Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

SEBASTIAN

“ A re you coming out tonight to the Dancing Fox?” Lilly paused her fastidious dildo placement on the shelf to look over to where I was sitting and scowling at the monitor. The store’s site had been giving me problems all day and I had promised Rose I’d have it up and running before the weekend.

“Probably not. I need to get this damn site working, plus I’m working til nine tonight doing the closing.” I really wasn’t a pub kind of guy, and I didn’t mind the extra hours. The extra cash was always handy. Rose paid us well and she’d let me rent the flat upstairs for next to nothing, but there were still bills and the everyday expenses that turned up. I mused, not for the first time, how sheltered I’d been living at home. Every bill and expense was paid for by my parents, but that had come at a cost. I was to live the life they had mapped out for me and not deviate from the path. School, University, get a good job, marry the right person, and give them the desired grandchildren to carry on the Hawthorn name. My parents’ careful planning didn’t take into consideration that my first crush would be senior maths teacher Mr Wallace, or that my first kiss would be with Toby Wiseman behind the bandstand in Crispin Park.

Lilly left the dildos she’d been carefully lining up on the display shelf to come over and lean on the counter. “Please tell me you’re not working Saturday night. You promised you would come to Crimson House with us.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I’m going to be a third wheel with you and Liz. I can’t imagine why you want me along.” Liz was Lilly’s Domme and Mummy, and both she and Lilly had gotten it into their heads that I needed to get out more—and by getting out more they meant that I needed to go with them to the exclusive Kink club they belonged to.

“Don’t be silly, you know it was Liz who suggested it. How else are you going to finally find your perfect Daddy?” Lilly was so earnest and sweet I had to smile.

“I’ve been doing okay.”

I hadn’t, though. The occasional Little date I had with Lilly and her Mummy wasn’t the same as having a caretaker of my own—well, not that I could imagine. I hadn’t had a Daddy yet, and I was starting to think that maybe it was a bit too scary to put myself out there. The few dates I’d gone on, the guys hadn’t been the sort that I had wanted to open up to about my Little side.

I fidgeted with the keyboard, avoiding Lilly’s gaze. “Seriously, I’ve been doing fine.”

Lilly shook her head fiercely and her large silver hooped earrings bounced and swung so much that I was afraid one of them was going to come flying off. “‘Fine’ is not eating microwave meals for one and watching hours of Bake Off reruns.”

I let out a snort. Of course she would call me out. As I was learning, that’s what friends did for each other. Growing up I’d had limited company, my parents carefully vetting and rejecting most people that I wanted to become close with, so having Lilly in my life had been an awakening.

“There is never a reason not to admire Paul Hollywood,” I responded airily. “And I don’t live off microwave meals.” Lilly arched her brow and I found myself backtracking. “Okay, just not all the time. I remember to eat fruit and vegetables and shit occasionally.”

“When was the last time a vegetable passed your lips? And I don’t mean the packet of crisps you had with your lunch today.” Lilly narrowed her eyes in challenge.

“Crisps,” I said, “are made from potatoes, therefore are vegetables, so I am not a liar, Ms. Smartypants.”

“Sebastian Hawthorn, you are so full of shit. Crisps don’t count. And you’re just trying to sidetrack me.” Lilly reached out and grabbed my hands. “Please Seb, come out. You promised you’d come with us Saturday night. Liz said it’s Little night, so we can use the playroom, and there will be other Littles for us to hang out with. It’ll be good for you.”

“I don’t know. You and Liz are the only two people who know about that. I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be hanging out with a bunch of strangers and it’s a kink club, Lilly. I’m going to stick out like a great big virginy bug in a rug. I’ve spent the last year and half trying to get to know myself, know the person not tangled up in all Mum and Dad’s expectations and bullshit. I didn’t want to date before now.”

Lilly giggled. “That, and you are too shy to ask boys out on dates. I don’t think virginy is a word, but I get it. You’re nervous. I was too the first time I went, but Crimson House is so cool and everyone there is super nice and supportive, and don’t forget, you speak to most of them online in the Littles’ chat group.”

If I dug my heels in and said no, I knew Lilly would respect that and leave it be. But was I really satisfied with how things were going? I knew one thing for certain. I was never going to meet the Daddy of my dreams if I kept hiding in my flat.

