21. Chapter 21

Chapter twenty-one

O nce they were both in the hall, Steven's smile got wider and more sympathetic. "Bad day, huh?"

"You could say that," Garrett replied, rolling his neck in a circle before focusing on the aide. Steven Miyakawa, the first person to welcome him aboard the Neptune and, by all accounts, a very rewarding lay. Garrett remembered flirting with him that first day, making the other man blush, and he thought, fuck it. Jonah got his engine revving and then didn't want him? Garrett would play with somebody else. "Want to go out for a drink?"

"I don't drink," Steven said with a faint smile. "I'm an ascetic."

"Really?" Garrett was instantly intrigued. "Are you a sexual ascetic as well? Or ace?"

"Kind of. I'm not asexual, I like to have sex. I just don't often allow myself to orgasm," the other man explained. He took in Garrett's expression and laughed. "I know, it sounds like a punishment, but self-denial really works for me, and I love bringing other people to orgasm."

"What do you get out of self-denial?"

"A sense of personal power and control," Steven said. "Asceticism as I follow it is about not being ruled by your desires. Sex can be pleasurable for reasons other than coming."

"So you never have orgasms?" Garrett clarified.

"Well … almost never." He shrugged slightly. "Sometimes it happens, but not often."

"Would you mind having one with me?"

Steven laughed. "You think you could give me one?"

"Yes."

He arched one eyebrow. "Really? You're that confident in yourself?"

Garrett grinned. "Obviously."

Steven stared at Garrett for a long moment, then asked, "Do you want to test the theory?"

"Absolutely." Just get me out of my head for a while. "Your place?"

"That's fine with me."

Steven's place ended up being just one level down from Jezria's. It was smaller than hers and very sparsely decorated, but there was a shower and a bed, and at the moment, that was enough for Garrett. He was tired of being alone. He was tired of not being touched; he missed the comforting everyday physical contact that being with his family and friends had provided him, not to mention the feel of a warm, willing body against his own. He had never had sex with an ascetic before but given the amount of time it had been since he'd been laid, Garrett had no doubt that he'd be able to bring Steven off eventually. That was what he wanted—exhaustive, mind-numbing sex without emotional entanglements.

They took a shower together, and Garrett took his time bathing Steven, rubbing his slender body down with a plain white washcloth and not letting the other man distract him with caresses. Garrett was a man on a mission. Steven was skinny, but it looked good on him, and he seemed to enjoy being explored. He had an erection the whole time, but no matter how Garrett stroked and fondled him, he didn't tense up or begin to leak. The gauntlet was thrown down.

Garrett had never minded exerting himself for his partner's sake, and he loved a challenge, so once they were out of the shower, he pressed Steven back until he leaned against the bedroom wall, then sank to his knees in front of him. "I want to blow you," he murmured.

"Whatever you want," Steven replied, threading thin fingers into Garrett's hair. Garrett leaned forward and took the warm, hard velvet into his mouth, moaning at the sensations that flooded through him.

God, he missed this. He missed doing this for someone, missed being the reason for their pleasure. Admittedly, now he was doing it to a man who made a lifestyle out of denying himself pleasure, but it was as much for Garrett's sake as it was for Steven's. He licked every inch of his cock, then suckled insistently on the head while his hands manipulated Steven's sack. Then he drew back and plunged down and stroked around the base for a while, and pulled off and did it all over again. Garrett went down on Steven until his jaw was aching, and his lover finally, finally, was flowing with pre-come.

"Will you come if I fuck you?" he asked, removing his mouth from Steven's cock with a slick pop.

"No," Steven panted.

"Will you come if you fuck me?"

"Maybe … eventually."

"Oh, you tease." Garrett grinned. He stood up off the floor just long enough to tug Steven back onto the bed with him, more of a pallet really, then arranged them to his liking. Garrett laid Steven out flat on his back, stroking his dick firmly with one hand while he prepped himself with his fingers and oil with the other. Steven avidly watched every move he made, so Garrett made it a show, whimpering and groaning as he opened himself up in preparation to take Steven's cock. He wasn't really feeling it, but under the circumstances, pretending was half the fun. No more falling in lust with one-night stands. The old ways were the best ways.

Garrett sinuously straddled his lover's slender hips, holding his cock in place and pressing against it just enough to barely breech himself before pulling off again. He allowed Steven to penetrate him by millimeters, just a little deeper every time, and he tensed and relaxed in a regular rhythm as he took Steven deeper inside. By the time he was finally down all the way, his thighs were burning with exertion, and his cock was aching with need.

