Chapter 13

" B luh." Cory pushed away his lunch tray, unsatisfied with the cafeteria's offerings for the day. "Shouldn't have forgotten to pack my lunch today."

"I mean… I got something I can feed ya if you're still hungry," Jackson flirted from across the table.

Cory rolled his eyes but smiled. It had been two months since the fallout with Derek and Nic, and in the interim, he found himself hanging out more and more with Jackson. He wasn't ready to call him his new dom just yet, but it felt like things were headed in that direction with the way they kept fooling around. As it was, Cory was enjoying having his freedom while still having Jackson there to explore the kinky stuff. He had been hornier than ever lately; it was like Derek and Nic flipped a switch that he couldn't flip back.

"Oh, yeah, sir?" Cory flirted back. He was feeling bold. "I dunno. I'm pretty hungry."

"Come with me. I'm sure we can find something to fill that belly." Jackson winked.

Cory wanted to snort at the ridiculous line but stopped when he locked eyes with someone else across the courtyard: Derek, his expression unreadable. That was fine. He didn't care what Derek was thinking or feeling. If anything, he hoped Derek knew what was going on between him and Jackson, if only to rub it in his face.

"Sounds good to me, sir." Cory stood as he spoke. "Lead the way."

Derek watched Cory and Jackson get up from their table across the school courtyard. Derek had seen the two of them together more and more frequently, almost like Cory was making sure he knew. Between the flirty looks and the two of them disappearing together, it wasn't hard to figure out what was going on. Cory had looked right at him just now but said nothing. For a moment, Derek thought about going after him, just to talk, but he thought better of it. Cory had made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with him. Forcing a talk would only make things worse. Still, something about watching the way Cory was running around with this guy rubbed him the wrong way.

"I don't like that guy."

"What guy?" Nic was sitting nearby, engrossed in his phone and not paying attention.

"The dude Cory's running around with now. Jeremy or Jackson or something." Derek remembered vaguely seeing him talking to Cory last semester in the library. He also remembered seeing the guy at the party and a few other places around school. "Something about him just…"

"Dude, who cares?" Nic didn't bother looking up. "Cory can do whatever he wants. He's a free man."

"That's not…" Derek sighed and shook his head. Nic had been distant and aloof since things came to a head in the auditorium. It had become apparent that he was eager to put everything behind him or even pretend none of it had ever happened. It was a struggle to get the guy to talk about anything , let alone what happened with Cory. Derek was surprised he was even at lunch right now. "Never mind."

"Yeah." Nic rolled his eyes, which were otherwise still glued to his phone screen. "Well, I got better shit to do than sit around and talk about Cory. See ya, man." Nic pocketed his phone and grabbed his things, waving a goodbye to Derek before heading off.

"Yeah." Derek sighed again as he watched his other best friend walk away. "See ya."

Nic sighed as he pulled into his usual spot in front of his house. He had managed to beg off seeing that movie with the singing green witch with Amy, but there was almost always something new and terrible she wanted to see. With everything that had been going on, he really just wanted to go home and not think about anything the rest of the night.

"I'm home!" Nic called out as he closed the front door behind him, hanging up his keys and heading straight to his room.

"Nic, mijo !" His dad called out for him from his office. "Quick, come here! I have some great news!"

Nic stopped in his tracks before he entered the hall to his room and turned toward the open door of his dad's office. Now what?

"Hey, Dad," Nic greeted as he entered. "What's up?"

"You'll never believe who called earlier today!" his dad exclaimed in excitement but was clearly hoping for an answer.

"Uh… Abuelita?" Nic played dumb.

"St. Helena University!" Fuck . That was his dad's alma mater. "They called with an offer! They want you to play for them!"

"That's … great, Dad." Nic tried to fake a smile. "What did they—"

"They wanna give you a full ride, mijo!" His dad was already turning around to face his desk, pulling up his web browser. "Look! The campus is still just how I remember it."

Clearly Raphael had been doing some research. Page after page about the school was already pulled up: stuff from the school's own site, news stories about the football team. It looked like he even tried to find a few old bits of info about himself. It was a lot.

"You're gonna love it, Nic," his father barreled forward. "Playing for St. Helena's were some of the best years of my life."

"Yeah, Dad, about that…" Of course he's already made up his mind about where I'm going to go.

"I wonder if the locker rooms are still the same," Raphael reminisced over his son's attempt to speak. "Every home game we had this ritual where we… Well, you find out in few months when you start playing!" He laughed at his own joke.

"Dad, wait—"

"They've made it into the playoffs the last twenty-three seasons!" Raphael wasn't even looking at his son anymore. "And with you on the team, they'll make it all the way to the championships. I can't wait for your first game. I gotta call all my bud—"

"DAD!" Nic shouted, finally getting his father to clam up.

"Nic, what the hell are you yelling for? I'm just—"

"I don't wanna play for your fucking school, Dad!"

