Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Back then

KC Hayles

“Do you want another?” Lucian hollered over the music.

I squinted toward the spotlights over the little stage and counted six lights beaming down on the band playing shitty pop rock. The rest of the bar was so dark that I could only see the people nearby. Everyone else was a black silhouette.

“How many spotlights are in the ceiling above the stage?” I yelled back.

He gave me a weird look. “Uh, three?”

I nodded. “Then keep the drinks comin’! I’m not leaving this bar until I see at least fifteen!”

He offered a dry expression before he disappeared in the sea of people, and I slumped back in our booth. Fucking shit bar. But it beat going to one of his goddamn BDSM events. I didn’t need another reminder of what I was missing.

I scrubbed my hands over my face and wanted to scream at the top of my lungs.

I was so fucking tired of everything. But at least Lucian was happy, huh? He was making friends in his kink circles and living the life. Next week, he had meetings in Luxembourg, a seminar at the fucking OECD headquarters in Paris, and then more meetings in Frankfurt. He was making it.

All I got right now were late nights at the office where I was buried in files upon files of shareholder complaints and future lawsuits in the biggest clusterfuck of an acquisition gone wrong. They fucking knew they wouldn’t get their money’s worth when they sold off the subsidiaries, but that didn’t stop them from taking each other to court, now did it?

Actually, I got a lot of Chinese food and self-doubt too. Take that, Leroux.

He returned a moment later with new drinks, and I could kiss him. Fuck no, I couldn’t. Whatever. Fuck. Move on. I cleared my throat. Whiskey—a whole bottle of it. He knew me.

I loosened my tie and shifted closer so we could talk without screaming. My thigh bumped into his, shoving images of Christine to the forefront of my mind. She was waiting for my answer. Are we getting back together or not, KC? Just answer me.

I took a big swallow of my drink and winced at the burn.

I couldn’t touch Lucian, even platonically. Every time I did, I saw Christine, tapping her foot impatiently, as if the mere memory of her wouldn’t let me forget reality for a fucking second.

The bastard leaned in close and spoke in my ear. “You wanna get a room with the bottle?”

“Yeah!” I nodded.

He chuckled and poured a drink for himself too. Then he drained half his glass before shrugging out of his suit jacket, and I sensed what came next. He wasn’t leaving here until he knew my plan.

What if I didn’t know myself? What if I wanted to drink till I passed out and just ignore forming a plan altogether?

“Have you decided what to do yet?” he asked.

I didn’t know if it was the door opening ten feet away, the AC, or the constant motion in the bar, but something sent a whiff of his cologne my way, and I clenched my jaw.

Get back together with Christine and be there for Noa? And keep my parents happy?

Say fuck it and leave it all behind, maybe find a man and…

I swallowed hard and picked up my glass again.

Jesus Christ, I was fucked.

“Hey.” He put a hand on my thigh, stilling it. I hadn’t even noticed I’d been bouncing my legs like Noa. My little drummer. He could never sit still. “Are you really going back to her?”

I didn’t want to. I felt like I was going to suffocate. At the same time, I could already hear my mother if I came home for Sunday dinner and told her I was single.

“The rumors aren’t true, are they? You need to find a wife, Kyle. You need children, a family, a woman to come home to. God—imagine the shame if… I can’t even say it.”

I stared down at my drink and tried to take a calming breath.

My crime? I’d roughhoused with a neighbor when I was nine years old. We’d been tumbling around on the lawn in swim trunks, and I’d been more concerned about getting back my goddamn toy truck than whatever the fuck my sexuality was. But the only people worse than my extremist parents were the fundamentalists next door. They’d run over to our backyard, torn their son out of my grasp, and dragged him away.

Weeks later, he’d been sent to a Christian summer camp for “troubled youth,” and the women in our community had started talking. My mother had started talking. Rumors here, rumors there.

I closed my eyes, almost wishing I still believed their threats about hell and damnation. Being scared was legit. Being scared forced you to act a certain way. Now…? I was just a fucking coward.

My life wouldn’t end if I came out. If anything, it would begin.

And yet…

I couldn’t.

Lucian had once told me he hated nicknames. It was back in high school, if I remembered correctly. Not long after we’d first met. He’d called nicknames childish. Scott was Scott, not Scotty. Kyle was Kyle, not KC.

That had lasted about a week. Then I’d almost lost my shit on him, and I’d told him I hated my name. It’d taken years to tell him why, but maybe he’d understood. It made my skin crawl every time I heard my mother and father summon me.

Lucian had never tried to call me Kyle again after my burst of anger. In fact, he often used nicknames today.

Knowing him, he’d understood that a name could be more than a name. A name could be part of your identity. It could bring forth memories that haunted you. You could associate it with a part of you that you wanted to kill off.

I threw back my drink, glad he’d bought a whole bottle.

“Since when do I have the balls to do what I want?” I asked him.

There was my answer.

Lucian was frustrated with me. I could tell.

“And it’s all because of Noa,” he pressed.

Fuck no. It was partly him, but my cowardice came from the fear of facing my parents. My father was the worst. No, I was the worst, because I couldn’t fucking understand the hold they had on me. I knew how goddamn wrong they were, with every fiber of my being, and yet, I flinched at the thought of seeing shame and disappointment in his eyes. Judgment. Disgust.

I supposed that was the hold—and I hated myself for it. I shouldn’t give a fuck.

The disgust was the most painful because it would overshadow everything I’d done that they were proud of.

I was their only son, their only child, and they had invested a lot in me.

To Lucian, all I said was, “I can’t leave him.”

Noa was my best excuse.

* * *

“Fuck me sideways, this is good,” I groaned.

“So good,” Lucian slurred.

I chewed on a mouthful of falafel and brushed lettuce off my shirt.

I loved falafel, and falafel loved me back. But it had to be from this particular place north of Foggy Bottom. The married couple who ran the hole-in-the-wall was from Lebanon, and they won the falafel wrap race, in my opinion. Most places didn’t serve it in freshly baked bread; they did. And the…whatever it was, some kind of garlic butter, was fucking divine, especially after a night out.

We’d discovered the place shortly after Lucian had closed on his first condo.

He’d just traded up to a larger two-bedroom in the same area, and it had a sleep alcove where I crashed from time to time. Like tonight.

I took a swig of my Coke and almost stumbled over nothing. Christ. We’d come too far to lose it now. Just half a block, and then we’d be at his building.

I belched and took another bite of my wrap.

“Will you buy…buy me a gift in Germany?” I asked.

He chuckled with his mouth full. “I can get you Jägermeister from the airport.”

I made a face and elbowed him.

“Always so violent!” Hell, his voice echoed. He realized he’d been loud, and he laughed and hiccupped. “I can’t remember the last time I was this wasted.”

“Me either.” It was funny, considering I’d complained to him today about Christine’s drinking habits.

Maybe I was overreacting.

Maybe I wasn’t. She’d still stolen two grand from me.

Fuck.

