27. Pippies and Cornbread

Chapter twenty-seven

Pippies and Cornbread

After thoroughly reassuring his mother that he would not allow Gem to do ungodly things to the cows, Oliver ordered everyone out of the house before someone said or did something else to forever scar his parents. Molly, Oliver's golden retriever, bounded toward him, yipping happily as her entire rear end wiggled.

"Hey, girl." Dropping to his knees, Oliver hugged her, covering her face with kisses. "You miss me? Yeah, I missed you too. You're such a good girl, aren't you?"

"She's so cute," Glyma said as she knelt beside and slightly behind Oliver. "May I pat her too?"

"She'd love that. She's very friendly." Oliver pushed Molly toward Glyma, and the dog went happily. She wriggled and panted as Glyma, Willow, Quin, and Gem surrounded her, cooing and smiling.

"I can't eat that one either, can I?" Tad pouted.

"No, Tad, you can't eat my dog." Oliver rolled his eyes as Liel took his hand with a chuckle.

"Perhaps you should write a list of all the things Tad isn't allowed to eat. Just to be safe."

Oliver leaned in and kissed Liel's forehead. "You're smart. That's why they pay you the big bucks."

After wriggling out from between Glyma and Willow, Molly loped over to Zef and hesitantly sniffed at their shoes. Zef stared down at her with curious eyes but made no move to touch her.

"Pleased to meet you, Molly," Zef said with a slight bow.

Molly barked before cautiously circling Toni. Her tail slipped between her legs when Toni looked down at her, and she whined. Shifting his weight, Toni looked away and tucked his hands into his pockets.

"I don't think she likes me," he said with a grin, but his shoulders were tight.

"He's all bark and no bite, Molly," Jude said as he came up beside Toni and lowered himself to one knee. "Come here, girl."

Belly dragging on the ground, Molly crawled to Jude and licked his hand. He petted her until she flipped onto her back. Then he reached up and took Toni's hand, guiding him to crouch down.

Molly's tail stopped wagging, tucking back between her legs, but Jude rubbed her belly until she relaxed again. Carefully, Jude brought Toni's hand to replace his on Molly's belly.

"Rub in circles," Jude said, and Toni did, black eyes locked on Jude's hand on top of his.

"Like this?" Toni asked, voice thin.

"Yeah, just like that." Jude angled his head and grinned at him. "See?"

The crests of Toni's cheeks darkened blue, and he looked down at Molly. He patted her and smiled. "She's… wriggly."

"She had pups about five weeks ago," Oliver said, pointing at the barn. "They're probably in the barn, if you wanna hold them."

"That explains the titties." Toni scratched Molly between her swollen nipples. "Are you a mama? Where's your babies?"

Like she understood his question, Molly stood and headed toward the barn, stopping a few feet away as if to wait for Toni to follow her. With a shrug, Toni rose to his feet and brushed off his jeans, then he trailed after Molly to the barn, dragging Jude with him by the human's sleeve.

"I wanna see the pippies too," Gem said.

"It's puppies," Rusty corrected.

"Whatever." Gem hissed, grabbing Rusty's wrist to haul him along. "Let's go pet them."

"Uh, okay, the horses are this way." Oliver led the rest of the group to the pasture fence. He opened the gate and slipped inside, keeping it propped open a few inches. "Don't let anyone escape," he said to Liel, and Liel nodded.

Most of the herd was grazing farther out, and Oliver put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Half the herd ignored him, but several lifted their heads before trotting over. Starlight was the first to reach him, her soft, black nostrils flaring as she pawed at the ground.

"Hey, girl." His eyes stung as he reached for her. She backed away a step, huffing and stomping. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back. But there's someone really important I want you to meet."

She eyed him reproachfully, and he pulled out a carrot out of back pocket. "How about I bribe you to forgive me?" He held the carrot just out of reach, forcing her closer before he let her crunch down on it. Patting her neck, Oliver pressed his face to her cheek, inhaling musty horse sweat and manure and home. "I missed you."

He hugged her around the neck, her mane tickling his face and neck, and nearly cried. Starlight knocked her head against his, searching for more snacks.

"Spoiled," he chided as he brought another carrot to her mouth. "Now, behave. He's more scared of you than you'll be of him."

Turning around, Oliver motioned for Liel to come through the gate first. Glyma and Willow bounced where they stood waiting, barely containing their excitement. Quin, Zef, and Tad stood farther back. Tad looked bored. Zef, curious. Quin was apprehensive, watching the horses distrustfully.

But Oliver only had eyes for Liel.

The demon approached slowly, his yellow eyes popping with anxious static. He stopped a few yards away in response to Starlight stomping her foot. He looked to Oliver, who smiled encouragingly.

