1. One

Real golden flakes sink to the bottom of my glass of champagne as I lift it to my lips. I don't understand why flashy people like my family have the need to celebrate with drinks containing floating choking hazards in them, but at least this way if it gets caught in your throat people will know you died with class.

I scoff, taking another drink of champagne that costs more than my engagement ring. People are spinning each other around on the dance floor, laughing and smiling. I feel so out of place. I don"t want to be here while everyone else appears to never want to leave. The wall behind me holds the weight of my body as I slump my shoulders against it, wishing I was somewhere else. Anywhere outside this house where the air isn"t so suffocating.

"There you are, Mateo. Your mother said you were around here somewhere," my fiancé, Santiago says, his expression hard.

"And somewhere I was. It looks like you"ve found me," I reply, refraining from rolling my eyes.

"I thought maybe I could steal you for a dance." Santiago holds his hand out in front of him, his hair so heavy with gel, it gleams under the chandelier lights. Pressed lines run down the inseams of his expensive dress slacks, floating a little too high above his shiny black loafers. His lips spread into a wide grin, highlighting his defined cheekbones.

His smile always makes me feel uneasy, unsettling my stomach and causing my skin to crawl. Everything about Santiago is unwelcoming. Yet here I am, staring into the cold eyes of the man I will soon be spending the rest of my life with. His ring lays heavy on my finger, always making me feel as if I am sinking below the surface into my own personal hell. It"s not a declaration of love, more like a proof of ownership.

Santiago wasn"t my preferred choice for a husband, but he was my parent"s first one. The only one I was given, because in this life, you do what is best for la familia. My lips stretch into a smile, making my cheeks ache from the forced action. "I don"t really think I"m stable enough on my feet right this minute. Too much champagne. Raincheck?"

He flattens his tie, straightening his posture to make himself appear taller. "You know, it"s rude to turn down a dance from your future husband. You don"t want to be rude, do you, Mateo?"

His lips hang on to my name for too long between clenched teeth, leaving an uncomfortable shift in my stomach. I'm not sure if the bubbles rising up my throat are from the drink, or the acid taste in my mouth as I say the words he wants to hear. "You"re right, I"m sorry. One dance should be fine." After all, we"ll be married soon and I"ll have to do much worse than spin around the dance floor with him. My stomach churns. The longer I can get away with not having him touching me under my clothes, the better. The very thought has me wanting to peel my skin off.

Many times I"ve considered sneaking away to a club no one would recognize me at, and hooking up with a sexy stranger to ensure Santiago wouldn"t be the first man to ever have me in that way. It was something small I had control of. As he stripped my clothes off on our wedding night, I"d smile knowing taking my virginity was one triumph he could never have because I already gave it to someone of my own choosing. Tomorrow night might be the day I allow my little idea to win me over. Tonight I"ll keep smiling and pretending to be everything everyone needs me to be–happy to be celebrating a marriage I"ll never want.

I am caught in the alcove of his armpit as he swings his arm around me. There's a sting from his fingernails digging into my shoulder possessively. A man like Santiago always enjoys showing off his things, his life possessions. I know that"s all I am to him. Nothing but a shiny new toy for him to play with and toss aside when he gets bored. Men like him always do. This dance is his opportunity to prove his power over me, letting me know that yes was the only answer I"ll ever give him.

"You should smile more, mi amor. After all, this is the celebration of our families coming together."

A celebration? It feels more like my wake. My body spins at the twirl of his hand, and I feel heavy on my feet. The overly warm room has my clothes sticking to my heated body. "I think I need some fresh air, it"s a bit warm in here," I say during the last few beats of the song.

His face goes blank, making it impossible to read. I"m already missing his scowl, at least then his feelings are obvious, and I know what to prepare for. He presses his stiff lips to my forehead, moving them near my ear. "Just don"t go too far. Don"t make me have to come find you."

