Chapter Sixteen | Chad

I waited patiently for Skylar to join our video call. I wasn't sure if Owen would be on it again. If we'd have a chance to replay that seductively hot encounter.

My husband was sitting on his bed when he signed on.

His was the only screen.

"How's my burly bear?"

"Missing you but keeping busy. Work has picked up a little. We're slowly moving into spring. People are preparing their homes for sale. Asking for market assessments from me."

"Glad to hear it. You've been at a loose end." Skylar lifted his phone. "I notice you didn't mark off that you'd meditated this morning. What happened?"

"I slept in. Barely had time to work out and get showered for work."

"Late night?"

"I couldn't sleep. Ended up death scrolling on social media until three in the morning."

"Did you try that melatonin?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't help. Thinking of upping my game to Valerian Root."

I'd never been a good sleeper. The shower Skylar suggested I have before bed each night helped some. Sometimes. Other times, my mind wouldn't stop racing. Without my husband's arms around me, it was hard to calm myself. I'd reset my sleep once he was home with me.

"Be careful. That root can make you a bit groggy the next day. "

"I'll ease into it." I adjusted the laptop on my thighs. "Owen invited me over for dinner tomorrow night. After that video call, I think we might be ready to take things further."

"Sex?" Sklar's eyelashes shielded his eyes a few times. "How do you feel about that?"

"It doesn't feel the same as when we bring a third guy in to play with."

"You like Owen."

"He's growing on me. We have a lot of fun together working on his car."

"Are you concerned about what it's going to feel like to be with Owen on your own?"

"A little. He is your boyfriend."

"I trust you to enjoy him if that's what he wants as well."

"And if I develop feelings for him?"

"You know I want that for the two of you."

"Why? We haven't discussed the why."

Skylar stared at me for a few seconds. "I'd like the three of us to be together someday."

Ah.

I'd suspected as much. To confirm, though. "Like a poly situation?"

"Yes. Is that something you'd be interested in?"

"I'm not sure." My stomach clenched tight then felt as if it tumbled back against my spine. I was already sharing Skylar. But full-time. Would I be able to do that? "It's too soon for me to give you an answer on that. I like Owen. He feels like he would fit but I want to get to know him better."

Then it occurred to me I might be late to the game.

"Have you spoken to him about this yet?"

"Of course not. You and I are married. We've been together for over five years. We make this kind of decision together. We don't invite anyone in unless we agree it's what we both want. "

"Even though you love him?"

"Owen could remain simply as a boyfriend … for both of us. But that's not what I want."

I grumbled as reality hit me. "I think Owen would feel unfulfilled if we left him in the boyfriend zone. He probably wouldn't stick around for either of us."

"That's the impression you get from him?"

"He wants stability and a family, Skylar. Surely, you must know that."

"We've spoken about it. He's moved his needle a little but not much."

"Then we need to decide. Can we give him family life? Or are we stringing him along?"

Skylar's shoulders slumped forward.

"I love him, Chad. I don't want to lose him." Skylar sucked in a shuddering breath as tears rimmed his eyes. It wasn't often I saw him get emotional. He really and truly loved that man.

His teary response made my love for him soar.

Skylar was the most special human being I'd ever encountered.

"You've never wanted kids," I said. "Neither have I."

"Things change. I want what would make Owen happy."

I smiled at him. "You would make a good dad."

Skylar rolled his eyes as he wiped his cheeks. "We're getting ahead of ourselves. That's the kind of discussion the three of us would have if we decided to be in a relationship together."

I wasn't ready to join Skylar in that dream of folding Owen into our union.

Yet.

"When I go to see him tomorrow night," I said, "I'm going into it as though it's just him and me. That a poly option is not on the table. I want to develop a relationship with him separate from any of that. I'd need to know Owen and I were solid before even entertaining more."

"That's fair and very insightful of you."

