6. Nora / Wes

SIX

You knowyou're going crazy when ideas you would have laughed at a while ago start to sound sane.

When Elle demands that we go out to a party at one of the frat houses off campus, you know it's serious. Elle is the last person I expect to want to go to a party on a random night. But she's my best friend, so it's hard to say no to her when she blinks up at me and Cat with her round doe eyes and begs us to go.

"Party, party, party!" Elle is screaming louder than anyone in this joint, and Cat and I can't stop laughing. The fact that we've been here less than an hour and this is the kind of vibe we're on pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the night. "Are you animals ready to party?!"

"Jesus, what have you taken?" I ask, pulling on her arm as she tries to drag me into the dance floor for the fifth time. Her eyes are wide and slightly red as she stares back at me with a loopy grin. "Are you high?"

"What? No!"

"I mean, it's not a problem if you are. I kinda want a hit if you have some on you," I murmur, bumping my shoulder into hers. Cat rolls her eyes, pulling on both of our arms until we stand in some weird three-way circle.

"Okay, then what's going on?" Cat asks Elle, her eyebrows furrowed with concern. "It's not like you to want to go out on a Saturday night. This must be a new world record."

Elle rolls her eyes. "Don't freak out…" Obviously, I start to freak out. I'm practically bouncing on my heels, desperately waiting for her to say something. "I'm looking for a hookup or something. Well, anything, really. A kiss, atthe very least. I might even settle for a peck."

Cat and I start screeching at the same time, holding onto Elle's shoulders as we all jump around in a circle. You'd think she just told us she's about to get married, but these are the kind of small victories that we need right now. Elle's been swearing off the opposite sex for as long as I can remember, and it's about time that she gets some.

"I love this for you, Elle-Belle. We're going to do some real wing-woman shit tonight," I say, winking at her. "Trust us."

Cat sighs. "Well, Nora might have to take the lead on this one. I can feel Connor looking at me from here, and I know he's going to be miserable if I don't dance with him for a bit," she says. We all look over our shoulders to spot Connor with his eyes directly on Cat, Wes, Sam, and Oli standing beside him. They're like a pack of wolves. "Besides, he'll probably be leaving early, anyway. I'll catch up with you guys in a while, don't worry."

With that, she disappeared into Connor's arms, and I had to stop myself from throwing up. His arms are wrapped around her waist, dangerously close to her ass, and he's whispering something into her ear as he walks her backward into the space in the living room where people are dancing. Wes's eyes lock with mine, and he sticks his finger into his mouth, pretending to gag, and I can't help but snort. He just winks at me before grabbing Sam and Oli to walk around.

I turn back around to Elle. "So, where do you want to start? Do you have a type?"

She bites on her bottom lip. "I haven't really thought about it, but someone tall, strong, with dark features, funny, doesn't hate the fact that I have such a busy schedule."

"Okay, slow your horses, girl. You just want someone you can make out with, right?" She nods. "Right, so you don't need to plan out your whole future. Hell, maybe I should even take some of my own advice. Anyway, you're probably looking for something casual, which means you have a better chance with some of the assholes in here. You don't want to end up with someone like–"

Her eyes widen. "Ryan."

"Exactly," I say, my stomach knotting at the thought of him. "You don't want to end up with someone like him. He'll latch onto you like a snake, suck all the blood out of you, and just leave you there to dry. You do not want that. People like–"

"Ryan."

I laugh. "Yes, Ryan, we have established the devil"s name. We don't need to keep repeating it. What I'm saying is–"

"No, Nora, I mean, he's right behind you," she whispers.

I get a weird twinge in my heart at her words, so I turn around slowly.

Yup. Ryan Valla is standing behind me, hands shoved in his pockets, his all-black outfit making the butterflies in my stomach strangely reappear. I thought they were dead and gone and buried, but apparently not. And he's fucking smirking at me.

"Nora," he greets, "Glad to know my name is still in your mouth."

"Unfortunately," I retort. I'm not going to let him get under my skin again.

