16. You just want a dragon to skin me alive, don’t you?

SIXTEEN

You just want a dragon to skin me alive, don’t you?

Saturday, May 12, 2057

North Lake Education District, Precinct 153

Cauldron City, Nebraska.

The instant I got home from the hospital, I joined my puppy on the couch for a nap. The sleep did me a world of good, but I protested the idea of getting up to go to work. While technically I wasn’t supposed to work on Saturdays, I wasn’t willing to anger Mrs. Dr. Erik, who promised she’d swing by the station to check on me. Miranda did her best, but I buried my face into Pumpkin’s fur and fought to stay in my nest.

“You just want a dragon to skin me alive, don’t you?” She poked my shoulder, and when that didn’t get me up, she grabbed my comforter and yanked.

I grunted at her, and as I refused to dislodge my puppy, I lost my hold on the blanket. She went for my pillow next, tossing it in the direction of my bedroom. “That wasn’t nice.”

“You will survive. I might not if Captain Farthan decides I’m the reason you don’t go to the station. Once Mrs. Dr. Erik finishes him off, she’ll come after me, and we’ll all perish!”

I almost laughed at how quickly the woman had learned to fear a black unicorn on a mission. She’d eventually figure out Captain Farthan postured without acting on most of his creative threats. Sometimes, his posturing led to injuries, although those rarely needed anything more than an ice pack or some bandaids to fix. Jace having his frog punctured had been one such rarity, one the opal dragon still beat himself up over. “He’s more likely to skin me alive. How are my baby birds?”

“The nests are all fine, and Marrinni is standing guard. I took care of cleaning their feeders and making new nectar for them already. We might have the first babies by the end of the day. A few eggs are close to hatching.”

“That’s not encouraging me to leave.”

“We’re going, Valor. Mrs. Dr. Erik will sacrifice us all if she can’t check on you on her schedule!”

As the black unicorn had plenty of reasons to have a temper, I groaned, placed Pumpkin on the floor, and rolled off the couch. “If they want me in a uniform, they’re going to be disappointed.”

“I’m not getting into a uniform today, neither is Paul. We’re staging a rebellion.”

I grinned at the thought of the elephant corrupting the cadet into acts of acceptable mischief. “All right. I’m moving, I’m moving. ”

All things considered, I was grateful Miranda had stuck around. On the way home, an ordeal when trapped with my family in one of the larger vans, my grandparents had decided to take turns with me. Once my mother’s mother had learned the cadet lived with me, she’d started grilling us both on when the wedding date was. Miranda had turned lobster red.

I’d considered requesting backup.

“If we leave, they might not come back,” Miranda whispered.

Right. My family had invaded, forcing me to play host when I’d wanted to go to sleep. Ultimately, I’d gone to the couch and napped through most of their chaos. The hummingbirds had adored the boisterous affair. Pumpkin had lost her mind, as she’d learned my family meant love and treats in high quantity.

I had vague memories of the puppy bouncing all over me while accepting every scrap of attention from my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

If Mrs. Dr. Erik didn’t finish me off, Martino might upon finding out I hadn’t stopped anyone from giving her all the treats. I’d roused myself long enough to make certain Pumpkin had gotten some kibble with her dinner, but she’d devoured an entire steak on her own, and my grandfather on my father’s side had bought her an entire cow leg.

The limb had been taken from the living cow earlier that day, and Pumpkin had enjoyed stripping the remnant meat from the bone.

Thus motivated, I showered, got dressed, and went out to discover my cruiser, which Captain Farthan had driven over, had vanished overnight. A K-9 SUV waited in the spot. I glared at the vehicle. “My car seems to be missing.”

“That’s your car now. Your old cruiser got assigned to someone else. This one is temporarily yours until your new SUV is ready. I’m sure you’ll survive.” Miranda pulled keys out of her pocket and handed them over. “It even has a fancy fob because there’s an alarm, and you have a button you use to start the engine instead of turning the key in the ignition. It’s a present for having demonstrated that you can drive like you mean it. Also, there were video recordings of your ride, and the captain is very pleased with your performance. Did you ride a lot of bicycles as a kid?”