"Can you keep going if you come now?" Steven whispered, splaying his long fingers over the tops of Garrett's thighs.

"Yes …"

"Then come." He wrapped those long fingers over Garrett's cock and stroked firmly, and it was all he needed to fall over the edge. His orgasm swelled and burst, and he came with a drawn-out groan of pleasure. It felt good, very good. It was the pure physical release he was looking for, not less than he had hoped, not disappointing in any way. It wasn't Jonah, but apparently he didn't get to fucking have fucking Jonah, so …

Garrett caught his breath, then began to move again on Steven, longer strokes this time, rising and falling and fucking himself slowly and steadily, then fast and hard. He came again before he finally drew an orgasm out of his lover, and it lasted so long and was so satisfying to watch that Garrett didn't even feel his own discomfort anymore. After a few quiet minutes, they cleaned up, then went to sleep side by side. They didn't touch each other during the night, though, and waking in the morning wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't emotional either.

"Tea?" Steven offered, pulling a few cups from a cabinet.

"There's no coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee, but I could order you some from the kitchen."

"Tea is fine," Garrett said. They drank a cup of pale green tea together, more grassy than caffeine-imbued, then Garrett leaned in and kissed Steven's cheek. It was the first kiss that had passed between them all night. "Thank you. That was fun."

"It was. I really didn't think you'd be able to make me come."

"Are you kidding? Darling, all you demanded was patience and stamina. We didn't even get into pain play, or domination and submission, or nerve fetishes—"

"No, we didn't," Steven said, his cheeks faintly pink. "And we won't be."

"I know." They both knew they wouldn't be doing this again. It had been a good night, but there hadn't been any real connection between them. "Give Jezria hell today."

"She has you for that." Steven walked Garrett over to the door, clasped his arm, and said, "Enjoy your day off."

"How do you know my schedule better than I do?" Garrett huffed. "Yeah, I will." I'll have lots of fun sitting in my apartment alone doing, huh, let me think, nothing! Sounds great.

Garrett left Steven's apartment and drifted slowly back to his own, physically wrung out and satiated but not really there mentally. He should have been there. He should have been basking in the afterglow and the feeling of a job well done, but instead, he felt untethered, like he'd been reaching for something, and just when he thought he'd grabbed it, it turned out to be further away than ever.

He reached his floor and his quarters and absently let himself in. There was a message light blinking next to the door, indicating that someone had stopped by and found him gone. He ignored it and headed back into his bedroom for a long shower. He washed himself from head to foot with rich, expensive body wash and rubbed honey-scented cleanser into his hair. Luxuries … they made life worth living. Didn't they?

He dried off, shrugged on an azure silk robe, ambled back into his kitchen, and ordered a cup of coffee worthy of Wyl. It was dark enough to make him wince, and so he immediately adulterated it with milk and sugar until it was palatable. He drank it and ate a small breakfast, checked to make sure no one had tried to call him while he'd been out—and no one had—then pressed the button to receive the message that someone, probably a crew member of some sort, had left outside his door.

"Hey, Garrett." It was Jonah, and he sounded a little sheepish. All the energy that had abandoned Garrett this morning shot like lightning back into his limbs. "Cody and I came by this mornin' to ask if you wanted to have breakfast, but you weren't in." There was absolutely no inflection in his voice as he said this part. "We're going to a movie in the big theater later on today, though, and Cody wants you to know you're invited to join us."

Garrett heard a high voice say something kind of muffled, then Jonah picked up again. "It's Space Rangers versus the Meteor of Death , which apparently is not to be missed. The show starts at eleven. It'd be nice to see you there. I'm sorry I left things kind of … well … look, I'm just sorry. I didn't mean to be an ass." There was more muffled speech, and Garrett heard Jonah say, "No, you can't say that word, it's a grown-up word. Look," his voice was louder again, "we've gotta go. Hope to see you later." The message ended.

Garrett sat completely still at the counter, letting the offer seep in. Jonah Helms, his one-night stand, the father of a bouncing little natural and a man who seemed antipathetic toward relationships in general and relationships with someone like Garrett in particular, was inviting him to a movie. With his son. All together. Undoubtedly, there would be zero chance for sex, but Garrett considered the offer as the olive branch that Jonah was probably intending it to be and gave in. He'd wanted something to do with his day, and now he had something. Space Rangers. Oh boy.

It was already ten thirty, and he still had to get dressed and style his hair and get to the entertainment complex … Garrett grinned and jumped off the stool. If he hurried, he could make it.