"You always liked having your mouth full, didn"t you? I could only shut you up in a way that benefited the both of us." His voice is so slow and taunting and just annoyingly sexy. He should not be allowed to make me feel like this. No one should be allowed to make me feel like this unless they're fictional and not able to hurt me. He's playing his signature push-and-pull game.

Elle clears her throat. "Yeah, I'm just going to… I'm just going to go... Away from whatever the fuck this is. I'll see you later, Nor."

My eyes flash to hers.

Traitor, my eyes scream.

Deal with it, hers say.

Before I can beg her to stay and not leave me alone with this monster, she runs away. I can't blame her because my feet aren't moving either. Why the fuck aren't I moving?

"Look, Nor, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to talk to you," Ryan says, scratching the back of his neck.

"Well, we're starting rehearsals next week, so we can talk then," I say, smiling tightly.

He shrugs. "Don't think it can wait until then."

I don't know when he started to walk closer to me. I also don't know when I started to walk further back into the wall. We have got to stop bumping into each other like this. The perks of dating someone in the same social circle as you, I guess. He just turns up everywhere that I am and manages to make me feel like I'm sixteen again, and he just kissed me for the first time.

"Okay," I breathe out. Maybe if he says what he needs to say now, we can pretend to like each other during rehearsals, and all will be well. He stares at me for a long moment, not saying anything, his eyes ping-ponging between mine. I get agitated under his gaze immediately. "Spit it out, then."

He takes in a deep breath. "I wasn't going to say anything, but I miss you so much, Nor. Like, so fucking much. Can't you feel this energy still between us?"

"If you mean utter hatred, then yeah, sure." I laugh despite the tears that prick at my eyes. "You're stupider than I thought."

He shakes his head. "I'm not."

"You are," I say, placing one hand on his chest so he can stop coming so close to me. "You're pretending, Ryan. It's what you do. This doesn't mean anything to you. I don't mean anything to you, and I'm sick of being played like a fucking puppet."

"Who said that?" he asks. Is he fucking serious? He blinks at me. Oh, he's serious.

"You did," I shout, "When you were fucking another girl at the party I planned for you. That I did just for you because I- I loved you, you asshole. And you were constantly doing things to hurt me, and for what? You strung me along, and I fell for it."

He shakes his head violently, breathing heavily. That's when I can smell the alcohol on his breath, and I try to step further away from him. He turns into such an asshole when he's drunk.

"What? You don't love me anymore?" he asks as if that's the main point of what I just said.

I take in a deep breath, wishing every stupid thought could leave his brain. That way, he'd have nothing else to say. "You treated me like shit, Ryan. After all the times you apologized, I went right back to you because you promised you would make it up to me, but you can't fix it now. It's over. We're over. We have been for months."

I'm so sick of this back-and-forth. Feeling like he wants me one second and that he doesn't want me the other. It's two steps forward and three steps back with this guy. I don't want that anymore. I want security. I want assurance that someone is always going to have my back, no matter what. Not whatever the fuck this is.

With whatever strength I have left, I close my eyes, push at his chest, and whisper, "Just go."

His eyes flicker. "Nora, please, I–"

I've gotten to the point where my eyes are shut so tight I can only see darkness and then hear the gruffness of another male voice. "She told you to go, bud."

This was not part of today's plans. Sure, I might have fantasized about ripping Ryan's head off whilst he screams hysterically before dunking it into a bucket of bleach, but that's usually for a late night when I need to blow off some steam, not for mediocre parties like these.

Nora looks fucking frightened, which scares me because she's one of the toughest people I know. There's no fear of him in her eyes, but it's almost like she doesn't trust herself to be alone with him. She ran back to him countless times after he broke her heart. How he tried to put it back together like a Band-Aid over a bullet hole. I know she'd do just about anything for him, but when he's all up in her face and she's telling him to leave, he needs to learn how to take the fucking hint.

Ryan turns, almost completely covering Nora with his body. "Are you fucking serious?"

"What? Got a problem with people telling you no?" I ask, inching towards him. He can act all tough now, but I know he's the same guy who exaggerated a British accent after spending a summer in London. "She told you to leave, so leave."

"We're talking, Wes, relax. You've always loved interrupting our conversations. Is there something I've been missing this whole time?"

