Chapter 40

DIANA

The ride to the airstrip was quiet. I really wasn't in the mood to talk. We boarded the plane that had become a second home to me over the last two weeks.

Hudson looked terrible. His skin was gray, and his eyes were bloodshot with heavy dark circles under them. He was a shell of the man I had spent the last two weeks with.

I watched him from my seat, an ache in my chest that had nothing to do with the sleepless night I endured. It was painful to see him like this, so different from the confident and charming man I had first met. I couldn't help but wonder what demons were haunting him, what past regrets were weighing him down.

As the plane took off, I stole glances at Hudson. He was lost in his own thoughts, a million miles away from me. It was like sitting with a stranger. This was not the Hudson I got to know.

There was serious tension between us, but neither of us seemed to know what to say to make it work.

"Is everything okay?" Hudson's voice broke through the silence, his gaze searching mine with a hint of concern.

I hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to broach the subject that had been weighing on my mind since last night. But I decided to be honest. I didn't want this hanging between us.

"I'm just a bit thrown by your lifestyle in the city," I admitted, my words careful and measured. I didn't want to come right out and tell him I thought he was reckless and self-destructive, but the implication was there. Hudson's expression hardened at my words, a flicker of defensiveness crossing his features before he schooled his features into a mask of neutrality.

"I know it's not what you're used to," he replied evenly, his voice tinged with a hint of irritation. "But this is just how things are in my world. It was a night out. We partied. I partied."

I bit back the retort that rose to my lips. "You partied a lot."

I could feel the tension in his body as he shifted in his seat. "I was upfront about it all, Diana. I never lied to you. I told you I liked to party. I never claimed to be a monk."

I nodded, acknowledging his words, but unable to shake the feeling of unease that lingered within me. "I know, but it's different when you see it up close and personal. I just, well, I've never seen that before. I wasn't really prepared to see it from you."

He frowned, his jaw tightening as he absorbed my words. "So, what are you saying? That you don't like who I am?"

The accusation in his tone stung. My own frustration rose. "No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just trying to explain how it makes me feel."

But he was on the defensive, unwilling to listen to what I was trying to say. I could see the hurt and frustration, but all I wanted was for him to understand where I was coming from.

"I'm not judging you, Hudson," I insisted. "I'm just trying to be honest about how I'm feeling."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration. "Well, I don't know what else to say. This is who I am, Diana. Take it or leave it. You knew I was flawed. Are you telling me I'm too flawed for you?"

I felt a lump form in my throat. I had hoped that we could have a mature conversation about our differences, but it seemed that he was unwilling to meet me halfway.

"I'm not asking you to change, Hudson," I said softly, reaching out to touch his hand. "I just want you to understand where I'm coming from."

He pulled away, his expression closed off and distant. I knew that our conversation had reached an impasse, that no amount of pleading or reasoning would change his mind.

I gazed out the window at the passing clouds and wondered if our differences were too great to overcome.

"My family might be tough on me, and I might complain about them from time to time, but they are my family," I said without looking at him. "I love them fiercely. Being with someone like you, someone whose lifestyle clashes so starkly with my parents, could jeopardize the relationships that mean everything to me."

I turned to look at him once again, hoping he would understand. But instead, he looked like he wanted to jump out of the plane.

"Are you telling me I'm not good enough for you because your dad is the mayor of Cold Springs?" he hissed. "I'm the bad influence from the wrong side of the tracks, right? You're just fucking around with me, but I'm never going to be the guy that fits into your perfect little world. Is that it?"

His words cut through me like a knife. I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I hadn't meant for it to come out like this, for him to think I was judging him based on his background. But the damage was done, our conversation escalating into a full-blown argument. The tension in the air was suffocating, each word we exchanged pushing us further apart.

The distance between us felt insurmountable. Hudson turned away from me, staring out of his window with a tight jaw and clenched fists.

"That's not what I meant," I said. "I was only trying to say my father already thinks so little of you. He doesn't want me with you. If he knew who you really were, he would exploit it."

Hudson's shoulders stiffened at my words, his grip on the armrests of his seat tightening. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he struggled to contain his emotions, his gaze fixed on the clouds outside the plane.

"I see," he finally said, his voice edged with bitterness. "So, it's not about me. It's about your family's approval. I'm too rotten, dirty, tainted, is that correct? The perfect, virginal daughter of the mayor is way too good for a fuck-up like me."

