34. Chapter 34

The first thing I noticed was the pain in my stomach. Fuck me. My eyes fluttered open to find myself lying in a hospital bed with a stomach so swollen it looked like I was having a fucking baby. My throat was raw from the tube running through my nose. When I shifted in the bed, trying to sit up, I groaned.

Holyfuckinghell.

I looked around the room to find Aspen sleeping, his body contorted in an uncomfortable chair. For a moment, I forgot about my pain as a surge of emotion filled me from seeing him here with me. The amount of love that swelled in me because he'd stayed. He hadn't left me. What a rare feeling to be so wanted and cared about.

"Asp… Aspen," I croaked.

His pretty dark chocolate eyes fluttered open, and he yawned before focusing on me and giving me a tired smile. "Hey, Superstar."

Aspen stood and sat on the edge of my bed, and combed back my bangs from my forehead, then took my hand without the IV. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got tackled by an entire football team."

"I can imagine. Your appendix ruptured, but it was caught pretty early. Still, they had to do pretty extensive surgery to clean out the infection."

I nodded. "W-water."

"Can't. The nurse said you can't have anything until the tube is removed. She said the fluids they're giving you should keep you pretty hydrated."

Aspen handed me a contraption with a wire and a button at the top. "For pain. They said for you to press it if you're hurting too much."

I didn't hesitate to press the button. It didn't take long for the warmth to travel through my body, easing my pain. "How long… ah, how long do I have to be here? There's a game in a couple of weeks."

Aspen's smile was empathetic, and he played with my fingers. "Sorry, Coop. No game for you. You're out for a good two months."

My head fell back onto the pillow as my eyes watered and my lip trembled. I was going to miss the fucking Sugar Bowl. This was my time to prove that I could be the best and deserved to be recruited. I tried to console myself that I still had next year, but still.

Aspen reached for my face and wiped some stray tears. "I'm so sorry, baby. I understand how much this game means to you."

"It is what it is."

"Coop, you're allowed to be upset. You don't have to be so accepting. Be mad. There's nothing wrong with that."

"I am mad. I'm upset. It fucking hurts, but I have no control over my situation."

A nurse came in and checked my vitals, asked me how I felt, and gave me a new IV bag. Soon, the doctor came in. She looked too young to be one, but what the hell did I know? Her brown hair was underneath a surgical cap, and she wore pink scrubs. Her skin looked so pale, showing she probably didn't get out much from being overworked.

"Good afternoon, Cooper. I'm Dr. Carmichael. I performed your surgery before the crack of dawn this morning." She winked good-naturedly. "You came to us barely on time. We usually hope that people come in before the appendix ruptures, but it happens."

She looked at my chart on a tablet and read whatever the nurse had written on there. "Looking good. We'd like to see you walking around soon. Sometime today would be preferable. The sooner you're walking, the faster you're on the road to recovery. Later on, if we see your bowels are functioning properly, we'll remove the tube from your stomach. But you're going to be here for a while, I'm sorry to say. We need to make sure you heal well and no infection sets in. Once you're released, you're to take it easy for the next six weeks."

"Okay."

She lifted my hospital gown and checked my sutures before covering me up again.

"Looks good. You're going to have a lot of swelling in the stomach area for a long time. It will take a few months to get you back to the way you were. Any questions?"

I shook my head, unable to think too clearly, anyway.

She patted my foot and left, along with the nurse.

Aspen sat back on the bed and took my hand again. "Your parents are here. Well, they were, but once you got out of surgery and knew you were okay, they left to grab a hotel room. And Ben was the first to come by. And, let's see… Bryce, Ronnie, and Cassie came to see how you were, but they weren't allowed in. I'm only allowed in because you gave the hospital permission. Hell, they've even talked about you on fucking ESPN. Superstar Cooper Summers is out of commission. It's weird dating someone so famous."

That pulled a smile out of me. "I'm not famous."

"You're getting there, Superstar. Once you get into the NFL, everyone will be talking about you."

"Thanks for being here, Asp. I love you."

"I love you, too. But don't ever pull this shit again. I don't like freaking out."

"I'll do my best."

Aspen lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles right when my parents walked in. Because, of course, they did. They never made anything fucking easy. He quickly dropped my hand, but they'd seen it anyway.

To hell with it.

I reached for his hand and held it as my parents watched the movement, then back at me. Aspen's eyes grew wide at my gesture, and then he smiled—one of those Aspen smiles like I hung the sun and the moon, easing my tension.

Suddenly, I was filled with anger I hadn't felt in a long time. Not just from the loss of the game I desperately wanted to play and be there for my teammates, but from my parents. Nothing like knowing you could've died to put things in fucking perspective for you.

"Aspen, could you give me a minute alone with my parents?"

"Sure."

He let go of my hand, but our fingers lingered for a moment as if it physically hurt us to be separated.

