Chapter 51

HUDSON

The sight of her was enough to ignite a wildfire in my veins. Her eyes shimmered under the candlelight, full of anticipation and desire that mirrored my own. I watched as she moved, her body language telling a story of longing and passion that words would never do justice to.

She ran her hands over my chest, the lightest touch that had my cock demanding the same attention. Her breath brushed over my lips before they collided with mine. It was a flame meeting gasoline, an all-consuming inferno that left me breathless and wanting more. I couldn't explain it and I didn't want to understand the effect she had on me. No other woman had ever made me feel like this.

I let out a low moan as I pulled her closer. My chest pushed against her breasts with only the flimsy fabric between us. My hands roamed over her, memorizing every contour of her body. I was on the verge of exploding. Sitting through dinner and staring at her in the tiny little bit of fabric that was meant to tease had been torture in the best way.

I gently pushed her back until she was on the bed once again. Crouching over her, I saw her breath hitch as she looked at me from beneath those long, dark lashes. Her lips parted slightly inviting me to taste them once more.

Bracing myself on one arm, my other hand gently traced the outline of her face, trailing down to the hollow of her neck. The way her eyes fluttered shut and the slight tremor that ran through her body did nothing but make me desire her more.

She arched up into my touch, a soft moan escaping her lips. The sound vibrated through me, sending a jolt of heat straight to my core. Her hands moved to my shoulders, her fingers digging into the hard muscle there, telling me she wanted more.

"Why so eager?" I teased, leaning in closer, our noses almost touching.

"If you don't take me, I might just have to do it myself," she replied.

Her boldness unleashed something within me that had been struggling to break free since the moment I walked into the room. With a growl, I claimed her lips once more with a fervor that left us both panting. Breaking away only to slide my hand under the flimsy fabric to massage her breasts. Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer as she rolled us over so that she was on top.

She began trailing kisses down my neck, each one hotter and hungrier than the last, her hands gliding over my abs. My hands found their way to the small of her back, pulling her against me until there was no inch of her body that didn't press into mine.

A soft gasp fell from her mouth as she reached the waistband of my briefs, her fingers trembling slightly as she hooked them and slid them down my hips. With a swift tug, she freed my erection, which stood at attention, demanding her attention.

Her eyes locked onto my cock, causing a shiver to run down my spine. Slowly, she scooted back and lowered her mouth toward my erection, her eyes never leaving mine. The anticipation was almost too much to bear.

I groaned as her warm, wet mouth enveloped the head of my cock, tugging it between her lips with the slightest pressure. A low moan escaped my lips as I felt her tongue flick against the sensitive skin, making my cock twitch involuntarily. The sensation was both a reward and a tease, her eyes never leaving mine as she continued to please me.

I let out a soft groan, my hips bucking involuntarily as she took more of my cock into her mouth. Her lips wrapped around me, sucking and stroking gently, causing my body to arch in response. It felt like a sweet torture, the way she teased me so expertly, drawing out every ounce of desire I had to offer.

She sucked and licked, taking me deeper with each passing moment, her hands massaging and squeezing my hips as I writhed beneath her. I couldn't take much more of this, my body craving the release she was so expertly withholding.

As her mouth continued its work, my fingers threaded through her hair, guiding her movements. She moaned around my cock, her sounds vibrating against my shaft, fueling my desire even further.

"Enough," I groaned, my hips bucking wildly as I pulled her off my erection. She looked up at me, her eyes filled with mischief and desire. She slid her panties to the side and climbed on top of me, positioning herself over my throbbing cock.

With a deep breath, she slowly lowered herself onto me, feeling the warmth of her body enveloping me, inch by inch. A low cry escaped her lips as she felt my fullness inside her, our bodies fitting together perfectly.

I held her close, my hands on her waist, watching as she began to move, her hips rocking back and forth, our bodies in perfect harmony. She leaned down to kiss me, her tongue probing my mouth, while our bodies moved together in a frenzy of passion. Her moans echoed in my ears, turning me on more than I knew was possible. My hands held on to her waist, pulling her closer with each thrust, our bodies merging into one.

The rhythm built up, our movements becoming more erratic, more intense. Our grunts and moans filled the room, mingling with the scent of sweat and desire. We were lost in each other, our bodies craving the release that was just within reach.

"Don't stop," I groaned.

