Six

Sofia

I hate that I feel this way, because this man: who he is, what he does, it’s wrong, on so many levels. He’s the kind of man I avoid, he scares me, but he also fascinates me. I’m wildly attracted to him, but at the same time I know I can’t go there. What’s happening here, I’m doing this to save Ana’s future, that’s all. To keep a roof over our heads. I’m running out of options, so I’m doing this because I have to. Because Skip offered me this chance, he wants to help me. But I also know that isn’t all he wants. He wants me . Am I part of the bargain? Is that really the kind of world I’ve suddenly become involved in?

He closes the door of a room he called the chapel behind him: it’s a kind of meeting room, apparently, and I turn around to face him. “Why do you do it?”

He frowns slightly. “Do what?”

“Pretend to be someone else?”

He laughs slightly, bowing his head for a couple of beats before his eyes lock back on mine. “You trying to analyze me?”

“No. Just curious.”

“I am what I am, and this club, it’s in my blood. But I don’t always want to be around the people who hang out here twenty-four-seven. I like to try new things.”

“Is that what I am? A new thing?”

He laughs again. Turns his head away briefly, again.

“Do I make you nervous?”

His head shoots back around, and I smile as he moves toward me. “Nothing makes me nervous, sweetheart. Not even you.”

My heart’s beating out a heavy rhythm as he stops a little way in front of me. And I’m trying to fight the attraction I feel for this man with every fiber of my being, but it feels like I’m losing. Am I really that weak? I’m flirting, and I shouldn’t be doing this. What kind of example am I setting Ana? But Ana isn’t here, is she? She isn’t here, and what she doesn’t know…

“So, do I get to call you my new accountant?” he asks, taking another step forward, and I feel my heart beat that little bit harder, almost throwing itself against my ribs.

“ Your new accountant? I thought I’d be working for the club?”

The corner of his mouth twists up into a smirk, and he reaches out, cups my cheek in his palm and leans in to kiss me: the softest, briefest of kisses that completely belies everything he appears to be. Now. The first time I met him, the man he seemed to be, then, this is the kind of kiss I would’ve expected from him . But not this man in front of me. And as he pulls away from me slightly, I just have time to stop myself from gasping like some love-struck teenager. Is this why Ana goes for this type of man? Are they so different, so completely wrong that it becomes insanely hot? Even for a woman of my age?

You’re thirty-nine.

You’re not dead yet…

“You’ll be working for the club,” he whispers, backing me up against the huge wooden table in the center of the room. “But you’ll answer to me .” And as he drops his hand and touches my thigh I don’t stop him. I don’t remove his hand or push him away and I know I could still walk away from this. Should walk away from this, because I don’t do this. This isn’t me, I haven’t slept with a man in over two years, I haven’t wanted to. There’ve been other things I’ve needed to concentrate on. But Skip Larsen, he’s woken something up inside of me that’s been dormant for far too long. Yes, I have shit to sort out, but I’m starting to do that now, aren’t I? With Skip’s help. I’m starting to do that…

I bite down on my lip to, once more, stop that girlish gasp from escaping, I’m a grown-up: an adult. Someone who should know better, but I can’t stop this now, I actually want to do this. Me. Sofia Sorenson, the good girl.

The one who got herself knocked-up at sixteen? To a man who didn’t give a fuck about her, or his child?

Yeah. Right. I was a good girl…

He rests his hand against the side of my neck, pushes my head back slightly, his lips grazing the base of my throat with kisses that gradually become harder, more insistent as his mouth travels up toward mine. I close my eyes and forget everything else, I have to forget everything else otherwise I probably would stop this, but for a few beautiful minutes I don’t want to be sensible, I don’t want to be a mama or the woman who’s trying desperately to sort out her messed-up life. I want to shut all that down, for a little while, and just be me. A woman who hasn’t been touched by a man in too long.

I lift my hips up slightly, let him tug down my panties, and for the briefest of seconds, a moment that’s barely there, I wonder if now’s the time to stop this. Before it goes too far… I ignore it, that moment, and as I wrap my legs around his hips: feel him gently push inside me, I smile. I lean back, moan quietly as his fingers dig into my thighs: as he thrusts into me, slowly at first, but then the pace quickens. It’s fast, but he isn’t hurting me, he isn’t being too forceful, and I’m taking it. All of it, I want him. Skip Larsen. This man who’s still a stranger to me, I want him to fuck me, like this. And as I feel him tense up, feel him climax, spilling out inside of me, there’s no guilt. No shame. But as our breathing slows down: as I look at him, knowing what we’ve just done… Yeah. I’m scared. What have we just done…?

“Do you want me to apologize?” He smiles, and I smile back. No. I don’t want him to apologize.

I shake my head, run my fingers lightly across the back of his neck, I’m choosing to ignore the fear. “So, what do we do now?”