"Watch your mouth!" Raph snapped. "I was just excited for you. If you don't wanna play for St. Helena's, there were other calls from—"

" No , Dad." Nic decided to just lay all his cards on the table. "I don't think I want to play football in college at all."

"What are you talking about?" Raphael guffawed. "You love football. You've been playing it since you were—"

"I'm not little anymore, Dad," Nic cut him off, knowing this was coming. "Playing football doesn't feel the same for me anymore."

"So what, you're just quitting?" Raph stood up from his seat. "After everything your mother and I have done? The way we've supported you for years!?"

"Everything you've done!?" Oh good, now they were both yelling. "Of course you somehow find a way to make this about you ."

"Well, you're acting like an idiot! You're throwing away everything you've worked for!"

"No, Dad, I'm not!" Nic stood his ground. "Say I play football in college, then what? I go pro and destroy my body and brain? Go broke by the time I'm forty, driving around the country giving speeches for cash? That's not the kind of life I want."

"So then what the hell do you think you—"

" Nicolas. Raphael. " Nic and his father turn to see Nic's mother, Luciana, standing in the doorway. "What are you yelling about? I can hear you across the house."

"I was just trying to tell Dad—"

"Lucy, he's talking crazy—"

Luciana raised her hand in a silent order for both men to quiet once more. "Go to your room, Nicolas."

"But Mom—"

" Now ." Luciana didn't even look at Nic, only glared daggers at her husband.

" Si, mama ." Nic knew enough not to argue with her when she was angry.

Stopping himself before he gave his father one last look of annoyance—pissing his mom off wasn't going to do him any favors—he left the room in a huff. He stormed through the living room, ignoring his sisters who were trying very hard to look like they weren't listening to the copious amounts of muffled Spanish curses coming from Dad's office, and went to his room, slamming the door behind him as he sat on his bed. After sitting still for only a moment, the irritation of what had just happened all caught up to him at once, and Nic suddenly slammed the top half of his body face down, screaming his frustrations into his pillows.

Why did his dad have to be such an asshole?

It was maybe an hour later when Nic heard someone knocking at his bedroom door.

"Nicolas… It's your father."

Nic rolled his eyes but sat up on the edge of the bed. "Come in."

Raphael opened the door and closed it behind him before pulling out Nic's desk chair and having a seat, facing Nic on the bed.

"Your mother says she won't let me eat dinner until we talk," he attempted to joke.

Nic snorted but said nothing, continuing to stare at the floor.

"I'm sorry for yelling earlier," Raphael started to apologize. "Have you … always hated football?"

"I don't hate football, Dad." Nic sighed. "I just don't think it's what I want to do for the rest of my life."

"How long have you felt this way?" he asked with concern.

"I think it really only started in the last year or two," Nic started to explain. "Once people started talking about college and going pro, I just started to think that maybe it wasn't something I really wanted to make a career of. Football is fun, but it's also exhausting and time consuming, and it hurts . Thinking about doing it for the next ten or twenty years just twists my stomach."

"I had no idea, mijo. I'm sorry," Raph apologized sincerely. "I was never trying to push you into something you didn't wanna do. I always thought you and I could talk about anything together."

"Well, that's kind of the problem, Dad. We don't really talk at all," Nic continued his explanation. "You were always into my little league and middle school games, but once I hit high school, it became the only thing you ever talked about. It was always about how practices were going or when the next game was or how great me winning was." Nic paused, having something of an epiphany. "I think that might actually be one of the reasons I don't really like it that much anymore."

"As you and your sisters got older, I knew less and less how to talk to you." Raphael sighed. "It was so simple when you were little. All I had to do was focus on the things I thought you liked, instead of trying to learn anything new." He sighed again. "I'm a shit father."

"You're not shit, Dad." It was Nic's turn to comfort his parent. "You just need to talk to us more. We're older, but we're still your kids. We just like more things than just football and shopping. I can't speak for Gabby or Dani, but you should probably talk to them too."

"I'm still sorry, Nic." Raph nodded. "I know this doesn't make up for anything, but I hope it's a start."

Nic nodded as well. This was by far the best talk he'd had with his dad in years. It was a start.

"So, back to college and St. Helena's…" Raph tentatively turned the conversation back to the sensitive subject that started all this. "I still think you should play football in college."

Nic cocked an eyebrow and squared his jaw. Was his dad being serious? "Dad, we just talk—"

"Hear me out." Raphael held his hands out in front of him to ease Nic. "Not for St. Helena's or any school you don't want to. But these schools are offering you a full ride. Tuition, room and board, everything. You don't have to go pro. You can study whatever you want, wherever you want. You've put in a lot of work the last four years on the field. You earned those scholarships. I don't think you should throw all of that away. At least hear what some of the schools have to offer and then make a decision. And if you really don't want to play ball anymore, we can still afford to send you to college. Just hear them out."

Nic sighed. That was fair. "Okay, Dad. I'll at least see what they have to offer first."

