Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

SEBASTIAN

“ I ’ll pick you up at seven.”

I reread the text again and tried to make the nerves that danced in my stomach settle. I still couldn’t believe I had agreed to have dinner with Roman and Marco, let alone let them give me my own private tour of Crimson House.

I flung my phone onto the bed, where it was quickly swallowed up by the pile of clothing choices I’d discarded. I didn’t know what to wear, or what they wanted me to wear. I eyed the royal purple shirt that Lilly had gotten me last Christmas. It did complement my skin nicely, and I could pair it with my new black jeans that had the cute little cartoon patches I’d sewn onto them. Decision made, I could now go back to panicking about the date itself.

Was it a date?

Giving up, I dug through the clothes and snagged my phone hitting Lilly’s number as I flung myself back onto the bed. I swear she answered before it even had a chance to ring. “Let me guess. Panicking over what to wear and if this is a date or not.”

I rolled my eyes. Damn it, of course she knew me better than I did.

“Okay, let’s say that might be true. We both know I have a less than successful score when it comes to dating.” I looked up at my ceiling, smiling at the hundreds of little glow-in-the-dark stars and a glowing smiling full moon that covered the ceiling. Lilly and I had spent a weekend redecorating my bedroom into my dream room, with all the touches that I associated with my newly discovered Little space.

“I think like always you’re going to overthink things, and nothing I say is going to change how you feel. What you have to ask yourself is, if this is a date, how do you feel about it? This is not just one guy but two, and two Daddies to boot,” Lilly said in her typical no nonsense way. “Let me just say, for the record I think they would be perfect for you, I’ve only known them a few months but Mummy says they have a solid reputation in the kink community in Leeds. And let’s not forget the most important thing.”

“What’s that?” I asked, already knowing what she was going to say.

“They are the daddiest Daddies to ever have daddied.” She didn’t squeal but it was a close thing.

“How do you know?”

“I watched them at the club, and the way they look out for all the Littles. Marco is quieter, kind of intense but gives the best cuddles, and Roman is the more talkative but no less intense, and they both like playing with all sorts of kinks. They really would be perfect for you.”

I groaned, wishing I had Lilly’s confidence. “How can you know what’s perfect for me when I don’t even know what’s perfect for me?”

Lilly gave a soft laugh. “You just have to go with it. Don’t overthink it.”

“Sure. easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s meeting two hot Daddy Doms at the kink club they own for dinner.” My stomach swooped at the mention of dinner.

“It’s going to be fine. Are you driving out to the house?”

“No, um. Marco called and said he would pick me up and drop me back, something about worrying about me driving out to the house after dark.”

Lilly giggled. “They really are such Daddies. Okay, I’m going to let you go and finish getting dressed. Wear the purple shirt and put on that pretty shimmer gloss you got last week that makes your lips look super pouty.” I rolled my eyes but had to agree that the lip gloss did make my lips look nice.

“Already got the shirt on. Wish me luck.”

“You won’t need it, babe. You just need to let yourself enjoy this.” Lilly made a loud kissing sound and we traded love you’s before we finished the call.

I grabbed my favourite emerald green cardigan. It was knitted with the softest of wools and felt like clouds while I was knitting it. The colour was one I knew looked good on me and the cardigan itself felt like a fluffy, warm security blanket. Donning it, I immediately felt a little calmer.

Sighing, I sat up and looked around my room. It was my favourite place in the flat. I had the great wall of stuffies on one side of the room, each shelf packed tightly with all the plush toys I had. I didn’t have a specific type I favoured. It was whatever caught my eye. The only two not on the wall shelf were my giant stuffed Cassowary, Mama Cass, and my green fluff monster, Bernie. He was one of the few things I’d brought from home when I left. He’d been a gift from my granny, and it was a reminder that some of my family had loved me once. I grabbed him from where he sat and cuddled him to my chest.

“Okay, guys, I need you to behave while I’m out, no wild plushie parties. I will fill you in on all the details when I get back.” I gave Bernie a hug then sat him back on the bed next to Mama Cass. I kissed her head for good measure before I reached down and grabbed my trainers.

As I finished tying my laces my phone pinged with a message. A quick look showed me it was from Marco. He was parked outside waiting. I hurriedly messaged back that I would be there in a few minutes and rushed about turning lights out and making sure everything was off and the windows were locked. The area the shop was in wasn’t a bad neighbourhood, but there had been more than a few break ins and nothing filled me with more fear than losing the few possessions I’d saved up so hard to own.

