26. Clara

CHAPTER 26

CLARA

One day I’m going to marry you in the middle of one of these lavender fields, Clara Jean Hill. - Nick

“You made the right choice,” Momma whispered to me as she fluffed up my veil in the back. “And I’m honored to be here with all of you right now.”

My sisters and I, along with Sasha and Molly, were crammed in my old bedroom at the farm. They were helping me get ready.

Leo was in the kitchen putting the final touches on the food before he’d head down to the wedding site. He and my mother had been bonding and cooking all day. I’d seen the cake; it was adorable, with two tiny houses side by side on top.

It was my wedding day. Nick and I were getting hitched in the exact spot we’d discussed: the one where we’d had our first time.

My dress was a simple silk sheath, strapless and cut on the bias. It was knee-length and trimmed in beaded lace. I was wearing my favorite pale pink cowgirl boots—not only would regular heels sink into the ground outside, but these boots were lucky. I wore them when I had my first time with Nick. No one knew the significance of the location and these boots except for the two of us.

I guess I have one secret left after all, I laughed to myself.

My eyes drifted around the room that was almost the same as it had been when I’d left it, like a little time capsule from my past: same twin bed, covered in that old purple quilt Momma had made so long ago; same wooden bureau with the mirror on the back and old books and baubles littering the surface.

I traced a finger down the glass and smiled at what I saw shining back inside its dusty wooden frame. For the first time, I didn’t feel the same when I looked in the mirror. I was no longer that lost little girl who’d left this place so many years ago. I’d found myself, and more importantly, I liked what I had discovered.

“I love you, Momma,” I said to her reflection at my side.

“I love you too, sugar.” She pulled me into a sideways hug and smiled at me in the mirror before saying to the room, “None of you go givin’ her a hard time now. I’m going to go check on everything and make sure Leo stops fussin’ over that gorgeous cake and doesn’t miss the ceremony.”

“We won’t,” Gracie told her. “We think it’s the best choice too. It’s sweet.”

“I think it’s brilliant,” Sasha announced with a giggle. She was my maid of honor and would be walking with me down the aisle.

Ethan was the best man and he’d be waiting with Nick at the end.

It was like the four of us were creating our own little family today.

I’d never try to usurp Morgan’s role as their mother. But I wanted today to be special for the kids too.

“Let’s go,” Sadie ordered. “Time and preachers wait for no man—or woman. Y’all, I have no idea how that saying actually goes. But the bottom line is we’ve got a wedding to get started.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I turned away from the mirror to find them all watching me, with huge smiles lighting up their beautiful faces.

“I’m beyond thrilled for you,” Molly declared. “You’re gorgeous, but more important, you look happy—truly happy—and it’s a sight to behold.”

I pulled her into a hug. “I love you, Molls.”

She squeezed me back. “Love you too. I’ll see you out there.”

Willa pulled me into a quick hug of her own. “We love you,” she whispered. Come on, Hills, let’s move out.” Sadie and Gracie followed behind her out the door.

It was just me and Sasha. “Are you ready, sweetheart?”

“I can’t wait! We’ll have another day for our family to celebrate now—your and Dad’s anniversary.” She looked up at me with hopeful eyes. “We can add that to our family traditions, right?”

“Darn right, honey. Let’s go.”

We found our way to the old red barn out behind the house and stopped to take it all in. Lavender, sweetly scented and planted in perfect purple rows, led all the way to the horizon with the Smoky Mountains standing at the end.

Placed in the middle of it all—in the spot Nick and I had, ahem, rediscovered a couple weeks back—was a wooden arch covered in pale pink roses and wound with shimmering tulle ribbons that billowed in the breeze.

White chairs filled with family and friends sat in the spaces between the lavender. Everyone turned to look as I flipped the music on and the soft notes of Pachelbel’s Canon in D drifted over the flowered field.

Nick spotted us and waved, beckoning us closer, urging us on. I watched the play of emotions cross his face as, hand in hand, Sasha and I moved toward him, step by step heading into the future finally within our reach.

The shadows in my heart were gone. I’d let everything go to shine in the sun.