"It's okay. Slow and steady."

"I don't want to scare her," Liel said quietly, and Oliver's heart lurched.

"You won't. Come here, baby."

At the endearment, Liel melted, and he inched closer, hand trembling slightly as he reached for Oliver. Taking his hand, Oliver guided him closer. Starlight made a noise of distress and stomped again.

"Shh, you're okay." Oliver rubbed her between the eyes soothingly. "Don't be a brat." To Liel, he said, "Here, give her a sugar cube. Flat hand, so she doesn't accidentally get your fingers."

Oliver placed a sugar cube in Liel's palm, and the demon swallowed thickly but took another step forward. "Hello, Starlight," he said in a wavering voice. "I would like to be friends. Please do not trample me."

"Once you give her sugar, she'll be your best friend," Oliver said confidently, holding tight to Starlight's bitless bridle.

Slow as molasses, Liel offered his flattened hand, sugar cube balanced in the center of his palm. Starlight didn't take it at first. Her nostrils flared, ears flattening.

"Come on, girl. You're safe. I got'cha. He's not gonna hurt you."

"She's actually afraid of me?" Liel said with a weak chuckle. "She's huge."

"She's a prey animal," Oliver said, keeping his voice light as he petted her neck. "And you're… more predator than prey."

"I don't want to eat you," Liel whispered at Starlight. "Tad might, though. So stay on your guard."

Oliver laughed, and Liel smiled, then he squeaked as Starlight dipped her head and licked the sugar cube off his hand. His eyes grew to saucers.

"She ate it. Did you see? I did it." Liel waved his spit-covered hand. "Give me another."

"Too much sugar isn't good for her. Give her a carrot instead."

Liel took the offered carrot and held it out to Starlight. "Would you like a lovely carrot? Yes, eat the carrot and be my friend."

Heat spilled through Oliver's veins as he watched Liel run a hand down Starlight's neck as he fed her the carrot. A nervous smile spread his mouth as he stepped closer, touching her mane. Then he looked at Oliver and grinned.

"I'm petting a horse," he said smugly.

"You are," Oliver agreed, leaning in to taste Liel's smile.

The demon kissed him back with a chuckle, then broke away to rub Starlight's nose. "It's so soft."

"Keep her company for a bit," Oliver said with a peck to Liel's temple. "Let me get Willow and Glyma before they explode."

"You're leaving?"

"I'm just gonna be right over here," Oliver reassured him, and Liel nodded, throat bobbing.

"O-okay."

Glyma and Willow took to the horses easily, and the herd even accepted Quin, though she also had to tempt them with pieces of apple and carrot. Zef's wings buzzed and twitched as Oliver introduced them to Queen Charlotte, the calmest and most mature of the herd. But even she had trouble letting Zef close.

"It is okay," Zef said, backing away. "I do not wish to upset them."

"She just needs to get used to you, that's all," Oliver insisted. "Keep some sugar cubes held out, and maybe wait for her to come to you?"

Zef nodded. "Ah, that is the way of Mantodea courtship."

"If both of you wait for the other, how does anything ever happen?" Oliver asked.

"Very slowly," Zef said, devoid of all jest.

Tad tried to pet one horse but gave up almost instantly, bored with the whole endeavor. "I'm gonna see if there's any rats in the barn," she said. "Your dad said I could eat those!"

"Oh, okay. Have… fun?"

By the time Queen Charlotte ate a sugar cube off of Zef's palm, Willow had already bonded with half the herd, and Glyma wasn't far behind. Quin seemed happy to hang out with Bruno, one of the red duns, and Liel was still glued to Starlight's side.

"I am honored to make your acquaintance, Queen Charlotte," Zef said, bowing slightly as Queen Charlotte crunched down on an apple slice. "I find your pelt a very aesthetically pleasing color. You should be proud of it."

"Oh, Ollie, they're lovely," Glyma crooned as she hugged Picasso's neck.

"They are so gentle and kind." Willow simpered as three horses surrounded her, all trying to take bites of her hair.

"They are, but don't let them eat your hair. It might make them sick," Oliver said as he returned to Liel's side. "You two seem to be getting along."

"I am twelve percent less afraid of her," Liel said, and Oliver hugged him from behind, kissing his neck.

"I'm so glad you're here," he admitted into Liel's hair.

"Me too." Liel touched the tip of his flat nose to Starlight's. "I like her nose best."

"Oliver!" Gem's voice carried from the barn. "Oliver! The cows!"

"Wanna come see some cows?"

Liel nodded. "If only to ensure Gem doesn't do anything untoward."

