22. Adam

I'd grown up wealthy. In fact, I'd grown up very wealthy. Archer Summers was on a different level.

While her three siblings had carried on the family line, Archer herself had focused on overhauling the inner workings of our community. Simultaneously, she'd furthered the family wealth by means of smart decisions and a network that extended into the top layers of non-magical business circles. Cassandra worshipped the hell out of her.

As our car drew to a halt outside the grand manor, Gale fidgeted beside me, his discomfort rolling off him in waves. I kicked his foot. "Game face on. You're a Harrington, and you're above them all."

"That's such a load of rubbish," Gale muttered.

"What Adam means," Cassandra told him, "is that it's not about fitting in. It's about acting like you can't be bothered to even try."

Ironic, wasn't it? When we'd picked her up precisely to fulfil expectations that she and I would arrive together.

"Because you and I are prime examples of that," I said, and she shot me a tiny smile, regal in a night blue gown that wouldn't have been out of place at a movie premiere.

"Ah, but babe, we are excellent at pretending we can't be bothered."

"Emphasis on pretending."

We stepped out of the car to the sweet, heavy scent of roses in full bloom that wafted over from the gardens. Fire columns lit the gravel drive, the manor looming like an old behemoth of stone and history. The chatter and laughter of other arriving guests veiled an underlying tension—while violence was vehemently prohibited, Summers' annual gala acted as a forum where the magical elite refined its hierarchy. Here, alliances could form and end.

"Shall we?" Cassandra asked crisply, head already tilted at a haughty angle.

I offered her my arm. "Let the games begin."

With Gale on my other side, we made our way towards the grand entrance and into a foyer that spelled understated elegance. Winding staircases that met at the top led up to a ballroom that came with high ceilings, tall windows, and black-and-white geometric flooring.

I spotted Liam as soon as we entered. He was in the upper gallery with Laurie, both of them dressed like they belonged and talking amongst themselves as if they had not a care in the world. Good. ‘Don't hug the walls,' I'd advised. ‘Get high, be visible. It projects confidence, and that's what it's all about. If you don't know what to do with your hands, get a glass to hold onto.'

Alaric Hartley, who'd arrived separately from his daughter, was already holding court in the centre of the room. We stopped for a few words even as part of my attention lingered on Gale, a quiet shadow beside me, and I scanned the crowd for possible reactions to Liam's presence. New faces were rare at Summers' gala, the Morgans the only family to have scored a first-time invitation in the past four years.

Cassandra nudged me just in time to catch the tail end of Alaric's question about how the Initiative was coming along.

"Excellent," I told him. Flowers, suspended in mid-air, slowly rotated above our heads and made me feel just the slightest bit dizzy if I looked at them for too long. "We're making good progress on all three sites. A few things to puzzle out, of course, which is to be expected given the amount of innovative solutions we're integrating."

"I hear it's going well with the Morgans?" he asked, and here was my chance to place another subtle hint that they were prime candidates for an alliance, get in there while you can.

"Yes." After a glance at our surroundings, I lowered my voice. "They've proven to be unexpectedly competent."

Alaric pursed his mouth, clever eyes studying me for any change in my expression. "Competent?"

I hesitated as though I wasn't sure how much to reveal. Then I leaned closer. "It appears we've underestimated them."

"Hmm." That was the extent of Alaric's commentary, his attention briefly flicking to Liam and Laurie. I didn't double down and instead directed the conversation towards lighter topics before Cassandra, Gale, and I moved on.

When I suggested we make our way up to the gallery, Cassandra placed a hand on my arm, leaning in with a wide smile as though I'd said something vastly charming. "You're serious about this?" she asked in an undertone.

Yes. I was fully aware of what message it would send to the assembled crowd if we sought Liam out instead of the other way around. It wouldn't lower our standing, no—both our families were firmly established. But it would mark the Morgans as potential equals.

"I am, yes." I returned her smile. "Please?"

She nodded, expression light, something heavy and thoughtful in her gaze. "Of course. As long as you know what you're doing."

"I do," I lied. Truth was that I had no fucking clue—I'd kicked off from the shore and was swimming for ever-deeper waters without a life jacket or compass. But whatever I could do to protect Liam and the rest of his family? I'd do it, and then some.

"Good," she said softly.