"That's all I'm asking." Raph smiled. "So, what else has been going on, with school, with your friends?"

Nic groaned mentally. He didn't feel like talking about any of the stuff with Cory or Derek, but he couldn't exactly lecture his dad on not opening up to his kids and not open up himself. He'd just need to leave a lot of the more intimate details out.

"School's been fine. It's my last semester so there's not much left to do except get ready for finals." Nic paused for a moment, taking care with his words for the conversation that was to follow. "Cory, Derek, and I aren't really talking anymore. We kind of had a falling out. Doesn't really matter now since school's almost over anyway."

"Oh, that's too bad." Raph looked a little disappointed. "You've been friends with those boys for a long, long time. What happened?"

"A lot of little problems that ended up leading to a big problem." Nic glossed over the whole "I've been fucking Cory" bit. "Some of it is my fault. Girls, football, a few assholes at school… They all just came to a head one day, and now none of us are really talking to each other."

"Well, I think we've seen all the good that not talking does." Raph half-chuckled. "I know it may seem trivial, but those two have been your friends longer than anyone else. A lot of your friends from the last few years will fade away, but those two have been with you through a lot."

"I know, Dad, but it's just…" Nic had to think about his words carefully. "It's like football. We've all changed a lot since we were little… Maybe we're just outgrowing each other."

"Maybe. Or maybe there's something you are avoiding dealing with because this seems easier. You did say some of it was your fault." Ouch. Critical hit, Dad.

"Some of it, yeah. I was kind of a jerk. I said and did some stuff that hurt some people." Understatement, but there wasn't really an easy way to explain just what he had done to Cory. "But… I dunno. School's over in a couple of months. We're all splitting up for college. It just seems easier to let it go and move on. Make new friends. Who stays friends with the people they knew in high school anyway?"

"You don't remember your tios , Javier and Carlos?" The two weren't actually related to them, just two of his dad's old friends. "I met them both in high school, played football with them, and we've stayed friends all these years. I just talked to Carlos yesterday. His daughter just got engaged." Nic remembered Carlos' daughter Ana. She used to babysit him. She was his first crush. "That's why football is such a big deal for me. It led to so many great things in my life, and I wanted you to have the same experience. I just forgot to think if that's what you wanted too.

"I told you. Most of your friends from high school will fall away," Raph continued. "Maybe you'll talk to them online or see them at a reunion, maybe you won't. But some friends are in it for life. And I think that's what you have with those two boys."

"But what am I supposed to do, Dad?" Nic knew the answer but didn't like it and was hoping for a parental reprieve.

"Talk to them. Hear them out." Raph stood from his seat. "Just like with football and college, don't let everything you've gone through the last few years be for nothing just because it seems easier. You owe it to yourself—and them."

"I'll think on it, Dad. Thanks." His dad was right, of course, but he also didn't know a lot of the unique circumstances surrounding the boys' relationship. Nic still wasn't sure what he should do.

His dad held his arms open for a hug, and Nic stood to give him one. It wasn't even one of those awkward "no homo" style hugs he was used to.

"I love you, son. I know I don't say that enough."

"I love you too, Dad." Cue the audience going "aww."

"Dinner should be ready in about an hour, as long as your mother is satisfied." Raph turned toward the door but didn't move just yet. "Now I'm going to try to talk to your sisters."

"Oof. Good luck." Nic would love to sit in on that awkward chat. "Just talk to them like you did me. You'll be fine."

"Thanks, mijo." Raph nodded to himself and then exited the room, leaving Nic to resume sitting on his bed.

So, the football/college/dad issue had largely been taken care, but Nic still had a lot to think about. He flopped back onto his bed and sighed. Being a mature adult sucked.

A few weeks later, it was Friday night, and Derek found himself driving through Lakefield. It wasn't just a random visit. He had called Carl the night before, asking if they could talk. It was the first time they had spoken in months; Derek having felt too ashamed to talk sooner. But he needed the advice, and given the seriousness of some of the issues at hand, Derek thought it would be best to talk in person.

Derek eyed the GPS on his phone as he turned into a neighborhood, making sure he didn't miss his street. Once he found the right address, he parked on the street in front of the house and got out. It was a small, nice looking, one-story house, not a giant empty monstrosity like his own. He locked his car, walked toward the door, knocked, and waited for Carl to answer.

"Derek, good to see you. Come in!" Carl smiled as he held the door open, closing it behind Derek as he entered.

"You want anything to drink? Water?" Carl asked as he led Derek to the living room.

"No, thank you. I'm okay right now." Derek was eager and anxious to get started and took a seat on the couch.

"Now, what was so important that you wanted to drive all the way out here to talk to me about?" Carl asked as he took a seat on the opposite end of the couch.

"It's a lot. It's about my friends and the sensitive stuff I was asking you about a while back." Derek was ready to just lay everything on the table.

"I thought they might be related." Carl nodded. "What's going on?"

"Cory, Nic, and I split up." Derek sighed.

