Chapter 27

Twenty-Seven

P retty

I stretched out, waking up in an empty bed. My body ached from yesterday's ice capades,

but if I was being honest myself, the wild sex we had last night didn't help either. Paddy wasn't usually a late sleeper, but even this was quite early for him. I got up, perusing the cabin to find him at his desk in the living room, scribbling away on paper. I put my arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek as he returned the gesture.

"You're up early. I felt so lonely without you."

"I apologize, I just had a lot on my mind. Figured it couldn't hurt to stretch my legs a bit. Come here," he said, pulling me onto his lap as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"What are you writing?" I eyed curiously, unable to make out his illegible writings.

"Well, you know how we talked about having another dark moment together? Usually it helps when I write all the things I want to try it down. I guess I feel it makes things run smoother. You know, instead of just going in with no plan." I placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You hungry? I could heat you something up." He kissed my hands and then blessed me with three rapid fire kisses in random places.

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"Why don't you share with me some of the stuff on that list too? Since I'mma be the one you do it to." I stood, his palm meeting my bottom in a slap.

"Sexy lady," he flirted, with a bite to his lip, and for the first time in a long time, I felt comfortable at my own skin. I fried up some eggs and sausage, buttering up some toast with a side of jam and butter the way I knew he liked it. When I returned plate in hand, he pulled me on his lap again, making me feel all dainty and feminine.

"What's on your little list?" He tackled the meat first, alternating between the eggs and the toast next.

"Naturally, it helps to talk about it first. I don't want to do something I think you won't like, but inherently there will be things we'll bump heads on since a lot of this stuff ain't common." He offered me a bite of his toast but instead I took his fork and helped myself to a bit of the eggs.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense." He chuckled, finishing off the rest of his toast in a single bite.

"Well for starters, one thing I was thinking about was tying you up, but more like torture style. That way I could just have my way with you. I'd have your arms suspended above your head, so you wouldn't be able to touch me. Then I'd spend some time using you, maybe even tickle you. The sick part of my brain gets off on seeing you suffer." I shrugged.

"That doesn't sound that bad. How would it be different than other times?" He scratched his brow, his contrasting eyes looking surprisingly innocent.

"Well, for one, I've never had you bound. Nothing ever seems that bad until you lose control of your actions. Especially when you can't fight or push me away." Running my fingers through his hair, I rested my chin on his head.

"I guess I gotta just keep an open mind. Put a yes next to that."

"Grand!" he said, scribbling something down. "On to the next thing. I have this fantasy where I work you up, but instead of letting you come, I cease all efforts to put you in a world of frustration. Up until this point, it's all about making you feel good. But the idea of denying you, I don't know, it just does something to me." My brows furrowed in confusion.

"Um, that sounds pretty sadistic." He pursed his lips.

"What happened to having an open mind?" he said with a tilt to his head. "The goal would be to get you to the point of desperation. Needing to be used. Begging for it." That did sound thrilling, although I did doubt whether or not I could handle it. But in Paddy's hands, I felt safe and I trusted him. He hadn't let me down so far.

"Fine! When you put it that way…"

"Grand! Next up is a bit of cock worship. But not just sucking it to make me come like you usually do. But like throat fucking your mouth. Making you gag. Seeing you helpless and drooling. Working hard to get those tears to drop. Fuck, I'm even getting hard just thinking about it."

It felt weird to even be talking about this sort of thing. Most men never communicated about anything, let alone sex. Things that felt scary seemed less scary when you talked about it first. I never realized how refreshing it was to be with a man who was so communicative. It made it often harder to remember that he was younger than me.

"Work me up. Worship your cock. Anything else on that paper?"

"No, but off and on, I'd just use you. Fuck you hard and rough. None of that gentle love making we've been waking up to where I kiss you nice and hold you afterwards. I'd fuck you like I hate you. But I promise once I'm through with you, I'd pamper you like a princess." I laughed.

"You always pamper me like a princess," I admitted, his hands caressing the tops of my thighs.

