Chapter 17

Seventeen

P retty

What the hell was wrong with me? Did I want to ruin my life? How could I have been so careless? I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I sure as hell wasn't thinking with a sane, sound mind.

Had my focus to be seen as desirable become so consuming that I had the decision making of a child? This was it. This was going to be the reason my family fell apart. Not to mention I'd made Paddy do something that made him question his integrity. I was going to lose Vernon, Paddy and possibly even my son.

When a figure walked through the door, I half expected it to be Vernon, so when Paddy was the man stalking toward me, I had so many words to say. "Oh, my God. You were right. I should have listened to you?—"

Only Paddy must not have been of sound mind himself, because before I could finish, his lips were crushing into mine. He must have completely lost it. "Paddy, what the hell are you doing? Get off of me. My husband could walk in at any moment."

Paddy's brow furrowed, like he had the right to be confused. "Were you not literally begging me a moment ago to own up to what we did? Now you don't want me to touch you?"

"Paddy, what I want is to know what the hell is going on? Where's Vernon? What did you two talk about?—"

"Calm down, Pretty." As he smoothed his palms down my shoulders, interrupting me. "No need to work yourself up over nothing."

"My husband walking in on us is not nothing ," I doubled down. Paddy sternly looked me in the eyes until I'd calm down.

"Your husband and I came to an understanding," he said, with longing in his eyes.

"What kind of understanding?" See this was why I hated not being in a conversation. I didn't even get a chance to tell my side.

"The understanding's that I get to continue fucking his wife. But the man's got terms."

"What would possibly get him to agree to that?" I asked, dumbfounded and confused. That didn't even sound like Vernon.

"He wants us to fuck, but he wants to be able watch us fuck." Paddy said it, like it was the most normal thing to say.

"Wait, what? Absolutely not," I argued, the mere suggestion of it making me create a distance between us. Nothing about this made sense.

"Pretty, his terms were clear. He gets to watch, or that understanding goes out the window," Paddy reiterated.

"I just don't believe Vernon said that. That doesn't sound like him." This is the man who hadn't touched me lovingly in years . Wouldn't entertain my needs for lovemaking, kissing—hell, even a supportive hug every now and then. Was Paddy really saying that same man was now someone requesting to watch me fuck another man right in front of him? He had to be out of his mind.

"Is it pride, Pretty? Is it fear?" Paddy pulled me in, looking deep into my eyes, leaning just close enough to where our lips should have touched, but didn't. Why did I let this man have so much control over me?

"Don't you want to be my sweet girl again? Hmm…?" He seductively hummed

"Yes," my voice was so weak I'm surprised it was audible. "It's just such a big ask."

"I know it is, but I wouldn't be asking it of you if I could get enough of you. I want to take you places. Places you ain't never been before. Safe places. Dark places. Places where you feel like only you exist. And now that we have permission to, you're saying you don't want to go to those places?" he said with a kiss to my neck, making it that much harder to concentrate.

"It's not that. I'm just nervous about Elijah."

"Elijah's young. And I promise not to be fresh around him. Or Vernon for that matter unless it's respectful. Because I'm gonna be hella disrespect when I have you. Wouldn't you give anything for me to be able to have you, anytime I want, without guilt?

"Paddy, I don't know."

"I just want to guide you." Kiss. "Touch you." Kiss. "Feel you." Kiss. "Ain't it been your desire to be the center of someone's attention?"

"Yes, Paddy. It's just…weird. I don't know. Why would my he want to watch us be intimate?"

"Honestly, some things you can't always explain with words. I reckon you should feel lucky to have a husband strong enough to put his ego aside to have your needs met. I ain't that strong a man when I'm with you. I'm not good at sharing."

Paddy kissed me deeper, this time enough for me to feel lost in the moment, making me both strong and weak at the same time. "I want you to be my sweet girl tonight. Don't you want to be my sweet girl?" He rasped, right before pulling away to look me in the eye.

"Yes." I managed to say before he brought his lips back to mine.

"Then say yes." As he somehow managed to say everything else between kisses. "Let me show Vernon how this beautiful body needs to be praised."

I met my hands at the back of his neck, pulling him in deeper for the kiss. "Let me show him how this body deserves to be worshiped. How this body deserves to be pleased." The kissing was getting so intense, I had to back against the wall just to hold myself up.

"Stop, stop. Not here," I said, stopping us from going any further.

"Truth is, it might be here. Vernon's planning on taking Elijah to his sister's tonight. So, there won't be no chance of him walking in on us," he admitted.

"Tonight, though?"

"Now or never. Better to get it over with. If you're nervous, I would ensure that you don't even feel like he's in the room."

Against my better judgement, I agreed. "Okay."

Paddy pulled me in for one more kiss, before holding my body close to his. "Good. Daddy likes when his sweet girl trusts in him to know what's best. I want you to do something for Daddy, can you do that?"

"Ummhmm…" I murmured back.

"Wear something nice for me tonight. Something that you know I'll like. Something that won't hide that beautiful figure from me. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes."

"Good." As he kissed me on the forehead and ended his last words until we met back up tonight with, "I'll see my sweet girl tonight."