He flickers his gaze between the two of us. Nora's shoulders are shaking now, the rest of her body frozen in place. I clench my jaw, waiting to see if he's got something else to say. He's always had it out for me, and honestly, I can't blame him. I care enough about Nora and the boundaries in our friendship to know I can't exactly tell her to break up with her boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I can't coincidentally turn up in places that I know they're in.

When he doesn't say anything and when I don't respond, I finally say, "Leave."

He reeks of alcohol, and I can't bear to look at this sorry excuse for a person anymore. He finally made his way across the room, and I let out a breath of relief. I do not want to be caught up in a fight right now. That alone would be enough for my dad to kick me off the team.

When my eyes focus back on Nora, she's just… Staring at a spot on my shirt. Shit. Do I have a stain or something? I look down. Nope. All good in that department.

I press two fingers under her chin, urging her to look up at me. God, she's so pretty. Even like this, seconds away from breaking down, she's still the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. Her brown eyes shimmer and my words come out breathy because of the weird stutter my heart does.

"You okay, Sunshine?" The second the words leave my mouth, her whole face crumbles as she covers her face with her hands. Sharp sobs rip through her, and her shoulders shake. Instantly, I wrap my arms around her, pulling her right into my chest. "Hey, you're okay. You're okay."

Fuck.

What do I do?

Am I supposed to call Connor over here to help his sister out? Or is this the sort of best friend thing you do? Where the fuck is Elle? I look over Nora's head, frantically searching for her. I spot her next to Oliver, laughing insanely loudly. If she's trying to flirt with Oli, she'd have better luck getting more action from a rock. Oli is as clueless as they come when it comes to girls.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought. Strange girl, she is. Even stranger? Nora Bailey sobbing in my arms at a party. This is exactly her scene. The place where she comes to life. Not the place where she falls apart.

"I've got you, Stargirl," I murmur, and she only starts to cry harder. I'm really not cut out for this. I can barely handle my own emotions, never mind someone else's.

As soothing as I thought my words were, she shakes her head. "I'm not okay. I'm really not okay, Wes. Everything keeps going wrong."

"It's okay not to be okay." I swallow back the emotion in my throat at her words. "Tell you why?"

She leans up off me, only enough to rest her chin on my chest. God, my heart might explode. Or my ribs might combust. I don't fucking know. But she's looking up at me with those wet lashes, that sweet mouth, that cute as fuck pink nose, and it's like my entire world stops. Fucking hell. I need some medical attention or some shit.

"Because nobody is one hundred percent okay all the time. If anyone says they are, they're lying. You're a good actress, Nora, but you're not that good. I can see right through you, you know," I explain, smiling softly as I tap her on the forehead. "And when you're not okay, you can tell me. I don't want you crying over him or how he makes you feel. He doesn't deserve it."

She nods, stepping away from me to wipe her face with both of her hands. "Thank you," she says, sniffling. "You've had some weirdly wise vibes lately, and it's freaking me out. It's like you always know the exact right thing to say."

I shrug. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just saying the right thing for you." I look around us, and when I see Cat and Connor, now with Elle and Oli, I reach out for Nora's hand. "Come on, Sunshine. Let's get out of here."

After a quick runthe grocery store, buying some serving spoons and a tub of strawberry ice cream (her choice), we're sitting on the hood of my car in the parking lot, silently enjoying each other"s company. I don't even like strawberry ice cream, but I was almost ninety percent sure that she'd start crying again if she didn't get her way.

Nora bumps her shoulder into mine, stealing another huge spoonful from the tub. "Well," she whistles, sighing. "That was awkward."

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What was?"

"Me, crying just then," she says, swallowing the ice cream.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. She notices my annoyance because she pulls the tub out of my lap and places it between her legs instead, guarding it with her life. I press my hands against the cold metal on either side of me, tilting my head up to the sky. For one of the first times, I can actually make out a few stars in the sky.

"Don't do that, Nor," I murmur, tilting my head down.

"Do what?"

"Don't downplay your feelings. You don't have to do that with me. We can joke around, but you know that beneath it, I'm here for you, okay? Like, always," I say. We might have known each other forever, but there are some parts of herself that I feel like she hides from me. It's fair enough. We're in college now. We're not going to share every moment with each other, but sometimes, I wish she would.