"So, is that a yes to everything?"

"Mmmhmm." I nodded yes.

"Grand! Because I was thinking tonight would be more than a perfect time.

***

He stripped me of all my clothes, exposed and bare for him as I felt powerless looking upon his fully clothed frame. There was an imposed power imbalance when you were forced to be on full display while another looked on and watched you.

You had to lock all your insecurities in a vault, because the more you thought about it, the more anxious it made you. Although the way Paddy looked at me, it was hard to remember that I had this big ole belly or breasts that didn't sit up as high as they used to. All he saw was the way he thought I should always feel about myself, and that was that I was a goddess.

"Before we start, remind me that you remember your safe word." As I felt his hands reach for my elevated wrists, making sure the restraints weren't too tight.

"Chamomile," I repeated, to which he leaned in and rewarded me with a kiss.

"That's my sweet girl," he said, as he blindfolded me, robbing me of my senses. Next it went quiet, leaving me standing there for minutes, confused on what he had planned to do. Relief set in when I felt him come up behind me, the sound of his belt unbuckling my only clue.

"First thing Daddy's gonna do is use you for a bit. I ain't even gonna bother getting you wet first, ‘cause this fuck's for me," he warned, as I heard him spit that I assumed went to his hand, as next thing I knew, he plunged into me rough, clasping my hips hard against him.

Maybe I wasn't wet to begin with, but with what he provided, it still felt insanely good. And after a few good strokes, I was certain you couldn't tell what was him or me. I met his strokes eagerly, fueled by my own lust and wishing I could touch him.

"Oh, fuck, this feels so good. Feel me pounding this sweet little pussy, sweetheart? Feels good to be broken in, don't it?" Paddy taunted, making sure I knew I had no other use but to make him feel good in this moment.

"Uh-huh," I grit my teeth through each painstakingly deep thrust. I wanted to come so bad, but I wasn't allowed to. This was for him.

"I get deep in my sweet girl, don't I? Might as well since I've got no other use for her other than to be Daddy's fuck toy." He groaned, the sounds of his pressing against me and his belt jingling, contrasted by my moans.

The rough use of my body alongside his deep, fast pounding drove me all the way insane. He fisted my hair from behind, his other hand gripped firm along my hip as his breathing became rougher, his pounding faster. Too fast for me to get any real pleasure from it.

"Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come." His hand had shifted from my hair to my shoulder, and it wasn't long before he howled, pouring his everything into me, coating my core with his hot seed. He slapped my ass, pumping a few more strokes into me before he exited, leaving me a dripping mess, the sound of his desperate pants still fresh in my mind.

"Oh, fuck that was so good." As he rested his head on my shoulder from behind, fondling my breasts and tummy, as his body came down from giving me a rough fuck.

"Next, you're gonna work on getting Daddy back up again." Relief sat in when he unblindfolded me, lowering my suspended arms as he instructed me on my knees to wrap his belt around my neck. From there, he led me to a chair, but instead of keeping my hands free, he tied them behind me with a rope.

"I'd do such a better job with use of my hands, Daddy."

"Oh, I'm certain you would. But right now, you're just a toy. And toys don't get the same privileges as people. Do you understand why I bound you?" I nodded, knowing I was in for a wild time.

"Mmm…yes, Daddy."

" Perfect . Now shut your mouth and get to work," he demanded, as he shoved my mouth onto his dick, forcefully guiding me up and down. He moaned, his fingers fisting my thick curly hair as I took him roughly. His erection rose in record time, a true testament to his strength and prowess. Tears welled up in my eyes, as he taunted me with a laugh, yanking me off his length with one sharp pull to my hair.

"All that dirty mouth is good for is sucking that cock and singing for me. Look at those gorgeous tears. Beautiful tears cried just from me," he said, as he wiped the streams away with his thumbs. This close to my face, I prayed desperately that he'd kiss me, but instead, he ordered me back up, directing me back to the hook on the ceiling.

He used me. Then he used me again, my frustration driving me to a point of begging.