He leans in to me, kisses my mouth, and I like the fact he tastes of stale smoke and beer. “We have one hell of a time together. That’s what we do.”

Okay. Now I really do feel like some love-struck teenager, but I need to pull myself together. Reality is slowly starting to creep back in. Skip hired me to do a job, and these men, you wrong them, in any way, and the consequences aren’t good. Am I really in danger, if I mess anything up? I think I am, despite this. Despite what we’ve just done. Sex with Skip doesn’t make me immune, I’m not stupid, I understand the situation I’m in. Or, at least, I’m beginning to.

He steps back from me, reaches down to retrieve my discarded panties and hands them to me. I take them, slip them back on and he watches me, which makes me shiver. I like that he’s watching me.

He jerks his head back, beckons me over, and I step into his arms, his hand falling lightly onto the small of my back, pressing me against him.

“And just for the record, beautiful, the sex was way better than okay.”

Joel

“Who’s she?” Kasper jerks his head in the direction of Skip and a blonde-haired woman talking at the bar. She’s pretty, but the way she’s dressed, all business-like, she’s not really the kind of woman we usually see hanging out at the clubhouse, which makes me wonder what she’s doing here.

“No idea. Never seen her before.”

Kasper continues to carve away at the seat of the wooden chair he’s sitting on with a pen knife. “Looks like it’s important, whatever they’re talking about.”

He’s right. It does. But Kasper’s concentration span times out as one of the regular club girls saunters past, all tits and legs that she’ll quite willingly open for any one of us. I should know. I’ve had her. She wasn’t all that.

“I’m off.” Kasper jumps up out of his seat and heads off in the direction of the girl who’s name I can’t even remember. He’s a good man, is Kasper. One of the best. Been here with the Vikings for a few years now, started out as a prospect and worked his way up to Sergeant-at-Arms. Originally from Sweden he made Denmark his home after leaving Stockholm a fucked-up kid who couldn’t cope with the death of his parents. Reminded me of me, when I first came here: first joined the Viking Bandits. I never set out to be a biker either, the life kind of just drew me in. I like the loyalty. The feeling of brotherhood. The freedom.

“Hey, Joel. Come here!”

I look up as Skip beckons me over. Looks like I’m about to find out who our mystery guest is.

“Joel, this is Sofia Sorenson. Our new accountant.”

I didn’t see that one coming. Whatever. I don’t question Skip’s decisions, he’s the president. My job is to support him. Still not sure why he got rid of Ulrich so quickly and replaced him with this hot blonde, but, like I said, I don’t question.

“She been briefed?”

“He’s told me all I need to know. And I’d appreciate it if you spoke to me while talking about me.”

Whoa! This one has a mouth. But, y’know, pushovers and easy bitches do nothing for me. I like a woman who isn’t afraid to have an opinion.

“Okay…” I lock eyes with her: hold her stare. “You know that everything we ask you to do, if it isn’t legit you need to make it look like it is.”

“I’m fully aware of everything, Joel.”

I throw her a slow smile, flip a cigarette between my teeth, lighting up without even asking if she minds. Fuck her. This is our clubhouse, she plays by our rules, although, I’m sure Skip’s told her all that, too.

“Good to meet you, Sofia.”

I take a drag on my cigarette, blowing smoke up at the ceiling as I back away from her, smirking.

I head outside: join Wade and Kai in the workshop. Wade is one of our American brothers. Followed a girl out here to Europe, and never left. Ended up at the Viking’s clubhouse after the girl dumped him for her college lecturer, leaving Wade a bitter young man needing somewhere to let off steam. This club gave him that outlet. It also turned out that he’s something of a genius when it comes to numbers, which is why he’s been the club’s treasurer for a while now. Kai’s Swedish. Our road captain. A good-looking son-of-a-bitch who’s constantly surrounded by club girls, and rarely misses an opportunity to play on that. I’m surprised there are none hanging on his every word right now.

“You done something to piss off the women, Kai?”

He looks at me, frowning slightly. “Huh?”

I wave my hand around, indicating the fact it’s just us guys out here. “The lack of female attention.”

“Piss off… Whoa! Who is she ?”

Both Wade and I follow Kai’s gaze, watching as Sofia sashays across the compound to her car, ignoring the whistles and completely inappropriate shit being yelled at her from the barbarians hanging around outside.

“Our new accountant. Apparently.”

Kai looks at me, his frown deepening. “Seriously?”

I shrug. “Skip just introduced me to her.”

“What the fuck did Ulrich do?” Wade asks, lighting up a joint and dragging deep. “Mind you, there was this rumor of embezzlement at the last club he worked for… He hasn’t tried that here, has he?”

“He wouldn’t be breathing if he had,” I shoot back.

I was there, last night, when Skip sacked Ulrich. There were no accusations of wrong doing. No lengthy, drawn-out explanations as to why the club was ceasing our working relationship, just the threat of death if he breathed a word of anything he shouldn’t, and the request that he send all the books over to us first thing this morning. The books arrived bright and early, and Ulrich’s now on his way to Munich, with his P.A.

