Chapter Ten

Madelyn

Two days had passed since Madelyn had discovered the truth about Xavier, and she was beginning to feel like she was losing her mind. She hadn’t slept, couldn’t eat, and hadn’t even been able to leave the house. Not because she was afraid but because she was worried that she might run into him, and she wasn’t ready to face him just yet. Thankfully, she had a lot of unused vacation time saved up and had been able to make arrangements with the captain to take a couple of weeks off. She needed to get her head on straight before she could even consider going back to work. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to get anything done.

Madelyn took another huge gulp of tequila straight from the bottle, the liquid no longer burning her throat. She had only started drinking to quiet her mind as it had been spinning out of control, and nothing else seemed to work. Now though, she was drunk and was still no closer to deciphering her conflicting emotions. So, she decided to go over what she did know.

Xavier was a shifter and could change into a wolf at will. She was angry that he had kept it from her but even more angry that she could understand why he did. If she messed up and that information fell into the wrong hands, he would end up being locked up and experimented on. Humans did stuff like that with things they didn’t understand. She didn’t see him being able to live a normal life at all. Instead, he would spend the rest of his days being poked, prodded, and dissected to see what made him tick, and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone. On the other hand, he was also the one who believed that they were meant to be together. If that was the case, he should have trusted her enough to tell her the truth instead of her having to find out the way she did.

Truth be told, she couldn’t really blame him for his lack of trust either though. She had been fighting this thing between them from day one. But what else did he expect her to do? Did he think he could just tell her they belonged together, without explaining how or why he believed that, and expect her to go along with it? Especially since, instead of approaching her and talking to her like a normal person, he chose to follow her, deciding to stalk her. Hell, he had mutilated the guy she had been seeing and put him in the hospital solely because they had been going out. It wasn’t exactly the best first impression.

Then, there was the whole assassin or hitman thing. Though, that little tidbit didn’t bother her as much as it probably should have. Everyone had a past, and that was his. The fact that his past was coming back and haunting the both of them was a bit irritating, but it wasn’t an issue either. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Xavier could take Colby easily. Once again, the only reason this was an issue was because he had kept it from her.

The thing that upset her the most though, what she hated to admit even to herself, was the fact that she had actually started to develop feelings for him despite everything he had done. He seemed to be the only person in the world who truly understood her, who knew what she wanted or needed. When he looked at her, he saw her and every broken piece of herself that she had spent years trying to hide from the rest of the world, and he didn’t shy away from it. Instead, he embraced it, and that wasn’t something she was used to.

Madelyn hadn’t seen or heard from Xavier in two days, and she hated how much she missed him because of it. It was no one’s fault but her own. She was the one who told him to get out, but now she was regretting it because she had never felt more alone than she had over the last two days.

Apart from Melanie, Madelyn didn’t have anyone else she could talk to, and she couldn’t exactly talk to her best friend about what was going on. Between the sex, the fact that Xavier was her stalker and an ex-hitman, and the fact that he was a shifter, Melanie would probably think she had completely lost her mind and have her committed. Besides, what he was wasn’t her secret to tell. But all this meant that she was left struggling with it all on her own.

She glanced down at the bottle of tequila in her lap, already one-third of the way empty. Clearly, she was doing one hell of a job of trying to cope.

While Madelyn was thoroughly feeling sorry for herself, her cell phone rang on the nightstand. Her heart leaped within her chest, thinking it might be Xavier. However, one look at the caller ID told her that wasn’t the case, and that tiny shred of hope deflated like a balloon.

“Hey, Mel,” she answered, her words slurring slightly.

“Jesus, you sound like shit,” Melanie replied. “How sick are you?”

Madelyn shook her head even though Melanie couldn’t see her. “Nope. Not sick. Just drunk.”

Apparently, something about that was funny because she heard Melanie laugh. “Well, that’s good I guess. At least you aren’t sick anymore. Any particular reason you are drinking?”

“Nope,” she lied, popping the ‘p’. The alcohol just seemed to make the lying easier, which she was grateful for. She didn’t even have the capacity to feel bad about it right then. “Just felt like having my own party.”

“Well, that’s no fun, why didn’t you invite me?”

Madelyn could practically see the pout on Melanie’s face, and it made her smile. “I’m sorry, I thought you had work tonight.”

“Well, I don’t,” Melanie told her. “And me and the guys were going to head over to Iggy’s. Let me come pick you up. Then you can party with other people instead of all by your lonesome.”

The guys Melanie was talking about were three other detectives from the station. The four of them made it a point to get together once a week to catch up and decompress away from work. Madelyn had a standing invitation, but she hardly ever took them up on it. Melanie was the only one she was close to, even if it was by choice.

If she were smart, she would turn down the offer and just stay at home. In her current state of mind, she wasn’t sure she’d be much fun anyway. However, she was tired of being overwhelmed by things she couldn’t explain and sick of feeling so damn sorry for herself. A night out with her best friend, where she didn’t have to worry about assassins, stalkers, or shifters, could be exactly what she needed. Nothing else she tried seemed to be working.

“You know what? Yeah, come pick me up,” she stated as she climbed unsteadily out of bed and stumbled her way to the closet.