"Oh. Sorry to hear that." Carl always thought the three of them together was kinda sweet.

"It happened at the end of last year. It was Cory's decision, ultimately, but it was my fault. It started the day before." Derek started mentally ordering the events leading up to the present.

"What happened the day before?"

"Two different things, actually. First, someone had seen Nic and Cory fooling around at the party I told you about a while back." Derek grimaced. "They started spreading it around school, which made Nic freak out. That one isn't my fault."

"Shit. Are they both okay?" Carl sat up a little. "I was outed in high school myself. It was awful."

"Cory actually didn't seem that phased." Derek hadn't thought much of it at the time. "Nic freaked out the first day, but he's fine now. And I wouldn't exactly say he was outed. He still thinks of himself as straight. He just waited for the rumors to die down and used his girlfriend to fuck the gay away."

"Come again?" Carl cocked his head like a dog.

"Yeah, that's like a whole other thing." Derek waved vaguely off to the side. "Nic has never exactly been comfortable with his sexuality. Falls into very bro-like behavior when his masculinity is questioned."

Carl sat, mouth slightly agape, at the insightful teenager on his couch. "And what about you?"

"I figured I was at least bi a while ago. Just never really came up before." Derek shrugged. "I think I still mostly lean toward girls, but I don't think you can have as much gay sex as I have without being at least a little bi. It doesn't really seem like a big deal."

"I envy you. Do you know the mental and emotional hoops people my age had to jump through to come to terms with their sexuality back then?" Kids these days really did have it easy.

"People are gay, Carl," Derek joked.

"What about Nic?" Carl was curious about the other boy.

"I said it wasn't a big deal for me." Derek shook his head. "Nic is another story."

"And what was the other thing that happened?" Carl pushed on.

"It was the end of the day, and Cory and I were in my car leaving campus. He had told me he wanted to talk." The exact thing Carl told him was important for a sub to be able to do.

"Uh huh." Carl nodded and waited for Derek to continue, already not liking the direction this seemed to be headed.

"He told me had talked to his friend about the three of us, and I … freaked out, a little," Derek admitted. "I thought maybe she might have been the source of Nic's rumors. She wasn't, but Cory did talk to her about other things. Like parts of our arrangement he was having problems with, things he couldn't really talk to anyone about. The way Nic and I would keep him in the dark about a lot of things. The times we put him in a few … compromising positions. Or, uh, the way I kinda went about starting this whole thing."

"You know, I was always curious." Carl leaned back, sure he was in for quite a story. "How did your little arrangement come together?"

"It started after me and Nic found Cory's porn. Not just vanilla stuff—full kink. We both tried to pretend like it never happened, let it fade away, but it wouldn't stop nagging at our minds. We were both way more into it than either of us wanted to admit, but we didn't know what to do about it. So we made a plan. I made a plan." Derek took a deep breath before continuing.

"That weekend, we took Cory up to my family's cabin, and we got him drunk. Once he was a few beers in, we went for it. We told him we found his porn. He freaked a little at first until we told him that we were more than okay with him being gay, and then we … convinced him to suck our dicks. I had done a little research on BDSM, and using that , we spent the rest of the weekend … training Cory." Derek looked up at Carl to see his slack-jawed, wide-eyed expression.

"Jesus titty-fucking Christ, boy." Carl sat up. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I know. I know . I'm a piece of shit who was only thinking with his dick. It gets worse." Derek took another deep breath. "He brought that night up and how we … took advantage of him. And I… I lost it. I started yelling at him, kicked him out of the car, and left him in front of a Burger King. Told him that he shouldn't be forced to ride with his … rapist." Derek couldn't bring his eyes up from the floor this time. He was thankful Carl was silent and barreled forward.

"That was the night I talked to you about the party stuff, which wasn't entirely just about the party. I wanted to find Cory the next day and apologize. He was angry but said we could talk. I grabbed Nic, and we met in one of our usual spots. I tried to apologize … for more than just the day before. I wanted to give us a chance to start over, start the right way.

"I don't really understand what happened next. I started talking, but then Nic jumped in and said he wanted to end the whole thing. It caught me off guard. Cory too but not nearly as much. I think something happened between them, but I don't know what. Cory was as angry with him as he was me. He said he was done too—with everything. He had me take off his collar, and he walked out." Derek thought sadly about the discarded chain sitting in one of his drawers at home. "I haven't spoken to Cory since, and Nic has been doing everything he can to keep me at arm's length too. Can't say I really blame them." Derek sniffled, not realizing his eyes had started to water. He waited a few moments before finally looking up at Carl, who was giving him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"I don't even know where to start. I can't believe… All the times we've talked, and you never once told me any of this." Carl was bewildered. "My own damn fault. Should've thought to question a little more about how the three barely-legal young men came to find themselves in a kink-based triad. That's what I get for thinking with my own dick," Carl mumbled to himself.

