Chapter 11

The little boy engraved himself into my soul the second I set eyes on him.

Dirty black hair caked with grime cascades down a face sunken in from hunger. A simple brown shirt hangs loose on his slender frame. He’s nothing but skin and bones, seconds away from toppling over.

He’s dropped unceremoniously into the cell beside mine by a guard, his tiny body thudding against the concrete.

In all my years at the Compound, I have never seen another prisoner. And I have never, not ever, seen another child, least of all a boy.

I remain huddled in the corner of my cell as the boy begins to wail. My skin crawls at the haunting, oddly melodic, sound. It goes on for what feels like hours—but is probably more like a few minutes—until I finally whisper, “Don’t cry.”

He whips his head in my direction, startled, and scrubs a hand down his cheeks, tears smearing the dirt on his face. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” I counter, ambling to my knees and crawling towards him. Thick metal bars separate us, but I know if I reach through, I’ll be able to touch him.

I don’t, of course, but my hand twitches with the sudden irrational need to.

“I just want my mom.” Great, heaping sobs wrack his body, and any preconceived notions of ignoring him diminish. I timidly reach my scrawny arm through the bars and rub his back. His shirt, weighed down with sweat, dirt, and other unsavory substances, sticks to my fingers.

“Did they take you from her?” I whisper, and he sniffles, wiping at both his cheeks once more.

“I just want to go home,” he says, and my heart breaks at the despondency in his voice. The heartbreak. I have just met this boy, and already, I want to soothe him. Nurse him back to health. Sing to the twisted and depraved pieces within him until he’s whole.

“I’m Nina,” I introduce, and he gives me a small, hesitant smile. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, but it’s better than the agony previously radiating from his gaze.

“Kai.”

Raucous laughter driftsto my ears where I’m curled up on Kai’s bed. At some point, people began filtering in, males and females alike.

Abel, after depositing me in Kai’s cell with the assurance he was only a wall away, retired for the night. I can hear his heavy breathing through the bars.

Sleep eludes me as I toss and turn.

Where is Kai?

Abel had assured me he would be here soon, but that was ages ago. Already, I feel itchy and uncomfortable, like a bump on my skin I know I shouldn’t touch but do, anyway.

I hear footsteps pause right outside my cell. A heavy sigh. A muffled curse.

Cain.

Without a word to me, he moves into the cell he shares with his brother. Is it wrong that my heart palpitates in his presence? He hates me, I know that, and yet I can’t stop myself from wanting to comfort him. As I told Abel, there’s something dark inside Cain, something undeniable, and I don’t know if any amount of light can banish it.

I strain my ears, listening to the brothers discuss something in low voices. A part of me wants to dive into their heads and see what they see. Are they alone? Is there another female with them?

Why does that thought gut me? It feels as if dozens of ants are crawling over my skin, eating me alive.

Shutting my eyes, I can feel myself drifting off.

Before sleep can completely consume me, strong hands lift me up and reposition me against a chiseled body.

“Kai,” I murmur drowsily, “you’re back.”

“I’ll always come back for you,” he replies, placing my head on his chest, just under his chin. “Don’t you believe me?”

I choose to remain silent. What I believe is he left me alone with virtual strangers. I can’t forget the crude words he said to me—for the first time in my miserable life, he made me feel unwanted and used. A disgusting mold you can’t quite eliminate.

“Hey,” he whispers, placing a finger against my chin and tilting my head up. “Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I say easily, my heart plummeting and then bottoming out in my stomach.

“You’re angry.” It’s not a question, but a statement.

“I’m not angry.” Sighing, I twist my head so he’s no longer capable of seeing my oddly expressive eyes. He once told me he could read a thousand stories by staring into their milky depths. I believe him. “I’m sad.”

Kai is oddly silent, tracing patterns on the skin of my arm with his thumb.

“I made you sad.” He brushes a kiss against my temple. “That was never my intention. I know I hurt you. I know I left you after I just promised I wouldn’t. But…there’s a lot you don’t understand, Babygirl. If people know exactly how much you mean to me…” He trails off, his hand stilling its gentle strokes. “The people surrounding my cell right now are loyal to me and only me. They know the punishment for harming you or even talking about you to other inmates. But some of the shifters? They don’t have the same restraint as my men do. They’ll hurt you to hurt me. Do you understand?”