My heart fluttered a little. I loved it when Skylar praised and encouraged me. His words gave me a boost as I went about my day knowing he was happy with the way I was living my life. He nourished a sense of pride in myself I'd never had before I met him.

"Movie?" he suggested.

"I found an artsy one with subtitles you might like. Features a gay man."

"Let's cue it up. What's it called?"

For the next hour and a half, I cuddled into the blankets on our bed and did my best to keep up with the flowery dialogue. Knowing Skylar would be enjoying it made me feel content.

Against all odds, I fell asleep before the movie was over.

Owen smacked my hand as I dragged my finger through the dish of barbeque sauce beside the smoking grill. I popped the collected goodness into my mouth, daring him to chastise me further.

I was having fun playing with him as he cooked.

He was preparing things I liked to sneak into my diet while Skylar was away at work. Barbequed beef ribs, mashed potatoes with butter and bacon, and cauliflower with cheese sauce.

Owen appeared to be a good cook, and I was all over the experience of watching him buzz around the kitchen and barbeque. I'd offered to help but he'd shooed me away.

As he tested the temperature of the meat on the grill, I scooted around behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He laughed softly and leaned back against me as I kissed his neck .

Being tactile with one another had come about naturally from the moment I stepped into his house. He'd held my face and kissed me in the front entry. We hadn't stopped touching since.

Our relationship had shifted. It wasn't all hands off and then hands furiously on. We were more subtle with one another. Caresses and gentle touches. We were building something.

Owen had a heat lamp set up on his patio, so we sat outside as we ate our dinner. The nights were getting warmer as March approached. I earned another smack on my hand when I tried to steal a rib off Owen's plate. They were so good that I wanted to eat them all.

With sticky hands and chins, we brought the dirty dishes inside and continued our conversation about work as we loaded the dishwasher and washed and dried the numerous pots.

After cleaning the sink, Owen took a soapy finger and rubbed the barbeque sauce off my face. His gaze softened and he leaned in and kissed me. My mind nearly clouded over with bliss.

"Let's take this upstairs," Owen whispered against my lips.

I pulled on the front band of his pants. "I have no objections."

Owen stepped back, took my hand, and led me up the stairs. His bedroom was chic and masculine with many shades of grey, including the crisp bedding. I busied my fingers undoing the buttons of his uptight, white-collared shirt. Once I had them undone, I swept the material off his shoulders and traced his collarbones with my fingers before brushing my palms over his pecs.

His chest had an abundance of auburn hair, so unlike Skylar whose skin was smooth. I ran my fingers through it. Owen kissed me again, so gentle and easy, freed himself from his sleeves, discarded his shirt, and lifted my t-shirt off over my head. He trailed his slender fingers down my biceps, then along my forearms to my hands. He linked his fingers with mine and stepped closer.

I sighed and eased my head back as Owen nibbled and sucked the side of my neck. He trailed his tongue up my skin to the area behind my ear. Sucked my earlobe into his mouth.

His lazy hand unlatched my belt, opened my jeans, and slipped behind my underwear.

Fuck.

His warm palm cupped my hard cock, then encircled it and tugged slowly. I widened my stance out of pure need. He reached through and caressed my balls.

"Pants off," he whispered, his breath hot on my skin.

I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my jeans. Owen released me so I was able to ease them off. As I stepped out of them and my underwear, Owen removed his dress pants and boxers. His cock was long and had the most incredible bend in it. It would feel amazing in my mouth.

Owen had the same idea. He guided me to the bed, pressing me to sit on the edge. Once I was there, he traced my lips with his cockhead, painting them with his precum.

I extended my tongue and swirled it around the thick ridge, then sucked his cap in past my lips. I played with his slit as he raked his fingers into my short hair.

I gripped his shaft and descended on his dick. It hit one side of my throat each time I endeavoured to swallow him. I was breathless and covered in spittle when I relented.

