22. Twenty two

Two days have passed since I sent that note flying through the window. It was the only way I could get Miguel"s men away from the fountain. I wanted to get a look at my beautiful princesa while I hid his gift in the tree. Once all the men guarding the back rushed to see where the noise came from, I ran to the place where I touched Mateo for the first time.

Tonight I wait for Mateo to get away from his prison. I"m sitting in my car, parked down the road for a long time, hoping no one has noticed. The trees are bare of any leaves and the sky is gray and foggy when I glance out the window. I spot someone walking through the large iron gate. Someone with a thick coat on, lowering his head between his shoulders. As he gets farther away from the house, his curly brown hair blowing in the wind is more apparent and it can be only one person. Mateo.

He is walking across the road and down the narrow sidewalk, following a line of trees. I wait until he is further down the road to follow him. He walks faster, hurrying down a rock path, passing a swing set and heading toward an empty field.

My little princesa is going for a stroll in the park. The path he follows leads to a trail. I park my car and get out, attempting to catch up to him. He runs faster and I pick up my pace. His laughter tells me he knows it"s me and this is all part of some little game. "Where are you going? A pretty little thing should know better than to run from the big bad wolf."

"Because…" I jump between two trees, following the crunching leaves and snickering. "I always...catch…" staying light on my feet, sneaking up behind him. "My prey!" I grab him by the waist and press him against the tree. His breath quickens and I lick along the shell of his ear. "Hola, sweetness. Did you miss me?"

He pants in between words, slipping his jacket off his shoulders. "I...did...I got your gift."

"Did you? I guess we better check how well you follow directions."

I slide my fingers down the back of his pants, immediately coming in contact with the skin of his fleshy globes. I flick the strap of his underwear against his lower back and he moans.

"So beautiful." He whimpers and squirms when I slip my hand beneath the back of his pants, coming into contact with soft lace.

I smile, knowing he followed directions when my fingers slip between his cheeks, finding the plug sinking deeper into his hole at the press of my fingers. "Ohhh…" He shudders, trembling from my touch. "Someone followed instructions. How long has this been inside you?"

More whines spew from his lips when I twist the toy around inside his hole. "Off and on all day."

His skin is salty and sweet when I flick my tongue over the clavicle of his neck. "Did you play with yourself today?"

He shakes his head, and more frustration erupts from his body. He wiggles his ass against my fingers, begging my hand to move against the plug. "No. Only to open myself up to get the plug in."

"Did you want to?"

"Ye...yes," he sputters.

"Why didn"t you?"

"Because you told me not to?" His voice waivers.

"Why did you listen?"

"Because…" He takes a breath. "You are the musician and I am your instrument, and only you are allowed to make me sing."

"That"s right." I tug off his shirt and go back to playing with his ass while I untie the ribbons hanging off the bottom of his corset.

He shudders as I move the plug in and out, rubbing it against his sweet spot. "Oh, god…"

"The only person"s name you should be saying is mine," I whisper against his ear, loosening the corset enough for it to fall around his waist. I"ve never touched him below his chest before. He hasn"t let me. What"s he hiding? Will he let me see tonight?

"Oh, Gabriel, please."

"Please, what?"

"I don"t...I...ohhhh."

I spin him around, slamming his back against the tree, and his head falls against the rough bark, eyes half lidded. My gaze shifts from the bulging veins in his neck to the pink lines covering his stomach. The carved words have my throat going dry.

I remember those same words coming from a vile man"s throat many years ago as he spat them, before carving them into a young boy"s stomach. Bile threatens to run up my throat and I swallow hard, tracing my fingers on the scarred letters. Mateo's stomach contracts and he flinches at my touch with his eyes flying open, as if he hadn"t realized the top part of his body had been uncovered. He shuffles his hands in front of his stomach. "Where is my corset?"

"Shh...it"s okay, baby. You"re okay. I got you."

Ahh, so this is why he always wears it. At least one of the reasons. "Where is it?" He searches around him frantically, not letting his hands break from his stomach. His gaze falls to his waist and he covers himself up, holding the corset in place as he struggles to tighten the back with shaking hands. I try to help and he shoves me away.

"I wish you"d at least let me help you." I hold his shirt out to him, and he snatches it from my hands. "I have to go now."

"How about you calm down first and talk to me instead?"

"What"s there to talk about?" he barks out.

"Why did you pull away?"

"You weren"t supposed to see them. You weren"t supposed to take it off. Why did you take it off?" His voice shakes and he wipes his eyes.

"I wanted to see you, all of you." I step closer and he shoves me away, stepping under the moonlight. The scars stand out more but it doesn"t change my view of him. He"s still the most beautiful thing I"ve ever seen. Even more so with the added imperfections. Pretty things also have their flaws and it makes them more unique. I"m as transfixed on him as before.

