Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Noa Hayles

“You listen to me now, pup. You are a strong, fast little boy, and you can get all the eggs you want if you put your mind to it.”

Mean face. Run faster. Hop over those stones!

“I hear you, Uncle Lucian. I will be super fast!”

“That’s my boy. And one more thing…” He dipped down and whispered in my ear. “Avoid the orange eggs. Okay? This is between you and me.”

I gasped, spotting a purple egg on the other side of the creek. But dammit, it looked like Tate had seen it too! He was running over there! Fuck. I sucked in a breath and jumped across the creek, and I ran as fast as I could.

“Don’t you dare, Noa!” he called.

I grunted and sidestepped a tree trunk. “Haven’t you heard, teacher’s pet? I’m fearless!”

I sprinted the last bit and dove for the fist-sized egg, knees hitting the underbrush, and I almost crashed into a baby spruce and all its million needles. I panted my ass off and hurriedly removed my drawstring backpack to stow the plastic egg inside.

I had seven eggs now!

Once I was back on my feet, I saw Kit and Shay farther away, near the tiny clearing toward the back of the forest. Gael—I saw him too. And Corey, and Gretchen… The forest wasn’t that big, and we had twenty-four subs competing for the eggs. But no orange for me! I mean, I was no dummy. I totally knew the Sadists hadn’t filled all eggs with yummy treats. They actually felt empty, all of them.

I hadn’t figured out the method to their madness. Yellow eggs, pink eggs, purple, blue, green, and orange. Each color had to represent something if Uncle Lucian had advised me to avoid orange.

“This is your two-minute warning!” one of the monitors yelled nearby.

I chewed on my lip and looked around, but I couldn’t see anyone. It’d sounded like Mister Nathan, though.

Two minutes. Hmm. I should start making my way back—and I could search on the way.

It was settled.

I took off in a jog and crossed the creek higher up, and in the distance, I spotted Corey bagging an egg.

I searched the ground for any pastel color, which was easier said than done! The trees didn’t have leaves yet, but the world was budding. The ground was covered in patches of tiny flowers in bright colors.

Someone ran up behind me and continued up the hill—it was Kit.

“Gots to hurry!” he hollered.

I huffed. I wanted to find one more!

I started zigzagging my way back to civilization, and I decided to look for eggs until we got the one-minute warning. Because, let’s face it. If we were exchanging these eggs for bags of candy later, I wanted as many as possible because I loved candy, and also, I wanted snacks for the fuckfest tonight.

“Sixty seconds to go!” This time, it was River I heard.

I finally found an egg in front of a fallen tree. I darted over there and stuffed it in my pocket. A green egg. Awesome! I wondered if this color meant anything. I brushed some dirt off it, then picked up in a run again. Eight eggs would have to do!

I ran, ran, ran, and ran until I broke through the tree line, and then I ran some more! The monitors had set up a long table just off the pool area, and a bunch of bowls sat on it. Oh! Oh my God, Colt and Reese were wearing pink bunny ears!

I laughed as I ran closer. “Looking good, bunnies!”

Colt glanced over at me. “Statin’ the obvious, but thanks, little one.”

I giggled breathlessly and aimed for the others who’d returned. Among them, Kit, Corey, Lane, Shay, Tate, and Macklin.

“Go Noa!” I heard Cam cheer.

I turned toward our cabin and beamed, and I waved to Cam and Daddy. “I got eight eggs!”

“Good job, freckles!” Daddy gave me a thumbs-up.

Uncle Lucian was waiting with the other Tops on the other side of the pool, so I had to wave to him also, of course. I hoped he was proud! I’d run as fast as I could!

“Eight eggs!” I called.

He smiled proudly. “Excellent job, sweetheart.”

Fist-pump!

“Y’all can form a neat line as we wait for the last egg hunters!” Colt ordered.

I did my best to catch my breath, and I took my spot between Macklin and Kit.

“You gotta keep an eye on your Daddy today,” Macklin said, super quiet.

I scrunched my nose. “I always keep an eye on him. He’s a hottie.”

He snorted softly in amusement. “I mean because he’s suspecting something. It’s not just Reese, Colt, and Greer. KC’s part of it.”

Ohhhh.

