4. Rita

4

RITA

" W hat's wrong with him?" I glared at the doctor clutching the file in the waiting room. I hadn't been able to see Papá yet.

They wouldn't let me. They wouldn’t fucking let me.

"He's out of surgery, and he's doing just fine. Mr. Aguilar just needs time to recover from the anesthesia, Ms. Aguilar." His voice shook on my name. This was the best hospital in our part of town. We sent all of our men here.

This was even the place that treated Parker when he was shot on Dirty Dog property.

He knew exactly who I was. Because of that, he wouldn't lie to me.

The staff would also make sure Papá would be given the best care and attention. They knew that the Dirty Dogs were the only thing standing between them and another more vile group coming in and making demands and unreasonable requests. They'd want to avoid as much conflict and death as possible.

Still, I couldn't stand not being able to see him .

"Um, well," the doctor said as he started patting his jacket pockets. "Do you need a tissue?" He pulled a wadded up tissue from his pocket.

I sneered at it. "What the fuck do I want with that?"

"To..." He motioned to my face. "To wipe your face."

"You're crying, Rita," Amorette said softly at my shoulder as she gently cupped my arm.

"Like fuck, I am." I dashed my fingers across my cheeks. "I don't fucking cry. But this prick is going to take me to my father right now. Or else, he'll be missing more than a ratty piece of tissue. Got me?" I pointed my finger in his face, almost stabbing him with my nail.

"Ms. Aguilar! He just needs ten more minutes to wake up! This is procedure!"

I zeroed in on his neck, ready to wring it. They couldn't keep me from my father. They couldn't keep me from the only man in my life who had ever loved me unconditionally.

He meant everything to me.

"Doc," Esteban said as he stepped up next to me, trying to take my hand. I yanked it out of his reach and did my fucking best not to look at him. Gritting his teeth, he kept his gaze on the scared as fuck doctor in front of me. "He's in recovery. There's no harm in letting his daughter sit by his side until he wakes up."

"There are processes in place in case we run into any issues–"

"There's no harm in it. I'm sure you can make an exception this one time." His voice dropped into a threatening tone and the doctor started nodding before he shook his head.

"Sir–"

"Call me Esteban. "

"Esteban–"

"The next words out of your mouth better be that you'll arrange for a nurse to take Ms. Aguilar back to see Javier, or the entire waiting room is not going to be happy." Esteban stressed entire, like the doctor didn't have a clue there were thirty plus men in the room behind me, all waiting for word about Papá .

He was loved and respected and every single person here with me would tear this place apart to get to him. That's how much he was loved.

"I need two minutes." The doctor dashed away so fast that his jacket flapped behind him like a cape.

"Can you give us a second?" Esteban asked Amorette.

She nodded, glancing at me before she walked over to where Andre stood in the corner with his arms crossed. The Dirty Dogs gave him a wide berth and he gave not one fuck.

Letting my eyelids flutter closed, I shivered from all the adrenaline racing through my veins. I only needed to see him. That was it. Just to know he was okay. Then I could stop feeling like I was crawling out of my skin.

"Are you okay?" Warm fingers trailed across the back of my neck and I stepped forward, breaking the contact. I didn't need his comfort. I needed to see my fucking Papá .

"Fine," I bit out, skating my gaze over his face.

Fire flashed in Esteban's light brown eyes as he leaned closer. "Stop lying to me. You've never been good at it."

I scoffed. "That's a lie all on its own." I wasn't a compulsive liar, but when I needed to be the cover, or mislead crooked assholes for the gang, I did. Without issue.

Esteban gave one tiny shake of his head and came so close, only an inch separated his chest from my arm. He didn't touch me, knowing that would push me away .

"You've never been good at lying to me , Rita." His eyes shifted back and forth as he watched me, as if he was trying to work something out.

A warmth started to curl in my stomach just like it had that one night last year. I had been drunk. Esteban had been there. He was a sexy man. Black hair cropped close to his head and a strong, square jaw. Ripped in all the right places with dimples on his cheeks and the small of his back.

He knew how to drive a woman wild, and I needed that. For one night.

Then the splash of cold reality the next morning put everything into perspective. Exactly like Papá's life being on the line now.

I didn't respond, instead watching the hall the doctor disappeared through.

"You're not okay."

"What's your point?" I returned, louder than I intended. Some of our people were already watching and a few of the top members rose from their seats.