I turned to Gale. Other than a mumbled thanks at one of the waiters, he hadn't said a word since we'd left the car, but he stood with his shoulders rolled back and his chin tipped up. ‘You're a Harrington—you look up to no one.' We'd both heard it too many times to count.

"All right with you?" I asked him, and he nodded.

"You know I'm with you."

I was bloody lucky, wasn't I? If not for Cassandra and Gale, I might have gone raving mad a long time ago.

We made our way up to the second level, greeting people here and there, but didn't stop until we reached Liam and Laurie. Her full-length gown looked lovely on her, but it was Liam who stole my breath. I'd seen the suit before, of course, had talked him into buying it because the blue silk sheen was perfect for him—but now that it had been adjusted to fit him just so, and coupled with how he held himself like nothing could touch him, just let them try? God. He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen.

"Liam," Cassandra said, her tone light. "Laurie. How are you enjoying your first taste of the piranha pond?"

I realised I was staring right as Liam's focus moved off me, his eyes a hint dark. Ah. So I wasn't the only one, and I remembered what I'd sent him earlier—‘only got this suit so you can take it off me later.' I'd almost added that sometimes, I wished I wasn't me so we didn't have to play hide and seek, but I'd ended up deleting the words instead of sending them. Too much. It was good we weren't immediately on display, Liam's back to the crowd, me slightly removed from the railing.

"Fishy," Laurie said with a toss of her hair. "Lots of toothy smiles."

"The better to eat you with," Gale spoke up, surprising me. But then, he knew both Liam and Laurie from when he'd worked on building the Morgans' new office, and they'd become friends of sorts.

"Feels a bit like it," Laurie agreed. "I know this isn't twenty years ago when it was all about survival of the fittest, but I'm not sure that everyone here got the memo."

"Old habits die hard," I told her, stepping up next to Liam so I was easily visible from below.

"To be fair"—Cassandra joined me—"it's been a while since anything escalated into blood, sweat, and tears. I think the last time was about a year ago, wasn't it? When the Aldergraves and the Silvers competed for the same mansion."

True. The Silvers had won the fight, but the mansion had needed extensive restoration. It had been one of the first jobs I'd overseen.

"Well, we're not planning to nab anyone's mansion," Liam said. It gave me an excuse to glance over and send him a smile.

"We'll make sure to spread the word."

"See that you do." His eyes were dancing, and God, I wanted him. We'd made plans for me to join him later, stay over so we could discuss the evening over breakfast with his family.

Later was hours away, though. Too bloody long.

As a regular at Summers' galas, I knew this manor. I'd been seventeen the first time I'd attended, far worse at faking indifference and struggling to spot the hidden layers to people's words and actions. The second time had been just weeks after my mum's death. I hadn't wanted to come, and when I'd been ordered to put in an appearance anyway, I'd snuck out halfway through and had spent an hour wandering the gardens smoking, because I'd been good at rebelling in small, insignificant ways even as I fell in line where it mattered. I still did.

The point was, I knew this manor. I knew that security prevented anyone from venturing too far along its stairs and hallways, also knew that the toilets accessible to guests were too frequented to grant any privacy. But the gardens were a different matter—no one stopped guests from rambling between rose hedges and the ancient trees of an arboretum, from following the winding paths to the lily pond.

We could steal away for a few minutes. They wouldn't even notice we were gone.

* * *

I whistled softly.

Liam drew to a halt. Then he turned towards me, his teeth flashing in a grin which caught second-hand brightness that spilled from the manor onto the lawn. It didn't reach the alcove I'd come across years ago, tucked into the shade of a balcony, plants climbing up to the left and right.

"How the hell did you even find this?" Liam took an unhurried step towards me when I wanted him close, closer.

"Residual teenage angst and an overwhelming desire to be alone for a little while," I told him.

"Solid reasons." Another step, his face slightly clearer since my eyes had already adjusted to the night. I'd asked him to give me a three-minute head start, ‘take the back exit and turn left once you come down the stairs, then follow the path around the building. I'll see you coming.' It had felt like an eternity.

"I'd like to think so." I was not going to ask him to hurry the fuck up and let me touch him—I was not. "Quit stalling and come here already."

Well.

"Thought you'd never ask." A smile shone in his voice, and he finally deigned to close the gap between us. I pulled him into my space, buried both hands in his hair, and nudged our mouths together. He opened immediately—not so stubborn now, are you?—as his hands slid under my suit jacket, flattening against my back to draw me closer. Hips knocking together, and fuck, this was dangerous—the irrational need bubbling in my chest as though it had been days rather than hours, fuelled by pretending he meant so much less to me than he did.