“And we don’t want anyone figuring anything out before the cruise,” he added.

That was true. We wanted our Owners to give us a hot show, and it would be just like them to cancel if they turned suspicion into certainty about what we were up to.

“I think I can sway him.” I spoke under my breath. “No one ever expects me to be a good actor, so I can let something slip. Like, we’ll come up with a more innocent prank that can explain some of our tracks today, and then I’ll let Daddy catch me.”

Macklin turned pensive and leaned forward, exchanging a look with Lane.

“Don’t get me involved any further,” Lane said. “I’m not putting my ass on the line for a prank I don’t get to see the results of.”

That was fair. Lane wasn’t coming on the cruise because he and Ty wanted to be alone in their Florida house. Gael had set a similar limit. He’d been a lookout earlier, but he didn’t wanna do more than that.

Kit inched closer to me. “Let’s not forget that our Tops might be in the middle of planning a sexy surprise for us. If they catch us with a prank, we can kiss the biggest Top orgy goodbye before it happens.”

Totally.

Corey leaned closer to us too.

“I’m still on the fence about that,” Macklin replied quietly. “Colt and Reese have had their casual thing going for years—they make out when they’re drunk, and that’s that. I don’t think they’ve ever actually done any heavy play together. Unless they’ve had Lucas between them, maybe.” He shook his head. “Either way, I won’t be taken for a ride just because they flirt a little. It doesn’t mean anything. What does mean something is that Colt has zero interest in playing outside his established dynamics.”

Kit nodded thoughtfully.

“Same with Papa Bear,” Corey chimed in. “He can make kissy faces for fun with close friends, like Kingsley, like KC, like Reese, like Colt—you know? But he won’t take part in an open orgy. He’s said those days are behind him. He and Colt co-top within our playtime arrangement, and that’s all.”

I knitted my brows together. This was so strange! Then why were the Tops acting all cute with one another?

“I don’t foresee Reese getting involved either,” Macklin added. “He’ll watch anyone fuck, but I don’t think he’ll do anything beyond making out with buddies. And they can very well be doing this to screw with us.”

“But are we sure?” I pressed. “Think about it. Reese has been vocal about wanting to see Shay, Lane, Macklin, and Tate together, right? What if he’s okay with a one-time thing? Just a bunch of Tops getting it on?”

Macklin sighed wistfully. “As sexy as that would be, I think it’s wishful thinking. Reese, Colt, and Greer can make a show of something, but they’re locked down. That’s what my gut is telling me. Now, KC, on the other hand? Or my Master? Or Santiago? They’re more flexible. We have different boundaries.”

“We have slightly different limits for Lucas and Sloan, though,” Kit whispered.

“That’s true,” Corey added.

Dammit, we had to discuss this further later. The Tops were ready to continue with the event. Reese, Colt, Greer, Nathan, and River had gathered behind the long table, and Mr. West was on his way too.

“Now that you all have your collection of eggs, I bet you’re curious to know if a big loot is good or bad,” Reese said with a grin.

“We assume bad, Sir,” Macklin drawled.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “We always assume it’s bad when it’s you.”

“So much attitude.” Reese shook his head. “I already have Walker’s permission to punish Macklin—question is if I have Lucian’s.”

“Yes,” I replied quickly. “You have his permission to punish Macklin also.”

That earned me a bunch of laughter, and I beamed with pride.

“I’d be careful if I were you, darling,” Uncle Lucian said somewhere behind me.

Crap.

I raised my brows at Reese. “He’s talking to you, darling.”

Colt’s mouth twitched with mirth.

Reese had a better poker face at the moment, and it was a little scary. He just stared at me with a blank expression, and dammit, it made me fidget. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other and tested an innocent smile.

In response, he slid his gaze to the others and continued. “You may bring out your eggs and give us a final count!”

Part of me wanted to exhale and go, Dodged it. But I’d been around long enough to know I hadn’t dodged squat. Our Sadists were excellent at choosing their timing, and they were usually not in any rush.

I shrugged off my drawstring pack and made sure not to forget the green egg I’d stashed in my pocket.

Over the next several minutes, all twenty-four subs let the Tops know how many eggs we had—and in which colors—and the Tops wrote everything down. Nathan jotted down my digits when it was my turn.