"I know," she replies, pushing around the ice cream that's starting to melt. "And I'm here for you, too."

"Great, glad that's all cleared up." She rolls her eyes. I smile. "So, what's the next step for you since you didn't get the part you wanted in the musical?"

She points the spoon in my face, ice cream dripping off it right onto my car. "How did you know about that?"

"I'm not an idiot. You wouldn't be able to shut up if you got the part you wanted, and you've not spammed my phone since the audition list came out, so just connecting the dots," I say simply, shrugging. Her eyes narrow. I lean forward and steal the melting ice cream from the spoon, keeping my eyes locked with her brown ones. Something flashes in her eyes as I do, but I pull away, and she drops the spoon into the tub.

"To be honest," she starts, tucking her hair behind her ear, displaying that fucking tattoo that I can't get enough of. "My mind is constantly spinning, so I don't know what I need to do next. I can't focus on anything, knowing that he's the lead. I just…" She closes her hands into tiny fists, and I almost choke from trying not to laugh. "I just want to hurt him like how he hurt me. He's constantly playing with my head. And I've got all this pent-up anger in me, and it's destroying me. I want to get him back, you know?"

She turns to me, a confident spark in her eyes. Fuck me if it doesn't turn me on. Maybe I'm just desperate for some action because there's no way I'm getting hot under the collar over Nora Bailey.

Sure, there's been the odd time when she's shown up to our games in my jersey, and I've thought about taking it off her, but that's completely unrelated. I've also been around when I crashed at her dorm one night after a party, and she woke up in the middle of the night, walking into the kitchen with nothing but tiny shorts and a tank top. No bra. She didn't see me because I was supposed to be asleep on the couch, but I didn't sleep a wink that night.

Fuck.

Maybe that time she kissed me to get back at Ryan really did a number on me.

I clear my throat as if that's going to shake the thoughts in my head. "Hate to break it to you, but you sound like a psychopath."

She groans, a tiny furious noise leaving her lips in a snarl. "That's what I mean. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy." Her hands are still balled into little fists at her sides, her knuckles digging into the metal.

"No, carry on. I like it when you're angry. It's hot as fuck." Yep. I just said that. And those words are definitely going to bite me in the ass later.

"Whatever," she says, rolling her eyes. An easy ‘thank you' would also suffice. "What are your plans then? The season is going well, right?"

"Yeah, it's fine for now. It's too early to tell, but I'm not expecting us to carry a huge win this year. The team's not gelling like usual. We lost some vital players at the end of last year," I explain, somehow feeling responsible. Things like this just happen. As much as I love playing football, I can't see myself going pro. It was a dream when I was a kid, but I don't live and breathe it like Connor does. A part of me thinks I never did. "Apart from that, I've got nothing else going on. For once."

Nora hums. "No new girl you want to take for a spin?"

I bark out a laugh. "You're making me sound like an asshole. I don't sleep around that much, Nor."

"You're a commitmentphobe. That's okay," she coos, patting my thigh.

"I'm not," I say, swatting her hand away from me. Her hand doesn't need to be anywhere near my junk, or Lieutenant Benson is going to get confused. I might get confused. "You just love commitment too much."

"Oh, I'm sorry I don't love the idea of someone leaving me," she argues.

"Oh, I'm sorry I don't love the idea of being stuck with someone forever," I challenge.

She rocks her shoulder into mine again. "Come on, you can't possibly believe that." I scoff, giving her my answer. Nora shakes her head. "You'll find someone you'll never get sick of, and you'll want to see them all the time, even when you close your eyes. There will be someone you want to do all the boring stuff with, and you'll never get bored of them. When that happens, I'm going to be right here to say I told you so."

I don't know when the lump appeared in my throat, but I'm suddenly finding it hard to swallow. I've always thought that I wouldn't be enough for someone to stay with me instead of the other way around. There"s no way someone would want to stick around me forever. I could easily become attached to people, and there's nothing special enough about me that would have anyone feeling the same way I do.

"We'll see," I finally say.