“Okay, fine. I’ll come. But just don’t expect miracles out of me. I’m not a social butterfly, and what I know about kinks wouldn’t fill my sippy cup,” I answered. “Now, you’ve got dildos that need putting away, and I’m going to have one last try at getting this shopping cart to work properly before I burn the whole website down.”

“Miss Rose would never forgive you,” Lilly said, moving back to the display shelf.

“Yes she would. She said she loves me most.” I laughed.

The Naughty Nook adult shop was owned by Miss Rose Devine. Rose had danced for Folies Bergère in her youth, before coming back to our tiny town of Earsling Downs and becoming the publican for the Dancing Fox pub. She had decided the area was sadly lacking in shops of an adult variety and had set out to fix that. With her loud yet loving ways, she’d somehow won the entire town over. Of course, there were still some who gave the shop the side-eye and talked about how it was a place for perverts. Miss Rose responded by having a T-shirt made up that said Pervert in Chief . The shop did a surprisingly brisk trade, mostly because of its discreet off-street parking and Rose’s no nonsense approach to business.

I owed Rose a lot. She’d found me literally on the street at my lowest point, sleeping in the bandstand—the same place I’d had my first kiss with Toby. She’d taken one look at me and dragged me back to hers. Her comforting presence and warm cocoa had drawn out the whole sorry story, and before I could blink she’d offered me a job and the flat above the store.

“We’re going to have so much fun Saturday night. Just wait til you see their Little room. Oh, and the bar sells these non-alcoholic cocktails that taste amazing. There will be people you speak to in our discord chat all the time,” Lilly said as she wrestled a particularly large and ominously shaped Bad Dragon dildo into the display cabinet.

“I suppose, but it’s different, you know, talking to people online about stuff and then face to face.” Ever since I was a child I’d hated large gatherings. Even a small group of people could inspire a sense of dread in me. My parents didn’t socialise, unless it was members of the golf club or my fathers business associates. They didn’t invite people over, and they’d strongly discouraged me from making friends at school.

“I promise if it gets too much we can leave.” Lilly answered, but I just stressed more, worrying that if I did have an attack I would ruin the night out for Lilly and Liz.

“I don’t want to ruin your night if I freak out.”

“I promise you won’t, and I’ll even help you pick out what to wear, otherwise that will be another thing you’ll end up stressing about.” She gave me a look that said ‘argue with me if you dare’ and my parents did not raise a foolish man, so I wisely nodded and agreed. Besides, she was right. I would spend the day worrying about what I was going to wear.

“Don’t forget, next week Rose wants us to decorate the shop for the holidays. It’s only a week until Christmas and we’re running behind,” Lilly said, grinning. The holidays were her favourite time of the year, second only to Halloween.

This would be my second Christmas away from home and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. Last year I’d spent the day with Rose, but this year I knew they were flying back to Paris to celebrate with their extended family, and Lilly and her Mummy would be at Crimson House for some big holiday thing that the owners did every year.

I was not looking forward to spending Christmas alone, but it was still better than Christmas spent with my family. At least I wouldn’t be sent to my room when the dinner guests arrived, or have the presents my grandparents gave me thrown out for being too frivolous or childish. I would make time during the week to find a cute little tree for the flat, and throw some tinsel and decorations around the place.

For the next hour the shop was quiet. Then we had a group of people come in wanting to buy supplies for a weekend hen’s party. Their exuberance and mildly tipsy behaviour was both amusing and a little frustrating. By the time they left, I was exhausted. Lilly had finished her shift, and it was just me for the next two hours till closing. I didn’t mind too much. If it stayed quiet so I could get started on my newest design. When Lilly and I had become friends and spoke about our shared Little-hood she had mused about the lack of fun play clothes for when she was in Little space, pointing out that while onesies and the like were great for getting her into the headspace, sometimes she wanted to wear something different, almost like adult dress up clothes, but comfortable and built to withstand the rigours an adventurous little would put them through. I’d always loved designing clothes and sewing, a skill my grandmother had lovingly taught me, and sewing helped me remember there had once been a family member that loved me unconditionally.