I nodded. “I did.”

“It shows. You had no trouble picking up how to handle a motorcycle.” Miranda went to visit the hummingbirds, cooing to the lot of them before promising we’d return in time to give them dinner. “Come on, Valor. We have a busy day of roasting coffee, checking email, and reassuring everyone you’re not dying on them ahead of us.”

“As I missed that stage of things, how serious on the scale of serious condition did I go, anyway? I haven’t reviewed the paperwork yet. Captain Farthan stole everything.”

I had a vague memory of telling the opal dragon to run the fingerprints, yet another gift from Miranda’s mother.

“They’re in your office. But you were bordering critical for a while. The main problem was the drug interaction, because nobody knew what to use to counter it. They had to run multiple labs on blood samples and test counters until they found one that seemed to work. Then they had several teams ready to react if the counter added to the interaction problem. Fortunately for everyone’s nerves, the counter did work. Then it was just a slow crawl to pull you back to stable and get you sent to the room next to Jace’s. Fortunately, Mrs. Dr. Erik was back on her feet by then, so she was able to oversee your care. We had to loiter in the waiting room and wait. It was not a good time. Paul paced a trench in the floor. At one stage, he trumpeted his distress. While an elephant. He shifted right in the waiting room, and he tossed his head and made a ruckus. They put him in with Jace so they could be noisy together.” Miranda pushed me to the SUV. “You’ll have your new wife in a week. She’s being pampered, painted, and given her police markings.”

“How many wives do I have now?”

“Non-sentient ones? I think you’re up to five now. Sentient ones? That depends if your grandmother has a say in it or not.”

Right. My grandmother was inevitably planning a wedding. “Please tell me someone told my grandmother how fraternization works in our station.”

“Captain Farthan did between sessions of laughing his ass off at you. At that point, you had made it to your couch with Pumpkin, cuddled with her in your blanket, and had gone to sleep. That was within five minutes of arrival. Your family stuck around for a few hours after that to keep an eye on you, but you were fine. Mrs. Dr. Erik visited before heading home for the night. You just wanted your puppy.”

I scooped Pumpkin up and cuddled with her. “I love my puppy.”

“As you should. Just remember that she is going to weigh somewhere between eighty to a hundred and thirty pounds. With your luck, she’s going to be a hundred and sixty pounds of love bug. ”

“I’m not seeing the problem.”

She laughed, went around to the passenger side, and said, “This one will eventually be mine probably. Captain Farthan is debating getting me a new one, but I told him I was fine with this one. It’s basically new.”

“Never try to understand an opal dragon,” I advised her, unlocking the SUV and opening the back door to set Pumpkin on the seat and buckle her in. One day, after she grew and had training, she would be free to roam the back, as that would be her domain. The K-9 SUVs in Cauldron City never carted civilians around, calling in cruisers to handle transporting anyone as needed. I got behind the wheel and pressed the start button. The SUV’s engine rumbled to life. “That way leads to headaches.”

“I’m just going to warn you that being a desk jockey is not going to be as peaceful as you would like.”

“I mean, I have to be questioned about having been kidnapped out of an airport. That is not going to be a fun time. Then there is the issue of the red dragon that delivered the first batch of antidote. And yes, I knew about that before I made it to the hospital in Precinct 169. My kidnapper is something else.”

“A woman kidnapped you, right?”

That was one way to put it. I had no idea how to broach the issue of the kidnapper being Miranda’s mother. “If I can get Captain Farthan’s permission, we’ll go have a look at Mercy’s lab. My kidnapper has a priceless gift for a lot of people.”

Miranda narrowed her eyes. “What gift? What could she possibly have?”

“She got her hands on every last viable organ for donation that Mercy hasn’t already used. They’re all in the lab in stasis waiting for a recipient.”

Miranda sucked in a breath. “You’re joking. You have got to be joking.”