She pulled away from the kiss, her breath ragged, her eyes locked on mine. She began to move faster, her hips thrusting harder, our bodies slamming together with each powerful stroke. My hands tightened around her waist, pulling her closer, feeling the wetness of her core on my cock.

She moaned, her voice shaking with desire. We both knew we were close, just a few more thrusts away from the release we craved. I could feel the tension building within me, the pleasure so intense it was almost unbearable.

Her eyes rolled back, her body tensing as she let out a loud, primal cry. She climaxed, her muscles clenching around my cock. I couldn't hold back any longer either. My orgasm took over, filling her with my release.

She collapsed on top of me, our bodies still joined as we struggled to catch our breath. Her head rested on my chest, her heavy breathing brushing over my skin. I combed my fingers through her hair, feeling the soft strands between my fingers.

"I needed that," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I needed you," I murmured.

I gently ran my fingers through her hair, feeling the weight of it in my hand. She looked up at me, her eyes soft and full of emotion. Something was happening. Something big. And I wasn't ready. A heavy weight settled over me—a weight that I had been carrying with me for far too long. I needed to talk to her, to try and explain what I was feeling. I didn't really know how to talk about my feelings, but I was going to try.

"Diana," I began, my voice barely above a whisper as I struggled to find the right words. "There's something I need to tell you. Something that's been weighing on me for a while now."

She slid off me and looked up at me, her eyes filled with concern. I hated to burden her with my thoughts, but I needed her to know. I couldn't continue to deceive her with false assurances and half-truths. "What is it?" she asked.

"I'm worried," I confessed. "I'm worried that I might not be the right man for you."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, and I could see the uncertainty in her eyes. "What?"

"I don't think I'm the man that will make you happy," I said.

"Where is all this coming from?" she asked.

I wished with every fiber of my being that I could give her a clear answer. I didn't have the answer. "It's just that I can't shake this feeling of unworthiness," I explained.

"You are not unworthy," she said.

I struggled to articulate the turmoil raging within me. "Your father, he's a good man, Diana. A man of integrity and principle. If I had a daughter like you, I wouldn't want someone like me dating her."

I saw the shock register on her face. "What are you talking about?"

"I feel like a fraud, Diana," I continued, the words tumbling out in a rush. "I drink, I party, that's it. I'm not much deeper than that. You're brilliant, and kind, and an exceptional person. And I'm just… me. I've got more flaws than I can count. I've been in jail. My future is not bright. I have no real skills. I've never had a job. I bring nothing to the table. Well, money, but that's not enough. As they say, money cannot buy happiness."

She shook her head as she reached out to cup my face with her soft hand. "No," she breathed, her voice soft yet resolute. "You're so much more than that, Hudson. You're honest, and thoughtful, and strong, and capable. You're everything I've ever wanted in a partner."

I wanted to believe her—I truly did. But the doubts still lingered, the voices of insecurity and self-doubt whispering in the back of my mind. How could she see me as anything other than the flawed and broken man that I was?

"I'm not sure you can make me believe that," I admitted with a soft smile. "I'm not sure anyone can."

She silenced my protests with a soft kiss, her lips brushing against mine in a tender caress that sent shivers down my spine. "Don't give up on yourself, Hudson," she whispered. "I need you. I like you just the way you are."

She curled up against me, her head resting against my chest and her arms wrapped around me in a comforting embrace. I wished I could believe her. I wanted to be the man she thought I was. Even with her sweet words, I couldn't shake the feeling of inadequacy. Despite her reassurances, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't the man she deserved, that I wasn't good enough for her.

"Stop," she said.

"What?"

"I can hear your negative thoughts," she said. "Stop. You have to be louder than the little voice in the back of your mind telling you these things. We all have that voice, but we don't all have to listen to it. Shut that bitch up."

I chuckled. "I'll try."

"You may not believe it yet, but you are more than your flaws. You are a good man, Hudson. You just need to start believing it. I think that's part of your problem. You keep listening to that voice. You don't need to. Listen to me. I've spent my entire life waiting for someone like you. Here you are. Don't let your past steal you from what could be a very good future."

I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of her words beginning to lift. "You really think that?"

She nodded, her eyes never leaving mine. "Absolutely. And I'll help you. We'll work on this together. I'm right here."

I kissed her. "Thank you. I'll do better."