I returned the eggs to a big box they kept next to the table. Two yellow, two pink, two blue, one purple, one green.

Now what? I was guessing the answers lay in the bowls. There was one for every color, and the notes carried the same colors as the eggs. Countless little sticky notes filled the bowls, and I was itching to find out if there was any information on them. I saw another box also, and Colt picked it up and placed it on the table.

“Good news first!” he announced. “Blue and green eggs represent candy!”

My mouth popped open. That meant I was getting three servings of candy or candy bars! Oh my gosh!

“We’re getting candy!” I cried out. “Yes!”

“Can we eat it right away, Bunny Daddy?” Kit asked excitedly.

“You sure can, li’l darlin’.” Colt smirked and lifted the lid on the box.

“I’m more worried about what comes after,” Tate said.

I didn’t wanna think about that right now. Candy came first!

I watched, entranced, as River and Nathan listed subs and how many candy eggs they’d found, and Colt and Reese started slinging small cellophane bags filled with Easter treats.

“Shay, four bags,” Reese said, to which River tossed four bags to Shay.

“Kit, two bags.”

“Darnell, four bags.”

“Tate, three bags.”

“Mateo…six bags.”

Hot damn.

“Gretchen, three bags.”

“Noa, three bags.”

Yesss, my turn!

I sucked in a breath and caught them one by one, and I instantly tore into the first one. Yummy! There were at least a dozen pieces of candy in each bag, so this was awesome! I chewed on a grape taffy and unwrapped a tiny lollipop. Blue-raspberry flavor, my second favorite after cherry.

Since the candy tossing wasn’t done yet, I hurried over to Uncle Lucian on the other side of the pool, but it appeared the Tops were on their way over to us. We met halfway.

“Look how much candy I won, Uncle Lucian!” I spoke with my mouth full.

He chuckled and accepted the bags, ’cause I needed him to keep them for me. “This is quite the loot, my chipmunk. Maybe it’s best I let Daddy keep it safe for you. I’m about to get my own fun.”

Uh-oh!

I eyed him suspiciously and took one more candy. “I thought today was an Easter celebration. It won’t be very painful, will it?”

As mentioned, I was no dummy! I knew the Sadists had planned for a sadistic twist—but still. Easter was a joyous affair. It should be filled with candy and bunny ears, and so far, the Sadists had delivered.

“I think it’s important you remember that I love you,” Uncle Lucian said. “Go back to your little friends. I’ll leave this with Daddy.”

I huffed. And I took one more candy. Okay, two. Then I turned on my heel and stalked back to my “little friends.”

“I think it’s important you remember that I love you,” I mocked under my breath.

Drat!

That meant pain. Ugh.

I mean, I loved certain types of pain, yo. But it’d been a rough week, and I just wanted cuddles and candy. Okay? No pain, no nightmares, no silence. In fact, I was gonna ask Daddy if we could stay here tonight, ’cause there was more life out here. More energy. More people.

I crunched away on my lollipop and returned to Macklin and Kit just in time.

“…which means that everyone who found at least one yellow egg can step forward,” Reese was saying.

I took a step forward, ’cause that was me! I’d actually found two yellow eggs.

Colt cleared his throat and shifted a lollipop from one cheek to the other. “Drum roll… Yellow represents marked and wet.”

Guuuh.

“In this bowl,” he continued and stuck his hand in the bowl of yellow sticky notes, “we’ll find fun activities that turn you either marked or wet in some way—and we’ll start with Kit as an example. You found two yellow eggs, didn’t you, baby boy?”

Kit made a face around a mouthful of candy. “Um, yes, Sir.”

Colt nodded and took two notes from the bowl, and he unfolded them. Then he grinned. “Congratulations. You get to enjoy one golden shower and one temporary tattoo that says Sadists are Always Right.”

“Eeep!” Kit slapped his hands over his face. “Can we please stick to below-the-neck for the golden shower?”

“Yes,” Colt chuckled, turning to the rest of us. “Your Owners will modify the kink to follow your hard limits—not your soft limits. If a note hits your hard limit, we pick a new one.”

Oh goodness. I didn’t have enough limits!