Minutes lost to the wet slide of our mouths. After a cloudy morning, the day had turned hot, the taste of summer lingering in the air. Maybe we could take another trip to the beach house soon, just us and the waves.

"Could get you in my bed every night," I told Liam after mentioning the idea, between biting kisses that might leave our lips looking just a little bruised. "Wake up with you too."

"I'm already in your bed most nights," he said, mouth curving up under mine.

It was true—more nights than not, we ended up at my city flat. In my head, I'd begun labelling the right side of the bed as his. The thought lodged itself sideways in my throat, and I squashed it.

"For the record"—I cupped him through his suit trousers, my voice low—"you look great tonight. And you better fuck me later. Promise I'll be quiet so your family won't hear us."

"Your mouth should come with a warning sign." Liam's chuckle was hardly more than a gust of air. Then his magic slid down my back and dipped warm between my arse cheeks. I closed my eyes against the rush of blood in my ears, dropping my head onto his shoulder.

"Christ, Liam." It came out as a harsh whisper, fumbling for words as I held onto him. "I am this close to begging you to take me right here."

Liam sucked in a breath. "Bad idea."

I swallowed and raised my head, just enough light for me to meet his eyes. "I know," I agreed and sounded like I had no clue what that even meant.

"Terrible, terrible idea," he murmured, unclear if it was me or himself he was trying to convince.

"I know."

He sighed and leaned our foreheads together, breath mingling between us, the sweet heaviness of roses and lavender in the air. I love you. The words pressed up against the back of my throat. I swallowed against the sudden taste of metal and stayed quiet. My heart was hammering against my ribs, so loud that I was sure he could hear it.

Somewhere along the path, gravel crunched.

We startled apart, shadows between us. Voices carried on in a murmured conversation, a man and a woman, moving further into the gardens and away from our hiding place.

Liam's sigh was so soft I almost missed it. "We should head back."

"We should," I agreed and reached for him, holding on like he might float away if I didn't. "You head back the way you came, I take the long way around?"

"Yeah, all right. You may have to let me go first, though." The words were laced with fond amusement.

"It would seem so." I held on for a few seconds longer before I loosened my grip and let my magic slide down Liam's chest in a fleeting caress. He darted in for another kiss that quickly grew deep and harsh, my fingers digging into his waist as though I might drown without him, without this. Stop. Just fucking stop.

"We really should go," he said, barely enough space for words between us.

I drew back and combed my fingers through his hair, patting it down before I adjusted the suit jacket over his shoulders. "Okay, let's go."

Liam inhaled, watching me with the faintest glint of a smile. "I'll see you in just a few minutes," he said, and yes, of course he would. But it wasn't the same—pretending we were friends, having to stay at a casual distance when every molecule in my body wanted to be closer.

God, I needed to get my head straight. I wasn't a bloody teenager drowning in a puddle of my own emotions, for fuck's sake.

"See you in a few," I told him, and maybe it had come out a tad too cool because a brief frown crossed Liam's face, only just visible in the night. Then he nodded, gave my wrist a quick squeeze, and turned to leave.

Breathe. Focus.

I waited another couple of minutes before I stepped out of the shadows and slowly made my way to the front of the manor, back to reality.

* * *

The grand foyerlay almost deserted now, two waistcoat-clad attendants framing the winding staircases. Floating balls of fire, encased in glass, formed a chain of pearls that pointed the way to the ballroom.

I was halfway to the stairs when Liam and Cassandra appeared at the top, caught sight of me, and waved for me to wait at the bottom. Their steps were measured, but one look at their drawn faces made my stomach pull tight. Something was wrong.

Gale.

Gale and Laurie—shouldn't they be with them? When I'd left, Laurie and Cassandra had been debating the growing acceptance of romance novels and whether efforts to rebrand the genre, widely enjoyed by women but often belittled, marked a win for feminism. Gale had been listening with quiet interest while Liam watched me leave even as he nodded in all the right places. That had been, what—fifteen minutes ago? Twenty? Surely Liam and I hadn't been gone longer than that.

I met him and Cassandra at the bottom of the stairs, my voice low so it wouldn't carry beyond the three of us. "What's wrong?"

"We can't find Gale and Laurie," Cassandra said.