Shit, I had to be careful. Esteban was well liked. But he was young and hadn't been in as long as some of these men I'd known my whole life. They'd teach him a lesson if he upset me.

He glanced at the men in the waiting room before turning back to me, this time with hurt-drenched eyes. "I know you better than you think I do. I care about you, even when you're a bitch. So I'm going to make sure you're okay. I'm going to make sure you get to see Javier when you want to see him, because that's who I am. Fucking deal with it."

Then he turned and walked to the wall, propping himself up against it as his gaze stayed glued to me. I burned from the inside out for so many reasons. Now wasn’t the time to examine any of them .

"Okay, Ms. Aguilar," the same doctor panted as he came rushing out of the hall. "Follow me."

I didn't give Esteban another thought as I followed the doctor through the double doors.

"Mr. Aguilar has just started to wake up. His vitals are good. You can sit with him until we move him to a private room." The doctor scanned his badge and another set of double doors opened. A nurse was waiting and pulled the curtain back on a bay right next to the nurses station.

Good. They were taking this seriously and watching the hell out of him.

I wished they had let him wake up in a private room, but maybe this was better. Safer for him.

"Thank you," I murmured as I pulled the one chair in the curtained area right next to the bed.

The steady beeping from the machines hooked up to him was comforting as I took his hand in mine. It was warm and dry. A reminder that he was still here with me. His eyes fluttered slightly, but he didn't seem coherent yet.

My breathing turned shallow. Seeing him in this bed made it all real. He wasn’t invincible like I’d always thought.

I'd just talked to him yesterday. He was fine. Now he was laid up in the hospital and it killed me to see him like this. He’d hate being seen in a gown like this. It didn’t scream head of the Dirty Dogs.

Five more minutes passed before his head rolled my way and he seemed to see me.

"Margarita?" His voice slurred and his fingers twitched in mine as if he only now realized I was holding it.

" Papá ." I scooted to the edge of the chair.

"Wha–what happened?" He tried to glance around, but he couldn't. He didn't have enough energy for that yet.

His skin was sallow and for the first time in my life, he appeared weak. I sucked in a sharp breath. He needed to get out of here, then he’d be back to his old self.

"You had a heart attack." My voice was so thick, I hoped he could understand me. "They said you had a blockage and it needed to be removed. They did a surgery, but you're going to be okay now."

"Damn," he cursed.

"No more fried food or beer for a while. Doctor's orders." I made that up. They hadn't said that. But they would. I'd watched enough TV to know what they recommended for people after heart attacks.

He tried to laugh but made a pained sound.

"Shhh...don't laugh. Don't try to move." I got so close to the bed, my chest pressed against the rails. "You don't want to cause yourself any harm."

Papá's eyes started to close. "So tired."

"I know." I smoothed my hand over his white hair. "But stay awake just a little longer. For me?"

"I'd do anything for you," he sighed. His eyes still closed but they reopened a few seconds later. "I thought Matías would help me."

My chest squeezed uncomfortably. Papá always had a soft spot for Matías. I had too. It was like fate that I'd loved the man my father had taken under his wing. Until fate broke my fucking heart.

How could Papá talk about Matías now ? When I was here in front of him?

I wasn't jealous. I knew Papá loved me more than anything in the world. But the one disappointment I'd ever had for my father was when he refused to cut off his relationship with Matías when he kicked me aside.

He'd sighed and smoothed his hand over my hair like I was ten years old all over again .

"There are some things you're lucky enough not to understand."

That was all he'd said on the matter.

I'd hated him for days. Maybe even a few weeks. Then I realized how stupid I was.

Right now, with my own heart threatening to stop in fear, I wished I could take it back. Spend a few more hours with him, just in case.

But he was okay. I was being overdramatic.

"Matías was supposed to be one of us. I wanted him for you..." Papá's words were still slurred. The pain meds or anesthesia or whatever had him out of his mind still.

I could cut him off. Shut the conversation down. Or I could ask questions, get information from him that he'd kept from me.

Yet, I sat there. Frozen. Wanting all the answers, and fighting a building fury rising in my gut.

How fucking dare that asshole steal these moments with my Papá . He loved Matías like a son, and then Matías had fucked off and faked his death. Who did that?

Someone who didn't give a damn about my feelings. Who only cared about his precious brothers.

