Chapter Seventeen

Madelyn

Madelyn hated to admit it, but she was depressed. Not to mention pissed. She had fallen asleep in Xavier’s arms, exhausted from the intense but incredible sex, with him making promises of forever, only to wake up the next morning alone with his side of the bed cold and empty. That had been two weeks ago, and she hadn’t seen or heard from him since. His bag was still sitting on the bay window, and the only things missing were his keys and his phone. Naturally, she was starting to think that everything he had said to her was a goddamn lie, and it hurt more than she cared to admit.

Despite her better judgment. She had fallen for the guy. His dirty mouth and the depraved games they had played had become a staple in her life, and she didn’t know what to do without them anymore. She didn’t know what to do without him. He wasn’t even watching her from the shadows anymore because she was once again back to feeling completely and utterly alone. It was suffocating and damn near debilitating.

The only thing she could do was try to keep herself busy to keep her mind off of the soul-sucking darkness that threatened to consume her. Staying busy meant that she couldn’t get lost in the dark depths of her mind. She wouldn’t get stuck trying to figure out what she did wrong to make Xavier leave her the way he did. Focusing on how angry she was at him helped, as did the fact that she was seemingly fighting off a really bad cold.

A couple of days ago, she woke up feeling like she had been hit by a dump truck. She was nauseated and dizzy and was having a hard time keeping anything down. She had thought it would have gone away or at least started to ease up a bit, but it was staying steady. So, after throwing up for the third time that morning, she made a call to her doctor to set an appointment. Thankfully, she managed to squeeze her in for later that afternoon.

Madelyn was sitting on the couch in a shirt and sweats, waiting for Bernie to show up to take her to the clinic. She didn’t trust herself to drive as lightheaded as she was feeling, and she couldn’t call Melanie since the two of them still weren’t talking. In hindsight, she still couldn’t believe she had blown up an amazing friendship for a guy who just ghosted her once he got what he wanted from her.

A part of her wondered if maybe it was the chase that had kept him interested. Maybe he only wanted her when he couldn’t have her, and it pissed her off that she had fallen for it too. She was furious in fact and wanted nothing more than to give Xavier a piece of her mind. It was that desire that had her texting and calling him a couple of times a day and had her pulling up his number again now.

Once again, the phone just continued to ring over and over again, only fueling her frustration further. She growled and was just about to hang up when she suddenly heard the distinct sound of someone picking up and sighing heavily.

“Yeah.”

Madelyn blinked and glanced at the phone to see if she accidentally misdialed. She knew Xavier’s voice as well as she knew her own, and the voice that answered was unmistakably female.

“Hello?” the voice pressed, sounding irritated.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I was looking for Xavier?” she stammered.

“He’s… unavailable at the moment. Who is this?”

“Madelyn.”

Her answer was instinctive as her mind was still trying to process what was going on. Everything Xavier had said to her had been a lie to get into her pants, it had to be. She wasn’t his mate or soulmate, or whatever. It had all been a way for him to get her into bed and he had obviously moved on already. However, why he had left his duffel bag with some of his clothes and some other interesting toys behind was still a mystery to her. Not that it mattered. She should have known better than to give in to him, and she should have listened to Melanie from the very beginning. She should have turned the prick in to the police when she had the chance.

“Madelyn? Oh, yeah. I’ve heard about you.”

“Uh-huh. And who are you?” she countered, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

“Oh, I’m Isabelle. I’m a… friend of Xavier’s.”

Her stomach soured in an instant, bile rising in her throat. Xavier had admitted that he and Isabelle had a history, a sexual history. It had been yet another lie when he told her that she didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to Isabelle because he had run right back to her once he was done with her. How could she have been so stupid?

“Listen, Madelyn. There’s something you should know,” Isabelle began, her voice softening. “About Xavier.”

“No, I think I know enough,” she snapped quickly. “Sorry I bothered you.”

Without giving Isabelle the chance to respond, she ended the call and immediately blocked Xavier’s number. She was done with him. She had to be for her own sanity.

