9. Clara

CHAPTER 9

CLARA

There are too many reasons to love you. I fell asleep counting them and woke up with you on my mind. See you in homeroom, heartbreaker. - Nick

It was my first official day of work as Green Valley High’s newest substitute teacher.

Once the news had spread to my family about my new job, Willa had let it slip that a group of high school teachers had become regulars at our Aunt Genie’s eponymously named Genie’s Country Western Bar, where Willa was a server. And since I had no intention of working at the elementary or middle schools, I had hauled my booty up there to make friends and ensure they knew to request me if they ever needed a sub.

I’d successfully managed to avoid Nick for the last couple of weeks while I waited for my background check to clear by only going outside when I knew he’d be at work. I missed evenings on my porch and his amazing pool, but it was a sacrifice I had to make to keep my heart safe. I had to protect myself, but most of all, I had to forget how he looked wearing only a pair of swim trunks. He’d grown up—a lot. The cute boy I had loved in high school was now a big, broody hunk of a man. I didn’t know him anymore, but I wanted to.

As was the thought of being Gracie’s unofficial bodyguard, the threat of potentially running into Nick throughout the day was as thrilling as it was terrifying.

I was no fool; just because I hadn’t seen him except for across the yard or through the window didn’t mean he hadn’t been on my mind. I missed him, and our history was complicated and fraught, but that hadn’t kept the chemistry from buzzing in the air between us every time we ran into each other, however briefly.

Did I want another chance with him?

I was not known for choosing what was good for me. So, like always, I was craving what I shouldn’t and fighting it every step of the way. I’d do my best to avoid him today, but it would probably be impossible.

I finished fastening my lucky necklace then stepped into the pair of spiked black Louboutin slingbacks I’d laid out the night before. I’d raided the attorney section of my closet and found this little number. It was a professional yet feminine black A-line skirt with a matching silk blouse.

“Clara! I’m here.” Gracie had used her key to get in. Everett had started dropping her off on the way to work every day so I didn’t have to cross town twice to pick her up and take her to school.

“I’m coming down.” I slipped on a few bracelets, grabbed my bag, and took one last look in the mirror.

I found Gracie rummaging through my pantry. “There’s nothing in here but old bread and like, a million bags of coffee. How are you an adult?”

“Check the freezer. Nuke one of Leo’s breakfast burritos.” Leo had been keeping my freezer stocked up. Between bumming leftovers from Sadie, and Everett’s weekly supply of spaghetti, I was no longer at risk of getting hangry and losing my shit with Nick. I should probably learn to cook, but sadly, that was a life skill that had remained permanently low on my priority list.

Sliding around her, I made it to the coffee pot. I had set the timer last night; if I had to be up this early, waiting for my first dose was not something I was willing to do. I reached for a travel mug and filled it.

“You’re wearing that?” Her eyes flicked up and down my body. “Are you trying to declare this National Boner Day or something?”

“What?” I looked down at myself. “This is perfectly acceptable.”

She scoffed. “Sure. But not on a human Barbie doll like you.”

“Don’t be sexist, Gracie. Didn’t I teach you better? I’m totally covered up—neck to knees. This skirt isn’t even tight, but if it was, would it really matter? You of all people should know better since you look just like me. We are not sex objects, we’re human beings.” I fastened the lid on my mug and waved it in the air. “Fuck the patriarchy.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s sad how much this shit is ingrained in me. You look pretty and professional, you really do. You’re going to be great today.”

“Thanks.” I beamed at her. “And you look ready to kick someone’s ass.” Gracie was fond of Doc Martens and dark makeup, and lately she’d been begging to get a tattoo.

“Hey, I might just do it if Marianne keeps up her shit. The only thing keeping my foot out of her butt is my sprained ankle and the fact that she’s backed off a bit. But if she starts with me when I can balance again, it’s on—and I don’t care about Pindich’s zero tolerance crap.” She put her hands on her hips and nodded once in my direction. “Beating someone’s ass in self-defense is legit, dang it.”

“Stand in line for the boot in the butt thing. You’re looking at your official bodyguard. I have no shame and am not above terrorizing a few teenage girls for the sake of your inner peace. You will have a good senior year no matter what I have to do to make it happen. This is the official start of my villain era.”

She bit her lip, hesitating before asking, “Do you ever wish we could have been normal? Without the hillbilly reputation? You know, with a dad and a mom who actually loved each other. And a home where no one had to run away, or get married at eighteen years old to escape it, or become a hard-as-nails, rich lawyer to protect all of us . . .” The edge of cynicism that usually filled her voice faded away as her eyes drifted to the floor.

“I think about that whenever I’m in a therapy appointment or spying on the neighborhood from my porch like a totally normal person.” I grinned her way.

Her eyes raised to mine, flashing as her humor came back. “Thanks for paying for Dr. Simon, by the way.”