His grip loosens on my shoulder and my body relaxes at the loss of his hand. "I"ll just be right outside, Santiago. I"m sure you can survive without me for a few minutes."

The grin that sends unsettling chills down my spine is back. "Of course, but it never is just a few minutes with you. Is it, Mateo?"

He steps back and I can already breathe easier. "Well, off you go to get that fresh air you"re needing so badly. I"ll just keep our guests entertained myself, while you wander off somewhere. Don"t be too long. Remember, these people are here for us. Apúrate."

How could I forget when he and my parents are constantly reminding me? Along with all the people who stop me as I make my way outside. "Oh Mateo, congrats on your engagement. You and Santiago are the perfect couple." My cousin Lena presses her hand to her chest, pretending to be the endearing person we both know she isn"t. I keep walking, avoiding any further interaction with her and everyone else. None of these people are here for me. They are all here to kiss my father"s ass while hoping to gain something from it. Good luck.

I"ve been doing everything I can to please him all my life and look where it"s got me. I push my way through the glass doors, immediately wrapping my arms around my body as I step onto the back patio. The frigid air is already harsh on my cheeks, and my lungs burn from breathing in too quickly. I tighten the thin fabric of my coat around my body as if it will make a difference.

"It"s a cold night. Those clothes aren"t very winter appropriate. I guess wearing a jacket is beneath you? You Juventinos always have to come off as untouchable, don"t you?"

The silky-smooth voice has me turning my head to a tall man looking over me, tugging at the red scarf around his neck. As he steps further into the light, his honey-gold laced brown eyes are revealed. His thick lips sit below his perfectly carved nose, complimented by his sharp jaw covered in dark scruff. He is a walking wet dream.

My body goes still when his eyes bore into mine, as if they are peering deep into my soul. My shivering hands slip into the pockets of my tailored blue suit, as I loosen my throat to speak. "Are you a guest at the party? I"ve never seen you before. Are you a friend of Santiago's?"

The alluring stranger"s jaw tightens at the mention of my fiancé's name, which tells me he definitely knows him, but is no friend. "I am here for something, but it's not the party. I wasn"t exactly invited, and no, I don"t know anyone by that name."

Bullshit. I dig my fingers deeper into the fabric of my pockets, tilting my head. "You aren"t a very good liar. And if you weren"t invited, then why are you here?"

His eyes grow dark, pinning me in place. "I"m here for you, Mateo."

My heart speeds up in my chest. "Me?" I glance around the open space as if there is another Mateo nearby.

"Yes, you." His lips shift into a malicious smile and he removes his jacket, wrapping it around my stiff shoulders. Our faces are so close I can feel his warm breath against my skin, strong with cinnamon. It causes the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.

"What do you mean, you"re here for me?"

His words hang at the tip of his tongue, never making it past his mouth when a woman's voice comes from behind us. "Mateo, there you are! Your father asked for me to come get you. He is making a very important toast."

My eyes meet my mother"s green ones, as she tucks her long flowing hair behind her ear. "You should come inside anyway; you"ll catch your death in this cold."

I shake my head. "I doubt I"ll be that lucky. I"ll be right in, just let me say goodbye to my new friend first."

She peers around my shoulder, her pale green eyes widening. "What friend? Looks like whoever it was is already gone. Now come, before your father grows more impatient."

Oh no, we don"t want that. I turn around with the stranger"s coat moving against my shoulders, and sure enough, there"s no one there. All I'm left with is the sharp, masculine scent from his jacket, mixed with a hint of peppermint. The one thing proving this wasn't all in my head. He was real. His presence was both terrifying and intriguing. I couldn't decide if I should run away or lean closer. He was nothing like the other guests here. A plain black V-neck sat under his dress coat and he wore a pair of dark blue jeans, along with black Adidas. No, he didn"t fit in with the rest of us and that made me want to be around him more.

I walk back inside, the heavy jacket sagging over my slender body.