"Weren't you with them?" Chest tight, I strove to keep the accusation out of my tone. It wasn't her job—I should have been there. Instead, I'd snuck away because I couldn't keep my fucking hands to myself for even just a few hours.

"My father called me over for something. I saw them leave but couldn't get away fast enough." Her gaze swept the foyer.

"Apparently," Liam said in an undertone, "they decided to go exploring. Which is very Laurie. I told her to stay put, of course, but…well."

I wrapped a hand around my own wrist and felt the bracelet dig into my skin. It would be fine—this wasn't the kind of setting where anything could truly happen to them. But it was the kind of setting where someone might want to test Gale, needle him into revealing powers he didn't have.

Which was the very fucking reason I should have stayed with him at all times.

"Adam, listen." Cassandra hesitated. "I'm pretty sure I saw Jasper and Bianca Ashton follow them out."

My thoughts screeched to a halt, then spiralled into overdrive. If they'd come through here…Two ways they could have turned without being stopped. Liam had passed through from the gardens and hadn't seen them—so not that way. Which left…

I spun on my heel and set off for the greenhouse. Show purpose, not panic. "How long?" I asked over my shoulder, could barely hear my own voice over the rush in my ears.

"Three minutes," Cassandra said. "Four, max."

She and Liam hurried to catch up with me, the closest attendant shooting us a curious glance as we strode past. Sconces shed their warm light onto a hallway that was lined with brocade wallpaper, sharp claustrophobia twisting through my gut as I quickened my steps. The greenhouse lay at the end, its doors closed, a gently lit space beyond that I remembered as peaceful and humid, filled with the mingled scents of exotic plants in full bloom.

I reached the doors first and slid them open as quietly as I could, Liam and Cassandra silent behind me. Immediately, voices spilled through to us.

"You know what's funny?" Laurie. She didn't wait for an answer, her tone defiant. "From a distance, I used to think you were hot. A bit old for me, sure, but hot. Now that I've seen you up close, though? Yeah, turns out I'm not into dicks."

"Unlike your brother?" Jasper drawled.

Liam shouldered past me and moved along the greenhouse's central path. Tangled vines and overgrown trees framed his figure as he called out, "A dig at my sexuality? How original."

I caught up to him, Cassandra right behind me, and together, we rounded an enormous bush. Oh, yes—there they were. Gale and Laurie standing shoulder to shoulder, drawn faces. Unharmed. Jasper and Bianca between them and the exit.

My pulse kicked up a notch, white heat in my veins.

"What the fuck is going on here?" I barely recognised my own voice.

"Adam!" Jasper shifted so he could keep an eye on everyone, his wide grin slipping by a notch. Not so comfortable anymore, was he? Now that it wasn't just his own Nova arse and his bitchy Sun of a sister against two vastly weaker, younger mages. "We were just having a pleasant chat about how it's such a shame the ranking system fell out of fashion."

"Were you?" Cassandra sounded like she was contemplating whether Jasper's left ear would make for a fine souvenir. This wasn't her fight, though—she adored Gale, but the alliance between our families was of a social and economic nature. It didn't include a mutual defence pact.

"Oh, yes." Bianca had a sweet voice that hid a core of steel. "Transparency would benefit us all, don't you think? We thought we could start with Gale. If he shows us what he can do, we'd be happy to spread the word and silence those who claim he's just a Spark."

Fuck.

"I'm not your monkey." Gale's words were soft but clear. "I don't juggle on command."

"Aww, it speaks." Bianca fixed him with a sugary smile. "What if I asked very, very nicely?"

"Then we would very, very nicely tell you to fuck off," Laurie said, and no—she needed to stay out of this. The Morgans couldn't afford to make enemies so soon.

Jasper shook his head with an air of great sadness. "Really, Adam," he told me. "I must say I'm a little shocked at the company you keep these days. Someone should teach them that newcomers should be seen, not heard."

"Leave them out of this," I told him at the same time as Liam said,

"We're still working on improving our bullshit tolerance."

Jasper glanced from Liam to me and back, something ugly flashing across his face. I hadn't noticed how close Liam and I stood—nearly shoulder to shoulder, with a notably bigger gap to Cassandra on my other side. Moving away would only draw attention.

"Well, now." Jasper's voice took on a silken quality. "Isn't it amazing how far you two have come since we all competed for the Green Horizon Initiative? I've never seen you"—he levelled me with a meaningful stare—"play this nice with a rival."