We made it to Lucian’s place and finished our food in the elevator, and I planted a hand on my stomach to get a sense of how much more I wanted to eat. I didn’t feel full yet. The Coke was incredibly good, though. I wanted more of that.

“Do you have soda and food?” I asked.

“The things I’m gonna do to a bag of kettle chips in a few minutes…” He was watching the numbers tick higher. All the way up to…the fourth floor. It was a slow-as-fuck elevator in an ancient building.

“Yeah? You want some privacy?” I smirked.

The elevator dinged, and he stepped out. “It’s okay. You can watch.”

Fucker.

I followed him, my gaze landing on his polished shoes hitting the dark blue carpet. Muted step by muted step. Nice suit pants… Nice thighs.

Fantastic ass.

“Ugh.” It wasn’t like I could see it with the suit jacket in the way.

I’d seen it countless times before, though.

“I think I have pizza in the fridge from last night,” he said as an afterthought.

Excellent. Pizza and…watching him defile a bag of chips.

I wanted to get in on the defiling.

As he unlocked the door, I got another whiff of his cologne, and I could’ve kicked him in the balls. He’d always been attractive to me, sometimes frustratingly sexy—and the frustrating part was his composure. At some point, he’d decided to never give me an arm if he’d offered a hand. I could provoke him and earn a cocked brow or an annoyed retort, but if I pushed further, he simply shut down and waited till I’d “finished my tantrum,” in his words.

“You know what we should do? We should try skydiving,” I said.

He threw me a look over his shoulder as he entered his home. “There’s a Yoda quote for that suggestion.”

There is no try…

I cracked up. He could be damn funny sometimes.

“Also, abso-fucking-lutely not, and neither are you,” he finished.

Buzzkill.

“You’re not my Master, you know,” I retorted.

He chuckled to himself and aimed straight for the kitchen, so I followed again. We got rid of our late-night street food trash, and then he opened the fridge.

“You’d be a nightmare to dominate,” he murmured into the fridge.

I leaned back against the kitchen counter and scratched my jaw. Yeah, there was no dominating me. But I could admit to myself that I had thought about bottoming once or twice.

In another life, maybe. I could’ve easily made a move on my best friend. If he wasn’t interested, he’d let me down gently, and he’d make sure shit wasn’t awkward after. If he was interested…he’d be safe.

I watched in silence as he hauled out soda, stacked pizza slices wrapped in tinfoil, and something in a Styrofoam box. When he flipped it open, I saw something deep-fried, possibly mozzarella sticks. And wings. We loved wings.

He plated everything and set the first one to sixty seconds in the microwave. Then he slid me a Coke along the counter and found a spot across from me, at the island.

“No witty comeback from KC Hayles,” he noted. “You must be miles away.”

Quite the opposite, huh? I was right here.

“Do you ever bottom?” I asked.

He was taken aback by the question, and I couldn’t blame him. We’d never discussed sex on that level. Sex was a topic reserved for kink in theory, with subs involved.

“I’m not opposed to it, if I were to meet the right man I’d have that chemistry with,” he said unhurriedly, as if choosing his words carefully. “But it hasn’t happened thus far, and I feel more at home in being a Top.”

I nodded slowly, the words resonating. I felt the same way.

I hesitated with my next question, because I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer, and it was fucked up. I had no right to be…yeah, what was I? Territorial was too strong of a word, but I did feel possessive of what we had as best friends. I couldn’t say I longed for the day he met the man he was going to marry—if that was his thing. I knew kids weren’t.

Before I’d met Noa, that hadn’t been my scene either. He was special. More than that, he wasn’t an infant or a toddler. I couldn’t imagine waking up in the middle of the night because a baby was screaming bloody murder.

I cleared my throat and opened my Coke, and it was much easier to pretend I found the can interesting.

“You’ve never introduced me to a boyfriend,” I said.

Okay, so it wasn’t a question as much as a statement.

“No,” he confirmed.

Was that all he had to say? We weren’t kids anymore. We couldn’t even see thirty in the rearview. I hoped I’d long since shown I accepted and loved him the way he was—and that I was nothing like my folks.

The microwave dinged, and Lucian didn’t move.

I felt parched as fuck, so I gulped from my soda.

The earth wasn’t spinning as fast anymore. I wasn’t worried I’d have to throw up or anything. The falafel was doing its job, soaking up alcohol and settling my stomach.

“I don’t know who I should’ve introduced you to,” he added after a while. “Any relationship under four months is too short to know what’s going to happen, and I’ve only had one or two going over that time.” He paused briefly. “I thought about asking you to come out for beers with me and Eli, my first sub, but first we couldn’t find a date, and then we broke up. I wanted to explore more high-protocol, and he just wanted the extra spice in the bedroom.”

Extra spice in the bedroom.

Fuck. It was too easy to picture him pounding into some lucky fucker⁠—

What the hell was wrong with me?

I wasn’t actually jealous. I didn’t feel that way about Lucian. He was simply him. That was it. We went way back, he was safe, we had each other’s backs, we’d been through a lot together, and, yeah. If I was jealous of anything, it was of the intimacy. The freedom of being able to go nuts on someone you really wanted. Acting on attraction, fucking a tight ass, sucking cock, licking up every ounce of masculinity⁠—

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Please stop.

I needed to sober up more.

Hearing the floorboards creak, I opened my eyes again, only to see Lucian returning to the microwave. All while he was removing his tie and folding his suit jacket over the stool on the other side of the island. He dropped two cuff links on the marble counter before he switched the two plates and reset the timer for one minute.

With his back to me, he untucked his shirt and bent down to take off his shoes.

Fucking hell, I just wanted to grab him. Feel him, kiss him, touch him greedily, and pretend tomorrow didn’t exist.

Was I actually gonna…

I swallowed hard and took another swig of my Coke, then set it down on the counter.

If I did…would he go for it?

The possibility alone, the mere chance, that I could be kissing a man within the next minute or so was enough to make my head spin. And it would be Lucian. Other than Noa, he was the most important person on the planet for me.

How would he react?

Before I knew it, my feet were carrying me a few steps closer, and it made my pulse skyrocket. Adrenaline bolted through me next, and I registered the faint snick of him placing his watch next to his cuff links.

I came up right behind him as he tilted his head just enough to throw a glance over his shoulder, and he tensed up a bit. A beat later, he turned around to face me and furrowed his brow.

I could act right away, or I could wait until he asked me what the fuck I was doing, and then I wouldn’t know what to say. Or what might happen after. So fuck it. I didn’t want another second to tick by. I closed the distance between us, slipped my hands along his neck and jaw, and leaned in and covered his mouth with mine.

A shock of lust nearly bowled me over, though it was almost squashed by his hands coming to my sides. In a way that left me torn. Either he was going to push me away, or…he was undecided.

I kissed him harder and cupped the back of his neck, and that seemed to have an effect. His shoulder lost some tension, and he shuddered and tentatively kissed me back.