“To speed the process along, come get your yellow and orange notes from Colt and me now!” Reese commanded. “For the record, orange is all about bondage and restrictions!”

Fuck me, I’d never loved Uncle Lucian more! He’d protected me from restraints, knowing how much I hated that.

I glanced behind me and found him returning from leaving my candy with Daddy and Cam, and I sent him a grateful smile.

He winked.

I heard Nathan’s voice next. “In the meantime, you can come to Lucas and me for your pink and purple notes. Pink is tickling and clamping, and purple is whipped and paddled.”

Okay, that was way better. I wasn’t ticklish, except for my feet, so I hoped I got a note that said twenty minutes of tickling my ribs. ’Cause that would be like Daddy rubbing my belly after I’d had too much ice cream.

The line to Reese and Colt was shorter, so I went for my yellow notes first.

Please no pee-pee notes, please no pee-pee notes!

It just wasn’t my thing. With a single exception—when Daddy used it to objectify me during our doll play. Then I loved it. In the shower, nowhere else. Unlike Cam, I could never get used to doing it in a diaper.

I scratched my head and took a step closer. Shay was just about to receive his yellow note—only one for him—and I caught his eyebrows hitching higher and higher as he read it. Reese was smirking, so he probably liked whatever it was.

“Shit,” Shay muttered.

“What does it say?” Tate peered closer, only to wince. “Christ. Have fun with that.”

“I wanna know too!” I squeezed between Lane and Corey.

Shay held out the note for me.

Enjoy a session with a branding iron. Video must be uploaded online within two weeks and remain public for a minimum of three days.

Oh my God.

Shay looked up at Reese and narrowed his eyes. “You made sure I got this one, Daddy.”

Reese took on a what-the-fuck expression. “Are you callin’ me a cheater, boy?”

Yikes. Tread carefully, Shay!

I squeezed my way over to Colt. “Two yellow notes, thank you.”

He handed me two notes, and I braced myself.

Deep breaths.

I stepped out of the way and unfolded the first.

For at least four hours, you will be your Owner’s Post-it pad. Images of all notes must be uploaded to the Mclean House public photo album. (Your Owner can read the terms and conditions in the event group.)

I chewed on my lip. That wasn’t too bad. Uncle Lucian could draw freaking raccoon eyes on me, and I’d just laugh.

“I take it no winners will be announced today?” I asked no one in particular.

Colt smirked faintly. “We mentioned this before the egg hunt, little one. We’re announcin’ part-one winners today—those who found the most eggs. And part-two winners before the next Game.”

Oh, right. Right, right. I remembered now.

I unfolded the other note.

Within two weeks, your Owner will upload a video of a wet-sex session of their choosing. The video must be available for public viewing in our online community for a minimum of three days.

Ugh, there we go. I scratched my nose and made a face.

“Yessss,” Corey hissed nearby. “I’ve never been happier to receive a waterboarding.”

“So unfair!” I called out. “So nobody will pee on Corey?!”

Several others cracked up, and Master Greer trailed closer. “Not this time, I guess.”

Fingers crossed for another time, then! If I was going to suffer, so was everyone. Darn it all.

Before too long, I was at the front of the other line, and I received two pink notes and one purple.

“Goddammit!” Tate cursed. “Fucking Tied-Up Toes!”

Oh, ewww. I hated Tied-Up Toes! Worst bondage game ever. I’d suffered so hard with that one at Kit’s Christmas party. But that must’ve been an orange note since it was about bondage and restraints, so I felt safe.

I swallowed nervously and unfolded a pink note.

Enjoy an hour with weighted clover clamps in intervals of ten minutes on your nipples. Your Owner decides the weight.

“Fuck,” I whispered. RIP, my poor nipples.

“Hell yes! I love the pinwheel!” someone yelled out. “Mark me up, Sir!”

I threw them a scowl. Why couldn’t I get sounding or a painful kink I loved?

I went with the next pink note.

Time to strap you down for ten minutes of your Owner tickling your feet.

“Motherfucker!” I shouted.

Anger flooded me, and I unfolded the last note. The purple crap note.

Your Owner would like to introduce you to Master Walker’s latest spiked paddle. Your date will last for half an hour.

