Chapter 67

HUDSON

When Diana called and told me she was flying into La Guardia and was officially asking me out for dinner, I nearly whooped with joy. I was looking forward to seeing her. I arranged to meet her at a cozy Italian restaurant in Brooklyn that she had never been to before. I sat at our reserved table and couldn't help but feel a sense of nervous excitement.

I missed her. It was a strange feeling. I missed her more than I thought was possible. In rehab, I missed her, but I was consumed with the therapy and activities planned for me every day. Now that I was back in my penthouse and I felt good, I was ready to start living again. That included being with her. I felt like I had something to offer now. I wanted her to see me. The new, improved me.

I knew this dinner might be that closure I told my brothers I got before. I hoped it wasn't, but she had spread her wings and got to explore the world. She might have realized she didn't love me. If she told me she wanted to just be friends, I had to accept it. That didn't mean I was going to like it, but I pushed her away. I didn't treat her right. She had every reason to walk away from me.

I sipped my water and waited. The moment Diana walked into the restaurant, I was struck by how incredible she looked. Her hair was shorter, framing her face in a way that accentuated her features. There was a lightness to her that I hadn't seen before. She was wearing a pretty blue sweater and a skirt that flowed around her knees with boots. She practically glowed as she greeted me with a warm hug. I couldn't help but inhale the familiar scent of coconut and citrus that clung to her skin.

"You look good," I said. "Gorgeous."

We settled into our seats. I couldn't tear my gaze away from her. I loved her. I had a feeling I would always love her. I cleared my throat, trying to find my voice. "Do you want something to drink?" I asked.

"Coke," she replied.

When the waitress showed up, she brought our menus and we both ordered Coke.

"How have you been?" I asked her. "How was your trip?"

Diana took a moment. "It was amazing," she began, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. "I visited so many beautiful places, met incredible people, and tried delicious food. It was everything I had hoped for and more."

"You're hooked on worldwide travel," I joked.

"Oh, yes!" She laughed and took a drink of her soda. "I met a couple of young ladies that will be bouncing around the world for the next six months. They invited me to join them in Brazil next month."

"Are you going to?"

"Maybe." She shrugged.

I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. I wished I could have been there with her, experiencing all of those incredible moments by her side. But I pushed those thoughts aside, focusing instead on the joy radiating from her as she recounted her journey. I had no claim to her. If she wanted to go to Brazil, that was her choice.

"It sounds amazing," I said, unable to hide the admiration in my voice. "I'm glad you had such a great time."

Diana smiled at me, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "It was more than I could have ever imagined," she replied. "But I have to admit, I'm glad to be back. There's just something about being home, you know?"

I nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. There was a sense of comfort and familiarity that came with being back in familiar surroundings. At least that was how I felt now. A year ago, I hated coming home. I didn't really know where home was. I was so determined to be a rolling stone. If I was always on the move, no one would really know just how much shit I was getting up to.

"I do know." I nodded. "Sort of."

"I was looking forward to seeing you," she added, her smile turning flirtatious. "I thought about you every day that I was gone. I kept thinking I wish you were seeing the things I saw. Sharing the experience with you would have made it better."

Her words caught me off guard. I felt a warmth spread through my chest at the realization that she had been thinking about me. It was a strange feeling, knowing that she had carried me with her in some small way during her travels.

"I thought about you too," I admitted, unable to tear my gaze away from her. "Every day. Every hour."

Diana's smile widened. "I'm glad we're finally getting a chance to catch up," she said softly. "I missed you."

The sincerity in her words took me by surprise. I found myself at a loss for how to respond. I had missed her too, more than I cared to admit. "I missed you too," I said quietly.

We sat in silence for a moment, lost in our own thoughts, before the waiter interrupted us to take our orders. As we waited for our food to arrive, I couldn't help but steal glances at Diana, marveling at how much she had changed since I last saw her. It was like I was seeing her with clearer vision.

"So, what's next for you?" I asked, eager to hear about her plans now that she was back in the city.

Diana shrugged, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Who knows?" she replied. "I'm just taking things one day at a time. But I have a feeling that whatever comes next, it's going to be amazing."

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I was about to say next. It was now or never. I was just getting comfortable with my feelings and allowing myself to actually feel them. I needed to be able to express them as well. That was a whole new challenge.

"Diana, I'm in love with you," I confessed, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. "I think I have been ever since that very first night in my motel room, when I bought you that soda from the vending machine."

I watched as her eyes widened, her lips parting in disbelief. But before she could respond, I knew I had to say more. I had to lay it all out on the table, bare my soul to her in a way I had never done before.

"And I don't just mean that I love you," I continued, my heart pounding in my chest. "I mean I'm in love with you, Diana. With every fiber of my being."