I shrugged. “It’s why I had to make the big bucks. I knew we’d all need buttloads of therapy. And yes, I do wish that we’d been brought up better, so much. But we can’t go back in time, can we? Look, we Hill sisters are finally back together, all of us back in Green Valley like we’re supposed to be. We have Dr. Simon to talk things through with, Momma is getting better every day, and I think we’re going to end up being just fine. I mean, our family dinners have at least ninety percent less screaming and fighting now, and hardly anyone bursts into tears or storms off anymore, right?”

“You make good points.”

I pulled her close and kissed her temple. “I’ve got you. I will do anything for you.”

“By the way, I know you had Mari—I mean, Miss Mitchell—keep an eye on me. She’s not very stealthy, you know.”

“I needed eyes on the inside until I could be there myself to watch out for you, and I’m not sorry. Mari is family, she knows how it is. Maybe she’s not stealthy, but she is discreet.”

Her answering smile was grateful. “Thank you.”

“Always, Gracie.”

Bing. A cymbal crash rang out along with the timer on the microwave and we both jumped.

“What the hell?” I shoved the curtains aside. Dawn was rising in a haze of pink-tinted sunlight as what looked like a small portion of the high school band marched their way up the street.

“It sounds like the band.” She grabbed her burrito from the microwave then joined me at the window. “What the hell?”

“What are they doing out this early in the morning? School hasn’t even started yet.”

“It’s the seniors. They have zero hour practice, remember? That’s why Ruby couldn’t be the one to drive me to school.”

“You mean, this isn’t in my honor? To welcome me on my first day?” I joked.

“Yeah, right. Let’s go see what’s going on. They usually practice on the football field or in the parking lot.” She hobbled toward the front door. Her ankle was getting better; the crutches were no longer necessary, just the boot.

We headed to the porch and watched Mari lead the band straight into Leonard and Janice’s yard across the street. I flinched when a row of horn players marched right through his gorgeous bed of dahlias.

Janice had been the band director before she retired. Maybe this was something for her?

“Leonard is going to freak the eff out when he sees them.” I nudged Gracie’s arm. “This is going to be great. Watch.”

“Hey!” Leonard came barreling outside dressed in one of Janice’s silk robes and a pair of boxers with his floppy curls blowing in the morning breeze.

“Damn, he really pulls that off,” I observed. Yes, we were one-sided yard rivals, but I could admit he looked oddly hot in Janice’s pretty paisley caftan. I made a mental note to ask her where she’d bought it. Leonard wasn’t the only one who could rock that look.

“Your neighborhood is weird as hell,” Gracie mumbled through a bite of her breakfast.

I peeked at her over my shoulder. “Why do you think I’m outside all day? It’s better than TV.”

“Sing, Sing, Sing” blasted through the air as Sasha and Ethan wandered into my yard to watch the impromptu concert with us. “Hi, y’all.” Gracie greeted them while I raised my mug with a grin.

“Oh, come on!” Leonard yelled, cursing under his breath as kids filled his pristine, freshly mowed lawn, trampling the neat lines he had oh-so-carefully created in the grass yesterday with his lawn mower.

I let out a laugh as Ruby stepped directly into his echinacea.

Now who has the better yard?

“Mornin’, Clara.” I spun to the side. Nick’s voice drowned out the band, drowned out the kids’ chatter, drowned out everything as I took him in, trying to stay mad as he stood in the early morning light looking way too gorgeous for my own good. “It’s been a while. You look stunning. Where are you off to today?”

“He doesn’t know?” Gracie laughed. “Clara’s subbing for Miss Dalbotten today. She’s got herself a new job as a substitute teacher.”

A slow grin spread across his face. “Is that so? We’ll be co-workers then. I’ll show you around.”

“I used to go there, remember?” I laughed to soften the rejection in front of his kids. “I can find my own way around campus, thanks though.”

“Then let me take you out to dinner tonight to celebrate.”

I reared back and shook my head to clear it. “What did you just say?” He’d lost his dang mind.

“Dinner.” He grinned. “You and me. I’ll buy you a steak at The Front Porch to celebrate.” The Front Porch was fancy and had the best steaks in town. I loved it there.

My jaw lowered as I tried to gather my wits. I was too startled to offer an immediate objection.

“Yes!” Sasha pumped her fist in the air.

“You’re asking Miss Clara out on a date?” Ethan questioned.

“She would love to,” Gracie answered for me.

“Hey! I can answer for myself.” I really couldn’t, not when I desperately wanted both to go with him and also to run off and hide from him under my bed at the same time.

No, no, a billion times NO!

Shut up. Say yes. Nick’s hot.

I caught sight of Sasha’s big, brown, hope-filled eyes and before I could think too hard about it, the word “Yes” came tumbling out of my mouth, followed by, “Thanks, Nick. Dinner would be nice.”

“Great. Six o’clock it is.” He beamed at me, and it was all I could do not to throw myself into his arms. “Gracie, I’ll pay you double your usual rate since it’s last minute. Will that work?”

“Heck yes.” Gracie was somewhat of an entrepreneur, at my influence. She was licensed, bonded, trained in CPR and first aid, and had her own website offering services for anything from grocery shopping, to driving the elderly to appointments, to babysitting. Apparently, Nick was one of her customers.