"I know but… What do I do? How do I fix this?" Derek almost whined.

"Fix this?" Carl boomed with laughter. "You don't . There's nothing to fix. You count yourself lucky the worst thing you lost was your friend, and you leave that boy alone."

"What? No, I have to fix this! Ever since that day, Cory's been hanging out with this other guy, and I know they're fucking, and I just have a really bad feel—"

" Derek. " Carl steadied his gaze at the boy on the other end of the couch. "When you decided to go forward with that little plan of yours, you made every possible bad decision along the way. You lied to, manipulated, and used one of your best friends because the thought of it made your dick hard.

"That boy has had his entire life turned upside down. You went from best friend, and by your own admission, protector, to his dom and owner in a single night . You even took away his choice to come out of the closet to you." Carl sat back on the couch. "And Derek, I remember high school. You and I both know there's no way Cory was the first virgin you've been with. You know what that can do to a person's emotions. You leave that boy alone and count yourself lucky that that's the end of it."

Derek was silent as he let Carl's words sink in. Carl was right. This was just Derek's incessant need to be a control freak coming up again. Still, Derek wasn't only concerned with Cory… "What about Nic?"

"You leave him be too. Sounds like that boy is dealing with some things about himself that he's not ready to admit," Carl said somewhat thoughtfully. "Not saying he's any less guilty of doing the same things to Cory, but I'm willing to bet that until he can come to terms with his own sexuality, the rest of this would just be lost on him."

Derek was again silent for a few minutes, mind blank. He felt numb. "I… I don't know what to do without those two. They've been my friends forever."

"You'll be okay." Carl slid over on the couch and patted Derek on the leg. "I know it seems like the end of the world right now, but you'll heal, I promise. Come on. I'm starving. Let's order a pizza."

Carl stood and walked toward the kitchen, not waiting to see if Derek was following. The sudden subject change caught Derek off guard … but pizza did sound pretty good right now.

Carl smiled when he saw Derek entering the kitchen. Nothing to soothe a broken teenage heart like some pizza. He pulled the menu for his favorite local place and asked Derek about toppings and phoned in the order. They had about a half hour to kill until it got there.

"Thanks for talking to me about all of this." Derek pulled out one of the bar stools from the kitchen counter. "And for not … thinking I'm a monster."

"Not a monster." Carl chuckled as he returned the pizza menu to the side of the fridge. "An idiot, maybe, but one I hope will use this to learn from his mistakes in the future."

"I will. I really will." Derek was being stoic. "I just never thought about what it would be like to lose my two best friends. I didn't expect it to hurt like this."

Carl snorted before he realized Derek was being serious. "You still think this is just about losing your two best friends, kid?"

"What do you mean?"

"Boy, you spent nearly every day for three or four months with these two. And you spent nearly all of that time together in close, intimate quarters, having what I can only assume was some of the most intense sex of your life. You took your best friend's virginity. You put a damn collar around his neck." Carl was really going to have to spell it out. Poor kid. "I think those two stopped being just your friends a while ago. You're heartbroken, Derek."

"Oh." Derek stared at the granite countertop, somewhat dumbfounded.

"Yeah, ‘oh.'" Carl laughed again.

"I never really…" Derek trailed off. He hadn't ever thought of his relationship with Nic or Cory that way. Hadn't thought of it as a relationship at all. It wasn't like when he had girlfriends… Was it? He did miss them, a lot. Missed hanging out with them. Hated seeing Cory with someone else. And he felt like an asshole, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't really miss the sex, too. "Huh."

"You learn something new every day, kid." Carl opened his fridge and grabbed two cans—only soda, of course. He had a feeling they still had a lot more to talk about before the night was over. "Alright, so now why don't you tell me what exactly is going on with your parents that you can get away with even half of this shit?"

Derek groaned. The pizza could not get here fast enough.

"Shit. That does suck." Carl wiped the pizza grease from his beard with a napkin.

"They weren't always like this. They were great when I was younger." Derek took a swig of his soda. "Once my big brother moved out, I think they both just figured I'd be gone soon enough. What's another year or two of raising your youngest son?"

"Anyone ever tell you that you're kind of a spoiled brat?" Carl chuckled.

Derek almost choked on his pizza trying to defend himself, making Carl laugh harder.

"Calm down. I'm only fucking with ya. A little." Carl waited for Derek to swallow his mouthful before continuing. "I'm not saying your parents didn't drop the ball. It sounds like they got a little too preoccupied with work to think about how that felt to you… But sixteen or seventeen years of being attentive loving parents ain't nothing. And if they weren't gone, you wouldn't have done or learned half the stuff you have these past few months. You're kinda acting like—"

"—The world revolves around me and my problems?"

"So you have been called a spoiled brat before." Carl grinned to show he was still just joking.

"Maybe not in those exact words." Derek thought back to what Tricia had said to him at school. Maybe he should just crawl into a hole somewhere…

"Hey, none of that," Carl half-ordered, trying to stop Derek from overthinking things too much. "You fucked up, and you learned. You can only try to do better going forward. Beating yourself up isn't going to make anybody feel better, least of all yourself."

