32. Wes

THIRTY-TWO

I thoughtthat discussing girl troubles — if you can even call it that — with my friends would mean that I'd get something out of it. Maybe they'd bless me with some life-changing advice and help me figure out the girl I can't stop thinking about. But they don't.

I don't think Archer has ever been in a real relationship in his life, so maybe he was the wrong person to go to for help, but he's my only option.

"Does she like you?" Archer asks, shoving a nacho into his mouth. Connor isn't the only person who can work his way around the kitchen. Archer and I have managed to make a few decent snacks over the last few months, and our skills come in handy when we want to chill and watch the game, like tonight. Connor's out on a date with Cat, and we'll probably hear them stumbling in later tonight, giggling like teenagers.

"Well, considering the fact that she asked me to kiss her twice, and I shut her down, then yeah," I say.

"Why'd you shut her down?"

I sigh, tilting my head back on the couch. "I didn't want her to make a mistake. I didn't want her to jump right into this just because I've been obsessed with her for years. It was hard to tell if she wanted me or if she was just turned on and I was there."

Archer hums. "That"s fair. So, what's changed?"

I explained to him the whole situation we had in Denver and the elevator fiasco, leaving out the part about me palming her boobs and how I almost came just from touching her. We've been in this weird purgatory state since we came back, and I have no clue how to move on from it. I want her for real. I've wanted her for real since the day I met her, and now I finally have the chance. This is my opening.

"Sounds like you've got a lot on your hands," Archer says.

"Gee, that's helpful. Thank you," I grumble.

"What do you want me to say? You guys clearly have a thing for each other. I say fuck and get it over with."

"That's not going to solve anything, you idiot. I need to talk to her," I say, getting agitated.

"Then talk to her and quit fucking around." I'm about to throw another snarky comment his way, but my phone starts to ring beside me.

My dad's laid off me recently, and my mom has been busy editing her upcoming book, so I'm not expecting either of them to call me. My chest warms when I see Nora's contact fill the screen. I answer, pressing the phone to my ear, ready for her voice to soothe me.

"Wes?"

"Hey, Sunshine. What's up?"

A sharp inhale on the other side of the phone has the hairs on my neck standing up. "I need you."

"What?" I choke out. This doesn't sound like the same girl who was playing with puppies in my backyard a few days ago.

"I need you to come over," she says, her voice watery and strained. "No one's home, and I— I need you, Wes. Please, can you come over?"

I stand to my feet, not bothering to explain anything to Archer, as I grab my jacket from the rack near the door. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"No. I just–" A sharp sob rips through her, and I unlock the front door. "I just really need you here."

"It's okay, baby. I'm coming."

My heart thrashesagainst my ribs as I pass multiple speed limits as I try to get to her. I instantly regret moving out of the dorms and into a house off campus because if she needs me like this, I need to get to her immediately. I can't be fucking around worrying about speed limits when I need to be with her.

I take the stairs three at a time when I get to her building and push through the door when I get there. Thank god for spare keys. I frantically search around the living room area and I don't find her. My pulse hammers under my skin when I get to her bedroom door, swinging it open.

Nora's sitting on the floor surrounded by the mess that was her room. Her clothes and books are lying around her, jewelry scattered everywhere. Worst of all, she's still crying.

I rush down to her, holding her damp face up to me.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's going on?" She's still crying, her eyes shut tight as if she's trying to make me disappear. "It's okay. Just breathe for me." She takes in a deep breath, her shoulders shaking on the exhale. "Yeah. That"s it. Take your time."

I wait for her to calm down, rubbing my hand against her cheek as she nestles her face into my palm. Her eyes droop. "It's gone, Wes."

"What's gone?"

"The necklace. The one my dad gave me. The— The one with the star. I'm such a fucking idiot, and it's probably in the middle of New York somewhere, and I'm never going to get it back. I wear it so much that I never check that I still have it. It's just always there, and now… It's not. I'm never going to find it."

"Hey, don't say that," I say softly, swiping the tears from under her eyes. "We'll look for it."

"I've already looked!"