The implication was clear, and I struggled to think past the quiver of panic in my belly. Breathe. He doesn't know a damn fucking thing. Just a lucky shot in the dark.

"Letting go of outdated grudges is a skill." I smiled, aware that Liam had gone very still beside me. "You should try it sometime."

"Sure," Bianca said. "Just as soon as you climb off that high horse you're surgically attached to."

"Oh, this old thing? It's more of a pedestal, really." I ignored it when Cassandra stepped on my foot and kept talking—all attention on me, none on Gale. "It gives me the perfect vantage point to study how long one can survive on hot air and self-righteousness. For science, you understand."

"Cute," Jasper hissed and clearly meant the opposite.

"All right, everyone." Cassandra's voice had taken on a decisive edge. "I believe that's quite enough for tonight. How about you"—she nodded at Bianca and Jasper—"make your way back? We'll be right behind you."

She was right. Trading barbed insults was a beloved sport in our community, but our history with the Ashtons meant this could escalate.

I inhaled through my nose and focused on my magic, felt her lick at the air in anticipation of a pounce. Not today. When I glanced at Liam, he was looking at me in that slightly unfocused way I now recognised. I drew my magic to me like a blanket, and his eyes cleared.

A handful of snide comments later, Jasper and Bianca made to leave. I took half a step aside to let them pass, and it wasn't an accident when Jasper's shoulder bumped mine, hard. Arse. I held my tongue.

Once they were gone, brief silence spun out, broken only by the gentle trickle of water and the buzz of insects that moved between the plants. I closed my eyes and counted two breaths, three. Then I turned to Gale, my pulse unsteady in my ears.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"We just wanted to have a look around," Laurie jumped in to respond, defiance in her tone. "Someone mentioned the greenhouse and it sounded cool. How were we supposed to know they were going to follow us?"

"You know better," I told Gale when what I really wanted to say was, I should have been there. Maybe a hint of it showed because he raised his head.

"I'm not made of candy floss, you know?" He met my eyes, frowning just slightly. "You can't protect me forever."

"I can bloody well try!" It came out far harsher than I intended, guilt twisting like poison through my blood. I should have fucking been there.And I hadn't been because I'd been…distracted. Selfish. Caught up in Liam to the point where I couldn't see straight anymore—blinded by him, acting like tomorrow was light years away.

Gale stared at me with a flat expression. "You sound like our father."

"He's right about some things," I shot back, dimly aware of Cassandra's hand on my shoulder, Laurie watching me with a raised eyebrow.

"Adam." Liam's voice was quiet, soothing, an anchor for my spinning thoughts. "They were being arseholes, yeah. But they wouldn't have hurt them right under Archer Summers' nose—not unless they have a death wish."

I turned to face him, gravity tripping along my spine. God, I was in love with him—the flecks of green in his ocean eyes, his brilliant mind, and the way he touched me.

But I had to let him go.

"They're like piranhas, Liam." My throat hurt. "They smelled blood in the water, and they're not going to let up until they trace it to its source."

We'd have to orchestrate ways for Gale to casually display powers he didn't have. One of the construction sites maybe, pretend it was his doing while I stood innocently by. Make sure that word got out. He's a Sun, no doubt about it.

Maybe we couldn't fool the world forever. But the Ashtons had four Novas in their ranks; we were just three. Last time we'd clashed, my mother had evened the odds, but not anymore, and now we needed—we needed—God. Bringing Cassandra into our ranks, fully expanding the alliance with the Hartleys—no. I couldn't ask that of her.

Liam's weapons. He didn't generally sell them, but—but, no. It would mean asking him to betray his own beliefs and moral code, and I couldn't do that either. This was on me.

"Let's head back," Cassandra said after a quiet moment, and it vaguely felt like I should apologise for something, but I didn't know what. My head was stuffed with cotton, my heart cast in a layer of lead.

Here we were, at the end of everything.

* * *

Pale moonlight snuckthrough gaps between the curtains. It cast ghostly trails across the contours of Liam's face, shifting as he moved—there then not. How bloody symbolic.

One last time.

Just one last time so I could memorise every line, every shadow—the map of his back as I ran my hands along his spine, the husky murmur of his voice that wouldn't travel past the walls of his bedroom, the way his tongue curled around mine before he slid down my body. Breathing hurt as shards of glass got stuck in my lungs.

