Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

It was one thing to hear about Dani fighting addiction when they were apart. It was another to watch her go through it. The day their flight landed in New Mexico he watched an array of emotions play over her face and they hadn't stopped.

Scared, angry, humiliated, depressed, sad, and angry again. It was like a constant circle from one to another. And as promised, he was there for every one of them.

"Are you sure you like this?" Dani ran her hand along the comforter she’d just put on their bed. It was one of the pieces she’d been waiting for to finish decorating their room.

It was the third time she’d asked him, so either she didn't like it and wanted him to be the one to say it, or she was moving on to being nervous about the decisions she made.

"I already told you I loved it." He grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the oversized chaise lounge where he sat. It was the same one Black had in his library but they decided it better suited their bedroom. "Is there a reason you think I would lie to you?"

Dani sighed and snuggled herself deeper into his arms. "It's just not the same kind of colors we talked about when we originally planned out our house. We talked about vibrancy and color. This is everything but that."

Ah, so that was what was bothering her.

"We were sixteen when we planned our house out. I would hope our tastes have changed since then."

That brought out the laugh he was hoping for. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Who knew whites, pale greens, and pinks could look so good? I thought for sure I’d want everything to be bright but I have to admit I love the dark stained trim in this house."

"So do I."

He also loved that, in the two weeks since they’d gotten back, almost every room in the house had been painted and furniture was arriving daily. Everything was handpicked by Dani and the designer she insisted they call. Apparently Black was more than happy to share who he used to furnish his property in Pennsylvania. A day didn't go by that Dani wasn't video chatting with the woman to make sure the things she picked out were acceptable. He would pay any amount of money to see her happy and to know someone else was reassuring her.

"Knock, knock!"

He let out a frustrated sigh.

"It doesn't count as a knock if you're already inside the house!" he yelled to Bree.

"Sure it does. It's a courtesy so we don't accidentally see your bare ass."

Every day, one if not all of his teammates’ significant others would stop by, giving Dani the extra support she needed. They continued to show up, despite the occasional mood swings Dani had. And God forbid Dani was feeling blue. Bree was right there to cheer her up. At least Bree’s constant cheerfulness was good for something.

"You wouldn't see my bare ass if you stayed out of my house."

"No can do, big boy. Besides, we aren't here to see you." Bree and Addison wiggled and shoved their way onto the chaise, until they were sitting on either side of him and Dani. It was a good thing the chair was so fucking big. The other four women were kind enough to stand just inside the bedroom door.

"By all means, join us."

"Don't mind if we do." Addison smiled at him.

"Ooooh, that comforter looks even better in person. Good choice."

Dani beamed at Bree's compliment. Gage reminded himself he could deal with their constant interruptions if it meant Dani smiled like that more often.

"It does match the room, doesn't it?"

"It really does," Emma added. "Can't wait to see how the new curtains and pillows look with the rest of it. I think the colors are going to tie it all in together."

Before he knew it, the conversation centered around decor ideas and what room Dani would be working on next. His input wasn't needed, but he wasn't ready to leave either. He still felt the need to hover, just in case Dani needed him for something. Plus he liked having her in his arms. Even if it was squished because of the other two bodies crowding their space.

Of course that wasn't the case. The women knew exactly how to keep Dani focused on the moment. Some days were harder than others. He hoped today was a better one, but usually when Dani felt this unsure about her decisions, it meant she was struggling with something deeper. He would need to keep a closer eye on her in case she needed him since sometimes she was hesitant to admit it.

Three times Dani admitted to cravings. Each time he held her hand and worked through it with her in whatever way seemed best for them at that moment. Sometimes it was sex. Other times it was a distraction. He learned quickly there wasn’t one way, but several tools he needed to have in his toolbox when the situation arose. He did his best not to give her too much downtime to dwell. Eventually, he would be required to travel again for work, but so, far Daniel was being good about giving him time.

Plus, he wasn't cleared from the doctor yet. A few broken ribs tended to do that to a person. Luckily, they didn't puncture his lungs. And other than major bruising, his organs lucked out. The Hell Raisers tried to put him out of commission but it would take a hell of a lot more to bring him down for good.

"Gage, are you even listening to us?" Bree snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you it's rude to snap your fingers at people?"

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to pay attention when someone is speaking to you?" she challenged back.

"I assumed my opinion was no longer needed, so I tuned you all out." He smiled at Dani so she knew he was only teasing.

"Well, it's needed now," Bree snapped.

"You have my full attention." His words were laced with sarcasm.

Bree rolled her eyes and Dani chuckled. She fit right in with the rest of the women, just like he knew she would.

"Are you team pink or blue?" Bree asked seriously.

Gage stuttered and whipped his head to look at Dani with wide eyes. She was doing her best to hide a smirk, but she put her hands up in surrender and shook her head.

"Which one of you?"

Every head in the room turned to Bree.

"No shit?" Gage let a huge smile take over his face. "Chance must be thrilled." His friend talked all the time about knocking her up. It was one of his life goals. Several times over in fact, since he wanted more than one.

"Oh trust me, he's happy. Now answer the question. Team pink or blue."

Thinking back to his phone calls with Bree, that explained so much. Her overreaction to things the last two weeks. The random mood swings. If she acted this crazy this early on in the pregnancy, then it was going to be a long nine months for all of them.

"Boy. I'm not sure the world can handle another version of you."

"Har har. With your luck, I'll have the male version of myself."

That was probably true, but he would hope that Chance's genes were stronger. Besides, they needed to level things out. Karlie and Franni both had girls. They were due to have a boy join the ranks. It was only fair.

The conversation turned to baby showers and designing the nursery. Bree wanted Dani's help since she clearly had an eye for design.

It got him wondering about their own future. They hadn't discussed kids since they were teenagers and Dani accidentally got pregnant. Back then she wanted kids, just not so young like their parents, but would she now?

The wives stayed for another hour or so. By the time they left, he was itching to have the conversation. Patience wasn't one of the qualities he possessed, and once an idea popped into his head, he needed to act on it.

"Is everything okay? You seemed a little preoccupied after Bree shared her news."

Perfect. She gave him the opening he needed.

"Do you want to have kids?"

Dani flinched and he wanted to kick his own ass for blurting the question out. He certainly could've done it with more tact than that. He was sure it was still a sore subject considering their past.

"I'm not sure. I mean, do I want children, yes. But should I have them is another story."

It killed him that she didn't give herself enough credit, and maybe this was too soon to be having the conversation. But he didn't want her to put her life on hold because of her addiction. Not when he was confident she could beat it.

"You hate my answer," she added when he didn't respond fast enough.

"No," he was quick to reassure her. "I don't hate your answer. I want you any way I can get you but I want you to live life as well. I don't want you to be afraid to do things."

"What if I relapse again?"

The thought of relapsing kept her up most nights and he made sure to tell her he believed she was strong enough to do anything she put her mind to. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He researched addiction until he couldn’t stand to read another article all because he wanted to support her every way he could.

"I believe in you. Did the conversation with your therapist and sponsor go well this week?"

"Yeah. They reminded me it wasn't my fault and they too believe I can get through this."

Good. He didn't need to kill either one of them, then. And he would too. Anyone who made her feel like less of a person because of her addiction would meet an untimely death. She deserved better from the people in her life.

"You got this. And if you ever doubt yourself, I will be right there to remind you."