I gritted my teeth and stalked toward Uncle Lucian. Fine, whatever, paddling, let’s do it. I’d rather get beaten with a spiked paddle than strapped down and tickled.

“It’s hard to remember that you love me right now,” I told him. “It’s a lot of suffering for one cute Little such as myself.”

Lucian tried not to be too amused, and he accepted the notes from me so he could read them. Read them, save them, make a list out of them, and report them to the volunteers so they knew what to expect from me.

“Listen up, everyone!” Mr. West called out. “We obviously encourage all Owners to complete as many notes as possible right here where we can enjoy the show!”

I stuck my tongue out in the general direction of Mr. West and all the other volunteers for the event.

Lucian started chuckling. “This is helpful—my personal Post-it. And a bit of tickling, huh? How fun.” He turned one note around; maybe it’d been upside down. And he smiled. “Wet sex. Interesting.”

I folded my arms over my chest. “Why do you always have to pee on me, man?”

He barked out a laugh. His eyes were happy as he glanced down at me, the sun catching in his gaze, and I liked that part. I just hated the reason.

“To my knowledge, that has never happened before,” he noted.

“And it never should,” I pointed out.

He draped an arm around my shoulders and dipped down. “Fair enough.” He kissed my cheek. “I won’t pee on you. I’ll pee inside you instead.”

I whipped my head around and almost knocked my forehead against his. “Inside?!”

He hummed and kissed me softly. “Right after I fill you with my come.”

Oh. I chewed on the inside of my cheek and considered it. So he’d use me as a come dumpster and then relieve himself also?

“I’m conflicted,” I decided.

He liked that. “Good.”

I could only shake my head because this was weird and overwhelming and funny and frustrating and—I had to tell Daddy! He was some thirty feet away, but my voice carried.

“Daddy!” I shouted. “Uncle Lucian’s gonna doodle on me, pee in me, tickle me, and paddle me! Can we arrest him for Little abuse?”

Daddy squinted for the sun and didn’t miss a beat. “Not today, baby, because I want him to do all those things to you.”

I balled my hands into fists and glared, first at Daddy, then at Uncle Lucian. And I cursed their grins!

“You will taste the fuckening,” I whispered up at Lucian. “Both of you!”

“What did he say?” Daddy called.

Lucian turned to him. “We’re gonna taste the fuckening!”

“Oh. All right!” Daddy nodded and picked up his coffee mug. “Sounds fun!”

I gnashed my teeth, and if I went any harder, I’d crush them. They knew I hated when they were dismissive about my threatening character! When they called my danger cute. I could be strong and menacing! Yet, they just patted me on the head and mocked me.

“Are we pushing your buttons?” Uncle Lucian asked, way too amused for my liking.

I snarled at him, then stalked away.

Fuck being a good boy on the off chance that Daddy and a bunch of other Tops might play together. I wanted to get even! I wanted them to suffer!

Spotting Macklin and Lane, I scurried over there and took some comfort in that they didn’t look too happy either. It would be much easier to convince them to up the ante of our prank if they had suffering at the forefront of their minds too.

“So, hi. Does life suck for you also?” I asked, a little out of breath.

Macklin blew out a breath. “Uh, my Master’s gonna mark me with a temporary piercing, I’m gonna be tickled for a fucking hour in intervals, and I’m spending the night on a spike mat. You tell me.”

“And Ty’s gonna restrain me in front of a fucking machine,” Lane said. “With a TENS unit.”

I made a yikes face.

“He was fascinated with how electrical play worked, and I stupidly asked if he knew his way around electrics,” he went on. “So he gave me his ‘Boy, I have seven patents’ speech before he realized I was trolling him, and now he’s planning his revenge with Master McKenna.”

I widened my arms. “In other words, we’re all fucked. So how about we make their lives miserable?”

Macklin cocked his Dom brow, which he only did when he found it convenient.

Damn switches.

“The last thing you need is to dig your grave deeper,” he told me. “Don’t let them get to you.”

I scoffed and folded my arms over my chest. “What do you know?”

Lane smirked and looked away.

“I know that it takes approximately zero effort to rile you up,” Macklin stated, so I glared at him. “See? Zero effort. You push yourself forward on anger, and you don’t really know how you got there.”