The others decided to stay in the horse pasture, so Oliver closed the gate and crossed to the cow pasture with Liel, clasped hands swinging between them. The sun was bright, and he wished he'd grabbed his Stetson from his room before he'd come out.

Gem met them halfway, his phone screen facing them as he said, "Is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

It was a picture of Rusty glaring at the camera as several golden retriever fluffballs crawled all over him. There was even a puppy on top of his head between his pointed ears.

"That actually is the cutest thing I've ever seen," he said honestly.

"I know!" Gem wriggled as he gazed down at his screen adoringly. "I put the pippy on his head, and it peed on him. It was the best moment of my life."

"I'm sure Rusty was happy about that," Liel snickered.

"Where's Toni and Jude?"

Waving vaguely at the barn, Gem tucked away his phone and strode purposefully toward the fence to the cow pen. "Toni's sitting with the baby chickens. He liked them more than the pippies for some reason."

Oliver jogged to the barn door and peeked inside. He couldn't see Toni inside the chick stall, but he saw the heat lamp playing over Jude's face as he stood on the outside, looking in.

"I could just bite it in half," Toni was saying, "and it doesn't even know! What a dumbass little chick."

Jude laughed, resting his chin on his hands. The look on his best friend's face made Oliver's stomach twist, but he forced the feeling away. It wasn't jealousy, at least not a romantic jealousy. He wasn't sure what it was, but he didn't want to let it fester. Not when Jude's smile was that soft.

On the side of the barn, Oliver found Rusty ringing out his shirt as he sent water from the hose down his back, supposedly washing away the puppy piss. He turned the hose on Molly and sprayed her. Molly barked and yipped happily, and Rusty smirked.

"Ollie!" Gem barked impatiently, and Oliver made his way to where he and Liel waited at the fence.

"Okay, Gem, let's go."

Oliver climbed over the fence, landing as Gem easily hoisted himself over. The ground was muddier here, but Gem didn't seem to care that his shiny boots were getting covered in muck. The demon was practically vibrating with excitement.

"I've always wanted to see a cow in real life," he admitted in a hushed tone. "Toni said cows are stupid, but I think they're adorable."

"They are adorable. A little messy and smelly, but still adorable," Oliver said, and the validation made Gem stand impossibly taller. "Which one do you wanna pet?"

"All of them," he said matter-of-factly. "But we can start with that one."

Gem pointed at a black and white Holstein, and Oliver started toward the heifer. A young calf appeared from behind her, and Gem released a shrill squeal.

"There's a baby."

"You need to calm down a bit or else you might scare them, okay?"

Taking a deep breath, Gem nodded. "I'm so chill."

"I don't think I've ever met someone with so little chill," Oliver teased, and Gem flipped him several middle fingers. "So cows can be less spirited than horses, but they're heavier, and they have horns, so you still have to be careful. Don't let them step on your feet because they can break your bones."

"Okay."

"And don't stand behind them, in case they kick."

"Right. Dick be gone." Gem ran his lowest hands down his shirt as they approached the heifer and her calf. "What's her name?"

Honestly, Oliver didn't know. They sold the cows more often, the herd constantly changing. And some of them were beef cows, but he didn't want to break Gem's heart by revealing that.

"Not sure. How about you name them?"

"Really?" Gem's largest eyes watered. "You'd let me name them?"

"Sure."

With another shrill sound, Gem hugged Oliver tightly, lifting him off his feet completely. "Thanks, Ollie. I'm going to name her Gem. And the baby… also Gem."

Oliver wheezed out a laugh. "How humble of you."

When Gem finally put him down, Oliver took one of his hands and led him toward cow-Gem and baby-cow-Gem. The heifer lowed, hoof stomping in the mud, her large eyes watching them warily.

"Go slow," Oliver said as he handed Gem his last carrot and pushed him forward. "Don't rush them. Keep your voice low and steady. And talk to her, so she knows you're not a threat."

"Okay." Gem hunched over in a futile attempt to become smaller as he crept forward. "Hi, Gem. You're so beautiful. Can I please come lay on you? And maybe squeeze your baby?"

The cow was nervous at first, mooing low and throaty as she stomped her feet. The calf was curious more than anything, but he hovered behind his mother. Gem ended up completely crouched down, waddling forward with his knees tucked to his chest.

"I love your black and white spots," Gem was saying as he held out the carrot with one long arm. "And your baby is the cutest baby I've ever seen. Just don't tell my mom. I lied and said my youngest brother was cute. He isn't, though. He ugly as fuck. But I hear that ugly babies make the hottest adults. So maybe he has that going for him.