"Yes, sir." Carl was right. Derek tried to shake the thoughts from his head rather than let himself be pulled down. "Thanks again for listening to everything."

"Of course, kid." Carl let the "sir" Derek slipped in pass without comment. "Not sure why, but ever since the three of you walked into the store that day, I've felt a little protective of ya. When you started asking me for advice, I was more than happy to provide. I just wish I had known a little more about what was going on sooner. Might have been able to save you some hurt."

"Do you do that often? Mentor young men in the way of kink?" Derek teased before biting into another slice.

"Heh, here and there." Carl wiggled his head from side to side. "You lot are by far the youngest, but I've trained my share of boys over the years."

"How'd you get started?" Derek was genuinely curious how someone would normally get into this sort of thing.

"Not too different from you, actually. It wasn't internet porn, but it was the first time I saw any kind of kink." Carl thought back to when he was just a little gayby, still coming out of his shell. "I was out to a few people at the time, just going through my life like normal. I was in college, and one night I decided to try going to a gay bar downtown. When I got there, I found out it was actually their weekly leather night. A lot of very attractive men walking around in their leathers and gear. I didn't stay long, got too nervous, but the whole time I was there, my dick was rock hard. I went back a few weeks later, and one of the regular doms there approached. He saw me there on my first visit and spent the rest of the night talking to me, asking me things, and telling me about kink and leather. He ended up being my first dom. We were together a little over a year." Carl smiled as he reminisced.

"You were a sub?" Derek couldn't picture the burly man sitting across from him as anything other than a dom.

"Yeah," Carl answered. "I was still new and didn't quite know what I liked then. It's pretty common for doms to have been someone's sub at one point. There's a lot more switches out there than you realize, and it's a good training tool. If you're going to dominate a sub, then you should know what it's like to be on the receiving end of things."

"That makes sense." Derek took Carl's words in as he finished his third slice of pizza before speaking further. "Have you ever trained anyone as a dom before?"

"I've had a couple of boys go on to take on subs of their own." Carl nodded.

"Would you train me?"

Carl stared at Derek, pizza halfway in his mouth. Finishing what he had chewed, he put the rest of his slice down. "You don't ever slow down, do ya boy?"

"You've basically been training me already," Derek pointed out, ignoring Carl's question. "This would just be a more hands on approach."

"What makes you think I'm even looking for a sub right now?" Carl challenged.

"Maybe you aren't," Derek admitted. "You can say no. But me being into this stuff isn't going to go away, and if I'm going to do this, I want to do it the right way. Sir."

Carl stared at Derek again before laughing. "You got some balls, kid."

"Is that a yes?" Derek avoided the obvious joke.

"No. What it is, is 12:30 in the morning." They had been talking for a while.

"Oh shit! I better get going." Derek pushed his chair away from the table, feeling like he had definitely overstayed his welcome.

"Boy, you aren't driving anywhere at this hour. Unless you got somewhere to be tomorrow, you are parking your ass on that couch tonight." Carl remained in his seat.

Derek took this as a good sign and returned to his request. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather have me in your bed, sir?"

"Cut the shit, Derek." Carl weathered his gaze at the boy who was starting to push his luck. "What you're asking for is something serious."

"I am serious!"

"You're also only eighteen and spent the last three hours coming to terms with some very serious shit—shit you aren't even close to being through with yet," Carl pointed out gruffly. "What makes you think you could handle something like that now? Why the hell are you trying to jump right back into this shit anyway?"

"I don't know. I just… I don't think this is something I can make go away, and I don't know what else to do. The only other two guys I know into this stuff…" Derek trailed off.

"Come on. Let's get the couch set up." Carl sighed and closed the pizza box, getting up to slide it into the fridge. He hated feeling like an overprotective papa bear sometimes.

Carl grabbed some spare sheets and a couple of his own pillows and got Derek situated on the couch. The boy was mostly silent, probably worried that if he pushed anymore, Carl was going to kick him out or something. A far cry from the cocky teen Carl remembered walking into his store all those months ago.

"I'll think about it." Carl hoped he wasn't going to regret this. "But that means you have to, too. This isn't a game. This is something I take very, very seriously. You need to think about everything this is gonna entail, and if you're going to be able to handle that." And Carl was going to have to weigh the pros and cons of training this boy. It was going to be a late night.

"Yes, sir, I will." Derek smiled before sliding onto the couch. "Thank you, again. Even if you don't say yes. You've been really awesome about everything, Carl."

"Night, boy." Carl smiled back and sighed to himself. Goddammit .

"Night, sir."