“Wrong! I totally know,” I replied irritably. “Uncle Lucian and Daddy never get intimidated by me—they just smirk and pat me on the head⁠—”

“Zero. Effort.” Macklin tapped me on the freaking nose. “Do you remember what happened to Corey and Archie at the last event?”

Duh, it was like two weeks ago.

I threw a glance over my shoulder at the pool. It would be uncovered for the season soon enough, but for a brief hour after the Academy event, Corey and Archie had gotten themselves into trouble. And then a few Sadists had thrown their butts into the pool.

It’d been a cold evening, unlike today’s sunny warmth.

“You don’t wanna follow in their footsteps,” Macklin advised. “All it takes is attitude, and the Sadists are on full alert already.”

Maybe I could borrow Archie and Master Greer’s kid. If I was holding a baby, the Sadists wouldn’t do shit!

In fact, Archie was on their porch right now, swaying from side to side with a toddler in his arms.

Okay, that wasn’t a brilliant plan.

I blew out a breath and scrubbed my hands over my face. In my defense, I hadn’t slept well in ages. I wasn’t firing on all cylinders.

Like a flip of a switch, all energy went poof and just disappeared. I felt so weak all of a sudden that I wanted to collapse right where I stood.

Fuck, I didn’t feel good at all. The muscles in my face felt so heavy that I couldn’t fake a simple smile. What was going on? Why did it feel like emotions were threatening to surface? I was happy today. I’d been energetic since we’d parked the car. It’d been so good to see all my friends—and to see Cameron relaxing with Daddy on the porch. And the happiness in Uncle Lucian’s eyes.

“Pet, are you okay?” Macklin asked.

I swallowed and shrugged. “I don’t know.” Movement caught my eye, and I looked over to where Greer descended on Corey. Maybe for waterboarding, maybe for whatever else he’d found in those dumb eggs. Kit actually ran for it, which made me glance over at Colt, who was talking to River.

“…don’t know, I think I could pull it off,” he was saying, while stroking his fingers over his beard. “The mustache is comin’ back, River. I’m tellin’ you.”

God.

“Colt!” Mr. West exclaimed.

“What?” Colt spun around. “Don’t you think I’d look good in just a mustache?”

Mr. West offered an incredulous look in return before he gestured toward the forest.

Colt must’ve noticed Kit. “Oh hell.” So Colt took off too. Bunny ears and all.

See, I should find that hilarious. I should be rooting for Kit and possibly even trying to make a run for it myself. Instead, I stood rooted in place while all the subs and Doms around me got started on their note activities. Reese yelled that the watersports room was open for business, Master Walker let everyone know that he had a collection of paddles and whips waiting on their porch, and Nathan said that we had some kink furniture on its way out. Volunteers were bringing it to the deck.

“All right, let’s get you to your Daddies, sweetie.” Macklin put his arm around me and nudged me toward our cabin. “You’ve clearly reached your limit.”

I scratched my nose. “It’s Daddy and Uncle Lucian, you know.”

“Uncle or not, you’ve turned him into a total Daddy.”

No way. Uncle Lucian wasn’t a Daddy at all.

Except… I mean, he was sweet and patient and nurturing and sometimes funny and playful—and did I mention patient?

“I’m his chipmunk,” I said.

Macklin tilted his head at me.

“It’s because I stuff my face.” I made a bubble face to demonstrate.

It made him chuckle. “Got it.”

As we approached the porch, Uncle Lucian seemed to be getting ready to come our way.

He put his hands on his hips and smiled. “You ready to play, darling? I thought we could start with the tickling to get that out of the way.”

“I propose pain.” Macklin threw his two stupid cents in. “He might need an outlet.”

Well…

Lucian became concerned, and he stepped off the porch. “Is something wrong, Noa?”

I shrugged. “I dunno. I feel a little dead.”

The worry wrinkle in his forehead deepened, and he took over when Macklin let go and stepped back. Uncle Lucian thanked him for bringing me over, and then he ushered me to the sofa. Cam was in the process of putting up the umbrella, and Daddy was fanning out more blankets.

“Come sit with Daddy, freckles.”

