NINE MILES

Miles is so beyond stressed it"s not even funny. The second Kieran"s assistant stumbles her way over, babbling about ghosts and beer pong, Miles shoots up from the table.

He doesn"t pay any attention to the people he leaves behind, but no one follows him. He"s both grateful for that and bitter about it.

There are trays of shots on the bar counter, and Miles takes a seat directly in front of them. The tequila makes him hiss as it slides down his throat, but he ignores it, reaching for another shot. After the third, the edges of his vision are pleasantly fuzzy, and his annoyance starts to fade.

He"s got a pretty good buzz going when he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns his head to look, grinning goofily, but it slips from his face when his eyes focus on Kieran. Miles can"t quite remember why the sight of Kieran is upsetting right now, but he knows it has something to do with the way his heart aches in his chest at the sight of the frown on that handsome face.

"How many of these have you already had?" Kieran asks him, looking dubiously at the half-empty shot tray in front of Miles.

Miles snorts and grabs another shot. He tosses it back, keeping his eyes on Kieran. He feels argumentative, like he wants to scream and cry, but he hardly has enough energy to slur out an answer.

"A few."

He has no fucking clue how many he"s had, but it doesn"t seem that important right now.

"How about you ease up a little?" Kieran suggests, arching a brow.

"How about," Miles hiccups, stumbling out of his seat and grabbing a beer from a nearby cooler, "I didn"t ask for your advice?"

He starts wandering through the crowd, suddenly too hot and claustrophobic. He doesn"t really know where he"s going, but just moving feels good right now.

Glancing over, he realizes Kieran is following him. They"re shoulder to shoulder, occasionally bumping into each other as they make their way through the crowd. Miles keeps walking, making his way toward the water. There aren"t many people by the shore, and he wants to get his feet wet. They manage to make it through almost half the crowd before Kieran is pulled to a stop by someone.

Miles immediately feels it when Kieran"s attention shifts away from him, like it was a physical touch being removed, and he cringes at the thought before taking another sip of beer. The girl who stopped Kieran seems nice enough.

She"s looking up at him with wide eyes, a shy smile on her face, and she"s telling him how happy she is to get to work with him. Kieran is smiling back and telling her he"s nothing special, and Miles is half listening, just standing there at Kieran"s side. He stays for a long few minutes while Kieran and the girl—Alyssa, he thinks is what she says her name is—make small talk. After a while of staring into the depths of his beer can, Miles realizes that there"s no need for him to be there, and he starts wandering again.

His quest to dip his toes in the water is forgotten, and now he just wants to get away from the crowd. He wants quiet, just for a moment, time to be in his own head.

He finishes his beer just as he passes another cooler, and tosses his empty can in the trash beside it before picking another one up. Kieran catches up with him just as he cracks it open, and it"s promptly tugged from his grasp.

"That"s it, you"re cut off," Kieran says firmly, tossing the full beer into the trash can.

Miles whirls on him, shocked, but Kieran just frowns and places his hands gently on Miles" shoulders.

"We both have an early morning tomorrow. Just let me walk you to your bungalow, ok?"

Miles stares at him for a long second, but finally shrugs Kieran"s hands off of his shoulders, rolling his eyes. He gestures for Kieran to lead the way, falling into step beside the man and trying to ignore the little voice in the back of his head that"s screeching in annoyance about Kieran only now acting like he cares about Miles. It"s too much for his drunk brain to think about, so he pushes it away.

"Where the hell is Ethan? Why isn"t he keeping an eye on you?" Kieran asks.

He sounds kind of pissed, actually, but Miles is too busy focusing on the way the sand feels beneath his bare feet to focus on Kieran"s mood.

"He"s playing beer pong or something," Miles sighs, laughing a little. "Why would he be keeping an eye on me?"

"He"s your assistant," Kieran says insistently. "He needs to make sure you"re fresh and well-rested for tomorrow. Does he even know where you are?"

Miles shrugs. He stumbles a bit and crashes into Kieran"s side, too drunk to catch his balance on the shifting sand. Kieran steadies him, and Miles tries hard not to think about how warm and strong Kieran"s hands feel on his waist.