“I’m not, and because of where the organs came from, they’re legal to use for donations in legal venues, such as hospitals. We can get the ultimate revenge just from snatching the organs and giving them to people in need. And because they’re doing illegal activities, we can confiscate all their property. Usually, we put the stuff up on auction to fund services. This time, we’ll save lives—a lot of lives.” I eased the SUV out of my parking spot and caught sight of a rather familiar cruiser pulling up. Shaking my head, I headed towards work while Paul tailed me. “Remind me to sit on a couch with Paul for a while later so he can be close and regain his sense of security.”

“What about your sense of security?”

“Honestly, I think I’m fine,” I admitted. To make Paul happy, I went seven over the speed limit when I could, wrinkling my nose at my blatant act of speeding. “Please verify with Captain Farthan I did more than five over.”

“You’re doing just fine. If you’re not comfortable, slow down, but this speed is a good start to ease you into it. When I heard about how fast you’d made that Harley go, I thought it was surely an imposter pretending to be you. I may have said things unbecoming of an officer, but as it was in Captain Farthan’s office and Paul was saying similar things, he let us off lightly. But then I found out the why of your actions. You’re cautious by nature. I think you just never needed to speed like that before.”

As I couldn’t find fault with her comment, I nodded. I kept an eye on my canine partner in the rearview mirror while taking the shortest route to work. Once in the parking garage, I ran into an interesting problem.

My new baby was parked in my regular spot.

I stole Jace’s spot as it was unlikely he’d be back to the station in the next few days. If he did escape the hospital, I expected he’d be ferried around by the various worrywarts plaguing us. “Remind me to ask the captain where to park until I can get a motorcycle spot for my Harley or take her home.”

Miranda nodded, got out of the SUV, and went to investigate my new bike. I took my time getting Pumpkin out of the vehicle before joining the woman, making sure Pumpkin heeled. I gave the seat a fond pat. “She’s a good girl.”

“I like how she’s covered with pink and purple. Where did you get the decals?”

“She came with them, but the hummingbird and the wolf were added at my request.”

Miranda laughed, caught sight of Paul, and waved him over. “Come look at his new wife!”

I doubted I’d ever live down having multiple wives at the station, and my co-workers would enjoy teasing me over the situation for at least a year. As requested, Paul came over, but he claimed a hug from me first before checking out my new ride. “She’s pretty. Are you going to name her?”

“I’ll think of something appropriate for her. After her act of heroism, she deserves a good name.” I wondered if I could fit her into the elevator and stash her in my office, but on second thought, everyone would want to visit her, thus barring me from even five minutes of peace and quiet. “I need a place to park her, Paul. I stole Jace’s spot. ”

He pointed in the direction of the elevators. “There are some spots there you can put her without any issues.”

I tossed him the keys to the SUV, handed Pumpkin’s leash over to Miranda, hopped onto my new bike, and took care with turning her around, and rode her towards the elevator. Upon arrival, I realized he meant for me to park her along the wall, safely out of the way.

The elevator opened, and Captain Farthan emerged as I was killing the engine and setting up the kickstand. “You haven’t been separated from her for that long, Lovell. You don’t need to ride her around the garage.”

“I didn’t want to take Jace’s spot, and she was in mine. This is now her spot until she gets an actual spot.” I patted her, rather pleased I’d handled the task of moving her without any issues. “I don’t suppose you know where a motorcycle doctor is, do you? She was pushed hard.”

“Leave me your keys, and I’ll make sure she gets maintenance and a check over. I saw you had registration papers with a signature from the previous owner making her yours. Also, the amount of obscuration around the legal owner of the bike is ridiculous. It’s companies layered upon companies layered upon companies with companies overseas with entirely different fictitious names rules as here, making it almost impossible to find the original owner. However, we were able to confirm it was a legal transaction. Ten dollars for a Harley like this is offensive, Detective Lovell.”

“Honestly, she might be the best ten dollars I’ve ever spent.”

“I’m forced to agree with you. I took the liberty of submitting everything so it’s legal. Once the updated title comes back, I’ll get her registered in our systems so you can make use of her for work. Are you going to be able to handle some separation from her?”

