2. Oz

2

Oz

I don’t go back inside after putting away the ladder. Instead, I stall, tidying up the already clean garage. There’s a ding on the ladder and it makes me wonder who got it out. Harrison wasn’t wrong when he said Meggie was nervous. I sensed it, too, even before I got home. She wasn’t doing a great job of masking her emotions.

She’s keeping something from us, but this close to Christmas, that’s expected. We’re keeping a few things from her, too. Or we will be once we finally decide what to get her.

The rattle of the dryer bangs against the wall, and Meggie moans loud enough for me to hear. I listen for Harrison’s low grunts. I picture his pants around his ankles as he takes our girl. His ass flexing as he thrusts.

Fuck.

Meggie’s best friend Emily—the only person I’ve told about my sexual curiosity—says I daydream about Harrison more often than the others because he’s safe. It’s a fantasy I can play in my head like pretend. Nothing will ever happen between us. Harrison is strictly into Meggie. It’s scarier to fantasize about Ellis or Dante or McQuinn or Nils because they might actually be into it if I suggested something.

Or they could laugh in my face and reject me.

I sigh, pulling out my tools and going to the bike at the back of the garage. After the Olympics, we all felt a little aimless. It’s hard to figure out what you want to do after you’ve accomplished the one thing you’ve dreamed about since you were a kid. Harrison was the only one who had it easy since he always wanted to get into politics, make a difference.

I’m still not really sure what I want to do, but for now, I’ve been pretty happy fixing up bikes. I’ve been making decent money at it too. Not nest-egg-money, but enough to feel like I’m contributing to the pack.

There’s a bang against the wall, and a spike of heat hits me through the bond. It’s hard to tune out Meggie and Harrison—as hard as my dick. But I manage to focus on the engine in front of me until a car pulls into the driveway. McQuinn parks in front of the garage and climbs out of his sedan.

“Hey,” he says. “Did Ellis tell you his idea for Meggie’s—”

“Keep your voice down,” I hiss and toss a greasy rag at him, which he bats away. I jerk my head to the laundry room door just as Meggie lets out a loud shriek. McQuinn’s eyes flare with heat.

“I don’t think they’ll hear us,” he says.

I know he means if we talk about Meggie’s gift, but my belly still heats at the innuendo in his words.

The air shifts, sizzling between us. McQuinn smirks. The chubby I’m sporting presses against the zipper of my jeans.

“Sounds like they’re having fun.” McQuinn steps closer. His citrus scent seeps into my space. I fucking hate how good it smells.

I swallow, but my mouth is dry. The engine suddenly seems really fascinating, and I can’t meet McQuinn’s gaze. He’s standing so close I can feel the heat coming off his body, but he doesn’t touch me. The pointed way he avoids touching me makes the tension worse.

I don’t think I’m reading him wrong, but I don’t want to rock the boat. I mean, I’d love to rock him. Back and forth down my throat. Squeeze his hard thighs as I swallow him deep.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what a man’s cum tastes like. Would I like going down on a guy?

Last night, after I came all over Meggie’s tits, I dragged my finger through it, coating her nipples in me, then licked it off. It wasn’t bad. But I think I’d like it a lot more if it was coming out of someone I cared about, someone I made feel that good.

But what if McQuinn and I do something and it upsets the dynamics with the rest of the pack? What if Nils gets jealous? Or Ellis and Dante get uncomfortable because they know I’m into them and they’re not into me?

I’m usually so confident. This unease and anxiety is so fucking annoying!

I can hear Emily’s voice in my head: “You can’t control what other people do or want. All you can do is say what you want, put yourself out there, then accept what happens.”

She’s right. But I kinda hate that she’s right. I’m not used to putting myself out there. I mean, I got around before packing up with Meggie and the guys, but I never had to work at it. There’s no risk when women always approach you. I’m hot, athletic, and I’ve got that bad boy look women seem to go for. Meggie was the first I really had to work for. With the guys, it’s doubly scary. What would it mean for our pack if I put myself out there and they reject me?

Emily would probably scold me for being such a chickenshit, even though she understands it better than most. The only reason I told her was because she had her own sexual awakening recently, so she can relate.

McQuinn’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You okay?”

I jump back, twisting away from him. “Yeah, man. Fine. I’m fine. ”

“You know you can tell us things, right?” His voice lowers. Running a hand through his red hair, he offers me a half shrug. “I know how hard it can be to open up, but… it’s worth it.”

With that, he leaves me to contemplate what I want and how the hell I can ask for it.