I could’ve cried with relief.

In case he planned on putting a stop to things soon, I went a little further. I needed to. I parted my lips and tried to deepen the kiss, and I let one hand drop to the hard planes of his chest.

Jesus Christ.

A violent shiver rolled through me. I started cataloguing fucking everything. The roughness, the muscles, the five-o’clock shadow across his jaw, the perfect blend of soft and firm of his lips…which were suddenly kissing me back with more force. With more wetness, with more passion. Our tongues touched—one, two seductive swipes, and then we didn’t stop.

When he backed me up against the counter of the island, I was fucking done for. There was no going back now that I’d experienced this. No more ignorance is bliss. No more trying to convince myself that I wasn’t missing out on that much.

I’d been missing out on everything.

I cupped his face in my hands to feel the way his stubbly jaw moved, the sharp lines, the contrasts. We made out hungrily, and he finally let his hands roam. He hugged me to him. He squeezed my ass.

I groaned into the kiss and⁠—

“Wait,” he said, completely out of breath. “Hold on a minute, KC.”

“Why?” That was the last thing I wanted to do.

“Oh, I can think of a hundred reasons.” He pulled away from me, only his upper body, and grabbed my jaw. “Do you need another complication in your life?”

“Depends. Are you my complication?”

He rolled his eyes and let me go altogether, and I noticed he had to adjust himself in his pants. Fuck, I’d made him hard? I hadn’t thought that far, only that I’d gotten turned on as hell, so… Yup, I had to adjust myself too.

That was hot.

“I’m the least complicated part of your life,” he told me. “You, on the other hand… However we twist this, you’re gonna find a way to be ashamed tomorrow.”

That one snapped me out of my haze.

“Some men check out another man’s ass, and that’s how you know,” he said. “Some men are subtle checking out another man’s ass, then walk around feeling like shit the rest of the day, and that’s how I’ve known you’re gay. I’ve known for ten fucking years, KC.”

Fuck my life.

I drew a breath and scrubbed a hand over my mouth and jaw.

Lucian wasn’t done. “I’m not leaving your side, but I won’t put myself in a situation where you might leave mine because you’re afraid of your parents.”

I clenched my jaw and vaguely registered that the light wasn’t on in the microwave. Christ, I hadn’t even heard it ding, I’d been so wrapped up in Lucian.

He sighed. “I know Noa isn’t the only reason you’re gonna go back to Christine.”

He just fucking knew everything, didn’t he?

“You’re starting to come off as a know-it-all, buddy,” I said.

He smirked to himself and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “And here comes the mighty deflector.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“You’re too drunk for this conversation,” he finished.

“I’m too sober to put up with your bullshit. You’re way more pleasant when we kiss.”

He sent me a sideways smile, and it was as beautiful as it was infuriating.

“It was a good kiss,” he agreed.

* * *

Present day

The day before our vacation started, I took the day off from work, finished my workout before everyone woke up, showered, had some coffee, and returned to bed.

Noa and I had spent the night in Lucian and Cam’s room after a semi-depressed evening, and I wasn’t done soaking up their warmth. More often than not, I just needed us all in the same bed. Noa did too, particularly now. One night of nightmares about us losing Lucian, followed by a day of moping around because of what Christine had caused.

I didn’t foresee Noa waking up anytime soon. He had to be exhausted.

Thank fuck he was making progress. It brought a lot of comfort. If he wasn’t buzzing around making plans for the lizard’s enclosure, he was spending time with friends or helping Cam pack for our trip. But every now and then, his mood could drop.

He was cuddled up in Cam’s arms when my head hit Lucian’s shoulder, and I pulled the duvet higher up.

He winced and turned toward me. “Your hair’s all damp and cold,” he muttered drowsily.

“Sorry—”

“Hey, I didn’t say you could move.” He swiftly hauled me close to him again, and I sighed contentedly and slipped a leg between him. “Where are the boys?”

“Right behind you, still asleep.”

He hummed and pressed his lips to my forehead.

“Mmmm, I’m awake…” Cam yawned and stretched out. “Did you work out already, Daddy?”

“I did. Get some more sleep, sweetheart,” I murmured.

Then Noa let out a sleepy groan. “I’m also awake, Daddy. And I’m soooo hungry for flutternuffers.”

Right. He’d invented a new word yesterday. To prevent mix-ups and jokes, the lizard was Fluffernutter, and the food was flutternuffer.

“Come with me downstairs.” Cam yawned again. “Bring your tablet—you can watch cartoons while I fix breakfast.”

“Awesomesauce.” Noa sat up with his bed head and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“What do you have against sleeping in this morning?” Lucian asked.

“We leave tomorrow, Owner,” Cam reasoned. “I have lots to do if I want departure day to be stress-free. And guess what. I do!”

Lucian and I rumbled a tired chuckle, and moments later, the boys padded out of the room together, both with their squishy stuffies in their grasps.

I smiled and stretched alongside Lucian, and I kissed his neck.

“We should give the boys a surprise tomorrow,” I said quietly.

“Mm…? Got any ideas?”

Actually, yes. I’d thought about two things during my workout, and one was much less troubling than the other. “I’m thinking…we order a car service, we have a nice breakfast in the lounge at the airport, I can pick up a couple of those stuffies from their wish lists, and when we get to Fort Lauderdale, we take Cam shopping for new cookware for our kitchen upgrade. We can have all the shit shipped home. His wish list at that French Le Creu…whatever the fuck, is getting longer than his defunct SLRN number.”

He grinned sleepily. “He has a new slave registry number at another site. But the rest—excellent idea. I’d like to go with you today. I have nothing else to do.”

Our poor man wasn’t handling unemployment very well, but I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t do any better.

It would be like this for a few months before he started figuring out a more permanent solution. Personally, I was hoping for private consulting because, one, he was good at it, and two, he could set healthier boundaries.

“It’s a date.” I gave him a smooch before I settled down on the pillow again, and I yawned.

Another hour of sleep couldn’t hurt.

* * *

After breakfast, Lucian and I caught a glimpse of Cam’s to-do list, so we decided to at least handle the errands for him. We were going out anyway; plus, we had a rule. If the boy insisted on keeping a job, which we respected, everything in the household couldn’t fall on him. It would be way too much, and then he’d be the one with burnout symptoms.

Lucian and I went to Tysons first, where we could get nearly everything on Cam’s list, as well as two new stuffies. We picked the biggest ones we could find, and they were pretty damn huge.

With that out of the way, we headed across the river. I called Lucas on the way to make sure they were home, and he asked if we wanted coffee.

I always did.

It sounded like Colt had something he wanted to discuss too.

“What were we picking up at their house?” Lucian asked and checked the rearview.

“Noa forgot a charger and one of his coloring books after he hung out with Kit,” I answered.

“Ah—I knew about the charger, so I didn’t get the urgency. We have hundreds.”