I roll over, resting my chin on his chest. His hands, rough and calloused, numerous scars zigzagging throughout, immediately cup both of my cheeks.

“You’re talking about your…errr…gang?” I ask, point blank. When he’s stunned into silence, I turn my head to kiss one palm and then the other. “I’m not completely stupid, Kai. You’re Blade, aren’t you? The man who runs this prison?”

I’m not completely oblivious to the duality of Kai’s nature. Light and dark. He’s two sides of the same coin. He’s the moon and the sun, constantly chasing one another but never capturing. But unfortunately, the moon and the sun aren’t normally visible at the same time.

Other times, however, the sun can be a brilliant swatch of color in the cerulean blue sky, and hanging below it, a dim shade of white, is the moon. Existing side by side in relative harmony.

“There’s a lot of evil in this world,” I begin when he doesn’t immediately respond. “Especially here. I knew when I arrived that I might not survive this.” His arms tighten around me, and a growl reverberates through his chest. His heart rate increases with each passing second, the thump thump thump almost comforting. “There’s some, like you and your friends, who embrace their darkness. They wield it like a weapon. They don’t pretend to be one thing and then act another way. And then there’s some who are immensely more dangerous—those who are willfully ignorant. They may not actively seek to hurt others or inflict pain, but they’re aware of everything that is going on and do nothing to stop it. The judge. The warden. My lawyer. They knew what would happen to me, a young, blind female, and yet they saw it as their only option. Their self-preservation and self-interest overruled their sense of righteousness and justice. It’s a subtler evil. Maybe that’s what makes it insidious…because it’s unintentional, not because the people have malevolent aspirations.”

I trail off at Kai’s sharp intake of breath. The cells in the immediate vicinity have quieted down as well, almost as if they were entranced by my passionate speech. Heat rushes to my cheeks at all that I said—words I hadn’t intended to speak out loud.

“When did you get so wise?” Kai asks breathlessly. His lips seem to be hovering an inch from my own. Each word sends a gust of wind against my parted lips, and tingles erupt on my skin.

“I was in that Compound for a long time,” I say solemnly. “Kai…” Hand trembling, I trace a pattern on his chest where his shirt dips down. “Do you consider yourself evil?”

He blows out a breath, the air stirring the loose tendrils of hair cascading down my cheeks. “That’s a loaded question, Babygirl.”

“Do you hurt people?” I continue sketching patterns into his skin, awaiting his answer with shaky breath.

When he speaks, his voice is a hushed murmur, nearly inaudible over the pounding of our combined hearts. “Only bad ones.”

“So, if you hurt someone evil, someone who hurts others, does that make you evil? Are there guidelines for what defines evil and what doesn’t? If you kill one person who killed twenty others, does that make your act justifiable? Is it an act of evil or an act of goodwill?” I settle my head down once more in the crook of his neck.

“I don’t have the answer to that,” he whispers. Silence descends between us, but it’s not uncomfortable. If anything, the quiet, combined with his gentle hands on my arm, is almost soothing. “Do you hate me?”

“Never,” I reply adamantly. “I don’t think you’re evil, Kai. I think you do things that some may perceive as bad, but I don’t think you’re evil. You’re my best friend. My savior.”

He shudders underneath me, burying his face in my hair. “Sometimes, I think my choices and transgressions are piling up on me, like dirt engulfing a coffin.”

His confession shakes me. I didn’t realize he felt so strongly about the things he’s done. But I wasn’t lying when I said he is still inherently good. The man who sang me to sleep at night, read me stories, and held me so tenderly in his arms cannot possibly be bad. It just isn’t comprehensible. I know our time apart might have changed him, but being in his arms once again only fortifies my resolve. Kai is good.

“Kai?” I ask, before I can lose my nerve. “There are a lot of females here. Have you ever…?”

God, I don’t even know what I’m asking. My skin is suddenly crawling. The tension in the room is so thick, I’m gagging on it.