He pushed me onto my back and sank onto his knees at my feet. I jammed my hands into my hair, overwhelmed with need when he sucked my cock into his mouth. His mouth was skilled. I tapped his hand to stop him when his technique eventually threatened to make me blow .

Owen stood and climbed on top of me, straddling my waist, and looking down at me.

"How are we going to do this?" he asked. "Just rub off on one another?"

I stroked his thighs with both hands. "I'd like to fuck you."

"You do that?"

"I'm versatile." I abandoned his thighs and pursued a new reaction. I thumbed his nipples, then pinched and twisted them. Owen groaned and threw his head back.

"Okay," he murmured atop his panting breath.

I gave him a sensory reprieve. "Where are your condoms?"

"Right." Owen retreated from me and dug around in his bedside table. As he was doing that, I moved up the bed until my head was on a pillow. I liked to top from the bottom.

On the rare occasions when Skylar needed me to fuck him, he always rode me to maintain control. I preferred it. I liked that he governed his own orgasm.

Owen set an unwrapped condom on my stomach then brushed his hand across my abs to my chest, to my jawline. He tucked in close to me and kissed me then pressed his forehead to mine.

"This has meaning for me," he said.

I dragged my fingers through his hair while gazing into his eyes. "Me too."

He nodded, sat up, rolled the condom onto my aching cock, and lubed it up. In one swift movement, he straddled me and pressed my cockhead to his hole.

He swore as he descended enough to stretch himself, then remained still, his eyes shut. He muttered something under his breath as he sank and his body consumed my entire length.

I placed my hands on his chest. "You look so gorgeous up there." His smile was a little cockeyed as if he didn't quite believe me. I stroked his arms. "You really are. "

My cock slipped free slightly as he leaned down and whispered his lips across mine, then enveloped them as if he was making me a promise that this was more than sex.

My heart thundered, completely swept away by his sincerity as he righted himself and lifted away from my body, my dick nearly coming free before he dropped back on it.

I clutched his hips, encouraging his rise and fall. Each clench of his thighs. Every sigh and moan. Every flutter of his lashes and lick of his lips. His ride was filled with emotion. He'd spoken the truth. Our being intimate held meaning for him. It did for me too.

Moving my hands to his waist, I brushed my thumbs across his abs, making his body tremble. He placed his hands on my chest and stilled his movement. I clenched my ass and thrust up into him. I reset the position of my heels and glided rhythmically into Owen.

My emotions hitched a gasp from my throat as I watched his changing expression. The seeking look in his eyes felt like a hit-and-run; it was so dismantling. I hadn't felt this connected with anyone since the first night I had sex with Skylar. That had been a night I would never forget.

I ran my fingers across Owen's lips.

I wouldn't be forgetting this one either.

He took my fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, gazing down at me.

Owen felt it too.

I didn't even care if I finished. Cumming had lost all importance. Being in this moment with Owen, our bodies moving together was its own kind of completion.

My body took over as Owen righted himself and started riding me faster, one hand on his cock, pumping, the other on my chest. I met every one of his downstrokes with a thrust .

Owen grunted and his channel clamped down on my cock before he spilled one pulse after another, coating my chest. He looked wrung out as I thrust up into him, filling the condom.

He rolled off me and landed on his back on the bed, the only sound was the two of us breathing heavily. I turned on my side to face him. A tear streaked down his cheek.

I was immediately on my elbow looking down at him.

"You're regretting it."

Please no.

Owen shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Then why?" I wiped a tear from his skin.

He blinked as he looked at me. "That was more special than I thought it would be."

I lowered my body and snuggled against him. "It was. I felt it too." I dragged my fingers up and down his arm. "This is going somewhere, isn't it? What we have."

Owen sniffed. "I think so."

I kissed his shoulder. I didn't need to ask. After I disposed of the condom, we tangled up together on the bed and fell asleep. My feelings for him were clear as the sun came up.