I opened my mouth to protest, to explain that it wasn't just about my family but about us and our future together. But the hurt and frustration in Hudson's eyes stopped me in my tracks. It was clear that he felt betrayed, as if all the moments we had shared meant nothing in the face of my family's disapproval. As the silence stretched between us, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The reality of our situation was stark and unforgiving. Everything I thought was happening between us just went up in smoke.

The rest of the flight passed in tense silence, with neither of us daring to broach the subject again. When we finally landed and stepped out of the plane, it was clear we weren't going to be going anywhere together.

I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. Maybe I should have held my tongue, kept my doubts and insecurities to myself. After all, Hudson had gone out of his way to show me a good time, to introduce me to his world in New York City. And now, instead of feeling grateful for his efforts, I felt like I had ruined everything.

He must think I was incredibly ungrateful. After everything he did for me, after all the time and money he spent, I had repaid him with doubt and uncertainty. It wasn't fair, and I couldn't shake the feeling of guilt.

"I'll take you home," he said.

"No. I'll get home."

"Fine."

I wanted to reach out, to apologize for my part in our argument, but the words stuck in my throat. Whether it was pride or guilt, I didn't know, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

When I got home, all I could think about was everything I said wrong. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut, kept my doubts and fears to myself. But now, it was too late for regrets. The cat was out of the bag. There was no un-ringing that bell.

I unpacked, tossing a load of laundry into the washer and setting aside my new dress Hudson had been so generous to buy me. It was dry-clean only. I stared at the dress and thought about the moment he bought it for me. He was so generous and kind and I insulted him.

Once I was settled back in the comfort of my own home, I decided to call Rachel, to let her know I was back safely.

"Hey, Rachel, it's me," I said, trying to sound cheerful despite the shitty mood I found myself in.

"Diana! I thought maybe you decided to stay gone forever!" Rachel exclaimed. "How was your trip? Tell me everything!"

I hesitated for a moment, unsure of how much to reveal about my time in New York City with Hudson.

"It was amazing," I replied. "We visited Cambodia and saw the ancient temples, and then we flew to Egypt to see the pyramids. It was like something out of a dream. It's so much better in person. We went to Edinburgh and saw the famous castle, which was so cool. The history was just so amazing."

"Wow, that sounds incredible! I'm so jealous. And what about New York City? Did you have a good time there too?"

I hesitated, my mind flashing back to the chaos and confusion of our final night in the city. "It was good. I met his family. Well, probably half of them. I'm not sure all of them could fit into one house."

She laughed. "Really?"

"Oh yeah." I smiled, remembering the family. "You would not believe these people. They are all so good-looking and so rich."

"Really?"

"Yes. His extended family owns several businesses and real estate. It is incredible. And did I tell you they are all attractive? Like GQ attractive. It was so intimidating. It was like standing in a room with a group of models."

"Did you get along with them?" she asked.

"It was a bit overwhelming, to be honest. They were all very welcoming and polite. The wives were regular people."

"Regular people." She laughed.

"They live in a different world, you know? A world with private jets and designer clothes. If they want to grab dinner in Paris, they hop on their jet and off they go."

Rachel chuckled. "I can only imagine."

"I felt like I was a ragamuffin he picked up on the street," I muttered.

She laughed. "I doubt that. I'm sure they were impressed by you too."

"I think I screwed up," I whispered. The confession was barely audible.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

I hesitated, wondering whether to divulge the events that transpired in New York. "We had a disagreement on our last evening there. Things got a little heated."

Her tone turned serious. "What happened?"

I took a deep breath and recounted the argument, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as I shared the details with Rachel. She listened intently as I poured out my soul.

"I didn't mean for it to escalate like that," I confessed.

"It sounds like there were some hurt feelings on both sides," Rachel said. "Maybe it's a good thing that it came to the surface. Communication is key in any relationship, you know."

"I just hope he can forgive me."

"If he truly cares about you, he will," she reassured me. "Just give it some time. And remember, relationships are a two-way street. It's not all on you to make things right."

"I don't know what happens when he goes back to New York," I said. "I feel like I'm going to lose him to that life again."

"Talk to him," she said. "Don't let him go back without a fight."