Each one necessary when you had a Noa. I smiled to myself and slipped on my shades. But no, the coloring book was the urgency. Noa wanted to bring it on the cruise. It contained curse words that could make his day.

I’d never forget the day he called Lucian at work and was like, “Hello, Sir Cock womble! Just wanted to say I love you dearly! Okay, bye.”

Halfway to Georgetown, we got stuck in traffic, and a month ago, Lucian would’ve been a grumbling, irritated mess, cursing at every car around us.

Not now. Now he was humming quietly to the music on the radio, holding my hand, just glancing around absently.

Cam was going to say yes when Lucian proposed, of that I was certain.

I had my guesses. Either he was popping the question during the cruise, or right after we got home. He’d had a plan for his initial proposal, two rings included. Then everything had gone sideways with his health, so now he was working on plan number two.

I looked out the window on my side and released a breath.

Well. I’d known this day was coming for years, hadn’t I?

He’d kept his promise. He’d never left my side—and I hadn’t left his. But now that we actually had each other, I found myself wanting to go all the way, at least with symbolism. Marriage as a concept had never impressed me, but I did like the ritual of it, the meaning behind it.

Noa was surprisingly much like me on the topic. It was probably the most adult conversation we’d ever had, when we’d agreed that it was best we tied the knot at some point for practical reasons. Romance and love didn’t equal marriage for us. I loved that he carried my name, that was it. That piece of paper was just…yeah, a shortcut for rights and benefits.

We would do it up our style, though. We’d talked about a destination wedding, maybe on the top of a mountain or underwater, surrounded by sea turtles and exotic fish. Something fun and adventurous, because he was making me wanna go back to some of the hobbies I’d had before I’d ended up in that damn chair.

I just had new reasons for chasing a burst of adrenaline, and it was simply to enjoy excitement with him. My biggest drug in life was to see Noa’s eyes light up.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I tilted my head Lucian’s way as we crept forward the length of one car. “Lemme see that penny.”

He chuckled.

I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. I didn’t fucking do well sitting still for longer periods of time. Those irritating tingles told me my legs were going numb.

“I was thinking about marriage, actually,” I admitted.

“Oh?” He was surprised. No wonder. “Are you and Noa…?”

“We’re in no rush,” I said. “One day, absolutely. We’ll terrify you and Cam with a ceremony in an alligator pond or something.”

He snorted softly, his dry amusement in full effect. “It wouldn’t surprise me one bit.”

Or we could swim with sharks. We’d actually talked about it for a vacation.

Lucian slipped a hand to my thigh and rubbed it firmly.

I exhaled. Fuck, that felt good. He always knew what I needed.

“I suppose I was more thinking about the symbolism behind it,” I said. “And, uh…” I eyed his hand, picturing what it would look like with a gold band. Except, on the other hand. Goddammit. He’d always been braver than me. More open, more assertive. So I was just gonna come out and say it. “Okay, the thing is—the day you and Cam get hitched—you know, in your overly romantic, alligator-free ceremony—I’ll be happy for you. I’ll feel that shit deep down, knowing you’ve finally reached a finish line you’ve wanted practically since the day you met Cam.”

He furrowed his brow. “I’m sensing a but.”

“No, that’s my thigh, and it feels so goddamn good,” I almost groaned. Jesus, right there. His hands were magical.

“Are you sure you didn’t have a one-night stand with a woman named Christine approximately twenty-two years ago?”

I grinned.

“It would explain so much.”

“Afraid not,” I chuckled.

He gave me a go-on look.

Right. I got back on track. “No buts. Just—I want something like that with you too. Something that ties us together. There. I said it.”

Fuck me if I didn’t feel exposed. I didn’t like it one bit.

My chest felt weird, and my stomach tightened.

Over the years, he’d put up with so much of my shit. My cowardice, my denial, my embarrassment. Then after the accident, he’d cranked it up even more. My staying with him had become permanent. He’d taken care of me through doctor’s appointments, rehabilitation sessions, my bursts of rage, and my depression. I’d been bordering on suicidal, and he’d pulled me out of the darkness.

I swallowed hard and rubbed at my chest. I didn’t need to get emotional, for chrissakes.

Lucian cleared his throat and withdrew his hand. Traffic was easing up a little. “You know, I’ve been so focused on making things right with Cam that I’ve neglected⁠—”

“You haven’t neglected shit, baby.” I had to make that crystal clear.

“Nevertheless—I want that too, KC.” He grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Can you leave it to me?”

I frowned, confused. “Leave what? Don’t go planning a collaring ceremony. I just want…I don’t know. Something.”

“And leave that something to me, please. I assure you, there won’t be any alligators or planes to jump out of.”

I felt my mouth twitch. “Well, now you’re taking all the fun out of it.”

He shook his head in amusement and kissed my hand again.

* * *

It was a sweaty Colt wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and a mustache who opened the door for us, and I didn’t complain about the eye candy one bit. Wait—he could lose the stacks of toys he had in his arms. They were in the way.

“Why can’t you always walk around like this?” I asked.

“Same reason you can’t,” he replied, not missing a beat. “We’d stop traffic wherever we went.”

I chuckled. Always a charmer.

“Daddy, please don’t!” Kit yelled from somewhere in the house. “I’m gonna play with them, I swear!”

I lifted my brows, and Colt sighed and shook his head as he let us in.

“That’s not the deal, and you know it, Kit!” Colt responded. Then he turned around in the hallway and wrestled the toys into a big trash bag.

“Is there something wrong with them?” Lucian wondered.

“Not at all,” Colt said. “There’s somethin’ wrong with a brat who hides credit cards around the house, though.”

Ouch. I knew exactly what he was talking about. Thankfully, Noa had an angel named Cam on his shoulder who warned him not to go nuts.

Kit came storming out into the hallway and scowled at Colt. “They’re my toys, Daddy!” He spared us a quick glance and composed himself a little. “Hello, Sirs. Nice to see you.”

“You too, brat,” I said. “You keeping your Daddies on their toes?”

“He keeps us runnin’ to the nearest donation box,” Colt corrected. He tied the bag together and faced his boy. “You ain’t winnin’ this fight, baby boy. If you buy a new toy, we donate one from your stash. That’s the deal.”

Kit huffed and stalked away. “When do I ever win fights?” he muttered to himself.

I smirked.

“I take it he’s been shopping,” Lucian deduced.

Colt wore a don’t-get-me-started expression. “It’s those goddamn Squishmallows. They’ve taken over the whole house.”

Lucian and I exchanged a brief grin. I supposed we were technically to blame for the start of Cam’s and Noa’s collections, considering we’d bought them. On the other hand, Colt had crammed at least a dozen toys into that bag, so I was guessing Kit’s pile of stuffies was larger.

“Come on, Luke’s got coffee on the patio.” Colt nodded for us to follow.

I tightened my grip on my cane and followed Lucian through the living room, the dining area, and out onto the patio.

Their pool was still covered, much like the one at Mclean, but I reckoned it was time to remedy that after the cruise. The weather was getting warmer, and we were down to the final days of March.