“I think he needs a break,” Lucian murmured. “How about I get the you-know-what from the car?”

“Sounds good.” Daddy nodded.

“Do you need help, Master?” Cameron asked. “I hid the thing in the trunk after I gave back Corey’s car key.”

What thing?

I shuffled over to Daddy and sat next to him, and Uncle Lucian decided he would go on his own.

“You can pour us lemonade and bring out some fruit, pet.” Oh, Lucian gave Cameron an order—he liked that!

Cameron smiled. “Of course, Master. Right away.”

Then it was just Daddy and me left on the porch, and he threw a blanket around me and hugged me close. It was actually nice with the umbrella. The spring sun was sort of brutal, even though there was still a nip in the air.

“It’s been a long week,” Daddy said quietly. “You’ve had a lot on your shoulders.”

I shrugged a little again and rested my head on his chest. To be honest, I couldn’t explain it. This happened every now and then, and not only this week. Sometimes, I simply hit a wall, and I told Daddy about that feeling, how it was a flip of a switch…? And that was all I had. One second, I felt great. I loved seeing my friends; I loved being around people. I thrived in high-energy environments. But then I began spinning. I grew frustrated and couldn’t think straight. My brain became a frazzled place of zigzaggy, unfinished thoughts. All jumbled. And then, nothing. I died mentally.

“Do you think something is wrong with me, Daddy?” I asked in a small voice.

“No, baby. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s something wrong with your environment.” He dipped down and hooked a finger under my chin, making me lock eyes. “You get like this when things prove to be too much for you. You’re full steam ahead and don’t see the warning signs telling you to slow down.”

He wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t heard before, but I didn’t know what could change with my “environment.” I did what I could with what I had.

“I can’t fix Lucian overnight,” I mumbled. “I’m gonna have nightmares for a while.”

Until I’d seen more evidence of him getting better.

I believed in him wholeheartedly. Uncle Lucian had the best intentions, and he was learning a painful lesson. He was taking his recovery seriously, and there was literally nothing else he could do. Over time, my fears would die down. I was super sure of that. It was just…too fresh, still. That was all.

“You’re forgetting a bigger headache,” Daddy murmured. “Your mother.”

I flinched and buried my face against his armpit.

Why did he have to go there? I wanted to forget she existed!

“Noa,” he said patiently. “We’ve postponed this long enough. You keep protecting her, and you suffer for it.”

It wasn’t about my protecting her, dammit. It was about preventing the next relapse, plain and simple. I knew she was going to react to my news by going out and buying another bottle of vodka.

I blew out a breath and inched away, and my Little retreated into the darkness. Serious topic made for a serious Noa. I wasn’t a fan of it, but here we were.

When push came to shove, I knew KC was right. I couldn’t shield Mom from reality, and she was always going to find excuses to fall off the wagon. It’d been like this since I was little. And still, I felt guilty for possibly causing the next relapse. She wasn’t strong enough to handle the news of her son being together with her ex-husband. Which was sort of understandable? But it wasn’t as if we’d chosen to fall in love. Hell, KC had fought his feelings for me for years.

I hadn’t. Maybe because I’d felt mistreated by my mother. Maybe because she’d been drunk at my high school graduation, maybe because she’d used me, manipulated me, played on my guilt to be there for her…

Fuck. This had to end.

“I’ll tell her tomorrow,” I muttered.

KC sighed and squeezed me to him, and he pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I don’t want you to. I’d rather you wait at home and let me talk to her. We both know how she gets when she’s upset.”

Yeah, well. She was my mom. My mom, my problem.

“But right now, you need a nap,” he continued.

“What—no!” I exclaimed. “I’m not tired!”

“You’re exhausted,” he corrected with a pointed look. “I’m putting my foot down on this one, freckles. You need to rest your mind for a moment. You’re in no mood to keep playing right now.”

But…!

I pouted, torn between annoyance and defeat. His words rang true in my head, but what did that mean for later? What about the event? What about my candy? What about all the others? And the snacks and the lemonade?

“Don’t argue.” He dipped down and kissed my nose. “Be a good boy, and you’ll have a nice surprise waiting for you when you wake up.”

Oh crap. I loved surprises.