Xavier was a walking red flag, and yet she had ignored all the signs. She had embraced him and his darkness even though a part of her had known it was going to end this way. She had even allowed herself to develop feelings for him, to lose herself in him, and now she was paying the price. She had no one to blame but herself.

The tears in her eyes began to fall more freely now, her chest feeling like it had been cut open and was spilling all over the floor. As hard as it was though, she decided to let herself feel it this time instead of forcing it down. If she allowed herself to feel this pain, if she embraced it for a while, then she would be less inclined to make the same mistake again. Reaching over to the edge of the couch, she grabbed the navy blue sweatshirt of Xavier’s that she had been basically living in the last couple of days.

A soft sob escaped her lips as she pulled it over her head. At the same time, there was a knock on her door. As always, Bernie was right on time. Wiping her face, she pushed herself off the couch and made her way toward the door, grabbing her purse on the way out.

“Hey, kiddo,” Bernie greeted with a smile once she opened the door. “You ready to go?”

“Hey, Bernie. Yeah, I’m ready.”

She stepped out onto the porch and locked the door behind her before Bernie took her arm and led her to the car. It was an old beat-up station wagon that smelled like leather polish and cigars. It fit Bernie perfectly.

“Thanks for doing this, Bernie,” she said as they pulled out onto the road. “I appreciate it.”

He glanced over at her, still beaming. “Of course! Happy to do it. Though, I am surprised that you didn’t ask Melanie. Is… is everything alright between the two of you?”

Madelyn turned her gaze out of the passenger side window, worried that she might start crying again. “Why do you ask?”

She felt rather than saw him shrug. “Like I said, usually, you’d ask Melanie to take you to your appointments. Don’t get me wrong. I really am happy to do it. I just thought she’d be far better company. Not to mention the fact that you look like crap.”

“Hey!” she exclaimed with a small, weak laugh. “I look like crap because I’m sick.”

“Maybe that’s part of it, but I know you well enough to know that there’s something else going on with you too,” he replied. “You can’t hide that shit from a seasoned detective. Add to that the fact that Melanie has been just as depressed and has snapped at everyone at the station more than a few times, and it’s easy to put two and two together. Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

It didn’t bring her any form of joy knowing that Melanie was seemingly suffering too. In fact, she hated it because it was all her fault.

She chewed on her cheek, trying to keep the emotion from her voice. “Not a fight so much as a very big disagreement. It’s not like we started throwing fists or anything.”

“Well, what was the disagreement about? Anything I can do to help? I do have a wealth of knowledge, you know.”

“I appreciate that,” she said truthfully. “But I don’t think there’s anything anyone can do. Melanie made it clear that she’s done with me.”

“Well now. I don’t believe that for a second.”

Madelyn looked over at him and lifted an eyebrow in question.

Bernie just shrugged again, not taking his eyes off the road. “Come on. I’ve seen the two of you together. You guys are like sisters. And sisters fight all the time. I have little doubt that the two of you will work it out in no time.”

That was one of the things Madelyn loved about Bernie. He had one of the biggest hearts of anyone she knew, and he had the kind of optimism that was contagious. It managed to ignite a small spark of hope within her chest despite her attempts to squash it back down. She wanted nothing more than to believe that she and Melanie could reconcile and go back to the way things were before she had let a man come between them.

However, Madelyn was worried about getting her hopes up. A part of her knew that the chances of that were slim. After everything she had done when it came to Xavier, she didn’t blame Melanie either.

A gentle pat on her leg from Bernie pulled her out of her thoughts. She glanced up at him to see him looking at her expectantly. Apparently, he had attempted to continue the conversation but she had been too lost in her own mind to realize it.

She shook herself mentally. “What? Sorry.”

“Nothing. Nevermind.” He paused for a moment before a small smile spread across his lips. “So, you got a new man in your life yet?”

Madelyn couldn’t help but laugh. Not only because of the sudden change in topic but also because of the irony behind his question. If only he knew how closely the two topics were related.