16. Cam

CHAPTER 16

CAM

I shouldn’t be doing this.

Kissing Sloane in her childhood bedroom while Coach is asleep on the other side of the house.

It’s wrong on so many levels.

Yet everything about her mouth touching mine feels so, so right.

Like she was made for me. Our lips, our hands, our bodies fit perfectly together.

The dull ache in the pit of my stomach that’s been dogging me since I got axed from the team is gone, replaced with hot, burning desire.

I’m alive again.

Skin soft and smooth against my rough palms as I trace my thumb along her cheek, her shuddery exhalation vibrates my hand. She tastes sweet, like vanilla lip balm, as I lick along the seam of her full lips. Another breathy exhale and I float away on the quiet sound, getting lost in the moment .

Lost in her.

She opens her mouth to me and I dip in, my tongue seeking hers. Swirling round and round, exploring. Sloane’s delicious and I’m a starving man, so damn hungry.

“Cam—” she murmurs, her delicate fingers twining in my hair. A shiver dances across the nape of my neck at her touch and every muscle flexes as her fingertips skip across my skin. My hand slides down to her lower back and I pull her across the bed, closer to me. Heat shimmers between us.

I want her.

I want to lay her down—right here, right now—and make her mine.

“Sloane—” Her name comes out half plea, half moan as I ease away from her supple body. For a long second, I wrestle with myself. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Hurt flashes across her face, but she doesn’t move away, her arms still resting on my shoulders, hands wrapped behind my head.

“Why not?” Her bottom lip thrusts out in a pout and I’m rock hard for her, every single muscle in my body ready to go. I’d love nothing more than to kiss the disappointment right off her face, strip her out of those silky pj’s, caress every inch of her skin until she’s panting my name.

Using every ounce of self-restraint I possess, I somehow tamp all of that down.

“Because your dad’s my coach. Because I’m living rent-free in his house.” I run a hand through my damp hair, sighing as I crash back down to reality. “Because we’re friends and I’d like to keep it that way. ”

Tipping her head, dark waves flow over her shoulder and her eyes sparkle in the dim lamp light.

“We could be friends with benefits?” She teases the idea, but I shake my head ‘no.’

“I can’t do that with you.”

She blushes, her cheeks turning pink. “Why not?”

“Because you mean too much to me.”

Her eyes narrow as she winces and I know I’m fumbling this entire thing.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” Her voice trails off and she glances away. “I was dumb to think there was more to this, more to us.”

Reflexively, I reach out and tip her chin up, forcing her to meet my gaze. “You’re not dumb, Sloane. And I meant what I said. You. Matter. To. Me.” I emphasize each word, each syllable, willing her to understand just how much I mean this.

Tears shimmer in her eyes, those gold flecks glittering, and my chest squeezes tight.

“Don’t.” I run my thumb along her lash line, swiping away the offending moisture. She’s so beautiful, her cheeks flushed a soft shade of pink.

Too beautiful. Too perfect.

Too vulnerable.

I shouldn’t be here.

“I’m sorry, Sloane.”

I take one last, longing look at her, memorizing every plane, every angle of her face. Wishing we could be more. Wanting to be more. But deep down, knowing I’m not the one for her.

Standing, I bend down and press my lips to the top of her head, breathing her in. All her goodness, her sweetness. Letting her scent wind around me and squeeze all the air from my lungs.

I only want her air, her breath. But I know we’re not meant to be.

After a long moment, I force my legs to move. I need to get out of this bedroom. Away from temptation. Away from her.

“Do you ever check your email?” Her quiet voice rings through the room and I freeze in the doorway.

“What?” I glance back over my shoulder.

“Your team email. Do you ever check it?”

“Every once in a while. But not often. Why?”

“It’s nothing. Forget I mentioned it.”

“Oh-kay—” I frown, confused.

“Night, Cam.”

Then she clicks the light off, leaving us both in the dark. I fumble my way out of her bedroom and down the hall to my own, shutting the door behind me. Knowing full well I may have just made another huge mistake. Possibly one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

I crash onto the bed, not even bothering to take off my clothes, and stare up at the popcorn ceiling.

What was Sloane talking about, that business about my team email?

Her melodic voice echoes in my head, over and over, and I’m wide awake. Snagging my phone from the nightstand, I tap the screen and click until I’m inside my team email. I’m surprised I still have access, but there may be some HR bullshit I still need to take care of.

Seems like I haven’t checked my email in a while, judging by the 5,702 messages. Oops.

I stop scrolling when I spy a message from Sloane. Clicking on the email, I hold my breath and read. Stopping, re-reading.

Sloane thinks I’m funny. And cool. And apparently hot.

And she’s always had feelings for me.

Feelings I just exploited a few minutes ago.

With a shaky inhale, I force myself to keep reading, guilt edging in.

Sloane wanted to kiss me. Dreamed of it, in fact.

She doesn’t want to live with regrets.

She put herself out there. Mustered up the courage to be authentic, be real.

She took a huge risk, a gamble, and here I am hiding out in the spare bedroom. Running away from my feelings, avoiding her because what exists between us is special and I’m scared as hell to ruin it.

Sloane Carter missed me.

And she signed off with love.

It’s that last line that hits home. A strong force bubbles up inside me, pulling me out of bed and back down the hall.

I burst into her room and she sits up, startled.

“Cam?”

The room’s dark, only a sliver of white moonlight shining through the blinds, outlining her silhouette. I cross to her bed, dropping down to my knees so we’re face to face.

“I’m an idiot.” I brush her cheek with my knuckles and she rests her face against my hand. “I shouldn’t have run out on you like that and I’m sorry.” My voice comes out strained and gravelly, but I push ahead.

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, screw things up between us. I care about you, Sloane. A lot more than you know.” Breath hitches in my throat, my chest tight .

She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she cups my face, her delicate fingers feathering over my jaw. She touches her lips to mine and I kiss her back with everything I have, swelling with happiness.

This feels right. We feel right.

Maybe, just maybe, life is starting to turn around.