“Joel. A word.”

I turn to see Skip beckon me over. Again.

“Later, bitches.” I grin at Wade and Kai, flicking my cigarette butt at them as I walk away, back over to Skip.

“Sofia’s got the books. She’s going to look them over and bring them back tomorrow.”

“You banging her?”

“Watch your fucking mouth, Joel.”

“You sack Ulrich for no good reason and the next thing I know we’ve got Miss Denmark as our new accountant. What the fuck’s going on?”

“She’s in trouble, okay? Her business is failing, she’s got a kid to look after, debts to pay off…”

“So, what? We’re a charity now? Where’d you meet her, anyway?”

“She’s our new accountant, Joel. Deal with it.”

I’m not buying this. Skip likes a pretty face, we all do, but this? Even for Skip it all seems a bit random. A bit sudden.

“She needs our help. And it’s not like she’s taking without earning, so quit with the questions. Accept my decision.”

“You know these bastards are going to be all over her.”

“I don’t intend to have her hanging around here that often. She can work out of the office above the piercing studio.”

“’Cause no brothers ever hang out down there.”

Skip ignores my obvious sarcasm and takes one last drag on his cigarette before throwing it to the floor, crushing it into the concrete with the heel of his boot.

“Come on. We’ve got work to do. The Blackhawks have been sniffing ’round again, I want eyes on their compound until I say otherwise. Round everyone up. I’m calling church.”

Sofia

“I have to do it, Ana. I have no choice, and I’m sorry, for keeping you in the dark about all of this but I didn’t want you to worry…”

“You should’ve told me. I’m not a kid anymore, I could’ve helped.”

“No! Your business is completely separate to any of this, you don’t touch that, do you hear me?”

Ana pulls her knees to her chest and hugs them tight. “This biker club, I looked them up, online.”

“So did I,” I sigh, sitting back in my seat and throwing my pen down onto the pile of books in front of me. The Viking Bandits’ books.

“Some of those newspaper articles… What they’ve been mixed up in, aren’t you scared?”

I shrug. I don’t know if I am anymore, I really don’t. What I do know is that I just might have a way out of all my problems now, and I’m taking it. I just need to be careful, that’s all. And sleeping with Skip: giving in to him so easily, I’m not sure that was the smartest move on my part. I mean, what does that say about me? Now I’m home, back to reality, I feel like I may have set myself up to be weak, in his eyes. I fell for him, I let him take me, and I’m better than that. “No. I’m not scared.” Even if I was, I wouldn’t let Ana see that. “I’m there to do a job, that’s all.”

“And this Skip, can you trust him?”

“He trusts me . I think that says a lot.”

“What do you really have to do for them? Isn’t it all – I don’t know… is it even legal? What you’re doing for them? I mean, they’ve been mixed up in all kinds of stuff–”

“Allegedly, Ana. Everything we’ve read, it was all speculation.”

Was it? Really? Can I actually hear the words coming out of my mouth right now? Am I that desperate that I’m now defending these men?

Yes. I am…

“You don’t need to know the details, alright? This has got nothing to do with you, you stay well away from all of this. Which means you say nothing to Lars or Lea, do you hear me? I just want to get my head down, and finally get us out of this mess. Which I think I can actually do now, with Skip’s help.”

Ana looks at me, and I wonder if I’ve done the right thing. Have I put her in danger by telling her what I’m doing? But she has to know. She comes to see me at work, frequently, for lunch. A chat. She can’t do that now, I’m closing the office. So, she had to know what was happening, but I can’t help feeling a little uneasy, about all of it. Especially now. I crossed another line today, one I should never have stepped over. And yet, thinking about it – thinking about him – it still makes me shiver, in the most beautiful way. He excites me, as well as scares me. A potent combination. A dangerous one…?

“What’s the compound like?”

Ana’s voice drags me back to the here and now. “It’s a yard, Ana. It’s nothing special.”

“They’ve got a clubhouse, though. Right? I mean, all of these gangs, they have a bar or somewhere to hang out–”

“You stay away from that place.”

She is going nowhere near that club. I can see it in her eyes, she thinks the men who frequent these places are like the “bad boys” she’s so attracted to. She’s wrong. Those men – the Vikings – they aren’t playing at being bad, it’s in their blood.

“What I’m doing, it’s a necessity, borne out of nothing more than desperation. I’m doing it because I have to, not because I want to. Do you understand?”

She gets up and comes over to me, sliding her arms around my neck from behind, giving me a gentle hug. “I can talk to Lars and Lea, Mama. You’ve seen our books, you know we can help–”

“No, Ana!”

“I can make something up, they don’t need to know what’s really going on. You don’t have to do this.”

I take her hand and squeeze it gently, kissing the back of it. “Yes. I do.”