I dragged out my sketch pad from under the counter and started to work on the design I had in mind for Lilly. It was going to be a birthday surprise. I just hoped I could have it finished in time.

I lost track of time as I worked on the sketch of Lilly’s giraffe onesie. When the buzzer on the shop door went, I glanced up as two distractingly handsome men came into view. I nodded to them but didn’t approach them, letting them look about the store. If they needed help I was sure they would ask. I went back to my sketch, mindful I was now no longer alone in the store. I could hear them talking in low voices. At least they weren’t drunk-yelling like the hens’ party customers. My brain could only deal with so much noise before it got overwhelmed, and loud voices always put me on edge regardless of the speaker’s intent.

I rubbed my neck, feeling the knots in my muscles. I still had an hour to go before I could finally shut the shop for the night. I glanced over to where the two men were browsing throughout our selection of lube. They really were all kinds of hot. The taller of the two had blond hair that was pulled back in a neat ponytail and a thick curly beard that my fingers itched to touch. Beards had always been a bit of a thing for me. I could never grow my own. It always ended up looking like a half shaved orange cat’s arse. I’d used that description once around Lilly and she’d spat her chocolate milk out across the counter. It had been kind of gross, but totally hilarious. Mr Blonde had a lot of ink peeking out from under his rolled up shirt sleeves, and when he turned to say something to the dark haired shorter man I saw that the ink travelled up his throat. I touched my own throat, remembering when I got my ink. I’d been working at the shop for a month and had just celebrated my nineteenth birthday. Miss Rose had taken me for a day trip to Tewsbury and we’d stopped by to see her favourite tattooist, Callum. It was there that I first caught sight of a Daddy Dom and his boy in the wild.

As Miss Rose and Callum talked, I saw the other tattooist sitting with a young man close to my age. I didn’t mean to listen in, but then I heard the young guy call the other one ‘Daddy’ softly. I watched as the large tattooist slid a colouring book and pencils to the young man before he gave him a kiss that was scorching hot. I blushed and turned to see both Miss Rose and Callum smiling at me. Callum called the young man over and introduced him to me as Rhys, and he and I ended up sitting and talking while Callum gave Miss Rose new ink. Rhys and I shared similar family problems, though mine was nowhere near as horrific as his, and he was open about Simon being his Daddy. I was both fascinated and a little envious. By the time Miss Rose had finished, I had also met Simon and had booked in to get my grandmother’s favourite flowers tattooed on my throat. I’d been back to Viking Ink since, and counted Rhys as one of my tiny circle of friends.

Looking up, I saw that the two guys seemed to be interested in Lilly’s great wall of wangs—or the dildo display, as normal people would call it. While they were occupied, I reached under the counter and grabbed a handful of M&M’s. The hit of crunchy chocolate heaven was just what I needed to make it through the last hour of my shift. I bent down and grabbed another handful shoving them into my mouth, but when I sat up both men were standing in front of the counter. To my horror I let out a squawk and inhaled the M&M’s, which caused me to choke. Trying to regain my composure only seemed to make it worse as I struggled to catch my breath.

Next minute the dark haired man was around the counter, patting me on the back gently and asking if I had water close to hand. I pointed to the back room behind me, still coughing and wheezing.

A glass of water was pressed into my hand and he resumed patting my back gently.

“I’m so sorry. I feel we are responsible for your current situation,” the dark-haired man said. He had a nice voice, slightly husky like he’d smoked a cigar.

I waved my hand, trying to signal it was my own fault. Finally, after another sip of drink, I was able to speak.

“It was totally my fault. I shouldn’t have tried to sneak more M&Ms in. That will teach me not to try and fit a whole handful in my mouth at once.” I laughed wetly, trying to inject some humour.

“Nonsense. Marco, can you fill this up?” The guy passed my empty glass to the blonde guy—Marco, I guessed.

“Just let Roman fuss over you. It’s what he does,” Marco said. His voice was deeper and slightly accented. When I looked up he gave me a friendly smile, his glacial blue eyes dancing in gentle humour.

“I’m fine, seriously.” I protested but he just shook his head and moved off to get more water.

“Does your throat hurt?” Roman moved around from rubbing my back to standing alongside me.

“I really am fine.” There was something sweet about his concern.