Carl flicked off the living room light and walked to his bedroom, undressing and sliding into his own bed. He thought about texting some friends for advice but explaining why he had an 18-year-old asleep on his couch asking for training was probably going to take way longer than he had the energy for right now. His first instinct was to say no. From everything he learned tonight, it seemed like Derek's life was in a freefall. He had been jumping head first into situation after situation until everything blew up at once. Carl was worried that this request for training was just a reaction to the fight with his friends and that agreeing would only make Derek's life more chaotic.

But Derek had also proven to be determined to go after what he wanted. Carl wondered if his privileged upbringing had anything do with that. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it meant that if he didn't get training from Carl, he might go out and try to get it from someone else. And Carl wasn't blind. Derek was hot, and the cocky little shit knew it. It wouldn't take him long to find an interested dom. Carl had friends he was sure would be interested, but given all of Derek's baggage… At least Carl already knew the score.

Derek was also only eighteen. Legal, yes, but Carl couldn't imagine his parents being thrilled if he found out who he was running around with. Not to mention agreeing to this also meant he'd be responsible for a lot of Derek's firsts when it came to gay sex. It wasn't that Carl minded teaching a virgin the ropes, but Carl knew from firsthand experience how easy attachment can come with these sorts of things, especially in a D/s relationship. Was he ready to potentially deal with that?

He also just felt for the boy. He was hurting, bad. He really was trying to take responsibility for his actions, though Carl still wasn't sure he fully understood their weight. Carl couldn't help but want to help him. He was sweet, eager, hopeful. All qualities Carl loved in a sub.

Dammit. Fucking papa bear syndrome.

Carl woke early the next morning, not quite remembering when he finally fell asleep the night before. Throwing on a pair of shorts, he walked toward the living room expecting to find Derek still asleep on the couch. Instead, he found the couch empty and the smell of coffee coming from the kitchen. The hell?

"Good morning, sir." Derek greeted Carl as he entered the kitchen. "I made coffee!"

Carl chuckled at Derek's renewed brazenness. "Blowing smoke up my ass isn't going to convince me to say yes, boy." Still, Carl poured himself a cup before sitting at his dining room table. "Sit."

Derek took the same seat across from Carl that he had the night before.

"So, if I agree to do this, I need to make a few things clear." Carl had actually written some of this down on his phone last night but felt like he could remember what he needed to say. "First, this is a commitment. If you want me to train you, then that means your ass is mine, figuratively and literally, for at least a few hours a week. I don't want to say yes only to have you decide you want out in a week."

"I won't. I swear," Derek blurted.

"Second, and this one is important: this training is not some kind of punishment for what you did to Cory." Carl left no room for argument in his voice. "This doesn't make up for any of that; I can't offer you atonement, only Cory can, and you need to accept that it may never happen."

"I understand," Derek responded more meekly.

"Finally, if I take you on as my boy, understand that extends beyond the bedroom and dungeon. It means working on more than just your kinks, like making sure you are getting your shit together, and hopefully teaching you how to be less of a cocky asshole."

"Yes, sir." Derek remained passive, but hopeful. "Does that mean you're saying yes?"

"That means yes, boy." Carl really hoped he didn't regret this.

"Thank you, sir!" Derek exclaimed. "When can we get started?"

"Slow down, boy." Carl huffed. "Let a daddy enjoy his coffee first."

"Sorry, sir." Derek bit his lip, practically vibrating in his seat.

Carl sipped his coffee and contemplated his next move.

"You know what, boy? I think we can get started." If the boy was gonna be so insistent, he might as well put him to work.

"Really, sir?"

"Really." Carl pushed his chair away from the table, turning it sideways but continuing to sit. Then he pointed to the floor in front of him. Time to get his training started. "On your knees."

Derek's eyes went wide before he scrambled into position. The full weight of what he was just about to do didn't hit him until he looked up at Carl from his spot on the floor. Oh shit. He was about to suck his first dick. His eyes went wide again, and he swallowed nervously.

"There's still time to back out if you want to." Carl figured this was a good test for Derek. Not only would it teach him a little humility, but it was also an act that was solely for the other person. Carl doubted Derek was used to sex where he wasn't the one getting off.

"No, sir." Derek eyed Carl's crotch nervously and swallowed again but remained on the floor. "I told you, I'm serious."

"Alright then, boy." Carl reached down and into his shorts, tucking the waistband under his growing cock and furry sack. "You are going to kneel there and suck my cock while I finish my coffee and answer some emails." Carl leaned back in his chair and picked up his phone, looking at Derek expectantly before he got started.

"I've, uh, never—" Derek stared at Carl's almost beer can-thick dick as it finished filling out.

"I know. Don't worry. I wouldn't even expect an experienced sub to have an easy time with this thing." Carl squeezed his cock for emphasis. "Just go slow and watch your teeth. You know what you like when you're getting your own dick sucked."

Derek nodded and took a deep breath before shuffling forward. Tentatively, he reached a hand out toward Carl's dick, feeling it twitch in his grip. His own cock was half-hard in his pants, though Derek wasn't sure how much of that was due to nerves.