"Do you want a yummy orange thing? It's hard and kind of shaped like a dick, which seeing as you have a baby, I bet you're into." When the cow huffed at him, he shook his head quickly. "Oh, no shade, sis. I am also super into dick. Love it. Dicks all day. This is a judgment-free zone, babes."

The cow sniffed at the carrot, trying to bite it from Gem's hand, but he pulled it away so he could creep a little closer. "Yeah, come get the orange dick. You know you want it."

"You sound like you're molesting the cows," Oliver called.

"Shush!" Gem waved one hand at him as he reached another hand up to touch the cows neck. She chomped down on the carrot as Gem petted her with numerous hands, his body trembling with excitement. "Ollie, look! She likes me."

A few minutes later, Gem lay sprawled over the heifer's back, arms wrapped around her as he sighed happily. His lowest right hand patted the calf's head as it fed from its mother's udder.

Oliver had returned to the fence, though he remained in the pen in case Gem needed him. Liel leaned against the wooden slats, shaking his head as Gem's dreamy voice drifted over on the breeze.

"This is the best day of my life!"

"You have strange friends," Liel said, and Oliver nodded.

"Yeah, but they're kind of great."

"They are."

Oliver leaned over the fence and connected them, tasting clean sweat and dust on Liel's lips. Liel cupped Oliver's face in his hands and licked into his mouth with a hum. When they parted, Oliver kissed his nose and chin.

"You're in your element here," Liel mused as Oliver nuzzled his cheek.

"It's what I know," Oliver said with a shrug.

"It's very sexy," Liel purred against Oliver's jaw. "Your competence with the animals, the way you move around them, the way you assert your… dominance without being aggressive. It's very, very attractive."

His lips whispered over Liel's as he said, "Just wait til I put on my cowboy hat."

"Mr. Barnes, are you trying to seduce me?"

"I'm always trying to seduce you."

Before they could reinstate their kiss, the clang of the dinner bell rang over the ranch. "Dinner time," Oliver said with one last, quick peck to Liel's mouth.

They wrangled everyone back to the house, though Oliver led them around the back to the fire pit after they washed up. A large pot of chili cooked over the fire, Oliver's father stirring it to keep it from burning. His mother was setting a tray of fresh cornbread on the wooden picnic table beside the metal plates.

"Okay," Maggie said, face flushed from the oven. His parents both looked much calmer now, much more in their element as they played hosts. "Grab a plate and help yourself. We have cornbread and salad, and the kriltcake that Glyma so generously brought."

Glyma beamed, and Maggie smiled back, her cheeks flushing a shade darker. Leave it to a Succubus to charm his mother into liking demons.

"Then head to Greg for your bowl of chili," Maggie continued. "We have water and some fresh iced tea. And more of the lemonade from earlier."

Toni, Gem, and Jude fought to go first, and Oliver shook his head, hooking an arm around Liel's neck. They hung back as everyone filed into a line to try the strange, alien food the humans had prepared for them.

Holding a plate of cornbread, Oliver's mother shuffled toward them, expression unsure. But her eyes were determined.

Oliver stiffened but remained silent as Maggie came to a stop in front of Liel. "Liel, right?" she asked, and Liel nodded. "You have to try the cornbread. I like it best with honey, but I'll leave that up to you."

"You can put jammy on it too," Oliver whispered, and Liel cut him a quick glare before he turned back to Maggie with a hesitant grin, revealing sharp teeth.

Her smile wavered, but she held eye contact as he took the plate from her. "Thank you, ma'am," he said politely.

"Please, call me Maggie."

"Maggie," Liel said, and her smile settled more firmly on her face.

She cupped Oliver's face and patted his cheek. "We've missed you around here."

Oliver swallowed thickly. "I missed you too, Mom."

"But you're skin and bones," she tutted.

"Oh, I'm afraid that's my fault," Liel said with a self-deprecating laugh. "I only feed him cheese and eggs. I'm a terrible cook."

"It's true," Oliver said.

"Well…" Maggie cleared her throat. "I'll teach you my chili recipe. It's one of Oliver's favorites."

Liel tightened his arm around Oliver's waist. "That would be lovely, Maggie. Thank you."

With a parting pat to Oliver's cheek, she backed away. "It's so good to have you back home," she said, turning toward Glyma as the Succubus shook her arm, talking around her bite of cornbread, demanding Maggie show her how to make it.

"It's so delicious," she insisted, crumbs falling out of her mouth.

"Maybe compliment the chef when your mouth isn't full, babe," Quin suggested.

"Right. Sorry," Glyma said.

"Well," Liel mused as he inspected his plate of cornbread, "that's progress, right?"