I separated the motorcycle key from my house keys and tossed it over. “I’ll probably manage, but only if there’s half-decent coffee in this joint.”

He snorted, eyeballing where Paul walked over with Miranda. “Between those two, my station will be overrun with coffee snobs.”

I blinked. “But I’m the actual coffee snob, sir.”

“Yes, you are, but you’re humble and kind about it. Masoner has decided to express his frustrations with the world through bitterly crying over the lack of your coffee. Miranda just stares at the coffee maker, a hair away from crying, because she wants to ask you to make her some coffee, and only your coffee will do. I keep giving you the emotional partners.”

The pair in question wandered over, and Paul worked with Pumpkin to keep her heeling, although he had to work a little harder with the puppy than I had to. “I probably deserve some glitter and spray cheese,” I admitted. “I had a rather nice conversation with my kidnapper, I’m not even angry I was kidnapped, and I’m going to need rescued from Mrs. Dr. Erik in about ten minutes, when I ask to go on a field trip to where Mercy’s lab is and raid it.” I stared at my captain. “On my motorcycle.”

“Why do you want the motorcycle?”

“It fits in the tunnels where the lab is. Cars do not.”

“I’m going to do you a favor, Lovell. I’m going to call the licensing board, get motorcycle added to your license, and have you take courses after the fact. I’ll allow it, but I’m only doing so because I’ll be going with you along with a full team. I’ll talk to Mrs. Dr. Erik about it.”

I raised my brow at the captain’s blatant disregard for protocol. However, with some help from the commissioner and going up the chain, I could see them pulling it off.

Police training trumped standard licensing testing and procedures, and the academy pushed through license updates on a fairly frequent basis.

Sighing, I suggested, “Tell Mrs. Dr. Erik there is an entire stockpile of organs in stasis ready for transplant.”

Captain Farthan sucked in a breath. “You’re joking.”

“I’m really not. Did you get the fingerprints scanned?”

“We did. I had their records pulled. What are they for?”

“They might be like Roger, held in stasis without actually being dead yet.”

He heaved a pained sigh. “We’ll leave them in stasis until the hospitals fully recover, but we’ll evacuate them to the hospital in 153 to be dealt with. They’ll need a strong medical team from several hospitals to help with them without coding the place again. Also, I’m proud of you, but please don’t code an entire hospital dicking around in serious condition, Lovell. It’s not good for my hair.”

I checked his hair in search of any gray ones and failed to find one. “You haven’t started going gray yet, sir.”

“Yet. I’m sure it’s coming soon. Watch. Tomorrow morning, my first gray hair will make its appearance, and it’ll be all your fault. You were supposed to be the gold standard of sensibility in this station. Now you’re the leader of the dog and pony show.”

I regarded the captain with wide eyes, and it sank in I’d somehow transitioned from sensible to reckless splashed with insane. “Please send me to therapy, sir. This is wrong. Paul, take me home. I’m not feeling well. I’m sickened by the realization I’m no longer a good example for everyone.”

The opal dragon laughed at me, as did Paul and Miranda. “Lovell, you lost your chance to be a good example for everyone around the same time you stole half my shoes. You’re not going home. You’re going to my office, where I’ll question you in comfort. While I’m questioning you, Paul and Miranda are going to find five people to go with you, and you’re going to go raid that lab. I’m going to allow you to go, and I’ll have Mrs. Dr. Erik go along for the ride. I want a doctor checking out the organs, and Dr. Erik will throw a temper tantrum for certain.”

“Is he okay?”

“He’s an unhappy unicorn, and I’m pretty sure he’s setting a bad example for Smithson. Also, Mrs. Dr. Erik will probably bring our unicorn back to us, and if she allows it, we’ll take him to the lab for some exercise.”

“Do you really think she’s going to let either one of us leave the station?”