“Wait, really?” Melanie asked, not bothering to hide her surprise.

“Yeah. I just need, like, fifteen minutes to get dressed and get some food in my stomach to soak up some of the alcohol I already drank.”

Melanie squealed so loudly that Madelyn had to pull the phone away from her ear so that her eardrum didn’t rupture as a result. She had known that Melanie would be excited; she just didn’t know she would react like that. It was a bit endearing if she was being honest.

“Oh my god, this is going to be great! You never go out with us. The guys are going to be thrilled. Okay, I’m going to go finish getting ready, I’ll see you in fifteen!”

Melanie hung up the phone before Madelyn had the chance to respond. Knowing her, she had probably done it to prevent Madelyn from changing her mind, not that she had any intention of doing so. She needed this.

The only way she was going to come to grips with everything that happened over the last few days was for her to put Xavier behind her once and for all. She didn’t want or need that kind of drama in her life, and she didn’t see how it would work between them anyway. They were from two very different worlds. Even if she had wanted to pursue things, it would only end in heartbreak just like everything else in her life did. There was no other way for it to go.

Even though Iggy’s was a casual place, Madelyn had decided to wear her black skirt and dark blue, off-the-shoulder, long-sleeved shirt with her black ankle boots. She left her hair down but pinned up one side with a few bobby pins and put on just a touch of makeup. While she wasn’t trying to impress anyone, getting dressed up a bit made her feel better than she had in days.

The act of getting ready and devouring three muffins had helped to get rid of some of the alcohol in her system as well. She was still pretty tipsy, but at least, she wasn’t falling over anymore as she and Melanie made their way to the table where the guys sat. She would have to take it easy on the alcohol, but at least she was here, and she was determined to have a good time.

Lucas was Melanie’s partner, so Madelyn saw him a lot. He was a tall, older gentleman with salt-and-pepper hair and a kind smile. He was married with two kids too, both of whom looked just like him.

Tristen was younger and had just made detective earlier that year, having been a beat cop at a different precinct before that. He had blond hair, blue eyes, and a smile that drove girls wild. He was also the reason that the captain was considering a ‘no dating in the office’ rule at the station.

Bernie was the oldest of them all and had recently moved to desk work since he only had two years before his retirement. However, he had some of the craziest stories Madelyn had ever heard about his time in the field.

All three of the men looked up as they reached the table and grinned at Madelyn.

“Well, hot damn. Look who decided to grace us with her presence,” Lucas teased as they moved to sit down in their seats.

They always chose the table in the back corner because one side of the table was booth seating, so Lucas had some back support. It was also closer to the bathrooms for Bernie, who seemed to have to go every twenty minutes or so. Tristen enjoyed it because it gave him a full view of the bar and all the women.

Madelyn smiled at him and rolled her eyes as she settled into the booth beside Lucas. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I missed you too, you ass.”

“Jesus, what happened to your face?” Lucas asked her, his brows creasing once he got a good look at her.

Melanie had asked the same thing when she showed up. Madelyn had been able to cover the hickeys on her neck and the bruises from her attack with copious amounts of makeup, but there was no hiding the gash on her forehead.

“I ate shit on my way to my car,” she said, telling him the same lie she had told Melanie. “You know that one area where the construction workers are always leaving things out on the sidewalk? I tripped over one of the pipes they left on the ground.”

Bernie beamed at her and gave her arm a gentle squeeze from across the table as she sat down. “Only you can be that clumsy, Madelyn. It really is good to see you though. I can’t remember the last time you hung out with us.”

“I can!” Melanie chimed in. She hung her purse on the chair behind her and turned to face the group. “It was almost a year ago.”

“There’s no way it’s been that long,” Madelyn stated defensively. She tried to think of the last time she was here with them, but all she could remember was being here with David. Had it really been almost a year since she had gone out with them?

Lucas laughed loudly, but it blended in with the cacophony of the bar. “Geez, even I make the time to do this once a week, and I have a wife and two kids!”

“Come on, guys. Leave her alone,” Tristen said simply. “She’s here now, and that’s what counts. So, shall start this off with shots?”

The blond rose from his seat, a universal indication in their group that the next round was on him. She at least remembered that much from the last time she had been here with them. The others nodded their agreement.

Madelyn, however, shook her head. “I’ll take a beer. I already had a third of a bottle of tequila before Melanie picked me up.”

“Pregaming, nice,” Tristen commented with an appreciative nod before he moved toward the bar.

Once the girls were settled and Tristen had returned with their drinks, the five of them fell into comfortable conversation. Madelyn allowed herself to get lost in the stories of what they went through out in the field, which was so much more interesting than what she did at the station. Some of the stories were so ridiculous that the four of them laughed until their sides hurt and they had tears streaming down their cheeks.

While Madelyn had debated on whether to come or not, she was ultimately glad she did. For the first time in two days, her mind was quiet and still. She found herself laughing and enjoying the conversation and companionship. It really had been exactly what she needed, and she finally felt as though she was on the right track to getting her life back together.

While Bernie went to the bathroom again and Melanie headed to the bar to grab the next round, Madelyn’s phone buzzed in her purse. She pulled it out and felt the traitorous butterflies return when she saw that she had received a text from none other than Xavier himself.