Lucas was sitting at the table, in the sun, reading a book. He’d put Noa’s coloring book and charger there too.

“We have company, darlin’.” Colt dipped down and kissed Lucas’s cheek, waking him up from his book coma.

“Oh—sorry. Hey, guys. I was just…” He cleared his throat. “A bit distracted by a book Macklin recommended.”

Whatever books Macklin recommended kept Cam thoroughly distracted too.

Not to mention horny as fuck.

Colt smirked and sat down next to his man. “That’s my smut whore.”

I laughed.

Lucas did not. “Colt. Could you please be civilized sometimes?”

“Surely you’re not holding out hope for that trait to magically appear, Lucas.” Lucian was a gentleman and pulled out my chair so I could sit down easier. “But I know how you feel. This heathen makes my life interesting every day.” The bastard patted me on the head before he took his seat too.

“Pardon?” I cocked a brow. “How did this become an attack on me? And Colt, for that matter. Lucas is the one reading porn when they have guests over.”

While Lucas looked at me as if I’d just sold his ass to the devil, Colt cracked up and definitely sided with me.

“Sorry, my friend, you’re on your own,” Lucian told Lucas. “I need at least two strong drinks before I argue with a lawyer.”

“Since when?” I chuckled dryly.

Colt shook his head, down to chuckles, and grabbed the thermos to pour coffee. “Always great to have you here, buddies. You don’t by any chance have any good news to share on the brat prank?”

So that’s what he wanted to talk about.

“Not a damn thing.” I nodded in thanks and got my cup. “Noa’s been trying to throw me off with false trails. That’s all.”

“Hm.” Colt handed a cup to Lucian as well. “Those li’l shits can be crafty sometimes. Kit’s upped his game lately, and now I actually gotta make an effort.”

Lucas offered an indulgent smile and patted Colt’s hand. “Which you love, sweetheart. You’ve met your match in the hell-raising department.”

“Well, yeah, don’t get me wrong,” Colt said, “’course I love it, but I’m not always a brat-crime fightin’ genius. Not many know this about me, but I can get real comfortable.”

Literally everyone knew that about him.

I grinned into my coffee.

“Moving on from that shocking discovery,” Lucian drawled. “What do we know about their plans? Can someone summarize?”

Colt and I exchanged a glance, and I nodded for him to take it.

“All right, so this is information gathered from Greer, Reese, River, KC, Walker, and myself,” he said. “We’ve narrowed it down to brats joinin’ us on the cruise—Macklin, Kit, Noa, Corey, Shay, and possibly Tate. We’re not sure about him.”

I nodded in agreement. “We also believe they’ve had help from some of the subs not tagging along. Lane, Gael, Gretchen, and Ivy.”

“Oh, Ivy’s definitely involved,” Lucas said. “We had lunch after her doctor’s appointment this week, and she was making vague mentions of sometimes having to make up for being forced to side with Tops.”

That was interesting, because she’d been forced to side with us Tops last fall, right around the time of the brat bootcamp. It was when we’d learned she was pregnant, so August, her Dom, had put his foot down. No shenanigans for her for a while. But she was still pregnant, so if she was involved, it had to be risk-free for her.

“Do we know any targets aside from Macklin’s obsession with making Ash suffer?” Lucian wondered.

Noticing that my cane was about to fall, I positioned it to lean against the table.

“We can only assume it’s the Sadists,” Colt replied. “We usually have to suffer the most.”

I nodded solemnly.

People just didn’t know our struggle.

Lucian turned a little smug. “Funny, because I do consider myself a Sadist, and I rarely find myself in the retaliation zone.”

“Because you terrify them,” I laughed.

“Or,” Lucas replied, “Sadists like Colt and KC simply don the Sadist cap as their excuse to act like children.”

Oh Christ. That was a bit see-through, Lucas.

Colt and I shared a wry smirk.

“We get it, baby.” Colt patted Lucas’s cheek. “You’re upset because we called you out on your readin’ habits.”

Precisely.

Lucas blew out a breath and sent a skyward glance, as if asking for strength.

“How do those two strong drinks sound now?” Lucian prodded.

“Oh, I need them badly,” Lucas assured.

We didn’t buy it.

“Anyway…” Colt reached for his coffee. “We might wanna come up with a strategy to make the brats either cancel the prank or move it to the house. We’re a little concerned we’ll be banned by the cruise line.”

I chuckled. That was legit. Luckily, there was more than one cruise line.

“Why don’t you challenge them?” Lucian suggested. “The ship has what, four swimming pools? Buy a bunch of Nerf guns or whatever you prefer and host a game in a pool. Losers have to be good boys.”

We didn’t need Nerf guns, but the rest of the idea wasn’t bad at all. Judging by Colt’s expression, he was on board as well.

“I propose we save the Nerf guns for when we can run around the lawn at Mclean,” Colt said, and I agreed. “But I like it. Shouldn’t be too hard to plan some fun games—in and out of a pool.”

Lucas looked like he wanted to say something. Maybe about our maturity. Either way, it made Lucian chuckle into his coffee cup.

I—

“Daddy?”

I looked over my shoulder, finding Kit in the doorway. His proverbial tail was between his legs.

“Yeah?” Colt responded.

Kit hesitated and bit his lip. He was damn sweet, that boy. All contrasts, ink, kink, and innocent cuteness.

“I, um, added a few more toys to the donation bag,” Kit said.

Oh dear.

Lucas winced and shook his head. “Don’t tell me you bought even more of those stuffies, little one.”

“No!” Kit exclaimed. He shook his head quickly, and Colt let out a breath of relief. “No, I swear. But I was wondering, um, if I could maybe have a little ice cream?”

Aww. How could one say no to that face?

Colt melted, and I couldn’t blame him. “Absolutely. Go ahead.”

“Thank you, thank you!” Kit beamed and sprinted off.

I shifted back in my seat and grabbed my mug. “He’s cute as fuck.”

Colt pointed at me. “Don’t even think about it, Casanova.”

Lucian and I laughed, and I shook my head. He had nothing to worry about.

Well… I mean, no, he had absolutely nothing to worry about, but I wouldn’t say no if they threw Kit in a pile with Noa, Cam, and maybe Corey and Gael. Why should the brats get all the voyeur fun?

“Chill—I wasn’t thinking for myself,” I promised. “But you never entertain the idea of him playing with other Littles? Aside from Corey.”

Colt shrugged. “Not really. All three of us have sharing problems.” He exchanged a brief look with Lucas. “We have our limited play with the Finlays, and that’s it for us.”

Lucian sat forward a little. “May I ask how limited? I’m just curious about the boundaries.”

Colt gestured for Lucas to answer.

“In short, the boys can play however much they want,” Lucas said. “They meet up in private quite often—but they’re not allowed to get off.”

Colt smirked.

I liked that. Let the boys rile each other up, and then the Daddies had to be there for the rest.