“Apparently, exercising spunky ponies recovering from his level of illness is a challenge. The spunky ponies go to a corner and stare at the wall, refusing to move. Smithson started that this morning at a mention of an extended treatment session. They had to call in his father. He underwent the procedure, and while he wasn’t happy about it, the hospital is discharging him.”

Jace’s father had seemed sensible compared to the other unicorns, and I wondered how he’d taught Jace to stand in line without a peep of complaint. If I ever had children, I wanted to be like Jace’s parents .

They could, with the clearing of a throat, rein in the chaos that was Jace Smithson at his worst.

Rather than get myself or my co-worker into trouble, I picked up Pumpkin and cuddled with her. “I might need to be protected from Martino, sir. I let my family spoil my puppy.”

“As I was one of the culprits behind the spoiling of your puppy, I’ll take care of Martino,” he promised, pressing the up button for the elevator. It opened, and he waited for everyone to pile in before selecting the third floor. “Miranda, while I’m interrogating Lovell, I want you to fetch him coffee, inform Martino that I’m responsible for any unacceptable weight gain, and start the process of finding volunteers to go with us to Mercy’s lab. I will be in attendance, so do make certain the participants are capable of behaving. Grimstone is not capable of behaving, but as he’ll cry if he can’t accompany the unicorn, he can come.”

Miranda saluted the captain. “Can I take one of the clubs?”

“You can even take two, and you get bonus points if you wield both at once.”

I laughed at the thought of the woman beating someone from Mercy with two billy clubs. “Has she been given her stun gun courses yet?”

The opal dragon chuckled. “You can take one of those, too.”

Miranda’s smile promised trouble for anyone foolish enough to cross her path. “Excellent. Lovell, do you think we’ll meet your kidnapper down there?”

“I hope not,” I confessed. “There are sufficient terrifying women in my life today. I don’t need to add another. I’m at my quota of terrifying women, all of whom could likely reduce me to a puddle.” I had no idea what would happen if Miranda met her mother, but I expected chaos. Worse, I could see Miranda’s mother laying a trap of some sort to test her daughter’s skills.

It would be an interesting day.

Miranda raised a brow while Paul snickered.

Captain Farthan joined the cadet in shooting me a rather skeptical look. “I see this woman has returned you with adjustments. You’re asking for one of those terrifying women to correct you. While I understand your point, and it’s a good one, you should have waited until the safety of my office to actually say it.”

“I’m hoping the presence of a cute puppy and the awareness she gets to come home with me, to enjoy the presence of a cute puppy and possibly baby birds, will convince her I should be left alive.”

“I’ll give it to you. You’ve had a rough week. I am expecting you to return to being the station’s bastion of sensibility and calm regard by the end of the next week.”

“I can probably manage that.”

“Good,” Paul muttered. “I’m not sure I can handle being the calm and sensible one. That is not easy. No elephant has mastered the art of being calm and sensible.”

“Or applies,” Captain Farthan stated, and he patted my partner’s shoulder. “If I wanted you for calm sensibility, it wouldn’t work out. Fortunately for you, I hired you for your brains, ability to withstand more damage than a tank, and your general willingness to throw yourself into harm’s way. However, I do have to ask you to stop influencing your partner. ”

I snickered.

The elevator door opening spared Paul from having to reply. Captain Farthan regarded the rather full cubicle farm, which had been crammed full with our station’s detectives and senior officers. “He’s not dying. He just didn’t want to get up due to the power of a young puppy. I told you worrywarts he’d be late this morning. I witnessed the puppy putting him to bed and keeping him there. I even, when you all started whining, called Mrs. Dr. Erik to confirm he’d be sleepy this morning. You have ten minutes. Release him from your clutches and take him to my office then.”

Crap. Ten minutes would leave my back pounded, my head reeling from the number of hugs exchanged, and overwhelmed from the number of people entering my space. Before I could make a warding gesture against evil or pull out any of my stones to erect a barricade, Grimstone led the charge, slammed into me like he meant it, and thumped my back hard enough I’d feel it tomorrow.