I turned my head to the side and pressed my lips together. This was the exact line of thinking that led to me cornering Parker in our club. It was useless thinking that would only get me in trouble.

This kind of attitude festered and I was better than that now.

Yet it still fucked with my head.

"We need him, don't we, Rita?"

I snapped my head back up. "What for?"

"Posers. They're going to be an issue. Matías would take care of it. "

"We have a whole gang, Papá . A whole fucking gang to squash any problems." My hands started trembling.

Was there trouble coming and no one told me? Esteban wanted to talk a big game about knowing me so well? I'd shove my sharp, high heel up his ass when I walked out of here.

"If he hadn't died..."

"He isn't dead. Remember? He called Amorette."

"He is, or he would have come to see me. We're his family too." There was so much certainty in his words that I wanted to kick Matías over the cliff myself.

I'd grilled Amorette about what happened a dozen times, reliving the pain with her until she got the call from her sister.

"What do you want, Papá ?" I released a slow breath. Would I do anything about it?

"I want Matías to take my place. I want him where he's supposed to be. Where I always planned for him to be."

Jerking up, I breathed through my nose as my eyes burned. What fucking shit was this?

Whatever tears I'd shed dried up like the Sahara desert as all the scorn, embarrassment, and anger welled up to take their place. My brain sizzled with all the reasons I shouldn't walk out that door and jump on a plane.

But I wasn't rational. I itched to track Matías down and demand answers. Then force him to come back and make this right with Papá . All Papá ever did was support that motherfucker. He gave Matías a safe space when he wanted to escape his psycho father.

Matías was from a rival group. When Papá found him, he could have and maybe should have taught Matías a lesson and sent him back to Vicente as a strong message .

Yet, Matías just spit on Papá’s kindness by faking his death and staying away when he didn’t fucking need to.

The nurse poked her head around the curtain. "Miss. I need you to step out for a few minutes so we can check him over."

Nodding, I stood and exited the curtained-off area. Without waiting for a nurse to accompany me, I walked back to the waiting room.

My hands trembled by my sides and my brain was electric with a rush of thoughts. Papá was in the hospital. He was weak. This stint in the hospital and his recovery would mean trouble for Dirty Dogs. That was how our world worked.

How long would Papá be around if he was starting to have health issues? My chest tightened.

He wanted Matías to show up for him? I would damn well make sure it happened.

Amorette had the answers I wanted. Esteban too. There was so much shit that I needed to yell and ask and demand, but right then, I had tunnel vision for one person only.

When I crossed through the doors, Amorette saw me before anyone else. Pushing away from Andre's chest, she took a step toward me.

"How is Javier? Is he okay?"

I shook my head and held up a hand. "He's okay. Really chatty, unfortunately." Her face softened in relief as Andre came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Amorette tipped her head as she studied me. "You don't look so good."

"When was the last time you spoke to Matías?"

"We haven't. You know that." Amorette furrowed her brow .

"Strike that. When was the last time you checked up on him?" They had hired a private investigator to figure out where in the world Matías was. We never spoke on it after that because I did my best to forget he ever existed, but they had to have found him.

And kept tabs on him.

Amorette and Andre exchanged glances then checked the room. All the Dirty Dogs were listening. Of course they were. Their President was in recovery, and their princess was livid and losing it. People tended to get stabbed when I was in my feels.

But that didn't mean they didn’t care about Matías. We'd spread the word quietly through the club that he was alive. He had more friends in Dirty Dogs than either Andre or Amorette realized.

"We can talk about this later," Andre said in a commanding tone.

"Nope. Sorry, man. But I want to know right now. Do you know where he is?"

"Why?" Suspicion entered every line of his face and body.

"Because Javier wants to see him." And I want to smash his balls in.

"We know where he is." Sweet little Amorette was a jewel.

"Good. I want his location."

Esteban edged up on the side, his face carefully blank. "What are you thinking?"

"Don't know me so well now, do you?" I smirked. Glancing at him, my smirk died into a flat line. He pressed his lips together as his gaze roamed my face.

That’s right, asshole. I’m going to fuck your life up after I grant Papá’s wish. You just have to wait your turn .

"Why do you want it?" Finally Amorette started to question my motives.

"Don't worry. I don't want to hurt him. I'm just going to drag his ass back here so he can tell Javier exactly why he's never contacted him again."

I didn't bother telling them all the other things I would do when I got there.