Marco drove a fancy Jaguar SUV, and the man himself stood leaning against the car. I slowed down a touch to let myself admire him. His hair was down and tumbled around his shoulders in sandy blonde waves. His crisp white button down was open at the throat, showing off the ink on his throat and chest, and his tattooed arms were on display where he’d rolled the sleeves up. I touched the ink on my own throat and wondered where Marco had gotten his, and if Roman was tattooed as well.

As I walked closer Marco saw me approach and winked at me. “Looking good, Sebastian. Roe is going to flip over that shirt. Purple is his favourite colour and it looks amazing on you.”

I blushed heatedly at his words, unsure what to say. I wasn’t used to this open admiration.

Marco pulled the car door open as I got closer and then leaned in and buckled my seatbelt after I sat down. As he bent in to do so our bodies were close. I could smell the faint citrus notes of the aftershave he was wearing, and when he turned I saw how his blue eyes were almost the colour of sea ice, or what I imagined it would look like. His beard looked incredibly soft and I had to stop myself from reaching out and touching it.

“There, all safely buckled up. Roman would have my head if I didn’t get you to the house safely. He’s been fussing over dinner all afternoon.”

I found it almost laughable that anyone would fuss and stress over me joining them for dinner, yet here I was, being escorted to a manor-house-come-kink-haven to dine with its two handsome owners.

I sat back and wondered about the strangeness of my life as Marco closed the door and came around to sit in the driver’s side. Daring to look up, I saw him smiling at me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I know this must seem a bit strange to you, but I promise Roman and I are going to be absolute gentlemen. We spent, what, ten minutes together in the shop yesterday. But I gotta say sprite, you have us both twitterpated with you.”

Marco gave a cheeky smile and I giggled. Who said twitterpated? But his admission made me feel nice inside. It was a new sensation to be wanted.

“Sprite?” I asked, not disliking the nickname. Quite the contrary I’d never had one before so it felt special.

“Sprites. Small lively forest spirits. You remind me of one.” I smiled at Marco’s answer. I loved that he saw me like that.

I cleared my throat and answered with an honesty that shocked me, “I’m not sure what we’re doing, but I feel like if I don’t take this chance I might miss out on something special.”

Marco hummed at my words before he reached over and touched my hand briefly. “Us too. How long have you worked for Miss Rose?” he asked as he pulled the Jaguar smoothly away from the curb and towards the road leading out of town.

“Close to a year and a half, maybe a bit longer. I owe Miss Rose a lot.” I didn’t think I could actually verbalise how much Miss Rose had done for me.

“Rose is a treasure. This town doesn’t know how lucky they are to have her,” Marco said.

I agreed with him heartily. “Miss Rose is one of the funniest, smartest people I know. I never thought I’d be working in a sex shop, but I love it. Most of the customers are nice. We get a few creeps, but generally they leave me alone.”

I watched the scenery go past the window. It was mostly dark, but I could see the lights of farmhouses and cottages as we sped along. The weather guys had warned it was going to be a cold one tonight and we might get the first snows of the year. “Did you see that it might snow tonight?” I couldn’t keep the excitement out of my voice. I loved the snow, but growing up I was never allowed to play out in it. My father had opinions on that sort of thing.

“Oh I know. Roe has been excited ever since he heard the weather report. He really loves the idea of a white Christmas, just not so much the actual snow. You should have seen him when I took him back to my boyhood home to see the northern lights. He loved the lights but swore I was trying to freeze his balls off. As if I would be that mean to his balls.” Marco chuckled fondly at the image, and I felt a twinge of something like envy. I wasn’t sure if envy was the right word, but I knew I would give anything to be somebody special to someone like Roman and Marcus.

“You’re not born around here?”

“What gave it away? The accent, right? Though Roman tells me it has toned down a lot in the years I’ve lived here.”

I nodded, his accent though not pronounced, was still noticeable.

“Where do you think I’m from?”

“Hmm, what do I get if I guess right?” I asked, feeling a touch of boldness that normally I never would. What was going on with me tonight?

“Oh, I will think of something.” Marco answered.