"Please, Daddy. I just want to come. I need some kind of release. I just need to feel. I just want to feel you." He withdrew from my body, taking my chin into his hands as he taunted me.

" Mmm …such a pathetic little thing. Do you think you've earned the right to come?"

"Daddy, but I'm doing so good."

"Yeah, but you could always do better." Being all levels of desperate, I pleaded, finally reaching that level of madness.

"Please, please, please , Daddy, I need you so bad." Fueling yet another laugh, my misery being the source of his entertainment.

"You're so precious when you beg. I'm gonna give you a chance to earn what you're asking for, but it's gonna take a few paddles across the arse."

" Anything!" I cried. Within seconds he was grabbing for his instrument, the first smack across my ass causing a heavy sting.

"Tell Daddy you're a useless whore."

"I'm a useless whore." Whack .

"Tell Daddy your only use is to serve him." Whack! It was harder this time, hardly giving me a chance to work up to it.

"My only use is to serve you." Whack! That one I had felt in my core, the pain it caused made me cry out.

"Tell me you're only mine." Tears ran down my face as I choked to catch my breath.

"Daddy, I'm only yours." Whack, whack, whack!

"Say it like you mean it." All of a sudden, it had felt like he had lost control. The slaps feeling vengeful, fueled with only rage and hate.

" Chamomile ," I cried, unable to take any more of his beatings. "Un-fucking tie me!" I demanded, as he did what I asked, his eyes full of regret when he reached out to me and I flinched from his touch.

"Pretty, I apologize. Things got carried away, and I wasn't being careful. You know…" he hesitated. "You know that I would never intentionally hurt you." I reached for my robe, putting it on with a sense of urgency.

"Paddy, what the hell was that?" He shook his head, slapping his palm a few times across his forehead.

"I think it was just a bad choice of words. Words that dredged up feelings from our last serious conversation. About there not being a future for us. The thought of it… the thought of it just infuriates me." This again.

"Paddy, you knew my situation when we entered this arrangement. Nothing's really changed since then." His brows lowered, anger transforming his pretty face into something terrifying.

"What do you mean nothing's changed. You weaved yourself into my heart, Pretty. That's what's changed . I bared my whole soul to you. Shared with you all my flaws and fears, that's what's changed. Every morning, noon and night you're all I ever think about. I'm not even safe from you in my dreams. You know I ain't afraid of dying. I've seen too much in my life to be scared of everyday things. But when someone took a shot at you from that stage, it frightened me. If I had been one second too late, I would have lost you. That's what scares me. After me admitting all that, how can you say that nothing has changed?"

Paddy knew my how complicated my life was. I didn't understand why we couldn't just let it be. With Paddy, it was easy to just let the whole world in front of me slip away, but thinking of future just made things complicated. Splitting my family up? Putting Elijah through a divorce? Things were great how they were. Why couldn't we just exist like this?

"Paddy, I don't know what you want from me. I have a son."

" Oh , how long are you going to hide behind that excuse? I love that kid like he were my own. It's like you just want things to be easy. You don't want to fight for something you feel like you might actually deserve."

"You knew this was always meant to be temporary," I argued, which only seemed to further infuriate him.

"Yeah well, my feelings ain't temporary . How much I love you, ain't temporary . It's me who wakes up gleeful and excited just for a chance to wake up next to you. Me who pours my all into making love to you. Because your pleasure and curiosity are important to me. Pretty, I would gladly sell my soul for you. But because this was only supposed to be temporary , I suppose I'm the only one that feels this way."

Loud banging at the front door made Paddy jumpy, as I directed my gaze to the stairs, rushing to put some clothes on, and he went to answer the door. Fully dressed, I met him at the door, the Ranger who he was speaking to explaining something about a call coming in for us at the station. The only person that knew we were here was Vernon. So, if he was calling, it was likely an emergency.

"If you want to head on over the station, it's just a few minutes' drive. You two could get things cleared up and get back to your cozy stay."