“Your face did go quite red.” He was still patting my back softly and I wasn’t sure whether it was to comfort me or him.

“Hehe, um, bright red face is kind of something I do. My blush is on a hair trigger and if I cough too hard I’m as red as a strawberry. It’s kind of embarrassing, especially when it goes with all this.” I pointed to my auburn curls.

Roman smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners. It somehow made him even more handsome, if that was possible.

“Roe, give the poor man some space.” Marco came back holding out a full glass.

I drank it down then set the glass on the counter top. “Now my impending demise by sweets has been averted, how can I help?

“Ah.” Roman smiled. “Lilly called and asked if we could drop in a membership form and some information, as she was bringing a friend along to our open night on Saturday night.”

That sneaky sneak. “Did she tell you she’d be working this afternoon?”

“Actually she did, and the fact I cannot see her pink pigtails anywhere leads me to believe that she is, in fact, not here.” Roman answered.

“No, the little sneak left a couple of hours ago. Um, just so you know I’m the friend that she and Liz are bringing along Saturday. I’m Sebastian.” Both Roman and Marco looked at me, and for a moment I wondered if they were trying to find a polite way to say I shouldn’t come.

“Oh well, that is interesting, and it’s a pleasure to meet you Sebastian.” Was it weird that I liked how Roman said my name? I wasn’t sure if it was just the tone, or the hint of a smile when he said it, but I couldn’t help but smile shyly back.

“Have you ever been to a club like ours before, Sebastian?” Marco leaned his hip against the counter, fixing me with an assessing gaze.

I shook my head “No, Sir, but I’ve heard only amazing things from Lilly. I know that it’s a BDSM club, and that you have a brilliant reputation in the scene, and you are one of the few clubs around here that have catered for the Ageplay community.”

Marco gave a short laugh. “Have you been doing research on us?”

I dropped my eyes to my sketch. When Lilly had brought up the idea originally of me coming to Crimson House, I’d done a deep dive into kink clubs and Crimson House, as well as trying to educate myself in the lifestyle.

“I might have done a little snooping,” I admitted aloud.

“Very sensible, young man. We would have encouraged you to do just that, if you had not already done that.” Roman pulled out some papers from a pocket inside his jacket.

“This is a membership form, and the other sheet is a kink list. I’m going to assume you’ve never seen one before.” Roman smiled kindly and laid the sheets out on the counter.

“No Sir. I’ve heard about them, but never actually filled one in.” I couldn’t very well tell them up until a year and half ago I’d been living in a bubble, and that everything I did, the people I saw, were all strictly policed. They didn’t need to know all of that.

“Don’t let all this intimidate you. The temporary membership form is just a formality. It covers our insurance. But we also are sure that any friend of Lilly’s would make a wonderful addition to our club.” Roman spread out the forms showing me the temporary membership. That was pretty much standard and I understood the need to carefully vet those who wanted to join a club like theirs and to have a signed confidentiality clause. The kink list was another story. Just reading down the page had me starting to blush. I had worked in a sex store for the past year and half, but there were some things on there I’d never heard of.

“I think this might be a bit too much for him, Roe.” Marco’s voice was full of concern.

“No it’s okay. I mean it’s a bit sudden and not what I imagined looking over today, I’ll be honest.” I gave an apologetic shrug and Marco smiled.

“I just barrelled in like normal, didn’t I?” Roman shook his head, laughing in a self deprecating manner.

“No honestly, it’s fine.” The buzzer over the shop door went and a couple of people walked in. “I probably am not going to have time to go over it now.” I smiled ruefully.

Roman and Marco shared a look before Roman turned back to me. “This is going to sound a bit forward, but would you like to meet us for dinner tomorrow night? We could go over the forms and talk about any concerns you might have. Lilly did say you were feeling a bit hesitant.”

Marco nodded. “Sounds like a plan. We can show you around the club while it’s not open, you can talk to us about your reservations, and we can share a meal.”

I looked at both men, and it took a moment to understand what they were asking. These two incredibly handsome men who, let’s be honest, ticked all of my boxes, were inviting me to share a meal with them and look around their kink club.

I did what any self respecting guy with a brain would do.

I said yes.