"Did you call me over here to shout at me or for me to help you?" She just blinks at me and I drop my forehead to hers. "Here's what we're going to do. You're going to go in the shower and relax. Don't stress or worry about it and I"ll look for it. If I can't find it, we'll both look again in the morning with a fresh set of eyes and a clearer mind. You're panicked, and you're scared. You're not going to be able to find anything if you're running on fumes." I watch her take a deep breath. "Have you eaten?"

"I- I had an early dinner, but since then, I've been looking, so I haven't had anything."

"Okay, I"m going to order us some food. Is pizza good?"

"Yeah." She nods. Once. Twice. "Yeah, pizza"s good."

"Look at me, pretty girl." I tilt her chin up so I can see her eyes. They're still filled with tears, red and worn out. "We"re going to find it. Okay? And you're going to get your pizza, and then we're going to go to sleep, and it's all going to be okay."

"Okay."

In the time it takes her to shower, I manage to get the food delivered and have looked around her room twice. I know she's taking the time to calm down, but I'm left here freaking out. I feel like such an idiot for not paying more attention. I should have known that it was gone. I spend so much time thinking about her and trying to commit her to memory, and I don't remember the last time I saw her with it on.

When I've concluded my search for the second time, I start reorganizing her room again. I've been in here enough times to know where things go, but I still feel helpless. I feel like I should be doing more. Because I can't deal with the painfully sad look on her face when she comes out of the bathroom in pink biker shorts and an oversized white shirt. We eat mostly in silence on the floor of her room, and I don't know what to say to break the awkwardness. I'm still running on fumes, but I don't want to say the wrong thing.

After we've eaten and I've thrown away the trash, I walk back into Nora's room to find her in her bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. She seems so fragile like this. Like if I try to reach out to her, she'll break.

"Hey," I murmur, kneeling onto the bed to sit beside her. "You're okay."

She shakes her head, burying it into her knees before she turns to me, fresh tears lining her eyes. "I'm going to fuck everything up."

"Fuck what up?" I ask gently, bringing my hand to rub small circles on her back.

"Everything," she sobs. "I keep making stupid mistakes. I keep messing things up and I'm constantly knocking myself back down. I can't get any sort of acting gig. I can't even hold on to the one thing that I thought I'd never lose. Whenever I think I"m at a high, something else happens, and I'm pushed right back to where I started. And I know everyone says that it gets better, but what if it doesn't? What if I'm destined to have short-lived moments of happiness just for it to vanish? What if none of it is permanent?" She takes a deep breath. "And it's me, Wes. No one else is doing this. It's quite literally all my fault, and I'm just going to keep doing shit like this until there's nothing left of me."

My heart breaks for her. I don't know how many times I have to tell her that she's special. That she's got something good. That she has an abundance of talents and I'm just lucky enough to be in her orbit. I've never been good with words, and I don't know how to help her. To get her to see herself the way I see her. The way I've always seen her.

"Stars still shine after they die, Nora," I whisper.

She sniffles. "But what if I don't?"

"But what if you do?"

I don't know what it is about my words that makes her break down, but she's sobbing harder again. I pull her into me. She wraps her arms around me, and I fall onto my back. Nora's body feels so natural against mine that I just let her mold into me. Become one with me. I run my hands through her hair, waiting for the storm to pass. She lets me hold her like this, soothing her as much as I can. When her cries soften and her breathing steadies, I trail my finger up and down her spine.

"Hey, Wes?" she whispers into the comfortable silence.

"Hey, Nora."

"You're a star too." My chest tightens at her words, making it extremely fucking difficult to breathe. I force myself to exhale when she peers up at me, her body still wrapped around mine. I don't get any words out and continue running my finger down her spine. "You might just be my star, but you're the brightest one. You're more like the sun. I orbit around you, Wes. Just you."

I wait for the words to come, but they don't. Just looking at her has all my words scrambled and my heart beating so fast that it might as well fall right out of my chest. I just press my lips to her forehead, sealing the moment because being the sun in Nora Bailey's eyes isn't something I can put into words.