Reluctantly, I had to go home to change, but when I arrived at work, I found Owen waiting for me in my office. He'd drawn the blinds. Like two magnets drawn to one another after being yanked apart, we wandered into each other's arms and clung together in a desperate hug.

Owen's hands were clenching my shirt so hard, he'd formed fists. My tight embrace sought to merge our very souls. He snuffled against the side of my neck where his face was buried.

"What's happening to us?" he whispered.

I clutched the back of his head. "I'm not sure … but it feels right."

He exhaled and stepped back from me. "Skylar flies in tonight. "

Cupping his face, I stroked his cheek. "We can see each other again on Monday night."

"Sunday." Owen caressed his face against my palm. "I want to see you on Sunday night."

I licked my lips. "Sunday, Monday … and Tuesday night?"

Owen released a breath I hadn't realized he'd been holding. He moved in and kissed me, hands in my hair, consuming me, confirming he was all in on the idea. I knew what his passion meant.

We'd be spending three nights a week together.

My phone ringing broke the moment and pulled us away from one another's lips. We continued to share heated breaths as I peeked at the screen as the obnoxious noise continued.

It was my brother Harold.

"I need to take this."

Owen mouthed bye to me and then reluctantly left my office.

I pulled my mind back online.

"Hey," I said.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Since you're calling and asking that … I'm guessing seeing you."

"Agnes is here."

"Where?"

"At my house. She flew in last night."

My sister plans a trip into town, and no one tells me.

"And you're waiting until now to tell me this."

"I didn't want to give you the option of backing out."

I grunted. Harold knew me too well. "What time and where?"

"She has things she wants to talk about. I don't think a public place would be suitable."

Great .

"What kind of things?"

"She thinks it's her fault that Caden is transgender."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. It's going to be one of those talks?"

"She's not listening to me. She wants her big brother's opinion."

"Fine. I can be at your place at seven. Skylar is busy tonight." He'd be making love to the man I'd shared a deeply unexpected experience with. The man who made my breath catch in my chest.

Skylar would be gazing into those same expressive brown eyes tonight.

The feel of a fist clenched in my gut.

Jealousy?

I wasn't sure. Skylar was in love with Owen. And Owen with him. I had no right to be jealous. Owen's wasn’t mine … and neither was Skylar. I dismissed it as emotional confusion.

For the rest of the day, I sought out glimpses of Owen. Whenever our gazes met, we would smile at one another in that knowing way that two lovers shared their connection.

I left the office later than I intended.

Harold's husband was nowhere to be found when I entered their house. He was probably hiding in the family room watching television. I found Harold and Agnes in the kitchen.

"Big brother," Agnes exclaimed and ran into my arms. I hesitated at first, but then childhood memories took over. This was my little sister. I hugged her tight and lifted her off her feet.

"Oh, my goodness, William." She patted my arms once I set her down. "You've been working out. The last time I saw you, you were a scrawny kid."

"I was twenty-two." I crossed my arms. "That was seventeen years ago. And you know I don't go by William anymore. That was my old life. I've changed since then. "

Agnes clasped her hands together. "I know … Chad, and I'm sorry. It's been far too long."

"Not my choice."

"Let's not start there," Harold interrupted. "Can we take this into the living room?"

"I’ll grab a beer and meet you out there," I replied.

I took my time. I wasn't looking forward to the discussion my sister appeared to have on her agenda. I hated being treated like I was some kind of expert when it came to being LGBTQ+.

After a cleansing breath, I joined them and took a seat across from Agnes.

"So, I'm assuming you married," I started.

"A few years after you left."

My shoulders tensed, but I held my tongue. It was pointless to bring up the reasons why I left . Agnes had done what she had been taught was right. Not her fault, she wasn't a free thinker.

"And you had children."

She leaned forward in her seat. "Five. But of course, Harold told you about Caden."

"Only that you have questions."

Agnes knitted her hands until her knuckles turned white. "Was it my fault?"