"Come on," I managed. The words damn near caught in my throat, but I could blame it on the sweet twist of his fingers inside me. Choking on arousal rather than the raw, aching mess of my emotions. "I'm ready."

Liam exhaled warm air over the tip of my cock. "But where's my engraved invitation?" he asked then, a smile colouring his voice.

I needed a moment to place the words. Oh—my office, so many weeks ago, a lifetime ago. Me on my knees, Liam looking down at me with a smug curl to the corners of his mouth. ‘Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?' he'd asked, and I'd wanted him to choke on his arrogance.

Not anymore. But I still wanted him to look at me like I was all he could see.

"Baby," I said. "You're on the ‘always welcome' list."

A true lie, disguised as a joke. We didn't have forever.

Something might have shown in my tone because he stilled for a beat, features veiled by the dim light. Don't let on. I drew him up for a harsh kiss, his fingers slipping out of me as our mouths caught. My focus narrowed to hot breath and the slick glide of our tongues, to Liam, this, us.

When he pushed into me, I almost wished it would hurt. It didn't, though—not physically. He'd prepped me too well and I'd grown used to the way our bodies fit together. So I clung to him instead, my fingers digging into his shoulders and my legs wrapped around his waist, holding on like we stood a chance.

Soft gasps and deep kisses. Shadows pressed in on us, the summer night heavy with the nauseatingly sweet scent of blossoms, or maybe that was all in my mind. Each thrust brought us closer to an end that only I could see, time running out when he was all I'd ever wanted for myself. It wasn't fucking fair, was it? But such was the fucking tragedy of reality landing a punch that had me just about down for the count because somehow, somehow, I'd convinced myself I could have this. What a bloody fool I'd been.

I was a Harrington. My life had never been mine.

"Hey." Liam's lips brushed the corner of my mouth and brought me back to the present. His voice was low. "You with me?"

My rib cage was an open wound, but I smiled through it. "Of course. Always, if I could."

"I'm going to hold you to that," he said.

I love you.

"See that you do," I told him, light and easy when my heart was anything but. Words felt dangerous right now, everything too close to the surface, so I clenched around him and swallowed his groan. I made to circle my own cock just as he reached between us as well, our fingers bumping before they slotted together, his still slick with lube.

Notes I would never write got tangled up in my head—you're my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night and I'm only truly me when I'm with you and you're the realest thing I've ever felt. I stayed silent and dug my nails into his skin. Something to remember me by.

Too soon, liquid heat coiled at the base of my spine. No. Not yet. I wasn't ready for the end, and so I forced our joined hands away from my cock. Above me, Liam stilled, buried deep inside of me.

"What's wrong?" His question came with a breathless edge, faint traces of moonlight catching in his voice and hair.

"Nothing." Everything. "Just…" I cupped a hand around his jaw. "Want you to come first—fill me up. Give me something real."

I hadn't meant to say that last part. For a moment, Liam didn't move. Then he curved down to claim my mouth just as he withdrew nearly all the way—and pushed back in, hard enough to make me slide up the bed a little. I raised my hips and met his next thrust and the one after, our kisses growing shallow and sloppy until we were simply sharing breath, gasping with each twist of his hips.

My eyes stung.

I love you.

For a single heartbeat, we were a universe.

Then he came apart in my arms, our bodies pressed together, his muscles trembling as I held him through the aftershocks. I didn't want to follow him down. I wanted to stay balanced on the edge of this sweet, raw ache, defying gravity, only Liam didn't know that, couldn't know that, couldn't know why, so he brought a hand between us and worked my cock with quick, short strokes, just how I liked it because he knew me.

He knew me. If he asked me to stay, I wasn't sure I'd be able to leave.

I squeezed my eyes shut and sought his mouth for a kiss that silenced all the words I couldn't say. Shadows wrapped me up as I finally shattered, his taste on my tongue and his hands in my hair. I love you so fucking much. Oh God.

Tomorrow, he might come to hate me.

But not tonight. Tonight, he snuck out of his bedroom to get a warm, damp cloth, then cleaned me up with gentle care, oblivious to the way it made my throat close up. He dropped off soon after, one arm slung over my chest like it was any other night. I counted his breaths until the darkness behind my lids threatened to overwhelm me, pinpricks of pressure that I fought until I couldn't.

I didn't sleep as now turned into never again.