“I gotta warn you, I’m pretty good at guessing where people are from.” I moved around in my car seat so I was looking at him.

“Alright, sprite. Guess away.”

I tapped my lip and looked him up and down. “Okay, what was the name of your hometown?”

“Oh, sneaky, but I’ll answer. The town I was born in is called Vaasa.” Marco said and smiled smugly.

“Vaasa.” I said the name aloud. Marco didn’t know that as a kid I spent my weekends reading atlases and National Geographics, dreaming of amazing places I would visit. Norway, Finland and Sweden were my favourites. I grinned when my brain threw out the answer. “Finland. Vaasa is on the western coast on the gulf of Bothnia.” My smile grew broader when Marco threw his head back laughing.

“You are a clever little sprite. How did you know?”

I looked down at my hands and sighed. “I spent a lot of time with my nose buried in books. I loved reading about places I wanted to go to when I finally got away from home.”

I felt Marco’s eyes on me and I looked up.

“Something tells me there is a story there, but I’m not going to push you, sprite. Just know that Roe and I really want to get to know everything about you.”

“Why?” The word was out before I could stop it.

“That, my cute boy, is something Roman and I will show you. Just know that we both find you fascinating and funny, and there is a sweetness inside you that calls to both of us,” Marco answered as he drove the Jag into a long gravel road. Large trees lined its length, and I suddenly felt like I was on my way to Narnia and at any minute Aslan would step out of the woods.

Colourful spotlights were set at the foot of the trees closer to the house, adding to the already magical feel of the place. I sat forward, eager to get a look at the house itself. I’d heard so many stories from Lilly about the place—somewhere where all your kinky desires could be met and then some. I wasn’t really sure what my kinks were apart from wanting a Daddy, and even then I hadn’t really thought past the whole idea of someone I could call my Daddy. I snuck a peek at Marco and my cheeks flooded with warmth when I imagined calling him Daddy. It was silly. I barely knew the man. But maybe he was right. Something was connecting us. I’d know for sure when we met up with Roman in a few minutes. I told myself it was crazy. There was no way that they both wanted me.

“Here we are, home sweet kinky home,” Marco said as he pulled the Jag up in front of a magnificent red brick and stone building. It was like something out of Downton Abbey, maybe a bit smaller but still amazing. The windows in the lower floors were all lit up and warm light flowed out through the main double doors. I let out a shocked gasp when I saw a magnificent fir tree growing in the middle of the courtyard, its upper branches nearly reaching the second story of the house.

“Whoa, that would make a hell of a Christmas tree.” I was already imagining it festooned with festive lights and baubles.

I jumped a little when Marco’s breath ghosted against my face. He’d undone his seat belt and leaned over to look out my window, smiling. “Yeah, funnily enough Roman shares the same idea. He is all with the planning, but you know who’s going to have to climb the ladder and wear the safety harness.”

I giggled at the put-upon sigh he gave. I could see he didn’t really mean it by the smile that was tugging at his lips. “You?”

“That’s right, sprite. He’s going to have me climbing all over that damn tree to have it lit up for Christmas.” Marco reached down between us and unbuckled my seat belt, “Lucky I’m crazy about the man.” He gave me a goofy smile that I couldn’t help return.

“Come on, let’s get inside before Roman sends out a search party.” As he spoke the front door was flung open and Roman strode out. I’ll admit I ogled—a lot. He was wearing a white cotton shirt and a pair of black dress pants, and like Marco had his sleeves rolled up and the buttons at the throat of his shirt undone.

“Too late. I swear that he must have been watching out the window. Don’t tell him I told you, but he’s been excited and nervous all day.” Marco gave a deep chuckle. “Honestly we both have.”

I chuckled nervously. “Over me? I’m not something special.”

“Hmm, why don’t you let Roe and I be the ones to decide that,”

My car door was pulled open and then Roman was leaning in, smiling. “You do know it’s freezing out here.”

“And yet you’re the one who ran out here without a jacket,” Marco said as he got out of the car. I couldn’t hide my smile when Roman rolled his eyes playfully.

“I was excited to see our guest, so you can excuse me for forgetting my jacket. Though I will note, husband dear, you don’t have one on either.” Roman reached out a hand to me and I nervously took it.

“You know I don’t feel the cold like you do,” Marco said with a shrug, coming around the car to where we stood.

