliver, Willow carefully opened the door and crouched down next to the stunned cockroach-thing. "Bob, are you alright?"

Selfishly, Oliver hoped he wasn't. He didn't want to face the reality of rabbit-sized cockroaches who apparently worked for the cafe and slept in the office.

After a moment of bated silence, the bug screeched and wriggled back to life. It shook like a dog exiting a bathtub, then turned to Willow, antennas trembling. The feathery ends danced along Willow's bark-like arms, and the Dryad sighed in relief.

She beamed up the rest of them. "He's okay."

"Told you," Gem said with another comforting pat to Oliver's waist.

"Um, good, I'm glad he's—fuck!" Oliver nearly climbed up Gem's body when Bob turned his bulbous head in his direction and screeched at him, spiky legs clickety-clacking across the floor.

"You should apologize," Toni said with a frown. "You did almost kill him."

"It'd be pretty rude not to," Gem agreed.

Clearing his throat, Oliver released his death grip on Gem's shirt and croaked, "Sorry, Bob."

Bob said, "Skree!" then skittered through the door Willow held open and disappeared down the hallway that Oliver assumed led to Quin's office.

"You seriously don't know what he is?" Oliver asked, and Gem shook his head.

"Nope. We just started calling him Bob, and he seemed to like it," he said nonchalantly, like they were discussing the weather.

"How do you know he likes it?"

"Willow can tell," Toni supplied.

Willow rose to her rooted feet and wiped at the drying tears on her cheeks. "Bob forgives you," she said with a wet smile.

"Wonderful," Oliver said flatly.

"It seems I have missed something exciting," a wispy, lilting voice broke in, and Oliver took a deep breath to mentally prepare himself for meeting yet another possible coworker.

A rail-thin demon with light green skin and four arms stood in the doorway to the kitchen, insectoid wings fluttering behind them. They had long, thin white hair and huge, milky compound eyes that blinked lazily at Oliver. Their face was shaped like a teardrop, their chin harshly pointed. And instead of a prominent nose, they had two slits that flared when they inhaled.

"Bob got squashed again," Toni explained, and the newcomer nodded slowly.

"Ah, a tragedy to be sure. I assume he survived the ordeal?" they said, never taking their creepy eyes off Oliver.

"Yeah, Bob's tough," Gem said, giving Oliver a push in the demon's direction. "This is Oliver. He's interviewing with Glyma today. Ollie, this is Zef. They work in the kitchen with Toni."

Zef placed a four-digit hand on their chest and bowed slightly. "Oliver, a pleasure to meet you."

"Hi," Oliver said weakly, trying not to stare. There was something so unnervingly inhuman about Zef, but Oliver didn't want to be rude. So he hiked up his big boy pants and offered his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Zef."

Gem made a strangled noise as he hurriedly grabbed Oliver's arm and pushed it back down to his side. "No, no. Zef's a Mantodea. It's culturally offensive to try to touch them unless they initiate first."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Oliver spluttered.

Zef shook their head, their antennas swaying with the motion. "An honest mistake. We have much to learn from each other, do we not?" They offered a minuscule, tight-lipped smile, and it somehow managed to set Oliver at ease.

"Yeah, I guess we do." He craned his neck to look up at Gem. "Is there any other cultural stuff I should know? I don't want to offend anyone."

Gem simpered and yanked him into another crushing hug, squealing like a child. "Aww, he's so cute! Glyma, can we keep him? Please!"

A throaty laugh filtered through the air and glided over Oliver's skin like silk. It made his heart skip a beat for some weird reason, and he stiffened in Gem's embrace.

"She's a Succubus," Gem hissed in his ear. "Try not to get a boner."

"What?" he whimpered, but Gem didn't give him time to process or prepare before he was spinning Oliver around to face the two demons standing in the mouth of the hallway.

One was short and thin and a brilliant shade of red. A tipped, devil tail swayed behind her, and her black dreads were piled into a knot on top of her head between the two horns curling like a ram's above her ears. She wore a dark blue power suit but no shoes, revealing her cloven hooves.

Quin, Oliver assumed, since Gem had called her a Daemon.

Beside her was possibly the most beautiful woman Oliver had ever seen. She was taller than Quin, nearly as tall as he was, and the softest shade of lilac. Her hot pink eyes crinkled at the edges as she smiled at him, revealing two little fangs. Her purple tail curled around Quin's wrist, the fluffy tuft at the end stroking her partner's wrist.

Her flip flops smacked against the galaxy floor as she approached, a black apron dusted with flour cinched around her waist, accentuating her glorious curves, and—oh god, Oliver could not get a boner right now!