He stops where he is and tries not to wobble. He doesn"t pout when Kieran pulls his hands back, just tilts his head back to look at the stars. They shine down on the beach so beautifully. Miles doesn"t think he"s ever seen starlight so clearly before, undiluted by planes and satellites and streetlights. It"s breathtaking.

"You know Ethan. He won"t do shit," Miles sighs. "He"s here to play around."

Miles laughs bitterly when he hears himself say that. He realizes in that moment that that"s all it"s ever been with Ethan. He"s only ever been playing.

Miles wonders if he knows how to do anything else.

"Miles, why is he even here?"

Kieran is looking at him, he can feel the burn of his gaze, but Miles just keeps his head tilted back, staring at the stars.

"He needed a job," Miles says blandly, "and I couldn"t trust him at my place alone. I didn"t really want to come back and find someone else"s underwear in my sheets."

Kieran doesn"t answer for a long moment, and when Miles looks at him again, he"s frowning. Miles feels like he"s simultaneously closer to Kieran than ever before and so much further away than he"s ever been. The gap between them makes him ache, and he wishes for a moment that they were two different people.

Maybe if they weren"t Miles Rivera and Kieran Callahan, maybe then Miles could kiss him.

"Aren"t you two back together?" Kieran asks disapprovingly.

Miles" brows raise at that, and he blinks at Kieran in shock for a few moments. Then he tosses his head back and laughs, really laughs, his stomach cramping as it just keeps coming. He stumbles, reaching out to steady himself on Kieran"s shoulder, trying to contain his giggles.

"No," he gasps out, "no." He draws out the word like it"s something funny on its own, breaking off to keep laughing halfway through. "We"re done. No more Ethan and me, we"re all done. Finished. Finito."

Miles hiccups, grinning to himself at hearing the words out loud. It"s kind of nice to hear himself say it, honestly, to know he really doesn"t want to be with Ethan anymore. It feels like a real step forward to living his own life. The whole world is spinning right now, and Kieran"s shoulder is still warm under his hand, and Miles thinks that maybe things aren"t so bad.

"Oh," Kieran whispers.

It sounds like he"s saying something important, or at least thinking something important, but Miles can"t really focus.

"Kieran?" he breathes, lifting his head back up and meeting Kieran"s searching gaze. He drops his hand from Kieran"s shoulder and places it on his own forehead, frowning. "I think I might be drunk."

Kieran looks at Miles so intensely for a moment that Miles almost repeats himself, but then Kieran shakes his head and huffs out a laugh. He pats Miles on the back and gets him walking toward the bungalows again.

"Let"s get you in bed, Miles."

Miles follows obediently, grateful when they finally make it to the wood of the deck in front of his bungalow. He"s a bit more stable here than on the shifting sand.

"Do you need anything?" Kieran asks.

He sounds so gentle, and Miles thinks back to Ethan"s comment about being next door if he needs anything. Kieran sounds so different, so sincere that it almost hurts. Miles just shakes his head, blinking slowly as exhaustion starts to make itself known.

"I"m all good," he slurs, giving Kieran a double thumbs up. "I"m going to bed."

"That"s a good idea," Kieran laughs.

He stays there, hands in his pockets, until Miles makes it inside and locks the door. Miles raises a hand in a wave, and Kieran returns it until Miles pulls the shades shut between them.

Miles turns and falls into bed, still fully dressed. He"s asleep in seconds.

***

He feels like he wakes up less than a minute later, his head aching at the pounding on the door. Stumbling out of bed, Miles makes his way to the door, wrestling the curtains open and unlocking it. Ethan is on the other side, still wearing his clothes from last night. He reeks of alcohol, and he looks like he didn"t sleep at all. His phone alarm is still going off in his back pocket.

"You look like shit," Ethan greets when Miles pulls the door open. "Go shower or whatever, you have to be at the shoot in, like, twenty."