"That Caden is trans … no. He was born that way."

"I let him play with his brothers a lot. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. And I never bought him dolls. Or had him help me in the kitchen. I feel like it's my fault."

"First off, thank you for using his proper pronouns. I'm sure that was hard for you." I had to think about what to say to put her mind at ease. "Engaging in traditional gender roles would not have made a difference. Caden is who he was meant to be. He was lucky enough to grow up in a family where he could act like a boy. Even luckier that you have accepted him. "

Agnes looked down at her hands. "I wasn't at first … on his side. I spent a lot of time praying and then I went to see the pastor, seeking counsel. He told me I wasn't the only parent in the congregation who had a transgender child. Offered me a spot in the church's support group."

"Did that help?"

"It gave me some answers but no one there was a gay."

I tried not to cringe at the word usage. "Just because we're gay, it doesn't mean we know much about transgender people. I do know a few in Calgary but I haven't kept in contact with them."

"I tried to tell Agnes that we don't know much," Harold said. "Her support group needs to invite someone from the transgender community to come speak to them."

"But you're sure it's nothing I did or didn't do," Agnes said.

"Absolutely sure," I responded.

Agnes exhaled a long breath. "Good. I didn't like the idea that I made Caden's life more difficult. He's such a sweet child." She looked at me. "If he likes boys does that make him gay?"

Harold and I both said maybe at the same time.

He caught my eye, and we shared a moment, remembering when we were teenagers and trying to figure out if we were gay. Sexuality was complex. There were no given answers.

"Harold says you're married," Agnes said, "to a man."

"Yes, three blissful years. His name is Skylar."

My sister kept her questions respectful. I could tell she was trying hard to treat me as though I was in a straight relationship. Maybe trying a little too hard. The question of children came up .

I told her we weren't interested in having kids which wasn't entirely true anymore. That life-changing decision depended on how far our relationships went with Owen.

Picturing his face, I knew I had my answer.

I wanted it to go far.

I wanted the three of us together.

I wouldn't have known Skylar was home if he hadn't blocked the early morning light coming through the curtains and kissed my cheek. I hadn't slept well again last night.

I had been trying to convince myself it wasn't because Skylar and Owen were together, and I wasn't benefiting from being held in either of their arms.

But it was.

It absolutely was.

"You look cozy," Skylar said as he stroked my hair.

"I'm desperately trying to get more than three hours of sleep."

"Sorry I woke you."

I wrapped my hand around the back of his thigh, keeping him close. "No, I'm glad to see you. Did you have a nice time with Owen?" Did I really want to know? I wasn't even sure.

Skylar nudged me to move over then climbed onto the bed beside me.

I buried my face and body in his embrace.

"I did," he said. "We spent a lot of time in the kitchen. He's learning to cook vegan meals."

"He's a good cook."

"He's picking it up quickly."

I played with a button on his shirt. "Did he tell you what transpired between us?"

"The intense connection? Yes. But why didn't you tell me? "

"I wasn't sure it was real. I wanted him to be the one to let you know."

"It's confusing him."

"He's not the only one. We went from zero to I think I'm falling in love with you in the span of a few nights hanging out together."

"Is that how you feel? That you're falling in love with him?"

I burrowed closer. "How could I not? He's perfect."

Skylar kissed my forehead. "Try not to overthink it. Let your heart guide you."

My meditation time was going to come in handy for that. I would need to settle my mind so my relationship with Owen unfolded with the serenity and commitment it deserved.

"He told you we've agreed to spend three nights together?" I asked.

"Owen said it feels like a permanent arrangement."

"I'd like it to be."

"Will that happen here or at Owen's house?"

I kissed his neck. "I'd like him to get used to being in our bed."

"Mm." He hugged me tighter. "That sounds like a perfect idea."

My consciousness dipped, the world disappearing for a second. I snapped back long enough to tell Skylar I loved him. He said it back and then I succumbed to my exhaustion.