Aware the black dragon had likely had the liver scared out of him between me and Jace, I returned his hug and did my best to assure him I was fine. “You can meet my new wife later. Want to come raid a lab with me after the captain finishes his interrogation?”

“Yes to both. How are you feeling?”

“I tire easily, but whatever hell treatment those unicorns did on me in the hospital worked. I am sorry for worrying you.”

“Not your fault. Drug interactions are a beast, and you got poisoned saving lives. Nobody can get mad at you over that. What’s this about this Angel Underground?”

“Well, she provided the antidotes, and she’s hard at work improving it and making more, so as far as I’m concerned, she’s one of my best friends today.”

I’d learned my lesson the last time I’d been injured: everyone was my best friend, else the trumpeting and whining became severe, I found no peace, and my patience frayed. Last time, the injury had been minor, and I’d only gone to the hospital to appease Captain Farthan.

Hardy linked his arm with mine and dragged me in the direction of the break room. “I don’t know if that man the captain hired is a demon or an angel, but he put this coffee maker in here, and it might collect souls. In exchange, it gives us coffee we don’t gag on when we drink it.”

I chuckled at that, going with the black dragon’s flow.

When Hardy’s nerves were shot, he acted like the young dragon he was, and that involved showing off the nearest, shiny thing.

Tolerating his insanity would help everyone else calm down as well. Sure enough, everyone in the cubicle farm followed us to the break room. I chuckled at the sight of the coffee maker, which was actually two, an espresso machine and a matching drip maker. “You have no idea how to use the espresso machine, do you.”

“I’ve done it a time or two, but everyone thinks I’ll break the machine. We were taught how to use the other part of it, though. You do know how to use the espresso part, right?”

I suspected my fellow worshipper of coffee had tricked the captain into buying a bundle, passing it off as one big machine rather than two. I chuckled, went over, and checked everything over, determining the last soul to use it had correctly cleaned the components. As I would need a cup of proper coffee to get through the day, I went to work showing my co-workers how to make a proper cup of joy.

I also set up a new pot of regular coffee, as I’d need that, too. Then I’d be generous and set them up with a good pot before heading off to my interrogation.

I dug out my keys, shook my head, and went to my office, rummaging around my cabinets until I located the largest of my travel mugs. Hardy shadowed my steps, and he chuckled upon realizing what I was up to. “I’d say that’s a bit overkill, but considering you’re about to be questioned, maybe you should fill two.”

“If I can’t get through this on one, Mrs. Dr. Erik is going to be piecing the opal dragon back together.”

The black dragon snickered. “I’d pay to watch that.”

I bet he would. “In good news for me, the questioning session will be short. You know how shit I am with that tranquilizer.”

“Yeah. When we realized what you’d gotten hit with, the captain lost his shit about it. On a good day, you’re down and out for at least a day, and on a bad one, we worry you won’t get up at all. How bad were you this go around?”

“Considering I wasn’t a guest with my kidnapper for very long, I spent most of it sleeping.”

He sighed. “Good to know. You are feeling okay, right?”

“I’m feeling fine. I slept it off, although I’ll be making efforts to sleep in bed tonight.”

“Well, you can’t teach Pumpkin to go to your bed, else you won’t ever get to use it again. You’ll just have to share the couch with her when you want to nap with your wolf-dog.”

“Ain’t that the truth. Can I get you to help Miranda put together a good team for hitting this lab? I’m expecting trouble, and I’m not sure if it’ll be the good kind or not. Having met my kidnapper, she’s the kind to absolutely run us through an obstacle course, pretend she’s ambushing us, or otherwise test us to the limits because she can. And, knowing what I do of the situation, it wouldn’t surprise me if she targets Miranda.”

“Miranda? But why her?”

“This woman has clearly done her research into local law enforcement, and unlike the rest of us, Miranda has a lot left to prove.”

“Warn the captain. I’ll make sure the best of the best come with us and that we’re ready to dance to our new ally’s tune. It’s the least we can do for the help.”

I could always trust the young black dragon to catch on to what I implied. I gave his back a thumping before heading off to make coffee and appease the rest of our co-workers.