“The few times we’ve had the time to meet up, everyone has to be there,” Colt added. “Greer and his three have sharing problems too.”

“Well—problems isn’t the right word,” Lucas amended carefully. “We’re just not interested in playing around.”

I got that. Back when I gave fewer fucks—outside my responsibility to see a play partner through a session safely—I could have fun with just about anyone. These days, my interest in engaging with other Littles was close to zero. If it happened, I needed them to have good chemistry with Noa, like Gael and Macklin. But even when I’d participated in an orgy with them, my interactions with Gael and Macklin had been limited. I’d been more interested in playing with Santiago and fellow Tops.

I’d always liked co-topping, so maybe that played a part too.

“Sloan is my exception.” Colt smirked and took a swig of his coffee. “Having him and Luke all over me…?” He let out a whistle.

I grinned. I’d watch that.

“Sloan and I have decided that it’s because both you and Greer must be masochists,” Lucas said. “You always have to piss off Sloan first, and it’s the exact same way Greer is with me. Infuriating bastards.”

I tilted my head. Didn’t that make…

“That makes you the masochist, darlin’,” Colt drawled. Exactly. That. “We get off on having two stubborn Daddies unable to resist us even when we infuriate you.”

Lucas smashed his lips into a tight line and checked his watch. “Well, it’s five o’clock…in London. I need wine.” With that said, he rose from his seat and headed inside.

I was highly entertained.

Lucian still had curiosities, it seemed. “What about Archie? And do you interact with Corey at all?”

“Nope.” Colt leaned back and clasped his fingers across his stomach. “I mean—well, no. Not really. If we’re all in a pile together, fine, I’ll obviously help Greer hold Corey down—shit like that. Spanking, grabbing, spotting someone, no problem. It ain’t like we’re allergic to each other, but—” He shrugged. “I have no interest in goin’ there.”

Lucian hummed and sat back too.

“Why?” Colt glanced at us. “Are y’all changing your boundaries?”

“No, not at all.” Lucian shook his head. “I’m only fascinated by how others make things work for them. Cam and I probably have the most clear-cut limits.” No lie. They were monogamous, not counting what we shared as a foursome. “KC and Noa are a different matter.”

“But I’ve noticed that too.” I nodded at Colt. “The lack of interest these days—or how it’s shifted, rather. When it comes to bottoms, it’s more about who I wanna see Noa with. And Cam.” I put a hand on Lucian’s arm. “Sorry, but I do drag him into my fantasies with others.”

“As long as it stays at that,” Lucian chuckled.

Colt lifted his brows. “Our problem is that Macklin knows all this. We didn’t sway him for shit at the playtime after the event. He paid attention to how Greer and I didn’t get too close to others, how Kingsley stuck to KC, and Ty was only there for Walker and their boys.”

Very true.

I scrubbed a hand over my jaw, wondering what other card we could play. Frankly, we weren’t used to Macklin being on the brats’ side.

Timing wasn’t on our side either. We had less than twenty-four hours in Fort Lauderdale before we boarded the ship for a week in the sun, and we had almost nothing to go on. We had suspects but no clues.

* * *

“What do you think about that spot over there?” I pointed at a random wall in the dining room, and Noa looked so I could steal a few of his fries.

I’d finished mine.

“What spot?”

I chewed and reached for my ice water. “I guess it disappeared.”

He whipped his head around, eyes filled with suspicion. He looked at Lucian and Cam, both amused, then at his plate.

“Daddy! Did you steal my fries again?”

“Why would I do that?” I retorted.

He huffed and gave me a look, all while he took another bite of his burger that was sort of falling apart. He couldn’t sit still, so he had lettuce and onion flying every time he made a jerky movement.

Feeling particularly hungry tonight, I started raiding the extra sides Cam had ordered. Onion rings, mozzarella sticks, and chicken fingers.

Cam finished his burger and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “May I just say this is an odd way to celebrate that Master’s blood pressure has come down a bit?”

I chuckled.

“Not odd. Wonderful.” Lucian spoke with his mouth full. He was classy that way.

Noa scrunched his face in confusion. “I thought we got takeout so we wouldn’t have dirty dishes.”

“I was making a joke,” Cam replied.

“Oh.” Noa swallowed what was in his mouth. “Be funnier.”

“Be nice,” I told him pointedly.

Cam snickered. “He’s just mad I changed my ringtone for him. I saved a snippet from the tickling video where Noa’s laughing so hard he’s screaming and choking.”

“I’d like to see you do better!” Noa yelled.

“That’s enough from both of you,” Lucian ordered. “Let me enjoy this cheesy goodness in peace.”

To be fair, the video was hilarious, and it was currently raking in comments from fellow community members.

Now we only had one more task to complete from Noa’s notes. The wet-sex scene. I was looking forward to that a whole fucking lot.

Noa’s phone buzzed on the table, and I made a face as he got mayo on the screen when he unlocked it.

He laughed at whatever message he’d received. “Franklin is such a slut bag.”

“What did he do this time?” I asked.

“Tate sent me a link. Look.”

I stuck half a mozzarella stick into my mouth as he showed me the screen, and I coughed. Perhaps not the best dinner material! Christ. I peered closer. Jack had uploaded a photo in his album, and it was of Franklin lying spread-eagled on his stomach with a dildo stuck up his ass.

I liked the caption. Jack might be young, but he knew how to keep his humiliation slut happy.

I don’t even need to tie the cock slave to the bed. As long as it gets its ass stuffed, it does whatever I tell it.

“Speaking of Tate,” Cam said, turning to Lucian. “May Noa and I go out to buy Tate and Master Kingsley a gift when we get to Fort Lauderdale?”

“Oh yeah!” Noa nodded excitedly. “We picked out two Squishies to represent them as daddies, and they can give the stuffies to their baby.”

That was sweet of them. Everyone was understandably very happy for Tate and Kingsley. Tate had announced online today that “Life will change irrevocably for Master and me this fall when we welcome our first child into the world.”

“That sounds like a great plan,” Lucian replied with a nod. “We only have an errand and a dinner reservation planned for tomorrow, so there’s plenty of time.”

Great, it was settled. Perhaps we could move on now. Early flight, early bedtime.

In addition, I hadn’t wrestled the PVC sheets onto Lucian’s bed because it was fun. Nor had I stuck to water the past several hours because it was delicious.

I wanted my diaper boys.

* * *

Once I’d placed my luggage at the door, I was done for the day. We were ready for our vacation. The house was spotless, all bags were packed and waiting in the hallway, devices were being charged, and the fridge had been cleared of items that would expire.

Lucian and I headed upstairs, and I had to activate the lift because I was so fucking tired. Most of the time, I could walk up on my own.

“I’ll go make sure the boys are ready,” he said. He walked ahead of me, down the hall, and poked his head into the bathroom. “When you’re done brushing your teeth, you can both lube up properly and put on diapers. They’re under the sink.”

“Aw, man!” Noa complained.