"Hi," he blurted, much too loudly, and the other demons around him jumped. "I mean, hello," he said at a more natural volume. "Hi, I'm Oliver. You must be Glyma. Thank you so much for the job—I mean, for interviewing me for the job. And for the job, too, if you decide to give it to me. Ha ha, oh my god, I'm so sorry."

Glyma's smile widened at his insane drivel. "Hello, Oliver," she said, and hell, her voice was… it was just lovely. "I am so happy to meet you. Gem has done nothing but sing your praises."

"We just met yesterday."

Shooting Gem a knowing a smile over Oliver's shoulder, she chuckled again, and Oliver wanted to melt into a puddle at her flip-flopped feet. "He has good instincts about people. I trust him."

"Cool," Oliver said, voice breaking on that one word. His face was on fire, and he was pretty sure his heart was about to beat right out of his chest from panic. Because he was making a complete fool out of himself in front of everyone, including the boss he was trying to impress.

"Gem, you're such a bitch," Toni whisper-shouted, hip checking Gem. To Oliver, he said, "He does this every time he gets someone an interview. He always forgets to mention that Glyma's a Succubus."

Gem leaned against the back counter, a shit-eating grin on his face. "Oops."

Oliver barely resisted flipping the Araknis off.

"I hope they haven't overwhelmed you," Glyma said, bringing his attention back to her. "They can be a lot."

"They've been… welcoming," he said diplomatically.

"Good. I don't want them scaring you off just yet." She motioned back toward the hallway. "Shall we take this to Quin's office?"

Casting one last panicked look at the demons behind him, Oliver allowed Glyma to lead him away. Gem sent him six thumbs-up as Toni waggled his indigo eyebrows inappropriately. Rusty gave Toni a disgruntled look before he rolled his eyes. Willow offered him a supportive smile as Zef watched on blankly, those insect wings twitching.

"You do realize you work here, right? Do your jobs," Quin barked at the group, and they all jumped into action.

Zef and Toni disappeared into the kitchen as Willow returned to her spot at the register to help the customers queuing up. Rusty started folding to-go boxes for the baked goods, and Gem scrambled to reassemble the espresso machine.

"Fucking clowns," Quin muttered as she followed behind Oliver and Glyma.

"Oh, love, they're just excited," Glyma dismissed with another smile at Oliver. "You seem to have won them over already."

"I don't know how," he answered honestly, and oh, how the Succubus laughed.

The interview itself was the strangest job interview Oliver had ever experienced. Glyma didn't ask him much about his professional background or skills. She was much more interested in him as a person, and when he mentioned growing up on a dude ranch, they'd delved down that rabbit hole with gusto.

"Are demon's allowed to visit?" she asked at some point, reaching out to Quin who sat in a folding chair beside her. "That would be amazing, wouldn't it, babe?"

Quin asked more relevant questions, but even then, they were few and far between. Oliver did his best to make a good impression, though his attention was divided between Glyma and Quin and the orange cockroach—Bob—that sat in the corner of the room, nestled in a pile of blankets. Bob hissed at Oliver every time the human glanced at him.

After half an hour of the oddest, most comfortable interview of his life, Glyma smacked the desk and stood with a beaming smile. "Would you like an official tour of the cafe?"

"Sweetheart, we need to talk details still," Quin started, but Glyma was already waving her hand in dismissal.

"Details shmetails. Tours are more fun!"

Quin sighed in exasperation as Oliver scrambled to his feet to follow Glyma out of the office. As he stepped toward the door, Bob gave another bone-chilling hiss, and Oliver swallowed thickly as he gave the bug a wide berth.

"Bob," he said with a nod of deference.

"Skrit!" Bob screeched back.

"Isn't he a funny little fellow?" Glyma said fondly. "He likes to bring us shiny treasures and little dead things. He's such a delight."

"I'll take your word on it," he mumbled as he skirted around the office to keep as much distance between himself and Bob as possible.

As Glyma pointed out the bathrooms and the storage closet, Quin sidled up next to Oliver, her horns barely clearing his shoulder. "Glyma's not one for the specifics. After the tour, we'll talk pay and the complicated taxes that come with you working on the other side of the veil."

"Okay, thanks." Oliver offered his hand, and Quin's mouth twitched as she shook it, her hand dry and warm. "I appreciate you taking a chance on a human like me."

She snorted. "We're not speciesist. And if anyone gives you shit, you let me know," she said fiercely, and Oliver nodded.

"Should I be expecting that?"

They entered the main dining area, the afternoon rush starting to trickle in. Quin shrugged and gestured for him to follow Glyma behind the counter. "There's assholes in every dimension."