Carl groaned but said nothing, sipping his coffee and opening his phone. Derek was going to have to choose to suck this dick all on his own.

Derek looked up at Carl for a second and then slowly moved his face toward his dick. He could see a bead of precum was beginning to well up on the head. Cum—that was something Derek would have to get used to. Here goes nothing.

Derek took the head of Carl's dick into his mouth, the salty taste of his skin mixing with his precum. The taste was … exactly how it smelled. Not great. Not terrible but not great. Still, Derek heard Carl's sharp intake of breath as he was engulfed, so Derek figured he did something right.

Carl did his best to respond to his emails, but it was a little hard to ignore the fact that there was a mouth on his dick. Still, this was more about the principle than the act. It didn't matter what Carl was doing on his phone—if he wanted his sub on his knees sucking dick, then he would be on his knees sucking dick.

And suck dick he did or at least he tried. He held Carl's dick in place with his hand, feeling every twitch and pulse as he worked. It did not take long for his jaw to tire, something Carl had anticipated. Derek bobbed his head up and down on Carl's dick, only managing to take in the first few inches and not even attempting to take it farther into his throat. It was no matter. In due time, Carl would be teaching Derek to enthusiastically and willingly take his dick however Carl wanted.

Carl watched Derek out of the corner of his eye as he read through some news articles. He waited for the telltale signs of his jaw getting tired, wanting to push him just a little further than was comfortable. To his credit, Derek did not complain once, only switching his hand part way through as he adjusted his weight on his knees. Carl had to admit he was dedicated. Time to ease up.

"Good boy." Carl gently patted Derek on the head before pushing him back from his cock. Only for a second though, before Carl pulled him back into his balls. "Work those nuts."

Derek never imagined he'd be thankful to have his face shoved into a guy's balls, but here he was. Sucking dick was no joke. Derek really underestimated Cory's skills there. He was nowhere near close to getting Carl off. Derek happily lapped and sucked at Carl's full nuts, happy to let his jaw rest.

"Good boy," Carl gritted as he felt Derek's warm tongue against his balls, gripping his dick and starting to stroke.

Wouldn't take him too long now. Carl loved having his balls played with—all things Derek would learn in due time. He held Derek's face against his crotch by his hair, leaving him enough room to breathe but not letting him pull away.

Derek continued to lap and suck at Carl's nuts as the hand in his hair held him in place. His cock was fully hard now, whether it was from the energy or the act Derek didn't know, but he wasn't going to question it. He gripped his own cock through his shorts and squeezed, groaning against Carl's skin.

"Hands off your dick, boy," Carl growled. "I didn't tell you to touch yourself, did I?"

Derek's hand shot away from his dick at the sudden order. Okay, that definitely made his dick twitch. Seemed like Derek was going to learn a whole lot of new things about himself. He planted both hands on Carl's thighs as he continued to lap at the man's nuts as he steadily stroked his cock above. Suddenly, Derek's head was pushed back, Carl moving to a standing position above him. Oh fuck, he was gonna blow.

"Open your mouth, boy," Carl ordered with a grunt. "And close your eyes, or this might burn."

Derek only had a second to prepare before he was on the receiving end of his first facial. Derek felt Carl's load splash across his face, landing across the bridge of his nose and eyebrow. The second shot was lower, mostly across his lips and in his mouth. Derek nearly gagged from the abrupt and unexpected taste and texture. He didn't have a chance though, because shots three, four, and five soon followed, continuing to coat his face and fill his mouth as Carl breathed heavily above him. Eyes squeezed shut, Derek could feel Carl shake the last few drops from his cock onto Derek's face before sitting back down, finished using his new boy for the first time.

"Swallow," Carl ordered, seeing the way Derek was still holding some of his load in his mouth. "My boys don't spit."

Derek had been trying to not even breathe through his nose to avoid tasting the fresh load in his mouth. So much for that , Derek figured. He forced himself to swallow, the taste again a strange bitter saltiness that wasn't quite bad and wasn't quite good. He could still feel the wet cum on his face, afraid to open his eyes lest some get in.

"Good boy. Hold still." Derek felt Carl hold his face in place, using a paper towel to wipe some of his face clean. "Safe to open now."

Derek hesitantly opened his eyes, safe from any stray cum. He looked up and saw Carl smiling down at him warmly, messy paper towel still in hand. His cock was still hard, and he used the paper towel to wipe some cum still dripping from the tip.

"Not bad for your first time."

"Thank you, sir." Oof, his jaw was going to be sore later. "That was … different."

"Did you enjoy it?" Carl asked, curious.

"Yes." Derek couldn't exactly ignore the hard dick in his pants. Neither did Carl, who prodded it with his feet.

"I can see that." Carl held out a hand to help Derek to his feet. "So, still want to go through with training?"

"Yes, sir, absolutely." If anything, Derek was only more sure of himself now.

"Guess we have some work to do then, boy." Carl sighed, but smiled. "Let's get to it."