33. Sloane

CHAPTER 33

SLOANE

C am’s gone and I miss him so much it hurts.

I miss talking to him, laughing with him.

Miss the way he smells after a shower, his smile when he rolls over and sees me first thing in the morning. Like he’s pleasantly surprised to find me there.

Miss the taste of him on my lips, the touch of his hands on my skin, the way he takes me up to the highest peak and then falls over the edge with me, crashing together.

The day he leaves, Gracelyn and I hit up the Burger Basket, but all I can think about is the night Cam and I came here after the bonfire. How much fun we had together and how I wish he was with me now.

At work, a kid says something funny and my first reaction is to pick up my phone and text Cam.

But then I text Gracelyn instead. Because Cam’s busy at practice and I know how badly he wants—needs—this job.

After one full day of mooning about, I can’t take it any longer. I throw myself into my own life with abandon—anything to avoid the misery that is missing Cam .

I pick up extra shifts at the library, add bonus story times to the calendar, and hang out with Gracelyn every free second she has. I keep myself occupied and spend a lot of time watching ESPN with my dad.

Nights are the toughest. There are no people, no activities to distract me.

In the quiet stillness, I lay in my bedroom staring at the ceiling and wonder what Cam’s doing.

He’s so busy, we hardly get a chance to talk. Every morning he texts me on the way to practice, but the messages are short. He’s in the zone and I know how critical that is for him right now.

Still, there are a million things I want to ask him.

How’s Fort Lauderdale? Have you seen the beach?

How’s the team? Did you make any friends yet?

What’s the coach like?

But most of all— do you think you’ll make the team? Are you leaving Thunder Creek for good?

That’s the real question hovering on my lips every time we do get a chance to talk. But I don’t say it, don’t bring up the future and all the different scenarios.

Because a part of me doesn’t want to know. I’m too afraid he’ll say it’s over. It was good while it lasted, but he’s moving on.

Without me.

I should trust what he says and not worry. But the warning bell in my head—the same one I silenced with Ratface—is dinging. And that sound gets a little louder each day Cam’s away.

Buzz, buzz.

My hand flies to the nightstand and I fumble around for my cell. The room’s pitch dark, so it must be late.

The screen lights up with Cam’s face, a cute pic of us on the dock at sunset. An ache throbs in my chest as I tap the phone.

“Hello?” My voice is low and scratchy from being alone in the quiet.

“Did I wake you?” Cam’s deep voice tickles my ear and hot desire rushes through me, every inch of me burning for him.

“No. I’m not sleeping yet.”

“How are you?”

“Lonely. I miss you.”

“Aww, me too, Trouble. Only a couple more days, though, and I should be back.”

“Really?” I pull at a loose thread on my pj’s, feeling a little lighter.

“That’s what it’s looking like. Can’t say for sure, but that seems like the plan. I think Coach is gonna make me an offer.”

“That’s great.” I force enthusiasm into my voice, knowing that an offer’s the best thing for Cam. Football’s his life.

“How do you feel about Florida?”

The back of my neck prickles and I sit up in bed. “What?”

“Florida. How do you feel about it?”

“What do you mean? Like, the beaches? Disney World? What are we talking about here?”

“Fort Lauderdale. Moving here. With me.”

I suck in a breath, my heart pounding into hyperdrive. “You want me to move to Florida with you?”

“I mean, yeah. If you want to. There are a few logistics to work out when I get the contract and we’d have to find a place?—”

A place. Singular .

Cam wants me to move in with him.

Every nerve in my body hums to life and I feel lighter than I have in days. “Yes! But I wouldn’t have a job right away, I’d need to find one. Doubt my dad will be too thrilled about that…”

“You wouldn’t need a job, not unless you want one. I make enough for both of us.”

“Oh, right.”

I do low-key love my job at the library. But I love Cam more.

“You don’t have to decide anything right now. I didn’t get offered a contract yet. But I wanted to float the idea out there.”

“I love the idea.”

Be careful, Sloane.

Those darn warning bells again, clanging. Always clanging.

Is this how I’m going to operate from now on? Because I hate feeling this way, torn and indecisive when I should be ecstatic.

“Good. Because I really miss you. I want to be together all the time. I want you at all my games, want you there in the morning when I wake up, want you there at night, riding my hard cock—” His voice turns husky and my body responds, chill bumps rising on my skin.

“I want that too, Cam.”

“Good. I miss you so much, baby.”

“Me too.”

Beep, beep.

Cam has another call.

“Sloane, I’m sorry, but I gotta take this. It’s Troy. Want me to call you back? ”

“No, it’s late. You need to get some sleep so you can be ready for practice tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

With that, he disconnects and I toss the cell down on the sheets.

I should be happy right now. The man I love asked me to move in with him, take the next very serious, very real step in our relationship.

Too bad all I hear is Negative Nancy, cautioning me.

You’re doing the same thing you did with Ratface—and look how that turned out.

But Cam isn’t Ratface.

He’s not a lying, cheating, narcissist, roaming around in search of his next conquest. I’m not disposable to Cam. What we have is real and pure.

Deep down, I know he’s different.

Doesn’t stop me from worrying, though.

A million what-ifs race through my head:

What if I hate Florida?

What if Cam changes his mind? About me? About us?

What if my dad’s right about love and people don’t stay?

This last thought’s the most depressing of all.

But it can’t be true.

Cam loves me and I know that, feel it every time we talk, touch, kiss. Feel it when he sends me a funny meme, or lets me pick the movie even though I’m sure it’s not what he would choose.

This is good.

Everything is great and I’m making the right choice.

“Alexa, play ocean waves.” The sound of waves fills my bedroom and I close my eyes, picturing Cam and me walking the white, sandy beach down in Fort Lauderdale.

Finally, I drift off to sleep.