“I told you,” Cam sang. “That’s what the cameras are for.”

I didn’t know why Noa made such a fuss over diaper play. Sooner or later, the humiliation of the play got him off hard.

“I didn’t know Daddy and I would be in your room!” Noa argued. “The cameras could’ve been for something Uncle Lucian planned for you two.”

“Well, it’s not,” Lucian replied mildly. “It’s our last day to complete the wet-sex task.”

Noa huffed. “Okay, so…let’s just go into the shower—Daddy can film—and you pee on me real quick.”

I smirked and powered off the lift as I reached the landing.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lucian asked. “Besides, Daddy and Cam deserve some fun too.”

And I would get my fun. With my freckles. The note had been clear—it was up to the Owner to decide how the wet-sex challenge should look, and he’d decided. It would be the four of us.

Tightening the grip on my cane, I walked into Lucian and Cam’s bedroom for final preparations. In short, strip down and cue up the videos. The bed had been fitted with the right sheets, we had two cameras and one phone on tripods ready to catch several angles, the light had been dimmed to secure the right balance between cozy and good camera lighting, and we’d cranked up the thermostat a bit.

“You got diapers on your brain if you automatically guess that’s what we’re gonna do…” Noa was muttering to himself in the bathroom.

“Or I can put two and two together,” Cam retorted. “I saw cameras on tripods around the bed, and I knew you still had the wet-sex thing. And since Daddy and Master opted for the bed and not the shower, it’s a fair assumption to go with diapers to prevent a huge mess the night before we go on vacation.”

I smiled and draped my clothes over a chair.

“That’s actually kinda smart,” Noa said. “You’re a smart boy! Yes, you are! Oh yes, you are! Such a smart boy.”

“I will kick you in the shin,” Cam threatened.

“Boys, that’s enough. I think you two need a date during the cruise.”

Lucian wasn’t wrong. The boys’ kinky brotherhood could easily get out of control when they were both left to their Little devices for too long. And until Cam and Lucian had upped their TPE time to balance out the more lax structure, it was natural for Cam to slide into a mix of Little and slave. He preferred the slave, but with a strong influence from Noa as a Little, it had to be close to impossible not to get sucked in.

A date was also a good fix. A date where Cam and Noa got to tend to each other as boyfriends and equals.

Lucian joined me in the bedroom and hauled his polo over his head. “Speaking of dates, I booked an excursion for us on that private island in the Bahamas.”

“Yeah?” I got comfortable on my back and slipped a hand under my head.

These sheets—I liked them. They weren’t as thick and stiff as the previous bed-wetter sheets we’d had.

“We’re there for four hours,” he went on. “So I figured, you and I—we’ll have a cabana on the beach. It’s a secluded part. Some drinks, snacks, a big beach bed to ourselves… And Colt asked if we wanted to go snorkel with him and Kit, and maybe we don’t. Maybe only Cam and Noa will.”

I grinned, liking where this was heading. Colt could watch our boys.

“I wanna snorkel!” Noa hollered, bursting into the room. Fuck me, he was sexy wearing his little diaper. “Oooh, you’re naked, Daddy.”

Sexy and observant.

Cam followed, no bursting or yelling, but adorable as fuck, nonetheless.

Damn, I was tempted to put them both on doll mode tonight.

“It would actually be nice if we could go over our itinerary,” Cam said. “Master’s right, Noa. We need a date. We never bicker when we’re alone. It’s essentially Master’s and Daddy’s fault.”

Oh-ho!

“Oh, is it now?” Lucian lifted his eyebrows.

“Totes,” Noa giggled. He dragged Cam with him onto the bed, and the two cuddled it up in the middle. “I like these sheets! They’re much softer than the old ones.”

I flicked Lucian a glance. “Don’t feed the trolls, baby.”

“Then you’d starve, Sir,” Cam teased me.

I had nothing to say in response. I was just sickeningly in love with the banter and this…this new dynamic developing between us.

Lucian got on the bed, right behind Cam, and kissed his shoulder. “At some point, you need to stop denying you’re a brat.”

Always a good button to push. Cam loved to deny he had brat tendencies.

“Actually, don’t speak,” Lucian added. Cam promptly smashed his lips shut and narrowed his eyes. I was sure his retort would’ve been bratty. Lucian looked over at me. “What is it you tell Noa sometimes…? Doll mode?”

Oh, fuck yes.

“That’s the one.” I nodded.

“Excellent.” Lucian dipped down and kissed Cam’s cheek. “Doll mode,” he whispered. “Daddy and I don’t need you for this next part.”

Lust rolled through me, and I gave Noa the same command. But as far as I knew, Cam hadn’t engaged in doll play before, so I elaborated for him.

“That means no sounds, no movements,” I said quietly. “You pay attention to the smallest twitches, how your eyes track us, your facial expressions, shivers, and swallowing. You do your best to suppress any outward signs unless you need to safeword. Am I making myself clear? Nod once.”

Testing, testing.

Noa was used to this by now, but Cam caught on quick as well. He didn’t respond verbally; they offered a single nod, and that was that. Both lay there completely listless, gazes empty.

I took a deep breath and ran my hand down Noa’s side.

Fucking exquisite.

I cleared my throat. “So you wanna get the itinerary out of the way before we watch porn?”

Lucian nodded. “Sounds good.”

While he reached for his and Cam’s iPad on the nightstand, I reached for the TV remote on this side. I could make sure the videos were in order as he spoke.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been on a cruise, so I was excited. We’d booked an entire block of big staterooms with verandas, and the last room had eventually gone to Ash. Initially, it’d been Jack and Franklin, though they had pulled out early, with Jack reasoning, “LGBTQ-friendly is great, but if we’re going on a cruise, I want a straight-up BDSM theme so I can parade Franklin around in a cock cage.”

After that, we’d had a few maybes from Penelope, Santiago, and Beau.

In the end, River and Walker had caught Ash on a week when Nathan had their kids, so Ash had been happy with a distraction.

“Okay, let’s see…” Lucian sat up and made his way to their calendar app where Cam kept all the notes for our family. “Saturday, nothing in particular planned. Sunday, Nassau. Monday, we’re at sea. Tuesday, we reach the Virgin Islands, and we start with St. Thomas. St. Croix follows on Wednesday, then the cruise line’s private island in the Bahamas on Thursday before we return home fairly early on Friday.”

I kept my laughter to myself, but damn. Well done, Cam, for keeping a straight face. I mean, that was less than the bare minimum of “going over our itinerary.” He’d mentioned nothing of our dinner plans or what we had in store as a community.

In short, Lucian had rambled the shit Cam already knew.

“Do we need to discuss anything else?”

I shook my head, rearranging the order of two videos. “No, I’m good. That was very informative.”

“I thought so too.” He returned the iPad to the nightstand, then got out of bed and switched on the cameras. I’d already made sure the angles were good, so he only needed to make minor adjustments.

