14. The Worst Way to Claim a Mate

14

The Worst Way to Claim a Mate

brAND

M y blood turned to ice as Flor's eyes closed. She'd never intended to take a mate. I knew this. I'd hoped to have years to show her that I was honorable, that she could learn to trust me and—if she chose them as well—all of her other mates. Even if the idea of her having more mates rankled.

But with one clumsy move, I'd thrown my patient plan away. Why had she dropped her sword? I hadn't been using my full speed or strength; I'd made certain of that. I hadn't even been looking for an opening.

From the moment Sergeant had announced first blood and the fight began, I'd been trying to find the right moment to give Flor her chance to win. Not to truly wound me, but to nick me. I could have hidden a small cut, bandaged it later. I was skilled enough to allow her blade past my defenses. How had that stroke landed?

It didn't matter now. That cut had ended any hope I had of her believing I was good enough for her. I'd deceived her, and she knew it. I'd been hiding who I really was to her, who she was to me, and she'd just discovered it in the most painful way.

Her eyes still closed, she whispered, "What does that mean?"

By my side, Sergeant shifted restlessly and cleared his throat. "Ah, you know... it means to secure the bond in the, ah, traditional way." When Flor frowned, he went on. "With, ah, intercourse."

I cringed at how awkward he was. I'd wanted to bond with her someday, but I'd never imagined a worse scenario than this one. It was practically a forced bond, one of the worst crimes a shifter could commit. But there was no other way, outside of her choosing death.

Her death would mean my own. And maybe the end of my brothers as well. Ah, shit. No matter how this ended, Glen would never forgive me.

My thoughts darted to Luke, who was still at Southern, growing weaker by the day. What would this do to the strained bond between them? She was theirs, too. But what if my claiming her severed those incomplete bonds?

"Do you want this, Brand?" Flor rasped.

"No," I replied truthfully, then realized what I'd said when she flinched. I rushed to explain. "I mean, yes, of course, I want you, Flor. I've wanted you since the first moment I smelled you."

"I smelled... like shit." Her brow furrowed even farther, and a strange, wheezing sound emerged. Was she laughing? "I was covered in... literal shit."

"I liked it," I repeated, doubling down. "No. I loved it."

"All of you... perverts," she whispered, then opened her eyes. "Any other way?"

I fought to keep my expression calm as I took in the blood rhythmically seeping out of the sides of the mass of silver duct tape. "No, the wound is too deep."

The wound I'd made. Fur prickled along the backs of my hands as I fought to control my beast, who insisted on being let out to howl our guilt and shame. Our anger. Our love.

I forced him back down. She wasn't able to shift into her wolf form; I could barely sense her wolf within her, as if that side of her had taken the lion's share of the injury. My wolf couldn't help her. Only I could. As if he understood, my wild nature subsided slightly.

I shook my head. "Glen isn't here. Finn... No. This is it. If I mate with you, you'll heal. I can call your shift. No one else can, except your Alpha, and Bradley's still unconscious."

Her next words were as quiet as a breath, but they still carried in the ominous silence of the training ground. "The guys said you're the best hunter of them all. Well, you hunted me... caught me." Her next words to herself were even softer. "Stupid Flor. You were bein' hunted in this pack, just like at Southern, and didn't even notice."

Sergeant gasped, horrified. I flinched; I'd forgotten he was there. "Hunt? What sort of hunt is she talking about?" he demanded.

I swallowed hard, shame making it hard to speak. "Her old pack. It was how they tortured her. And no, Flor, I swear to you on my pack's honor, and on the memory of my mother. I wasn't hunting you. I would never take anything you're not willing to give. It's still your choice—I told you I'd make sure that was never taken away."

"Mating or death? Some choice." Her sigh was small, but it felt like a knife in my gut to hear it. "I'm... supposed to have sex for the first time while I'm bleeding to death?"

I didn't have it in me to blush, but I wanted to. "I don't like it any more than you do. But there's no other way to save you now." I steeled myself to offer what I knew I had to. "If you don't want me afterward, I'll let you go. We can be mates in name only."

Her pale lips twisted. "If you really are my true mate, won't that be impossible? Won't you go crazy? Won't we both?"

She knew so little of our ways. That was my fault, too. I should have made certain I'd told her everything, so she could protect herself. So she knew what lay ahead. "That's only for incomplete mate bonds. Those can be very dangerous. If we mate, we'll be fine."

That wasn't quite true. A strained new mate bond was dangerous. Mates were meant to stay close to each other for the first few months at the very least, to cement the bond. At Mountain, new couples were given a private cabin and two months' worth of food, and left alone to do just that. But she was in too much pain to notice the sour note of deception in my words.

I was dimly aware of Sergeant moving away, of the training ground emptying out completely, until our hearts were the only two beating in this place.

Though her heartbeat was sluggish, and thready. We were alone.

Her breathing stuttered. "Flor, please," I begged now, my wolf panting and pacing inside our shared soul. He knew this wasn't something he could help with, or he'd have burst forth and claimed her by now. "I swear I won't take advantage. If you don't want me, I won't force you to stay with me. Please let me heal you?"