“It’s true. I blame my Spanish blood.” Roman sniffed, to which Marco gave a teasing laugh.

“Your grandmother was Spanish. You, my love, are a born and bred Essex man and I don’t hold that against you, though sometimes?—”

I let out a laugh when Roman slapped his hand over Marco’s mouth, tutting at him. I wasn’t really looking at them as the house had caught my entire attention. It was huge, with wings spanning out either side of the entry hall.

“Great googly moogly, you could play hide and seek in there and never be found.” I peered around Roman and saw through the open door a long, wide hallway with what looked like smooth parquetry floors. I could slide for miles on them. There was an itch in my brain begging me to take my pesky shoes off and try.

“Oh dear, I fear we have bored you already,” Roman said, laughing.

“Oh no, Sir, sorry. I just got distracted.”

Roman tilted his head and looked to where I had been staring. “Ah, let me guess. You were trying to work out how far you could slide in your socks.”

Sprung, I brought my hand up to cover my laugh. “Maybe,” I answered behind my hand. Roman leaned into my space, his forehead nearly bumping into mine. “I’ll tell you a secret,” he whispered, darting a glance at Marco. “There is a hall upstairs that’s even better.”

“No hall sliding until after dinner.” Marco came up behind us and pressed a hand lightly against my lower back. “Let’s get you inside and warm you up and Roman can discuss the tree decorating he has planned.”

I looked over my shoulder and gave Marco a grin. “That would be the giant tree that Roman is making you climb?”

“Yes indeed, pretty sure he’s only making me do it so he can watch my arse.” Marco gently guided me into the foyer, Roman following close to hand.

Having watched his arse when they had left the shop yesterday I could understand why Roman would.

“Oh, I am sure he would be watching you to make sure you’re safe, Sir,” I answered, grinning.

“Oh yes, safe, exactly that,” Roman quipped.

Marco stopped once we were inside the foyer proper and removed his shoes, pulling on a pair of soft lambskin slippers.

“Sit here, Seb. Let me help you with your shoes. We tend to wear slippers or socks in the private parts of the house. The club parts have been refloored but in our wing it’s still the original flooring.”

I sat down on a small seat alongside the shoe rack and reached down to unlace my sneakers, but Roman was down on one knee picking up my foot before I could.

“Here, let me.”

I watched dumbstruck as Roman’s elegant long fingers undid the double bows I’d tied my trainer laces with.

“Oh, these are adorable.” Roman lifted my foot a little to show Marco my socks. When he saw the pink flying pigs, Marco chuckled.

“I like fun socks,” I murmured, focusing on the spot where Roman still held my foot, having taken my shoes off.

“Do you want slippers? These old halls are draughty as hell.” Roman asked, releasing my foot.

Shaking my head I took his proffered hand and followed him past the large staircase.

“Those lead up to our private rooms. We’ll head there after, but for now we can head to the kitchen. I need to check on the roast. We tend to eat in there if it’s just Marco and I. It’s more intimate.” He pointed to a room on the right with a huge oak dining table and rich red wallpaper and smiled. “We hold family gatherings and community dinners in there. The table’s so large you could have an orgy one end and someone eating a twelve course meal on the other. I know—we’ve tried.” Roman cackled and I was pretty sure my blush must have lit up the room as I imagined what he’d just described.

“Roe, you’re trying to make the boy blush on purpose.” Marco sounded like they’d been through this before.

“Only a little bit, I promise. I didn’t make you too uncomfortable, did I?” True concern was etched on his face.

I squeezed Roman’s hand reassuringly and smiled, hoping to stop him worrying. “I’m fine honestly, and believe me the pictures I had in my brain were not bad.” I gave him my best cheeky grin.

“Oh, you are just too perfect. Come on, let’s get to the kitchen. It will be warmer there and we can sit down and talk.” He led me through the warren of hallways and Marco followed, chuckling.

My breath caught when we walked into the kitchen. It was just like a picture book country kitchen, only on a much larger scale. Deep red wooden counters surrounded the area with a massive centre island-come-stovetop in the middle with high comfy stools surrounding it. There were not one but two huge ovens, and another stovetop off on one side of the room. Massive arched windows opened out onto a small private courtyard with a large outdoor setting.

“This is amazing,” I gasped, moving over to touch the countertops. The wood was silky under my fingertips as I grazed my hand along it.