Diana's eyes searched mine, a myriad of emotions flickering across her face. I held my breath, waiting for her response, hoping against hope that she felt even a fraction of what I did. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she reached across the table and placed her hand over mine.

"I don't know what to say," she began softly, her voice filled with a mixture of surprise and vulnerability. "I never expected—I mean, I didn't think that you?—"

I felt a surge of panic grip my heart. Had I made a terrible mistake? Maybe I had misread all the signs. Maybe I lost her for good when I walked away without a word.

But then, Diana's expression softened. "You know what?" she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I am in love with you too."

Relief washed over me, making my whole body relax. The tension that had been coiled within me for so long seemed to melt away in an instant.

"Really?" I asked, hardly daring to believe it. "Still? Even after everything I did?"

Diana nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Yes, really. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone, but there's something about you that just clicks. It's like we were always meant to find each other again, no matter where life took us."

I reached across the table and gently cupped Diana's face in my hands, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath my fingertips. "I can't imagine my life without you in it," I whispered, my voice filled with raw emotion.

Diana smiled through her tears, leaning into my touch. "Then don't imagine it," she replied softly. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

Without warning, she got out of her chair and came around the table. She bent down and pressed her lips to mine in a tender, passionate kiss. It was like fireworks exploding in the night sky, igniting a fire within me.

When we finally pulled apart, breathless and dizzy with emotion, she looked at me with a mixture of love and uncertainty in her eyes. She sat down in her seat once again. "What does this mean for us?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"It means that I want to be wherever you are," I replied, my voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. I felt like I had swallowed twenty Red Bulls. I was jittery. Nervous. Excited. "Cold Springs. New York. Spain. Peru. England. Wherever it is, that's where I belong. Wherever you want to be is where I want to be."

She smiled at my words, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I'm not sure where that is yet," she admitted. "But I know where we both belong tonight. Tonight, we belong together."

"Stay with me?" I asked hopefully.

She giggled softly. "As a matter of fact, I did not reserve a hotel room for the night."

"Good. Come to my penthouse. You'll be surprised by the changes."

"Oh?" she asked.

"I've had a lot of time on my hands." I chuckled. "Turns out when I'm sober and can see straight, I've realized I lived in a glorified hotel room. I've been doing some shopping."

She laughed. "A new vice?"

"More like a newfound appreciation for comfort," I replied. "Spending time at your place gave me a new appreciation for pillows and candles. I thought about hiring a decorator but that would have been too easy."

"What else have you been doing to pass the time?" she asked.

I took a deep breath. "Well, I visit with a therapist once a week. I have AA meetings once or twice a week depending on where I'm at. I've been hitting the gym pretty hard."

She arched her eyebrow. "Oh?"

I winked at her. "Oh, yeah. I'm in the best shape of my life. I've been hanging out with my nephew and just staying busy in general."

Diana's eyes filled with warmth and pride as she listened to my words. "I'm so proud of you," she said. "You've come such a long way. I can't wait to see what you've done with the place. Does Darla or Debbie or whoever still have a spot on the couch?" She was referring to the inflatable sex doll that had been in the penthouse the first night she stayed over.

I grinned. "No. She was deflated and tossed in the trash."

"Poor Darla," she said sarcastically. "Was there a service?"

"Nope."

We finished our meal and made our way to my penthouse. The elevator ride up was filled with an electric tension. I was anxious to be with her. I wanted her to step into my home and see the proof of the changes in my life. As we stepped into the foyer, Diana gasped in awe at the transformation that had taken place since she was last here.

The once stark and sterile space was now warm and inviting, filled with plush furniture and cozy touches that reflected a sense of home.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, her voice filled with wonder as she walked further into the room. Her eyes roamed around, taking in every detail of the new decor. Soft lighting cast a warm glow over the space, creating a peaceful ambiance that felt like a sanctuary. I had spent hours looking at what felt like thousands of images and then worked hard to replicate the images.

I watched her reaction with a nervous anticipation, hoping she would approve of the changes I had made. Her approval meant everything to me—it was a reflection of the effort I had put into bettering myself, not just for me, but for us.

Diana turned to me, her expression soft and tender. "I love it," she said sincerely. "It feels like a real home now."

Relief flooded through me at her words. It was as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, knowing that she appreciated the effort I had put into making my home a place where we could both feel comfortable and at peace. Last time she was here, she had been disappointed.

As I led her through the rest of the penthouse, showing her each room and the little personal touches I had added, I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in how far I had come. Not just in redecorating the place, but in my journey toward sobriety and self-improvement. I opened the door to my bedroom that was pretty much the same, but I had added a few things to make it just a little cozier.

"I like it." She smiled. "Maybe you have a future as a decorator."

I laughed. "No thanks."