"How about now?"

"I still do. My mind hasn"t changed. I think you"re beautiful. I have scars too, remember? I showed you them. I"ll do it again if you need me to."

"I have a feeling you"re the type of guy used to telling people what they want to hear."

"Normally, yes, but with you, I find myself only wanting to tell the truth and it"s getting dangerous."

"Then tell me who you really are," he demands in a low voice.

"Why does that matter now?"

"It always mattered," he croaks out. "How do you know my father and were you sent to kill me all along? That"s right, I know about you being a hitman, so don"t bother denying it. The blood on you in the shower. The guns you had in your house. The man you killed for me. You have the same look in your eyes my dad has, too. The one of a killer."

"I was there that day, you know." I grab onto his hand and he doesn"t pull away. "I was the one who shot a gun through the window, hitting that guy in the back of the head. He was my first kill, and I knew right then, he wouldn"t be the last. After seeing him hurt a child, I knew I wanted to go after all monsters like him. That"s what Santiago Morales is, a monster. I"ve been after him for years, but he is never alone, and it was never the right moment."

"What do you mean you were there that day?" His brow furrows. "And what man are you talking about?"

"I think you know. I didn"t know it was you. I thought you were just some boy off the streets they were tormenting for information. Turns out they were there to use you as a way to send a message to your father."

His mouth gapes and his eyes widen. "You were the boy in the window that day. You stared at me after the man fell to the ground. You were the last person I saw before everything went black. I used to dream of you."

I gently stroke the skin of his wrist. "And I used to wonder what happened to the boy whose life I saved. I wondered everyday if what I did made a difference, or if you just ended up back in the same situation, under a different man"s knife."

"And here I am, walking right into the arms of a man with a gun."

"Yeah. Kinda funny how life works out, huh?"

"Wait." He presses a hand to my chest when I try to close the small gap between us. "So you have only been using me to get to Santiago?"

I shake my head, running my fingers through his hair. "No, I have been using you to get to your father. Santiago is a bonus."

His face contorts. "Why my father?"

"A lot of people want him dead. Why is that such a surprise?"

"You aren"t anything like those other people. Your motives are different," he says, looking away from me.

"How do you know?"

"Lucky guess." His shoulders lift and he"s on guard, attempting to match my height.

Taking a deep breath, I run a shaky hand through my hair. "When I was only ten years old, your father took everything away from me."

"My father takes things from a lot of people and it was my grandfather doing the taking before him."

"He destroyed my family, our home. He left us with nearly nothing. I was too small and helpless at the time, but I"m not now. I had to watch my family burn. I wanted him to witness his whole world erupt into flames the way I did."

"So, you came after me because you thought I was helpless?"

I shake my head. "You are a lot of things, sweetness, but helpless isn"t one of them."

"Don"t call me that." He backs away from my touch, sneering in my direction. "In fact, never call me that, or the other little nickname you have for me again. Never contact me, stay away from my family, and stay away from me."

"Or what?"

"Or I"ll be the one to take everything you have left, and it will no longer be my father you have to worry about."

I laugh. "Now is not the time for jokes, Mateo."

"Jokes? That"s all I"ve been to you this whole time, a joke, haven't I? Well, let me leave you to laugh alone."

I reach for his arm and he slaps my hand away. "Don"t touch me. I should have never let you to begin with. This whole time you thought I didn"t know, but I did. I knew you couldn"t really want me. After all, who would want some fucking sheltered princess," he spits. He turns away and I don"t reach for him again, no matter how much it kills me. I want to tell him I do want him. I wanted him from the moment I laid eyes on him, from the moment I slipped my coat over his shoulders. But I don"t because I"m the weak one here, not him. I"ve fought against my feelings for him for weeks, shoving them down in a place of my mind and locking them away. "Mateo...wait!"

He spins around mid-walk. "What? What do you want? You want your revenge? Well, I"m right here, come get it. What has taken you so damn long, huh?"

"I wanted to hurt you before but I can"t do it anymore. I never planned to kill you though. I never planned to fall for you either but here we are." I let out a nervous chuckle. "This will stay between your father and me from here on out. I promise. You begged me not to walk away from you before. Please don"t walk away from me now."

"It"s too late for that. You dragged me into this and it"s bigger than you two now."

"Mateo…"

"You destroyed me like you wanted. Mission accomplished. Now we both get to live with the outcome. Bye, Gabriel." He kisses me long and hard, breathing me in one last time before grabbing his jacket and storming off.

I don"t stop him. My gaze follows him until he disappears into the dark night. I stand there like the helpless man I am, watching the one good thing in my life walk away from me forever. Before I thought I had lost everything. It turns out I was wrong. On the other hand, I guess you can"t lose something you never truly allowed yourself to have to begin with.