Chapter 10

Ten

P addy

Cracking metal. Dust and smoke. Blinded by debris. The smell of melted flesh combined with the agonizing pain that went with it. " Leave me. I'm not going to make it ."

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Shooting up, the knocking remained consistent outside my dream. Even when I tried, random noises still unregulated me. Could be a slamming door, a loud popping sound. Thunder and fireworks were the worst. I was getting better, but I still experienced shell shock from time to time.

Looking down at my leg, in a state of panic, I rushed to roll the sleeve over my deformity. It helped not to look at it. When I didn't have to look at it, I could just pretend I was normal. "Just a minute," I yelled back, praying whoever was on the other side had patience not to use a spare key.

My family claimed I shouldn't be embarrassed. Everyone thought I should feel lucky that I even had legs at all. But most people couldn't look at my leg without being disturbed by it. So, to give myself peace, I typically wore the sleeve, even to sleep.

If I ever or whenever I got around to being with a woman, I just didn't take my clothes off. It was my thing. Most lasses didn't question it, so long as I was fucking their brains out.

Slipping into a clean pair of slacks, it was like you couldn't even tell. I liked to keep it that way.

Assuming it could only be one of three people, I wasn't surprised to find Ms. Washington on the other end. Ms. Washington was definitely one of those high maintenance broads. Red carpet ready at six in the morning.

The black jumpsuit fighting for attention against her curves highlighted just enough to know what you were working with, but leave enough to the imagination. Not going to lie, the thought of seeing Ms. Washington five days or more a week was really having me question whether I had a type.

"Yes, Mrs. Washington?"

Ms. Washington blew out a flustered breath, unable to look me in the eye. It really took her pointing in my direction to understand what unnerved her so much. "You forgot something."

In my rush to ensure I'd put on pants, I hadn't even worried about putting on a shirt. Despite my top half not being a source of insecurity for me, it still wasn't polite to be so exposed to a married woman.

Excusing myself, I slipped into an undershirt for the time being to see what it was she needed.

"What is that? Your…your art?" As she pointed to the tattoo that stretched across my forearm, shoulder, chest and lower neck.

My siblings and I all had matching ones. Tadhg's was a bear. Bellamy's a stag. Cillian's tattoo was a wolf. Mine?

"It's a raven. In Celtic lore, ravens represent wisdom, protection and death, something we share in common," I explained.

"Does it hurt?"

"I've been through worse. Did you need something?" Mrs. Washington rolled on the balls of her feet, wearing a controlled smirk that breathed life into every nerve in my body. This woman was gorgeous.

"I know technically you're not Elijah's nanny. But I know if we stopped playing our roles, Vernon would be bound to suspect something."

The truth was bound to come out at some point, I'm just glad I didn't have to pretend with Ms. Washington anymore, as it certainly reduced some of the hostile tension between us knowing I was here for her safety more than anything.

"Most of all, Elijah doesn't know. He seems to respond well to you, so I was wondering if just for today, you might not mind getting him ready for school?"

"That's actually no problem at all. Said I'd share your burden with you. And with the kid, the feelings mutual," I also added.

"I wasn't sure if I wanted to burden you, but I don't think my husband was thinking when he hired you, considering the morning is when I'm most productive. I wouldn't ask, but I was firm on not wanting my husband to know that I know." Which was reasonable given how many secrets her husband likely kept from her.

"Understandable. But I wonder, if you have any time to give. There's a place I wanted to take you.

"Me?" she questioned, coquettishly.

"Yeah, you." Unable to fight the smile creeping from making her smile.

"Can I know where?"

"Can't tell you. But I know a lass like you could benefit from being with me—I mean, going to the place I planned to take you," I said, surprised at how poorly I'd minced my words. Ms. Washington was the first person who genuinely made me really nervous. Women never made me nervous.

"Typically, I give myself between eleven and two to break or run errands. Helps me approach my afternoon block with more enthusiasm. But I fear three hours wouldn't be enough." She spoke as if her answer would disappoint me.

"Three hours would be more than enough," I assured.

"Then it's a date," she ended with a lift of an eyebrow, all while giving me the pleasure of watching those dangerous curves prance up the stairs.

A woman like that, I'd constantly be keeping pregnant. Morning, noon and night, I'd be all over her. Ain't no way we'd only have one kid. Vernon was clearly an eejit, because they definitely didn't make a lot of them like Pretty.

***

Once I got settled and dressed, I used my key to head upstairs to wake Elijah. Strangely, I was starting to see myself in the kid, as knocking on his door, he was already dressed. "Hey, kid, you hungry?"

"Yeah," he said, excited.

"You didn't give me much to do. You're so prompt and organized. Saves me time to make breakfast." As I took his hand and led him to the kitchen table.

" You're going to cook the food?" Elijah asked surprised, like he'd never seen a man cook before.

"I'm not too proud to admit I can take care of myself. You see, I served this thing called a tour, and not the kind your mom does. I served this country in the army, and you learn a lot in that environment." I continued on, shuffling through the fridge for bacon, eggs and bread.

"Like what?"

"Well, I learned how to cook for starters. Wash clothes. Probably some other stuff I'm not supposed to talk about," saying that last part in a hushed tone. "But most of all, I learned that not every domestic thing is women's work. Just basic life skills. But don't tell your mother I said that?—"

"Don't tell your mother you said, what ?" Ms. Washington's voice caught me off guard but hadn't startled me.

"Just what it smells like to have a man's skin melt off." I winked in Elijah's direction.