“We did a bit of remodelling. This was a dining room but I wanted a larger kitchen. The original one was too small and dark for the amount of food I like to cook,” Roman answered, leading me to one of the stools around the large kitchen island. “Sit here and give me something lovely to watch while I cook.”

I laughed and settled my hands in my lap, tilting my head. Marco came in to join us. He pulled a stool out alongside of me, close enough that our legs brushed.

“I see my beloved is flirting outrageously again.” Marco winked at me. “Roman’s not lying though, you are beautiful.”

I looked at both of them, a little dumbfounded. “I’ve never, um. Nobody has ever said that to me.”

Roman shook his head. “That is a travesty. You, my dear boy, should be told each and every day how lovely you are.”

My cheeks grew so warm I was afraid I might combust. “What are we doing here?” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

“Well, dinner, then showing the club, for starters,” Roman answered, smiling. “But I suspect that’s not the answer you’re looking for.”

I shook my head and sat up straighter. For years I’d sat back and watched people find their happily ever after, or at least their happily overnight. I’d not even had another hand on my cock, let alone anything more, and I was sick of watching the world pass me by. “I’m not sure how much Lilly told you about me. Um, I came from a really sheltered home. My parents were pretty negative when I came out and, long story short, they kicked me out. Miss Rose found me and gave me a job and a place to live. I’ve kissed one boy and gone on two dates.” I couldn’t stop the words even if I wanted to. It was as if my brain had decided I needed these two men to know the real me, or at least the me they were getting.

Roman had stopped fussing with the stove and sat down on the stool the other side of me. “None of this changes us wanting to get to know you, Sebastian,” he said softly.

“I just want you to know everything. I found out I love regressing not long after I started working for Miss Rose, and Lilly helped me find some great online groups, but I’ve never had a Daddy or played with anyone besides Lilly, and even then I didn’t get to actually find my Little space.” I gave a half-shrug, looking at my hands “I don’t even know if I am a real Little or if I was, if you’d still be interested. I know it’s not for everyone.”

“Oh, sweetheart. Firstly, I want to reassure you we don’t want to pressure you into anything you are not ready for, and secondly, we would both love to help you explore your Little side.” Roman touched my face gently, tilting my chin so I was looking at him. I could sense Marco moving closer behind me and he laid his hand gently across mine.

“Seb, there is no right or wrong way when it comes to ageplay. You’ve just not had the chance to fully let go somewhere you feel safe. As Roe said, we would love to explore that with you.”

Marco nodded in agreement, taking hold of my other hand. “We want to get to know you, Seb, as well as that adorable little boy we know is hiding inside. But we also don’t want to put heavy expectations on you on our first date.”

I felt a huge bubble of happiness building up and I grinned, not sure how to express how I felt. “But you’re not going to make me wait for kisses and stuff are you? Because I’ve been waiting forever for a proper kiss.”

Roman’s dark eyes sparkled as he leaned into my space, brushing his nose against mine. “Oh, baby boy, you will have all the kisses and more.” His lips gently brushed mine and I felt a zing go straight through me. He kissed me slowly and I gasped a little in shock when his tongue poked out to touch my lips but I got with the program quickly, opening my mouth and moaning embarrassingly when his tongue traced mine. Warm hands grasped my waist and Marco’s mouth was against my ear. “Daddy Roe loves to kiss. You’ll be walking down the hall minding your own business and he’ll drag you into a corner and kiss you senseless.”

I gasped, pulling away and slightly tilting my head towards Marco “Do you like kissing too?”

“Oh, I really do.” Then Marco’s lips were on mine. He was more demanding but no less sweet. I couldn’t believe I was sitting here being devoured by these two amazing men. Marco’s lips were rougher and his hands cupped my face obsessively while Roman pushed my hair back and kissed along my neck.

They took turns kissing me until I was breathless and more than a little hard, but I didn’t touch myself, not knowing if that was allowed. I knew sometimes Daddies liked to put their Littles on restrictions, and I didn’t want to do something wrong only moments into our relationship.

Roman pressed a soft kiss to my forehead then pulled away. “I think we should have something to eat and then talk. I’m sure you would feel more comfortable once we discuss safe words and limits.”

I rubbed my hands against my jeans, nodding. “I like to know what’s expected of me, otherwise I worry I might mess up.”