Glyma gave Oliver a tour of the kitchen as Toni and Zef prepared food orders. Toni prepared the warm dishes, like paninis and soups. Zef handled the cold items—side dishes and salads that seemed to wriggle, though Oliver didn't get a good enough look to know for sure.

In the back, past the walk-in cooler, was the dishwashing station. And standing atop the counter near the industrial overhead dishwasher, a spray nozzle clasped tightly in a pair of webbed hands, was a short, squat green-skinned toad demon. They wore what looked like a wetsuit, covering their entire body from their wrists to their ankles, their webbed feet bare as they stepped in the puddled water.

"Ah, Tad, busy as ever," Glyma said.

"Yeah, what of it?" the demon croaked back in a nasally voice, bulging eyes moving independently of each other as they looked at Glyma and Oliver at the same time. "Who's the slug?"

"We don't use that language here, Tad," Quin snapped, and the demon made a face Oliver couldn't quite interpret.

"Fine, who's the human?" Tad asked snidely.

"This is Oliver," Glyma introduced him with a wave of her lilac hand. "He'll be working the front with Rusty and Gem. Oliver, this is Tad. She's our dishwasher extraordinaire."

Releasing the nozzle—not giving a second glance to it as it sprang back to the large sink and clattered against the wall—Tad waddled over to the edge of the counter. She gave Oliver a judgmental onceover, thick lips curling.

"He ain't much to look at," she said succinctly.

Seeing as she was no taller than three feet—and honestly, he was being generous—he didn't think she had room to talk.

"Just don't even think about encroaching on my territory, boy." She thrust a flat, rounded fingertip at his face. "This is my spot. Only Zef is allowed back here, and that's 'cause they don't touch anything. You know that notch missing from Rusty's ear. That was me." She grinned evilly, her sickly yellow-green eyes glowing slightly. "Thought he could come back and mess up my perfect system. Well, I showed him, didn't I?"

"O-kay?" Oliver said, leaning away from the scary, bald demon.

His immediate submission mollified her, but her eyes narrowed suspiciously all the same as she slowly toddled back to the sink and retrieved the spray nozzle. "I've got my eyes on you, and don't you forget it."

Glyma laughed, like Tad was the silliest little goofball, but Oliver watched the way she stroked a finger down the blade of a chef knife, one eye locked on him, the other tracking a buzzing bug flying somewhere above them. Her tongue shot out and captured the poor creature, and he winced when she crunched down on it viciously.

"It's nice to meet you," Oliver said weakly, and Tad scowled at him.

"Go away! I'm working." She gave them her back and started spraying down the tray of dishes again, getting thoroughly soaked in the process.

Still tittering, Glyma led Oliver back to the food prep area. "She's such a jokester."

Oliver exchanged a look with Quin, who subtly shook her head as if to say, "Don't touch that with a ten-foot pole."

"So, did Ollie here pass the test?" Toni asked, as he squashed a sandwich flat with a panini press.

"The job is his if he wants it," Glyma said excitedly, lips pressing together as she watched him expectantly.

"Oh, yes!" he said quickly. "I—yeah, yes. Thank you."

"Congratulations," Zef offered in their wispy voice.

Toni smacked him on the shoulder with a chuckled, "Alright, Ollie the human!"

The doors burst open, Gem's six arms splayed wide, iridescent eyes huge and glittering. "He's taking the job? Fuck yes! This is gonna be awesome." Pointing several fingers at Toni, he said, "Toni, match my energy."

Then Gem started dancing to a techno song only he could hear. Toni shrugged and jumped in, pantomiming slapping Gem's ass while he twerked. Glyma giggled and bounced on the balls of her feet, clapping along to the beat.

Face wrinkling at the dancing duo, Quin rubbed the space between her eyebrows like she regretted all of her life's choices. Zef swayed gently back and forth as they continued prepping their wriggling salad.

"If you don't stop, you're going to scare him away like you did the last new guy," Quin snarled, devil tail whipping erratically.

Toni returned to the panini press to save the sandwich from burning as he blew a noisy raspberry. "Whatever, that Ghoul was an asshole. I'm glad he quit."

"Yeah," Gem added, popping a hip. "He had, like, the biggest stick up his ass. And he tried to fuck Zef!"

"That was unpleasant," Zef said mournfully.

The kitchen doors opened again, and Rusty snarled, "Gem, I have eight people waiting on their drinks. What the fuck?"

"Stop yelling at me. You're all bumming me out," Gem whined as he stomped back out to the front.

Rusty's whiskers twitched in annoyance, but he nodded at Oliver before he followed Gem. "Congrats, I guess. Welcome to the freak show."