Mom and Dad were looking stiff as hell. Always stiff. Whatever. I was over this.

"Why were you holding your roommate's hand like that, Cooper?" Mom asked when Aspen slipped out the door. She looked tired. They both did. It was almost like they cared.

"Jesus. You could ask me how I'm feeling first."

She softened. That was when the worry washed over her. When I looked up at Dad, he'd rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You're right, honey," she said. "How do you feel? Does it hurt terribly?"

"I can ask the doctor to make sure you have the best meds, and I'll stay on top of them to ensure you've got the best care. Although your surgeon seems capable," Dad said.

"It hurts, and I hate not being able to play in the Bowl, but it seems like I was meant to sit this one out."

My eyes watered again as we sat there quietly, not knowing what to say, before I finally got the guts to speak up. "Aspen and I are dating. That's why we were holding hands."

"What?" Mom asked, doing her best not to look shocked but doing a shitty job of it.

Dad stiffened and looked at the floor, grinding his teeth.

"Get over it," I snapped, though it hurt my body being so tense. They both looked up at me, wide-eyed, but I raised a weak hand to stop whatever they were about to say. "I've been a damn obedient son to you, doing all that you wanted of me. I make good grades, go to an excellent school, and play football as you wanted me to. You want me to go to medical school, and I already told you I'm going to try to get recruited into the NFL. This is what I want to do. It's my life. I want to be happy, and you should want that for me, too."

"Son—" Dad started, his voice tight.

"I'm not finished. Now Aspen is a surprise. I didn't expect to find love in a man, but here we are. Aspen is damn near amazing. He lives this life that…" I sighed and yawned, which fucking hurt. God, I was tired, but I needed to say this now. "He loves life and strives to make the most of what he's been given, and he's so damn honest about it. I want that, too. We love each other and want to try to make a go of it. And we're both going into this with eyes wide open. We understand the consequences and risks. Aspen is worth it."

I rested my head back on the pillow, now exhausted from the surgery, meds, and pain in my stomach. "I just… sometimes it seems like you don't even love me."

A sniffle from my mom pulled my attention back to her. "We do love you. Both you and Ben. We only tried to keep you on a straight path and make life easier for you. Your dad and I struggled when we were younger, and… we lost something precious to us a long time ago. We got so caught up in what we wanted for you, we forgot what it was like to have a life of your own. I think we tried to protect ourselves… our hearts, too. But with you… nearly dying…" Mom stifled a gasp.

"Put things in perspective for your mother and me," Dad finished for her.

What did she mean? What did they lose? Protect them from what? I reminded myself to come back to that later.

She nodded and grabbed a tissue off the side table. "We've been so wrapped up in what we wanted and our project… I'm so sorry, honey."

"I'm sorry, too, son."

"God, we nearly lost you…" Mom's voice was tremulous as she held back emotions I never believed she even had.

My burning eyes watered, and I turned away to look at the TV on the wall that was turned off. While I wanted to forgive them, it would take time to shake their control, but I knew I would, eventually.

"Can you please accept me the way I am and my choices? I don't want it easy. And if I fall, I know Aspen will be there to lift me up, as I would do for him. There won't be a girl, but a boy. It will be a hard road for us, and I'm okay with that. I wasn't at first. I worried too much about pleasing everyone and adhering to what is ‘normal.' It nearly ruined what I had with Aspen and a chance to be happy. Being without him was horrible. I don't want to go through that again. Please."

The tears finally spilled, and I felt like I wanted to collapse into a coma. I'd never cried in front of my parents, not since I was little. They had always taught Ben and me to toughen up and shake it off.

Mom's hand resting on top of mine was her answer, which was answer enough. She would try. I turned my hand, palm up, and she held it in hers. Then Dad patted my leg. "It's…. Not something we expected or prepared for. It won't be easy, but we'll try, Cooper."

"That's all I ask. Now, I'm drained. Could you… send Aspen in? I need him."

When Mom stood and leaned down to kiss my head, I let out a strangled sob. I tried to hold it back, but nothing prepared me for her affection. But it wasn't from the years of frustration. My sob was full of need and hope.

When they left, Aspen came right in, so I assumed he'd been right outside my door. He looked at me with worry and sat on my bed again, gently wiping away my tears.

"How'd it go?"

"Better than I expected. They… they're going to try to work through the fact that I'm with a man. They didn't hate me or tell me to stop, but it won't be easy for them."

His muscles eased, and he smiled. With the utmost care, Aspen leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on my cracked lips.

"I'm glad they came around and stepped up for you. That's a big deal, Superstar."

"I know."

"Uhm, just warning you, though… I may or may not have given Ben a big-ass lecture about being more supportive."

I smiled weakly as my eyes began to droop. "He's trying his best."

"He needs to try harder."

"My protector."

"Damn, right I am."

If we continued talking, I had no memory of it as darkness claimed me, desperate for sleep.