“Sweetheart, you are not going to mess up. We’re all going to be learning about each other. As your Daddies, we’re going to have rules for you to follow and punishments for when you don’t.”

“Like what?” I liked the sound of that, it made me curious as to what to expect.

“Hmm. For minor things maybe corner time, but more serious breaches, say you are not eating properly or sleeping, then there could be an arse spanking. The same punishment could go for you touching yourself without our permission,” Marco said.

“Oh.” My dick twitched, and I wasn’t sure if it was interested in the spanking or the control, they were talking about having over me. Both things sounded exciting and really amazing to me.

“None of this is going to happen without us sitting down and talking things through,” Roman said, levelling Marco with a stern look before moving back around to the other side of the island.

“Roe is right, sweetheart. We’re going to hash shit out and not leave any doubts in that cute little brain of yours. We’re not going to push you to call us Daddy yet, but eventually we hope you’ll feel we deserve the titles.” Marco took one of my hands from my lap and brought it to his lips, kissing it.

“For now, we are going to enjoy each other’s company. Maybe you’d like to see our Littles room downstairs,” Roman said, lifting out a sizzling pan of roasted potatoes. My stomach growled happily.

“That would be brilliant.” I watched as Marco moved around to help Roe dish out dinner, the two working in unison.

“So the club and kitchen is downstairs and you live upstairs?” I asked spying the bowl of peas being served up and trying not to scowl.

“Yes we have our suite plus guest rooms. All the rooms have their own bathroom, plus there is a sitting room and library. It’s nice to have some separation between the club and our home,” Roman said. He started to carve the roast beef and my stomach let out another loud growl, reminding me I had barely eaten all day.

“Hear that Roe? Sounds like our boy has a tiger hiding in his belly.” Marco patted my stomach as he walked past carrying a basket full of fresh dinner rolls.

Roman gave me a measured look and pursed his lips. “Did you eat today, Seb?’

“Does one of Lilly’s raspberry and chocolate brownies count?” I asked hopefully.

“While Lilly’s baked goods are a food group in themselves, they really don’t count as a proper meal.” Roman motioned to the counter behind him. “Be a love and grab out the cutlery please, knives and forks and a dessert spoon will do.”

I jumped off my stool and moved across to the drawers Roman had pointed to, happy to be doing something while my brain processed everything that was happening. They were right, things were moving fast, but it didn’t scare me off. On the contrary, I’d been longing for something, a special connection, for so long. To have it within my grasp now, there was no way I wanted to slow down.

I touched my lips, still feeling the ghost of the kisses I’d shared with them, I really wanted more of those.

“Seb darling, have I lost you?” Roman sounded amused. Whoops. I’d been woolgathering in front of the cutlery drawer. I grabbed handfuls of silverware and hoped they were the right ones and dashed back to the table.

“No running in the kitchen, Sebastian.” Roe gave me what was meant to be a stern look, but it didn’t really work with how much he was smiling.

“Sorry.” I slowed my steps a little bit to the amusement of Marco, who grabbed me by the waist as I ran past. Looking between Marco and Roman, it dawned on me the only thing that would make this fantastic night better was to be able to call them Daddy, that had been one of my deepest desires. I could see how different they both were. Roman was already showing what a caring and attentive Daddy he would be but also one who loved to touch and cuddle. Marco was fire and fun and I was sure he would be the one to push me past my comfort zone and try new things while Roman would make sure to kiss the boo boos I got along the way.

I smiled hesitantly at both of them unsure how to say what was on my mind but deciding I would just blurt it out. “I want Roman to be Daddy and you to be my Papa.” I held my breath waiting for their reaction.

“Give Papa a kiss,” Marco said.

I relaxed into his arms as he started to kiss me. It definitely wasn’t a chaste kiss, and I was left panting and a little hard when he pulled away.

“I should set the table like Daddy Roe said.” I blushed, saying it out loud for the first time but I didn’t want to take it back. It felt so right when I said it.

“You should, baby. Gotta say, I love how that word sounds coming from your sweet mouth.” Marco gave me a hug then gently sent me on my way.

I glanced over at Roe as I set out the cutlery and saw him smiling at me. I grinned back, a lightness settling over me that I’d never felt before. This might be happening fast, but damn it, I was going to hold on tight and enjoy the ride while it lasted.