Chapter 22

Twenty-Two

P addy

I'll admit, it was hard prying myself out of the blissful night that Pretty and I shared, but we couldn't be in paradise forever. It was time to pick up the kid from órfhlaith's. Like his mum, I missed him when he was away. The kid was really growing on me. Imagine my surprise when we made it back to my sister's and the whole lot was there like they were having some secret meeting or something.

Turns out it was because Cilly had smelled a bit of trouble, but because our spare enforcer didn't move quite like me, he didn't want to worry Queenie. So, he just made up some story about órfhlaith wanting to help with the kids. It was a convenient time though. I needed to get things off my chest, and Pretty let herself get swept away after learning from Queenie that my sister made dresses.

"Good to see you, lad. Have a beer," Tadhg suggested, as Cillian laid a few down on the coffee table, before sandwiching himself between me and Bellamy. As always, we went into our usual shite talking. We tried not to talk business at órfhlaith's, but it did come up occasionally. Only this time I was grateful to just stick to the usual.

"Everything good? You all right? You look like you got a bug or something?" Bellamy said with a slap to my chest. I suppose it was now or never.

"So, I've got something to tell you all. But before I do, I need you all to hear me with some understanding. Especially you, Cilly. This might put you in your feelings." After a bunch of teasing and probing, I finished off my pint, relaxing in my seat as I broke the news.

"You know I don't usually kiss and tell, but for the past few weeks, I've been sleeping with my boss' wife." Tadhg, someone I never took for anything shocking him, had this wild look in his eyes, while the others almost choked on their drinks.

"You're sleeping with a married woman"? Cillian questioned, something I half expected from him. He was the only married one out of us, and surprisingly took pride in the vows he took. He and Queenie were in love; never once did he ever hint at ever wanting to step out.

"It's complicated," I admitted, but I was grateful when Bellamy stepped in giving his experience and expertise on the matter.

"Been with a few married ones myself. You gotta be careful with them though. The beautiful ones, their husbands are usually mad ."

" That I don't have to worry about. The man's not mad, just a poof. Before I learned that, I even fucked Pretty in front of him. The things going through my head fucking another man's wife while he watched was unreal. I felt powerful, like I was achieving something he was unfit to do," I admitted.

Even with his focus being more on me, I was Pretty's focus, and she never looked so beautiful submitting to me while she had free will of her own.

"Not gonna lie, that shite sounds crazy. A man would lose an eye even looking at my wife. I wouldn't have the strength to let another man touch her. But if you say the man's gay, I mean, I guess it means their marriage ain't really happy. Lasses, they need things like attention and compliments. I can't imagine he's doing much of that if he knows, and is content with you shagging her," Cillian said, which, I had to say surprised me. I thought that he would be the hardest on me, but it's why I didn't leave out any details. It's easy to judge just thinking we were out just being irresponsible.

"Congratulations. You've reached a new level of degeneracy. No one's topping this story for a while," Tadhg added. Another surprise, since he was never one for joking.

"You know I'm going to ask right?" Bell slapped me another time to the chest, as he adjusted on the love seat to face me.

"What's it like being with a gorgeous thing like that? Bet her figure is mad," he ended with a laugh and a last sip to his beer.

"You know, I have to say, it's like everything you said it would be. But truthfully, you didn't prepare me for the impact when a lass her size knows how to ride you. It's a good kind of surprise, but I wasn't expecting it," I joked.

"But no really, she's older, confident. Ain't no guessing with her because she knows what she wants. All this time, I've been chasing younger tail, when I should have had my eyes on the older ones. I guess I'm bringing it up because I fancy her. Like properly. And I guess I'm curious to know how do you know when it's love?" I'd been asking myself that for hours now, perhaps even sitting on it for days. The way Pretty made me feel inside, almost felt too good to be true.

I thought I'd known what it felt like before her, but in truth, it had all just felt like practice, because a past love never motivated me to want to be a better partner. Catering to all her wants and needs instead of focusing on my own. It honored me to show up for her, and honestly, I loved how she had both faith and trust in me. She was a big girl, she didn't need a man making all her decisions for her, yet she took pride in letting me guide her.

Bellamy teased me with a shake to the shoulders, making me regret even being vulnerable because he was childish when he had something he could tease you for. Once he got done with his bantering, the three of us looked to Cillian. Because if anyone knew what it was like to truly love someone, it was the only one of us who was happily married. Heavy on the happily.

"What you all staring at me for?"

"I shouldn't have to say it," Tadhg started. "But you're the only one of us who's held a long-term relationship. Being older doesn't mean we automatically have the expertise on that. And plus, you're good at being married. You keep spitting out little ones. You got to be doing something right," Tadhg finished.

"Yeah, more like a jack of all trades, and a master of none. I can't really tell you how to tell if it's love. I can only really tell you what it's like for me," he said, and when he didn't follow up, I gave him shove.

" Well , don't keep us in suspense." He leaned forward in his chair, resting his forearms on the top of his thighs as he clasped his fingers.

"I don't know, I guess it starts with the small things. Before, I wouldn't even notice if a woman went from a brunette to a blonde, because there was no real infatuation with the others. But I look at Queenie, and I'll notice even a stray eyelash on her cheek. You spend your whole life thinking about ways to make her smile and laugh, even if you find her laugh kind of annoying. I hate when she warms her cold feet on me, but I like that we have to be closer for her to do so. The things that would normally bother you, you accept because it's her. You tell yourself that she's perfect, but in reality, she's flawed, and in your eyes, that's your version of perfect. You find yourself randomly staring. Wondering how you got so lucky. Or at least that's how it is for me. Do you really think you love her?" At first, I struggled with the thought, taking a moment to let his words sink in.

"Yeah…yeah. I think I might be. It's this damn curse. I gave into the darkness and let it take over. And then there's the case of her son. He's a good kid. I'm afraid I've already grown attached to him," I admitted, imagining how easy it would be to step in and be his stepfather. Hell, Pa raised me and I wasn't his. Maybe that's why I felt so close to Elijah.

"Not gonna lie, it would make me uncomfortable to see some other men raising my kids, but I trust that your situation is different. I just hope you and her husband are on the same page."

Truthfully, I didn't have a clue how Vernon would feel about that. On one hand, he was barely around, on the other, I knew I had to tread lightly because he was his birth father. My Pa never gave mine a choice.

The sound of soft knocking filled the garage, and not long after, Pretty and Elijah came peeking in with questions on when we were heading out.

"Lads, it's been grand talking to you, but looks like I'm being summoned. See you all on Sunday at Cilly's." Cillian looked toward Pretty, offering a small wave.

"Hope we see you and Elijah there too. And feel free to bring some of that brown stew chicken. My wife really liked that, and she's a picky eater this far along."