Miles" eyes widen in panic, and he immediately bolts back into his bungalow. He strips quickly, jumping into the shower before it"s even warmed up, scrubbing at his face and his hair to try to get rid of the clinging scent of booze. He forgot that Octavia said she wanted him to watch while Kieran and Isabella filmed. He"s inexperienced, and he needs to be able to match their level of on-screen chemistry.

He"s nauseous and has a headache straight from hell by the time he hops out of the shower and is brushing his teeth. It"s so early, and the sun is just peaking over the horizon as he gets dressed, grateful that Ethan at least laid his clothes for today out before the party last night.

It"s more than he expected.

He dry swallows a few ibuprofen on his way out the door, his head throbbing, and promptly realizes he has no idea where the hell he"s supposed to go. Ethan is nowhere to be found, so he just starts walking down the beach, heading toward the big open courtyard area they"d been partying at last night.

"Miles!"

Miles relaxes immediately when he hears Kieran"s voice. Thank god he"s not going to be late for the first day of shooting, or at the very least, he"ll be with Kieran if he is. Kieran trots over to him with a wide smile on his face. He has a cup of coffee in hand, and Miles desperately wishes for caffeine of any sort. He"ll just have to tough it out today.

"I got you coffee," Kieran says, pressing the cup into his hand with a bright smile. "Milk, no sugar."

Or maybe he won"t.

He stares at the cup, and Kieran frowns. "If you don't want milk right now, you can have mine."

Miles shakes his head, cupping his hands around the coffee. "Milk's fine," he croaks and inhales the scent. It helps clear his head even before he takes a long drink. At least he"ll only have to contend with the headache instead of being exhausted on top of it.

Dakota, Kieran"s assistant, makes her way over. She hands Kieran a smoothie and smiles up at him like he hung the stars. He doesn"t even seem to register it, which Miles guesses makes sense. Everyone probably looks at him like that.

"So we"re starting with a dry run of scene one, then moving straight into shooting one, five, and six with you and Ms. Illane this morning," Dakota says to Kieran.

She starts walking and Kieran and Miles both follow along after her. She has a huge tote bag with water bottles, protein bars, sunscreen, and towels in it under one arm, a walkie-talkie clipped to her belt, and a clipboard in her hand.

"We"ll do blocking and a dry run for three and four with Mr. Rivera, then break for lunch, then shoot three and four."

Miles hears footsteps behind them and turns to see Isabella getting a similar rundown from her own assistant. The young man by her side is similarly decked out with supplies and equipment. Miles suddenly feels a bit bare without Ethan, even though he wouldn"t have been anywhere near as prepared.

Isabella waves at Miles, smiling brightly, and he waves back. They catch up with each other just as they make it to the shooting location.

"Good night last night?" Isabella asks Miles, grinning as she walks over toward a trio of chairs under a parasol.

"Oh, god, don"t remind me," Miles laughs, shaking his head.

As they get closer, Kieran peels off from Dakota and joins the two of them, waving at Isabella as he sips his smoothie. Miles glances at the chairs, then does a double take, his mouth dropping open. He has a chair with his name on it, just like—well, just like a movie star.

Holy shit, this is all insane.

He doesn"t have time to really process it before Octavia calls Isabella and Kieran over to join her in front of the cameras. Miles can"t hear her super clearly, but she"s pointing out things in the script and gesturing to different spots and different cameras, and Isabella and Kieran are nodding.

Miles is impressed watching them both slip into work mode. They both look so serious, and nerves flutter in Miles" stomach again, reminding him that he has no idea what the hell he"s doing.

They get right into it, just walking through everything without the cameras rolling, but even so, Miles can see their chemistry. It"s obvious, the pull between them, how well they work off each other. Even the way they look at each other feels so real, so blatantly obvious, and Miles swallows hard as jealousy starts to worm its way up his throat.

He takes a sip of his coffee and pretends he"s just nauseous.

So what if Kieran and Isabella are actually a thing? They"d be perfect together, and it"s not like Miles has a chance anyway.

It doesn"t matter.

He just has to keep telling himself that.