1. one

Chapter one

“Troublemaker” - Weezer

“ D oes anyone want to share their thoughts about Holden Caulfield’s red hunting hat and what it might represent?” I could almost feel my eyes glazing over as Mrs. Harper droned on about the symbolism in Catcher in the Rye , which I barely managed to finish reading.

Dissecting frogs? I could do that all day.

Dissecting fictional metaphors? No thanks.

Just as I began to feel myself nodding off, I noticed a few people beside me turn their heads toward the narrow window facing the hallway. Curious, I looked up to spot my oldest friend, Xander Pierce, with his face pressed against the glass. His eyes lit up when he realized he’d caught my attention, and he mouthed something even more difficult to decipher than Holden Caulfield’s whiny ramblings.

I responded with a confused shrug, and he waved for me to come out to the hall. It seemed urgent.

Clearing my throat, I faced Mrs. Harper and warily raised my hand. Astonished, she gasped and said, “Owen! I don’t get to hear from you very often. What are your thoughts?”

Shit. “Actually, um… can I go to the nurse?” Someone behind me giggled.

“Is something wrong?”

“Migraine,” I answered, not daring to look at Xander, whose forehead was still pressed against the glass.

Disappointment was written all over Mrs. Harper’s face. “I suppose so.” She watched me gather my things. “I hope you feel better.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I hurried past her. As soon as the door shut behind me, I turned to Xander and shook my head. “Really?”

Xander, dressed in his usual attire of all black from head to toe, turned to me with a smirk. “It’s been too long since we’ve done this.”

“Done what?” I asked. A stupid question. Xander just lifted one eyebrow at me–he didn’t have to say it. I knew exactly what he wanted to do.

He wanted to ditch school and smoke outside of Boomer’s, the old-fashioned general store just down the road from the high school. The place was half gas station, half cafe, and besides the assortment of candy, magazines, and pantry items inside, it looked like it hadn’t been updated since at least the 1970s.

Boomer himself was the reason most of us hung out there before and after school. (Or, in Xander’s case, during school.) He was an old hippie and a teenager at heart, and if we came in smelling like weed, he just laughed it off and asked us why we weren’t sharing. None of our parents trusted him, which gave us more reason to look up to him.

I held my English notebook and copy of Catcher in the Rye by my side. “I have a chemistry test seventh period,” I told Xander, following him down the hallway. I had to take quick, long strides to keep up with him. “Why are we doing this today, Xan?”

“One, because it’s Friday. Two, because I don’t feel like factoring polynomials right now. And three,” he said, stopping in front of me, “because I fuckin’ miss you, all right?”

A pang of guilt settled in my stomach. Though I’d known Xander longer than anyone at this school, we’d drifted apart in recent years. I had sort of found my place amongst the band nerds and fellow class clowns, whereas Xander became more and more of a loner, picking fights with anyone who dared to look at him the wrong way. We barely had anything in common anymore, yet somehow, I felt more comfortable around him than any of my other friends.

And I knew that if anyone ever crossed me, Xander would have my back.

When we reached the end of the hallway, he turned right instead of moving toward the front doors of the school. “Where are you–”

“We’re taking Abigail.”

Oh, jeez. I wanted to tell Xander that his life would be a lot easier if he would just let Abigail go, but I knew I’d only be wasting my breath.

He led us to the library, where he immediately found Abigail pushing a cart full of books. She smiled when she saw us, flipping her long, red hair over her shoulder. “Oh boy. Do I even want to know?”

As he approached Abigail, Xander glanced at Mrs. Lake, the librarian, who had her nose stuck in a book at the circulation desk. “Come with us.”

“Where?” Abigail asked, bringing the cart to a halt beside us.

“Boomer’s.”

“For what?”

“To blow off some steam,” Xander said, sticking his hands in his pockets. He blinked at her a few times so she’d get the message. “What do you think?”

Abigail hadn’t hung out with us once that entire school year, and it was already April. Like me, she had her own group of friends, some of them overlapping with the people I hung around with. Yet she’d known Xander even longer than me, and the two of them had a weird bond that was borderline annoying sometimes.

I couldn’t wait to find out which one of them would be the first to admit they were in love with the other.

“Xander,” Abigail said, glancing down at the cart full of books that needed to be returned to the shelves. “I’m helping Mrs. Lake right now. Wait, how did you know I’d be in here?”

“I have my ways,” he answered.

She rolled her eyes. “You won’t talk to me, but you’ll stalk me? Nice.”

Xander's expression shifted, and he seemed caught off guard by her accusation. “What? I talk to you.”

The staredown between the two of them that followed this exchange made me uncomfortable. I glanced up at the library clock. One hour and thirty-three minutes until seventh period. “You don’t have to go with us, Abigail,” I told her, but I knew it was useless. If Xander asked Abigail to jump off a cliff with him, she’d already be getting a running start by now.

“Whatever. Wait for me in the hall,” she whispered, motioning for us to go. We did as instructed, lingering in the inlet leading to the school library. A moment later, Abigail joined us, and the three of us made our way toward the school entrance.

When we rounded the corner into the front hallway, we came face to face with our assistant principal, Mr. Higgins, and stopped in our tracks.

“Xander Pierce,” Mr. Higgins said, taking a step toward us. He and Xander had gotten to know each other pretty well over the past three years. He was the “bad cop” counterpart to Principal Sloane, and he had held a vendetta against Xander since freshman year. “What kind of mischief are you about to get yourself into, huh?”

Xander responded with a cool, unbothered laugh, which sent a feeling of dread down my spine. “Mischief? What kind of mischief do you think I’m going to get into with these guys?” He gestured toward both of us with his thumbs. “We’re running an errand for the school paper.”

Neither Abigail or I were on the newspaper staff with Xander, and I prayed Mr. Higgins didn’t recall that detail. He took a few steps closer, jingling the keys in the pocket of his khaki pants. And to my surprise, he looked me in the eyes and addressed me directly. “Gardner?”

I swallowed. “Yeah?”

“If you want to get anywhere in life, distance yourself from Mr. Pierce here.” He nodded toward Xander before turning to Abigail. “Same goes for you. That’s the best advice I can give.” And with that, he made his way past us, deciding to duck into a nearby classroom.

We’d gotten away with it, but none of us moved toward the doors. Abigail and I turned to Xander in unison, waiting for him to spout off. But he was silent, his eyes fixated on the purple and white tiled floor in front of us. His nostrils flared as he inhaled.

Mr. Higgins didn’t know anything about my best friend. He couldn’t possibly know what made Xander like this, or why he sometimes skipped school for days at a time.

As a matter of fact, Abigail and I were the only ones who knew.

“Fuck him,” I muttered.

“My thoughts exactly,” Abigail said, and we started walking again. “Don’t let him get to you, Xan.”

Xander laughed. “I’m not even worried about it. The guy’s probably right. I mean, look what I’m making the both of you do now. If either of you were as smart as your grades reflect, you wouldn’t be with me right now, huh?”

I didn’t know what to say. Neither did Abigail, apparently. The run-in with Mr. Higgins had soured Xander’s mood. And as we walked across the lot to his truck, Abigail and I exchanged a knowing glance.

Xander needed this day, maybe even more than either of us knew. As frustrated as I was, I’d do my best to play along.

Just as long as we made it back in time for my chemistry test.