"Yeah, you're right. That is too graphic to be explaining to a child." She doubled down. "You're cooking him breakfast?" she asked, a confused smile lighting up Ms. Washington's face.

"Kids gotta eat. Just don't be surprised if he prefers my cooking to yours," I bragged, matching her smile with an up curl at the corner of my mouth, as she joined me at the stove.

Boiling the water she intended to make tea with, I tried my hardest not to notice her hips sway in that flight suit. Lord, have mercy for all the degenerate thoughts I was having of this woman in front of her son. You wouldn't be able to keep me in an office if I had a wife with a body like hers. Child bearing hips a man's thrusts could spend all day getting lost in.

Bellamy had truly been onto something.

"You're so much easier to talk to with a shirt on," she murmured through gritted teeth, meant only for me to hear.

Unable to hide my snarling smile, I licked the top row of my teeth, flattered that she was still thinking about me. "Sorry to distract you," I dragged out. "Can I offer you a plate?"

"I probably shouldn't. Bacon goes straight to my thighs," she said, turning it down. She was saying that like it was a bad thing. "But I was wondering if you could just give me the address of the place that we planned to meet. I don't think I'll run too late, but I'm a girl of routine, so the chances of me getting there exactly at eleven are low."

"I wouldn't expect anything less from a starlet like yourself." One thing I knew about entertainers is that they were rarely on time.

Slipping myself a few extra slices of bacon, I set up Elijah's plate, insisting he take his time. "Just try to be there by eleven thirty. I need you for at least an hour," I said, as I licked the savory bacon grease that stained my fingers.

"Will an hour be enough?" She quickly questioned.

"The things I could do in an hour," I winked, as it wasn't lost on me that it garnered a light blush that flushed her cheeks.

"Soon as you're done kiddo, we're out. Don't forget anything so we don't have to come back and disturb your mum," I said, noticing the kid must have been hungry, because one minute he was breathing, and the next? The plate was empty. Bending down low enough for him to jump on my back, our destination was the garage, then the open road.

It was hard not to notice the semi-permanent smile on Elijah's face. He was sure as hell happy about something. In effort to avoid a quiet car ride, I decided to pick his brain. "Been smiling ever since you got in here. Must got a little girlfriend waiting for you at school."

Elijah just shook his head, but it did very little to calm his grin. "No girlfriend? What then? Can't be excited for an exam or anything."

When he shook his head again, I told him it would be better if he just told me than for me to have to keep guessing and getting it wrong.

"This is the first morning Daddy didn't come home the night before and Mommy wasn't crying. I try to be good. Be ready so she doesn't have to waste her work time getting me ready, but sometimes it seems like just about anything makes her cry," he admitted, not understanding the weight of what he was saying.

"That right?" I asked sympathetically. Kids, they noticed these kinds of things, whether adults were keen enough to pick up on that. To a sensitive kid like Elijah, I'm sure being in the middle of his parents' problems was like his own personal hell.

"I know it's hard to understand, but fathers often have to make sacrifices to make sure you have the things you need," I said, trying to give Vernon some credit. Ain't like the man wasn't working hard.

"I know. It's just sometimes…" he hesitated, like he couldn't believe what he was about to admit out loud. "It seems like it would be easier for them to not be together. They're always fighting. So, it's nice to see Mommy can be happy."

He was just a kid, so I couldn't tell him what I really felt. If I had to guess, I'd say Vernon was having an affair. Vernon was one of those nice guy types, so I can see why that'd convince a woman he'd be good husband material at first. But my guess was, since the marriage was so convenient for him, the chances of him leaving were pretty small.

Pretty seemed more like status symbol to him than a wife, because it was clear she wasn't getting the best of him. And a man was a man, ain't no way he got someone that looks like Pretty and ain't rushing home every night. It's obvious he's getting his dick wet someplace else.

As a man, I understood it. But the idea of juggling one difficult woman, let alone two, sounded like a genuine nightmare.

"I know it hurts. To see your mother like that. Hell, I'm sure it even feels like your Pa don't care about you. I know that's how I used to feel before my Pa died," I admitted.

"Really?" Elijah asked, like he couldn't believe someone could relate to him.

"Yeah, only my Pa was a mean drunk. As far as dads go, be grateful you didn't get the worst of them. Remember when I told you I had to learn how to fight? He was the reason why."

"Your dad used to hit you?" he asked in a tone that didn't sound like he actually wanted to know.

"My Pa did a lot of things. If tough love actually exists, he was the bringer of it. But it don't really feel like love once you get older. I'm sure that don't make you feel any better about your own pops, but take it from someone who knows. Sometimes your Pa ain't gonna be the hero in your life. So, if you want one, you gotta look to other male influences in your life for guidance. You do that and you'll be alright."

For me, that had been my brothers. If I hadn't gotten drafted, I would've surely bit the bullet by now. The only thing keeping me from doing so was I still had older brothers to look up to. Hell, now that Cilly was the expert on fatherhood and marriage, even he was worth looking up to for how well he managed it.

"That's the thing," Elijah started and I knew he was going to say something that chipped away at his confidence. "I don't have cousins, or uncles. Or even kids older than me to look up to. I basically have no one," he admitted defeated.

"That ain't true. You got me. Your mum's probably not gonna let me take you to the ring anytime soon. But after all your schoolwork's done, if you were up to it, we could throw the ball around a little bit. But only if you're into that kind of thing."

"I've never done it, so I don't know if I'm into that kind of thing."

"Every kid should know if they like to throw a ball around, so consider it your lucky day."