“No,” Kai says immediately. “Never. There’s only one girl for me.” His voice is suddenly right next to my face.

What would it feel like to kiss him? To capture that full bottom lip with my own? Will he taste as he sweet as he smells? Would he even want me to kiss him?

I haven’t kissed a boy. Ever. I have imagined it tons of times, all my fantasies featuring Kai, but we haven’t ever taken that step. Does he feel the same way about me as I do him? His words make me think he does.

Just one kiss…

Banging on the metal cell bars startle us apart. Well, it startles me. Kai doesn’t even flinch.

“What?” he snaps scathingly. A low growl is the only response. “Bronson, what the hell is the matter with you?”

Before I can ask what he’s going on about, the bed dips with someone’s heavy weight, and a snout pushes against my hand. Immediately, I slide into Kai’s head and survey the creature resting on the bed with us.

It’s…an animal.

But not any animal I have ever seen before. Unnaturally large with red piercing eyes, black fur, and sharp teeth, the creature seems to be plucked straight out of a horror novel.

“What is it?” I whisper to Kai as the animal whines, demanding to be pet.

Kai grumbles beneath his breath before saying, “It’s a wolf.”

“A wolf? Like Little Red Riding Hood?” I ask, recalling one of the stories Kai used to tell me. A little girl who wore a red cloak traveled into the woods to see her grandmother. While she was there, she discovered a big bad wolf was impersonating the old woman (though how anyone would be stupid enough to fall for that ruse is beyond me). And then, a handsome huntsman named Kai stormed in, killed the wolf, and saved the girl. Her name, of course, was Nina. They fell in love and lived happily ever after.

“As long as I get to kill it,” Kai mutters, no doubt remembering the same story as me.

“He’s adorable.” I scratch him behind his ears as he licks my face. Giggling, I fall back onto the bed, and the wolf plops between my legs, his head resting on my stomach.

“He’s Bronson,” Kai hisses through clenched teeth.

“Bronson?” My mind recalls images of the strange man I had semi-met. Large and muscular, with a shock of blond, tousled hair. This wolf is…Bronson?

How can that be possible?

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, Kai elaborates. “He’s a werewolf. Well, a shadow wolf, to be precise.”

Despite knowing that this monster—wolf—is actually a human male, I don’t stop petting him. Something inside of him calls to me, something I can’t name or understand. His large, unbelievably sharp teeth may be inches from my face, but I know innately that he will never harm me.

Don’t ask me how or why.

“What’s a shadow wolf?”

“It’s like a werewolf,” Kai begins reluctantly. He seems furious that Bronson interrupted our private moment, but he also won’t do anything to make me unhappy. “Only, he was born as a hideous beast, instead of being bitten or scratched to turn into one.”

“I wouldn’t say hideous…” I murmur, feeling indignant on Bronson’s behalf. The wolf yips happily and playfully bites my finger.

“Most werewolves can only shift during the full moon, but shadow wolves are different. They’re stronger, faster, and smarter than the average wolf. They still retain their human brain when they shift forms, unlike the average werewolf. But instead of relying on the full moon, a shadow wolf is able to shift at will—sort of like shifters—but only in the shadows.”

“Shifters are real?” I query, attempting to wrap my head around all of this.

“Shifters are born into their powers, unlike werewolves. They, too, can shift at will, but unlike shadow wolves, they have no restrictions. Most of them have a large form and a small form, as well as their human one.” He pauses, shifting in the bed to make himself more comfortable. “But we don’t talk about them. They’re not…our friends.” His ominous words cause goose bumps to pebble on my skin. “Now, sleep. You’re exhausted.”

“Can Bronson stay?” I whisper. I feel protected with the giant wolf watching over me. Comforted. Safe.

Kai growls. “You know I can’t say no to you. But…” His next statement is directed at the panting wolf. “If you pee on my leg, I’m cutting you up and eating you.”

I giggle at his threat, swatting at his arm. “No, you wouldn’t.”

“Don’t test me.”

Still laughing, I cuddle into Kai’s side, and he slides an arm under my neck. In the heated cocoon of muscular bodies, sleep comes easily.