“Maybe we shouldn’t,” I hedged. “Uh, it’s a school night . . .” So much irony floated in the air between us, it was ridiculous. Luckily none of the kids noticed the subtext-filled looks we were shooting at each other.

School nights had meant nothing to us in the past. We’d snuck around doing whatever we felt like with no regard for time, or propriety, or anything our mothers had to say about curfews.

But now? I had a whole entire list of rules forming in my brain for our dinner together. He never used to be a troublemaker like this. Asking me out in front of his kids and Gracie and putting our secret at risk? Who was this guy?

“Aw, you’re right. We’ll aim for Friday night instead, and I won’t keep you out past your bedtime. I swear I’m a responsible adult now.”

“Ohh, Friday is date night!” Sasha squealed. “You can stay out as late as you want.”

“Dial it down, Sash. I’m being neighborly is all. New jobs deserve celebrating. Right, Clara?”

I bit my lip and gave him my best what the hell are you thinking glare. He shrugged it off with that devastating and adorably toothy grin I used to love before herding his kids back home to finish getting ready for school.

“Sash, Eath! Say goodbye, grab your backpacks, and get to the bus.”

“Bye, y’all.” I waved, trying to act normal, like I wasn’t freaking out inside about Nick and whatever he was planning, or the way I was saying yes to everything he wanted and not telling him to go screw himself like I should.

Good lord, I should have tried harder to avoid him this morning. But the stupid marching band had wrecked my plans to hightail it out of here before he left for the day.

“I have to get my stuff too.” Gracie headed to the house, stopping on the porch before she went in. “Oh, I’m free Friday, if you need me. But I’m still charging you double,” she added with a smirk. “Supply and demand. It’s only fair.”

“You got it. Thanks, Gracie.” Nick paused at the edge of my lawn and waited until I finally turned to face him.

“Gah! What now?” I burst out. “I’m supposed to be mad at you, remember? I mean, I am mad. Totally pissed, okay? We have issues, Nick. Big ones. Big honking past issues that make whatever this is”—I swung my hand back and forth between us—“very complicated. I’ve been avoiding you for a reason, okay?”

“I know that. And I have to say, you’re a master at it. We’re neighbors and I hardly ever see you. I remember you being sneaky, but obviously I liked it a lot better when I was the one you were sneaking around with.”

My nostrils flared at the amused twinkle in his eyes. He wasn’t taking this nearly serious enough for my liking. “Hmph.”

“Why do you think I asked you out?” he pushed. “We have to talk this through. We have to clear the air. I want to be on the same page as you.”

I shoved a finger in one of his impressive pecs. “We’re not even in the same freaking book anymore, Nick,” I huffed. “What if I don’t feel like talking about any of this? What then? What if all I want to do is eat a free steak and glare at you from across the table?” I took a step back and crossed my arms. Take that.

He shrugged as if it was all the same to him. “I don’t care. I just want to be near you. And being your neighbor is not enough for me. From the moment I laid eyes on you in the parking lot, you’re all I can think about. I want to know you again, Clara. That’s it.” As if it would be that simple.

Have dinner.

Know each other again.

That’s it.

Warning bells went off in my head, bing-bonging all the ways I could end up getting hurt if I let him into my heart again.

Picking a fight was the only way to get him to back off. I saw how he had shut down with his ex the other day when she was being all bitchy and I needed him to do it with me.

Shut it down.

The emotion in his eyes was too much for me to handle; the nostalgia was killing me. He was too sexy, too determined, too damn engaged in this conversation and I was about to give in to anything he asked me.

“So, you tricked me into going out with you?” I accused.

His eyes flashed fire before he threw his head back and laughed, showing no sign of relenting. “How is me asking you a direct question tricking you?” This was the exact opposite of shutting down. What the hell? His eyes blazed into mine as his lips quirked up at the corner. “I invited you to dinner. You said yes. Could I be any more blatant with my intentions?”

“You’re confusing me, and I think you’re doing it on purpose.” This was a lie; I was not confused. Not one bit. I was no fool—I knew when a man was interested, and Nick definitely wanted another piece of me. I was halfway tempted to yank him into my garage, shove him up against the wall, and give it to us both—conversation and clarity about our past be damned. “You’re infuriating, quit it.” Instead of jumping him on the lawn and having my way with him, I shoved a finger in his chest again. “Don’t think you’re gonna get away without hearing about this at dinner. I think I might have a lot to say after all.”

He bowed forward until we were eye to eye with our foreheads almost touching. “I can’t fucking wait,” he growled, the sound of it sending goosebumps across my skin. Then, ever so gently, he removed my hand from his pec and kissed the tip of my pokey finger. “I want you to talk to me. I don’t care if you’re yelling, screaming, glaring at me across a table, or poking this cute little finger of yours in my chest. I’ll take anything I can get from you. See you in the teachers’ lounge, heartbreaker.”

My hands hit my hips as I stood there sputtering as he walked off, mad at myself for letting him get the last word. And even more mad at myself for still wanting him so damn bad.