I pushed play on the first video but muted the sound. It was meant to be background spice, not a headliner.

With all that out of the way, I just wanted to focus on my little fuck-doll. Noa had come so damn far in managing his movements that I was downright proud of him. It wasn’t as easy as it looked, especially when you were usually so energetic.

I positioned myself right behind him and let my hand roam his entire side, down so I could stretch out his legs, then up again. I kissed his neck and pinched his nipple. Not a twitch. I slid two fingers into his mouth, and he wasn’t even swallowing against the slow flow of saliva.

“Fucking gorgeous,” I whispered. “My adorable little diaper doll has his holes ready for Daddy.”

Lucian exhaled and pushed Cam closer to Noa, until the boys were pressed up against each other in the center of the bed.

I met Lucian in a kiss as I slipped a hand down Noa’s diaper. Hard already. That wasn’t surprising. I squeezed his cock, and Lucian gently pushed his tongue around mine.

Desire heated up the air around us, and my needs grew louder and more demanding. With the added discomfort that I was closing in on my limit for how hard I could get, before going to the bathroom became more important. We’d been chugging water for hours.

“Grab me the shears,” I murmured.

He broke away and turned over to get them from the nightstand.

In the meantime, I threw a glance at the flat-screen, where Kingsley had Tate strapped to a St. Andrews cross and was fucking him brutally.

A shudder ran through me, and I inched away enough to get a good look at Noa’s diapered bottom.

I squeezed his butt cheeks roughly. “We’re gonna fill this with piss and come.”

Lucian was back, and he got on his knees and leaned over the boys to assist me. When I pinched the diaper, getting a big chunk of it, he cut it off and created a hole for my cock.

This was why I never wanted the fabric diapers I sometimes saw being marketed for BDSM crowds. Fuck it, gimme an actual diaper for adults.

“They should fucking sell these,” I said. “Diapers with glory holes for impatient Daddies.”

Lucian snorted softly, and I didn’t miss Noa’s little twitch. Boy wanted to laugh.

Once we’d created a hole in Cam’s diaper too, we could finally get started. I couldn’t fucking keep my hands off Noa. I pulled one knee up and stroked my cock quickly, making sure nothing was obstructing the camera view, and I double-checked that Noa had used enough oil.

Motherfuck.

Two fingers slipped right into his little asshole, and I felt him doing his best not to contract his muscles.

Lucian opted for another position with Cam. He wrestled the boy onto all fours, though his arms and head slumped limply against the mattress, and it was the sexiest fucking thing. The discomfort the boys put themselves through to please us…

I couldn’t wait any longer. I fisted my cock and dragged the head around Noa’s glistening hole, with the puffy diaper material surrounding my girth, and I started pushing in. Fucking hell, porn had been a terrible idea. I was barely gonna spare a glance at the TV when I had all this in my own home.

Lucian let out a low groan, and I watched his big, beautiful cock disappear into the diaper and Cam’s ass.

It spurred me on.

I hiked an arm under Noa’s leg and pulled it up, and then I set a steady pace and fucked him for the cameras.

My limber little boy. I could use him however the fuck I wanted. He took my pain, my greed, and my manhandling. Not a single movement or sound from him, even when I pulled his knee up high enough for me to kiss it and scraped my teeth along it.

“Perfect doll,” I said, out of breath. “Fucking perfect. All tight and wet around Daddy’s cock.” Now we just needed to fill his diaper the way only Daddy could.

The sound of skin slapping against skin had been replaced by labored breathing, groans, and a soft, muted rustle whenever my pelvis hit the padding, and it was as hot as it was frustrating. Because that was usually a sound I chased, so now it made me go harder and faster, as if I could break through the diaper and redden his bare ass.

Lucian moaned. He fell forward and began fucking Cam into the mattress. “My exquisite slave doll, you’re going to take everything I give you. Every drop of your Owner’s come and piss.”

I shuddered and released Noa’s leg. I needed to feel more of him. I buried my face against his neck and let my free hand roam. His heart hammered, such a contrast to the lifelessness of his form. Gaze blank, saliva trickling out, no movement. But inside, threatening to implode… I rubbed my way down his chest. I traced the tension in his abs with my fingertips. I dropped lower, into his diaper, and found his cock wet with pre-come.

“My filthy little fuck-baby,” I whispered breathlessly against his neck. “You live for Daddy’s obsession, don’t you? You just can’t help yourself.”

He couldn’t help but tense up when I stroked him, fast and firmly, and I took that as a sign. He wouldn’t be long—but then, neither would I.

The pressure built up on top of the dull ache in my lower abdomen, and the thought of not having to hold anything back almost made me come right then and there.

A familiar current surged through me, stripped me of my humanity, and I became the animal my boy loved. I pounded into him, my fingers dug into his flesh, and I only saw what I could claim and what pleasures I could grant myself.

“Almost there.” I let out a harsh breath and grazed my teeth along the shell of his ear. He couldn’t suppress his shivers, and it turned me on to break his exterior. His breathing came out faster. His cock was so hard.

Within seconds, I felt him—and I heard Lucian. Lucian was coming, and so was Noa. The faintest whimper fell from my boy’s lips as he coated my hand and his diaper with his come.

I let go.

I sank my teeth into his shoulder, fucked him as hard as I could, and felt the pleasure unfurling within me. The pressure on my bladder dulled the intensity of my orgasm but managed to drag it out instead somehow. I came deep inside him as my lungs burned for air.

Goddamn.

A groan burst out of me before I had to suck in a breath to fill my lungs, and I ground my cock deeper as the last drops coated him from the inside.

The ache on my bladder persisted, but not for long. I smeared Noa’s come over his stomach, up his chest, and sucked on his neck. Soon, he’d get all of Daddy.

We had a few more moments for me to cherish. Before Noa would be his chatty self and crack jokes, before Cam got smirky and wry and mumbled about doing laundry the night before vacation. Before we showered together and… Hm. If Lucian could get inspired by me and put Cam on doll mode, perhaps I would do the same and put Noa on speech restrictions in the shower.

As my cock softened, the last pressure evaporated when I let go one more time.

Noa gasped softly when he felt me, and I slipped my hand up to grab him in a featherlight choke hold.

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “Daddy’s just filling your diaper. You’ve been such a good boy.”

He whimpered and squirmed, and he pushed back against me.

Fuck, it felt so good.

Cam started moving too. Soft moans and pleas let me know he hadn’t come yet, but I was sure Lucian had plans for him.

“Let it run out, slave,” Lucian murmured. “It’s okay to move. Roll around in the mess.”

A strange blanket of filthy peace landed over us, and it got me hooked in a second. The boys didn’t get loud or anything; they just squirmed and tried to shift closer to us. Noa reached around me to grab a handful of my hair, and we met over his shoulder in a slow, wet kiss.

“Now you’re my little piss baby too,” I whispered.

He giggled under his breath and twisted his fingers in my hair. “I’ll be whatever you want, Daddy.”

I had no fucking words.