"There you are, mi amor. Where did that jacket come from? It"s like two sizes too big. Let me help you get it off." I clasp tightly onto the jacket, preventing Santiago from tugging it off my body. "I can take off my own jacket, thank you. I"ll just go hang it in the coat closet. I won"t be long."

"That"s what you always say, until you disappear again. Be true to your word this time, or I"ll come find you myself and trust me,mi amor, you don"t want that." His nose flares as his eyes darken. I hate the way his hand tightens around my arm, holding me in place.

Swallowing hard, I tug my arm away. "That won"t be necessary." I hate him. His scent, the sound of his voice cutting into my ears like glass every time he speaks and the way his touches always leave me cold.

I hurry off to the stairwell, and when he"s out of sight, I rush up the steps to my room, making sure my feet are light against the marble, afraid to draw attention to myself. I slide off the jacket, and something light hits the wood beside my feet. It"s a white rose. Bending down, I grab it from the floor and bring it close to my face. The strong, sweet scent tickles my nose. Flashbacks of running through the garden when I was younger enter my mind.

I"m clipping a few flowers wanting to surprise momma with a beautiful bouquet to stop her from crying. She"s been sad for a while now and stays up late, watching the door until my father comes home from work. He"s been coming home later than usual, and I can see her breaking a little more inside every second she waits in that chair. I don"t know what"s happening between them but it scares me sometimes.

Rushing toward the house, I nearly trip on my new shoes on my way inside. Momma hangs up the phone, walking my way. "There you are, hijo. Where have you–" Her eyes widen and she rips the flowers from my hand. She"s angry. Why?

"What have you done to my garden?" her voice is louder than before.

"I picked them for you, Momma."

Her hand lifts and she strikes my cheek, causing my eyes to water. What did I do wrong? I just wanted to give her a gift. I hold my hand to my burning skin. "I"m so-rry. I thought they"d make you smile."

"You thought tearing up my flowers would make me smile? How? Look at the mess you made. They are probably all ruined now." She tosses them in front of my feet, her facing turning bright red. "You"re nothing but a burden to me like your father. Go to your room."

I hadn"t touched a flower since. Not until now. Holding it away from me, I examine it as if expecting something to crawl out and attack me. I twirl it between my fingers, dropping it to the floor when a small thorn at the end pricks my skin. Shit. Shoving my bleeding finger in my mouth, I suck it clean while staring at the flower next to my feet. Even the prettiest things in life can hurt you when you least expect them to.

They were what caught my attention the most. Never can I pass a silk ribbon or an item made with lace without touching it first. Flowers used to be no different. Now I only admire them from a distance. Except this one. I can"t help but feel like this one"s meant for me and me alone. I consider adding it to my other joys I keep hidden from everyone, but maybe I should take the prick as a warning sign and return the rose with the jacket.

Kicking the rose under my bed, I toss the jacket on top, wondering if the man from earlier is still around and looking for it. If it was so important he wouldn"t have taken off without it. Unless he knew he"d see me again before the night was over.

Why was he so quick to leave when my mother showed up? He said he wasn"t invited but not just anyone would have been allowed on my father"s property. Someone let him in. Doesn"t necessarily mean he was supposed to be here. Half the people downstairs probably weren"t. I don"t feel like I am either.

"I"m here for you, Mateo." His words replay in my head and my ears buzz all over again. It was the first time I heard anyone say that tonight. Everyone else was only here for themselves. I"d barely been acknowledged the last few hours, spending most of my time in corners of the house alone. Then a stranger takes me by surprise, making me feel seen for the first time. He was also a very pretty thing my hands itched to touch–one I also wanted to keep hidden for myself.

"Mateo!" a loud, deep voice laced with annoyance calls from below the stairs. The voice that constantly reminds me that my life doesn"t belong to me. I walk toward it, taking a deep breath, wondering how much longer it will be until it"s my last.